New Book -- "Souled Out!"

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Tania Foilleau, a former madam from Burnaby, BC has published a book. Judging from the following, her life story is a very interesting one. On the othre hand, it sounds like the other aspect of the book is an anti-prostitution polemic, quoting the usual hackneyed statistics (follow the link to the full article to see the statistical claims, which I've left out here).

 

Alfie Lau reports for Burnaby Now, 10 Jan 2011:

 

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Former+Burnaby+madam+told+have+walk+away/4087859/story.html

If anybody knows how destructive the world of prostitution is, then Burnaby resident Tania Fiolleau would know.

 

Fiolleau, who formerly ran a brothel in the 4600 block of Kingsway - she got out of that location in 2002 - has recently written a book, Souled Out!, which details how she sold her soul to finance a child custody case.

 

Even though Fiolleau won her case, gaining custody of her two sons, she still suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder dating back to her days in prostitution.

 

And while Fiolleau is coping, she is trying to help others get out of the business she used to work in.

 

Fiolleau's story goes back to the mid-'90s, when she was working for the government and training to be a marine boat captain.

 

Fiolleau was also in an abusive marriage. Having left that situation and living in a battered women's shelter, she discovered she didn't qualify for legal aid in the custody battle with the father of their two sons.

 

"I was 26 at the time, and he had money and good lawyers, and I had to come up with money for a retainer for my lawyer," said Fiolleau.

 

She saw an ad in the newspaper promising $1,500 a day in a fun, friendly and safe environment and applied, not knowing exactly what she was getting into.

 

"I was told it was erotic massage or a body slide" - she understood body slide to mean no more than rubbing her breasts on a client - but she found out differently the first time she had a client.

 

"I was in shock," she said, "but I needed the money for the retainer. ... I didn't know what else I could do to get the money."

 

Even as Fiolleau felt that what she was doing was wrong - "I would go home and scrub myself because I felt so dirty," she said - she couldn't turn down the big money that came with the job.

 

"I was earning $1,700 per six-hour night shift," she said. "Once I learned how much I was making, I started working double shifts."

Even as Fiolleau got advice from her co-workers, she didn't know how destructive the job was.

 

"I remember one girl telling me, when I asked her how she did it, she told me 'I'm a robot,' so that's what I did when I was with a client, I became a robot too," she said.

 

Fiolleau's days as a "robot" wouldn't last long, as she soon realized she could make more money as a madam, running her own brothel.

She soon had her own brothel in Vancouver, and, in late 1998, she took control of a massage business on Kingsway, which she claims was Burnaby's last brothel.

 

"I guess I thought that running a brothel was better than being an escort," she said. "I owned the business, I ran the business, and it was one big muddy puddle I was in."

 

Fiolleau also ran two top-secret penthouse brothels that catered to people wanting discreet encounters, which meant she was running four operations.

 

The money was coming in fast and furious, which was sorely needed because her custody case dragged on for more than four years, and Fiolleau estimated it cost her more than $400,000.

 

At the end, Fiolleau promised the judge that if she won custody of her two boys, she would leave the business, and that's exactly what happened in 2002.

 

"I got custody, so I left the business," she said.

 

Fiolleau would move to California and get into real estate development, making enough money in the first couple of years to live in a multimillion-dollar home.

 

But that wouldn't last.

 

"The real estate market just tanked, and we lost everything," she said.

 

By 2006, Fiolleau was back in the Lower Mainland, and it was as if the bad economy followed her. She opened a private investigation business that lasted several months, and then she got back into running a penthouse.

 

"I started running girls out of penthouses again," she said. "These were the girls who had worked for me years ago, and I could see how they'd aged and developed drug habits."

 

Fiolleau again tried to go legit, opening a Richmond tanning salon, but even after winning awards for that business, she received a higher calling in 2008.

 

"I'd become Christian at this point, and God told me, you have to walk away from this ... and write a book and help save the women who are in prostitution," said Fiolleau.

 

And that's what Fiolleau did, spending the next two years writing Souled Out!, which she finally completed in October 2010.

 

In her book, Fiolleau tells of her experience in what she calls "a sick world, full of broken dreams and empty promises, battered, shattered, sexually abused women, men and children. ... (The sex industry) is causing alarming divorce rates, teen pregnancies, STDs-AIDS, drug usage, not to mention altered views of what sex really means."

