My GF is an MA, is it cheating?

[Guest J**ck*9]

Gosh no G ... we're way classier than anybody who's on the Jerry Springer show. And far be it for me to throw a chair and risk hitting one of many classy individuals that are represented by the fairer sex within our community..... lol

 

But in fairness to you, I can certainly appreciate and respect your POV

[Gregsand 6116]

Gosh no G ... we're way classier than anybody who's on the Jerry Springer show. And far be it for me to throw a chair and risk hitting one of many classy individuals that are represented by the fairer sex within our community..... lol

 

But in fairness to you, I can certainly appreciate and respect your POV

 

Are you seriously such a stranger to humor and sarcasm? LOL:boobeyes:

[Guest J**ck*9]

Are you seriously such a stranger to humor and sarcasm? LOL:boobeyes:

 

 

 

I guess you didn't notice my "lol"

[Gregsand 6116]

I guess you didn't notice my "lol"

 

In all fairness, many people type "lol" as a reflex without even knowing the meaning. Just wanted to be sure we were on same page.

 

Have a nice weekend.

[castle 38816]

As some have pointed out, being an MA isn't cheating in and of itself. The word "cheating" implies some form of deception. The fact that she lied about it is the problematic part here. Then again, maybe not.

 

But I have a question, when you say you found out she was an MA, did you find out by some other means or did she break the news to you herself? If she was eventually honest with you about it then I'd cut her some slack... she might have had her reasons (such as waiting until the relationship was on solid, sturdy ground) before revealing that part of her life to you.

 

As Cat points out, discretion is paramount in this line of work, a lot of times a girl's livelihood (and her safety) depends on it. Maybe she needed to first make sure that you weren't the type of guy to show up at her place of work and start a scene or "out" her to her friends and family before revealing this to you.

 

If this is a relatively new relationship, then I can honestly say I wouldn't blame her for not disclosing this to you right away for the reasons of discretion as I previously noted. If you've been together for a long time and she still felt she couldn't tell you about this, then there may be some trust issues to work through there.

 

Being a MA is a non-issue IMO, it's the lack of honesty and transparency that raises more serious questions (depending on how long you've been together and how serious this relationship is). Long story short, there is no clear-cut "yes" or "no" answer to this question of cheating.

[Phaedrus 209521]

FWIW, I get the impression that the question of how and when to have the "Actually, I'm a sex worker" conversation with a new partner is one that people agonize over, and there may well not be any good options. If she has it too early then she risks too many people knowing, greater risk of being outed, and all the consequences Cat described. But leave it too late, and the fallout can be worse if it goes badly... and there's always the risk of it being discovered by some other means.

 

There really isn't a good option, and it isn't at all clear to me which is least bad.

[drlove 37204]

Guys/Girls, join in on my debate. I found out my GF is an MA after she told me she was a waitress/barmaid. She clearly hid this from me so should I consider this cheating?

 

If I was a single guy, for sure I would enjoy the company of a young sexy MA. But I'm in a relationship with her and we live together. She is doing MA as her career choice, and while she clearly loves doing it, where do that leave me?

 

Is this cheating?

 

Join in on this post, I'm curious what the guys and girls think.

 

I think you have to understand that this is her occupation, and therefore business. As such, I think it's a stretch to say she's cheating. As for not being upfront with you, that's a grey area. Ideally she would have told you the truth. However, perhaps she felt uncomfortable revealing it due to the pervasive social stigma that STILL surrounds sexwork. (2017 or not, it seems we're still firmly entrenched in the Victorian/ Puritan era, folks!). That said, look at it from your own perspective: Did you inform her that you're a hobbyist? Hypothetically speaking, would you have any compunction about revealing such info to a future GF? Given the nature of what's involved, I think giving the other party a bit of latitude and viewing the glass as half full, not half empty is a prudent course of action here. My two cents for today...

[LinusOliver 1061]

Having walked this walk myself previously, all I can say I can say is walk away. The knowledge that your significant other is pleasuring other guys was too much for me to deal with and the fact that she kept that from you in the form of a lie is a huge red flag.

 

Honestly, my 2 cents, if you're having these major issues now, what do you think will happen if you decide to tie the knot or have kids? Make no mistake - I frequent MAs and SPs, but when my girlfriend was an SP there was nothing more emasculating knowing some other guy was boning my girlfriend only to have her come home to me..... my relationship lasted 18 months. I can only tell you that it'll eat you up inside and that's no way to live.

[mark2012 140]

I dated a MA for a about 2 years, and I really knew what she was doing as we met in a massage session...

 

She was not providing anything else than HE.

 

I was comfortable with this, not sure if I would have been comfortable if she would have provided more services, but I guess you don't know unless it really happens to you !

 

Love is strong, she was an incredibly great person and we enjoyed all the time we spent together and I never judged her, it was her way to earn money and she did quite well !

 

I'm now in a relationship with a certified massage therapist (couple years now...) and I'm 300% sure she doesn't provide any extra, well except for me ;-) !

 

I really think this is a personal decision but just the fact to ask this question on this board... probably means you aren't ok with it ....

[Guest R��N***9]

If it is any consolation, remember who she comes home to. I have had the same experience but her heart belongs to me. I know other fellows in the very same situation. You either learn to deal with it or you move on. I will admit at times jealousy sometimes raises its ugly head but trust keeps control. Limits have been discussed and we are both aware and in agreement on those limits. You cannot control another person and hope that all will be well. That just isn't reality. The secret is complete openness on feelings and dealing with those feelings as they arise. Life is not perfect.

[brincar 1040]

I really think the real answer to your question is how do you see it? We all have our own comfort levels on what is acceptable in our own minds and what is considered as cheating or not.

 

I would also ask yourself the question "what if there's a strong connection" with a customer/client? Would she tell you that she had a connection with someone else and the fact that she really enjoyed it? I would find it really tough but the ultimate answer is going to come from you.

 

Just my point of view