 

Fiolleau said proceeds of the book don't go to her, but rather will go back into raising awareness and doing prevention for sexually exploited women and children and human traffic victims.

 

And if there is one overarching thought that Fiolleau wants to leave with people, it's in a statement on her website,

www.savethewomen.ca

:

 

"Please do not judge these girls/men any longer that are in the sex industry. Know that most of them are being 'forced' to do it, physically or mentally, by manipulation of people around them.

 

"Please open your eyes and see that we are all being lied to - that most of these girls do not like what they are doing and that it is all 'acting.'

 

"It could be your sister, your mother, your best friend's girl or even your daughter - and then think, is it all really worth the 'thrill' of self-gratification that lasts only a couple minutes? You are destroying lives of countless women while you do it - feeding the monster the sex industry has become. And now you are part of it too ... for there must be enablers to create victims.

 

"Be part of my campaign to help educate these women, clients and the public. If we can just save even one life, it was all worth it."

 

For more information, or to order Souled Out!, go to

www.savethewomen.ca

.

 

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

We're going to see more and more of this kind of thing in the time to come, while the courts figure out what they'll do with changes in the law.

 

I am frankly tired of the approach this writer takes, portraying all of us as hapless victims, forced into the sex trade and unable to make appropriate decisions and choices for ourselves. That may be true for some, but it's not true for many, and I venture to say it's even less true for independent companions who work indoors--that is, most of us. About 85% of paid companions work indoors, and most of us are independent, not working for agencies, in brothels or massage parlors.

 

We are no more likely to be drug addicts or alcoholics than other people. Sex workers with addiction issues don't do well in this industry. In most cases, their chemical dependencies are what drive them into sex work, not the other way around.

 

I do think it's true that the majority of women enter the sex trade because of overwhelming life circumstances that make them desperate to earn money, quickly. That's certainly true for me. Like the writer of this book, I was in the midst of an acrimonious divorce and fighting to keep my children while my ex could afford lawyers and to create endless court delays. Even now, years later, he refuses to follow court orders to pay child support; I am the only one who provides for our children.

 

When I was doing "career planning" in high school and in university, I never expected to become a paid companion, but I'm not sorry that this is what I do. I would have a much harder time living with myself, knowing that my children were not okay and that I couldn't care for them adequately simply because I refused to spend a few hours in the company of some very good and generous men.

 

While I think my story is not at all uncommon, I know other women who work in this industry without having similar pressures and responsibilities in their lives. They love this work and actively chose this profession, not out of desperation, but as a clear, deliberate choice.

 

Writers such as Foilleau generally portray paid companionship as degrading work with clients who are violent, abusive, angry, drunk or drugged and who have little or no genuine respect for women. This has never been my experience with any of my clients. Some I have liked much more than others; a few have become close, genuine friends. Some men I simply didn't enjoy or I couldn't form the kind of rapport with them that matters to me. But I have never been abused, threatened or placed in any kind of risk by any of the gentlemen who have visited me. Significantly, I can't say the same thing about my former husband who is a "respectable" professional with a high profile in his community. I was at much greater risk of lasting harm during my societally-approved, middle-class marriage than I have ever been with the men who have paid for my companionship.

 

The last thing I want to say about writers like Foilleau as well as the anti-sex feminists who campaign for increased restrictions on sex workers' lives and rights is that these folks' arguments always de-humanize us. We are portrayed as unable to make responsible decisions for ourselves, ignorant of the meaning of our work and/or enthralled to patriarchy, traffickers and pimps. Therefore, they say, our own experiences are not to be believed. They claim that the statements we make about our lives are products of the traumatic abuse from which we need to be rescued and protected--against our will--because we have lost the capacity to do what's right for ourselves, our children and our families.

 

Sensible, cautious, clean and sober, independent paid companions are not endangered by our clients anywhere nearly as much as we are by paternalistic, moralistic people like Tania Foilleau. In a misguided attempt to save women and men in the sex trade, they campaign to increase the risks for workers and our clients. One cannot save or help those whom one does not fundamentally respect. Foilleau and others like her are not our friends, they are our opponents.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

As I said, the part that I found interesting was her life story, not her anti-prostitution argument. (The list of books written by former Canadian brothel proprietresses is rather short, be they friendly or otherwise!)

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

I understand, WiT. Everyone has a story and most of them are fascinating, I think. But it's very difficult to write an honest memoir or autobiography and tell the truth about the choices one has made without some kind of organizine principle or structural goal in mind.

 

It sounds like Poilleau's life can be seen in many ways as a cautionary tale about working in this industry. That is, if one works hard, appeals to the client base that's best for them, their particular assets and style, and keeps things in balance, it is possible to make a good living in the sex trade and some will make a very fine income, indeed.

 

However, when all of that is dismissed or diminished because one has seen the light, and now not only knows what's right and best for everyone but also feels called to save others without obviously appreciating the personhood of those "victims" and the integrity of their lives, I hear warning bells.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

"I'd become Christian at this point, and God told me, you have to walk away from this ... and write a book and help save the women who are in prostitution," said Fiolleau."

 

Unfortunately no matter how legitimate and real her experiences were the religious conversion will completely taint her looking back and completely taint all her thoughts and insights. She will only see the worst side, exaggerate the bad, ignore any social-economic realities and gloss over any positives. All objectivity will be lost.

[OldBuck 1074]

"I'd become Christian at this point, and God told me, you have to walk away from this ... and write a book and help save the women who are in prostitution," said Fiolleau."

 

Unfortunately no matter how legitimate and real her experiences were the religious conversion will completely taint her looking back and completely taint all her thoughts and insights. She will only see the worst side, exaggerate the bad, ignore any social-economic realities and gloss over any positives. All objectivity will be lost.

God told me to nominate this post!

[Carrie Moon 68826]

"Please open your eyes and see that we are all being lied to - that most of these girls do not like what they are doing and that it is all 'acting.'

I'm not that great an actress! but how many people 'act' like they like their jobs in order to receive a paycheck at a square job?

 

God told me to nominate this post!

ha ha!

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Well, I read the book this afternoon. She definitely needed an editor, but it certainly wasn't boring. She's very intelligent. Of course, need it be mentioned, no-one's memoirs are free of biases, such as hindsight and a struggle with objectivity. This is true whether they happen to share our own view in all things -- or not. It'd be a boring old world if we only read those authors whose views completely dovetail with our own.

 

The bulk of the book deals with the childhood abuse, and later severe domestic abuse, that she suffered. And her years-long child-custody legal battle. Not easy to read.

 

There were a few high points from a pure entertainment perspective -- like her account of the time she blackmailed a judge (using a hidden video-camera and her own brothel's "girls" as bait) into letting her Russian-hitman-husband walk free in a criminal trial.

 

Her anti-prostitution section is not very edifying, but reflects the world as she sees it. The statistics are of course not credible, and she has a shaky understanding of the law, claiming at one point, for example (inexplicably as an ex-madam of two such establishments) that "Brothels are completely legal in Canada". She piles up a heap of prostitution news articles that she comments on, almost all of which are from the rather outdated period 1994 to 1998. She seems unaware of most legal developments since then, but does find time to mention, and disagree with, Susan Himel's Ontario judgement -- although she manages to call her "Tracy Hamill" in the process.

 

Summary and quote:

 

"There is no way for anyone to change the past .... I was right and I was wrong."

[fortunateone 156618]

Yes, the stats were selected from a study that only interviewed young street workers (all under 1 8 and only street workers, apparently (although there are few underage indoor workers anyway).

 

And she blames her sex work for her ptsd I believe, but also describes a pretty sad abusive life pre-sex work, so I don't get the connect. She also mentions that she wasn't told what the work involved with her first job in an agency, but this has been debunked on another site by an sp with a lot of experience, who said that in every mp or agency she worked in, the first thing they do is tell you what you are going to be doing, the rates to charge and safety. So based on that and many other things, you know this book is more about saying what she thinks people want to hear, not the truth.

 

As an sp and an employer, she was always very pro sex work on the forums, often defending herself and her practises lol. I believe she was also very manipulative and found ways to "encourage" young women into the work, as a few mentioned being her girlfriend and working in the biz, and she often placed personal ads in w4w, which to me sounds like someone aggressively procuring sps. As mentioned, she did have a few misunderstandings about the legalities, which I think means that something is legal if it benefited her, and illegal if it meant she could control the sps working with her. She was also found out to have an underage girl working in one of her "penthouses", which can only mean she didn't even bother to do an age check.

 

I mean, the majority of people don't do any of the things she did, even agencies and mps don't aggressively seek out civilians and try to get them into the trade. They post ads and interview women who know full well what is up even if it is simply that they place an ad in escort services with a 'hiring now" note on the ad.

[harmony-bc 319]

If anybody knows how destructive the world of prostitution is, then Burnaby resident Tania Fiolleau would know.

 

I'm definitely not saying her experience isn't valid, just heavily exaggerated and made up in parts. I'm going to go through this piece by piece and share my experience/what I know, and what I have seen first hand

 

Fiolleau was also in an abusive marriage. Having left that situation and living in a battered women's shelter, she discovered she didn't qualify for legal aid in the custody battle with the father of their two sons.

 

I think an abusive relationship, having too spend tons of money on a custody battle, and having your dreams shattered will definitely leave scars and make you bitter. Who's to say her ptsd, didn't come from that. Why blame sex work?

 

She saw an ad in the newspaper promising $1,500 a day in a fun, friendly and safe environment and applied, not knowing exactly what she was getting into.

 

"I was told it was erotic massage or a body slide" - she understood body slide to mean no more than rubbing her breasts on a client - but she found out differently the first time she had a client.

 

Every interview I've ever been to, they tell you exactly what is expected of you in the room. They're customers are more important than you. Why would they want to send a girl in there that may run out crying because she didn't know she might have to touch a penis? Also when she started it was all run on a tipping system. the owners wanted to make sure you didn't over charge by not knowing what to charge. Yes you may not quite know what to expect. I know I was quite nervous my first one. But I walked in, knowing that I had to give a hand release or more. Also her friend would have completely filled her in. That's what girls do.

 

Even as Fiolleau felt that what she was doing was wrong - "I would go home and scrub myself because I felt so dirty," she said - she couldn't turn down the big money that came with the job.

 

Possible. I have known a few girls that have felt this way, sometimes. I'm sure everybody on the planet has had a bad day at the office, lol Definitely not every time, though. Some guys are a lot of fun. My experience is most guys are genuinely just looking to have a good old fashioned romp. After you've been doing this long enough you get a very highly tuned radar to ween out the creeps.

 

"I was earning $1,700 per six-hour night shift," she said. "Once I learned how much I was making, I started working double shifts."

 

Why exaggerate? Most people would be impressed if you said $1000. Not everyone goes to parlors looking for sex. Places like Cleos, Platinum, Swedish touch, le mirage, mata hara's, all started at hand jobs and went up to full service. The average prices were 100 for a hand job, 200 for a blow job and 300 for sex. Some times you had to negotiate down to 80, 150, and 200. and then you tipped in all the places I mentioned the manager 20 [sometimes more]. So if every single guy came in and paid the most, it would equal out to 21 hand jobs in a day, 9 blow jobs or 6 full services. Sometimes you got a high roller that would just keep on giving you money, so you ended up with well over her 1700, but they were rare. 10 years ago, an average night was between 400 and 800. A great night was over a G. I don't work as hard as I did back then, so I honestly don't know what others are making on a regular basis today, which is why I said a few years ago.

 

Even as Fiolleau got advice from her co-workers, she didn't know how destructive the job was.

 

"I remember one girl telling me, when I asked her how she did it, she told me 'I'm a robot,' so that's what I did when I was with a client, I became a robot too," she said.

 

I know lots of girls that go through the motions and are robots. I've seen it first hand on outcalls, working for escort agencies. Come on, can you please at least pretend to smile, so we can stay longer? I've also witnessed lousy sales people in all forms of jobs, just going through the motions. Those girls often don't make as much money as the bubbly, happy girls. Same as any service job. Just the same as any job, some girls should be here, some shouldn't.

 

"I guess I thought that running a brothel was better than being an escort," she said. "I owned the business, I ran the business, and it was one big muddy puddle I was in."

 

 

Fiolleau also ran two top-secret penthouse brothels that catered to people wanting discreet encounters, which meant she was running four operations.

 

If you run the place ethically and responsibly for both the men and the women, I don't see the problem? The problem with most brothels in Vancouver is the ridiculous fines they have for girls and the outrageous fees, and the way they take the clients word over yours. These kind of things can make you feel powerless, and as a woman, who was raised by feminist hippies, I hate that feeling. The number one reason I went independent is because I don't want to be pimped. At the touch, this guy came in and picked me. I told the manager I didn't want to see him, she told me if I felt that way, I could pack my bags and go, that I wasn't allowed to pick and choose. I understand her point, but ick. I hated him in the first 10 seconds because he was overbearing, grabby, rude and he turned out to be really cheap. I think women who are starting out in this business need a friendly, safe environment to learn the ropes.

 

I worked at this one place, so long ago. the prices were all inclusive, so you didn't make as much per call, but she had no fines, and no hidden book on fees. You didn't have to tip anybody, or anything. She had the health nurses come in on a regular basis to explain about condoms, diseases, answer questions, etc. She invited vice to staff meetings to answer legal questions, and she had parties/staff meetings for the girls every few months. It wasn't a party for clients, just a party for the girls to show her appreciation. She also had contests. The girl that had the most calls that year got a trip for 2 to somewhere. The girl that turned over a new leaf and stopped getting complaints would get a 500 shopping certificate, etc. I didn't work there long, because I was used to more money at the time [only a month] then I went and danced in Niagara falls and had a blast. She used a rewards system and a camaraderie system to keep her girls in line, instead of a punishment and a fine system. Girls that were chronically irresponsible or bitchy were just given the least desirable shifts or fired. Her girls were the nicest and the most loyal of any I've seen.

The money was coming in fast and furious, which was sorely needed because her custody case dragged on for more than four years, and Fiolleau estimated it cost her more than $400,000.

 

At the end, Fiolleau promised the judge that if she won custody of her two boys, she would leave the business, and that's exactly what happened in 2002.

 

"I got custody, so I left the business," she said.

 

Good for you. I'm gald you are on the path to a happy and fulfilling life.

 

"I'd become Christian at this point, and God told me, you have to walk away from this ... and write a book and help save the women who are in prostitution," said Fiolleau.

 

Man, maybe you need a prescription for schizophrenia. Thats what most people need when they start hearing voices.

 

And that's what Fiolleau did, spending the next two years writing Souled Out!, which she finally completed in October 2010.

 

Good for you

 

In her book, Fiolleau tells of her experience in what she calls "a sick world, full of broken dreams and empty promises, battered, shattered, sexually abused women, men and children. ... (The sex industry) is causing alarming divorce rates, teen pregnancies, STDs-AIDS, drug usage, not to mention altered views of what sex really means."

 

Where do you get these statistics from? You're as crazy as most bible thumpers. just make up stuff to sell books?

 

Fiolleau said proceeds of the book don't go to her, but rather will go back into raising awareness and doing prevention for sexually exploited women and children and human traffic victims.

 

Really? That's good, but I doubt it You're going to try and make money to live, other wise you will be right back where you left

 

"Please do not judge these girls/men any longer that are in the sex industry. Know that most of them are being 'forced' to do it, physically or mentally, by manipulation of people around them.

 

I definitely know women that have had all the above happen to them, but weren't you also manipulated by your husband? It doesn't just happen in the sex trade and it not all sex trade workers.

 

"It could be your sister, your mother, your best friend's girl or even your daughter - and then think, is it all really worth the 'thrill' of self-gratification that lasts only a couple minutes? You are destroying lives of countless women while you do it - feeding the monster the sex industry has become. And now you are part of it too ... for there must be enablers to create victims.

 

blah blah blah. Why are you trying to take my power as a woman away from me? Please stop. I agree with staying away from kiddie stroll, but if someone is over 19 have at er.

 

"Be part of my campaign to help educate these women, clients and the public. If we can just save even one life, it was all worth it."

 

That's a lofty cause. I sincerely wish you luck in your endeavors. I just wish you didn't paint all sex workers with the same brush

 

I'm going to tackle her stupid stats in another post. This one is too stupid long as it is, lol