Incall or Outcall

[roamingguy 300292]

Meg's thread about phone numbers got me to thinking, from the vantage point of the lady's safety. Do the ladies prefer an outcall to a hotel or incall to their place.

It would seem to me (I may be wrong here) but the safest one for the ladies would be an outcall to the guy's hotel (after all it's his name on the registration)

I kinda like the outcall myself, getting ready for the encounter, wine chilling etc, and the anticipation of the knock on the door.

Some thoughts, both from the ladies and hobbiests

RG

[A***** A***** 510]

In call only here, for obvious reasons. Sure as hell won't go to any basement suite, in a area that is dominated by an ethnic majority (just isn't safe IMHO) Whole different ball game if I was in downtown Vancouver, or Ottawa

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Well you asked for input from hobbyists as well. So, I express my views which I strongly believe and stick to:

 

I prefer an outcall to the place of residence. There are many advantages to this, in my view.

 

1 - It is safe for the lady (obviously the gent will be careful as not only his identity but his full address is known too).

 

2 - I can set the environment to my liking. I like party-like environment with flashing light, large screen TV and bottle of red wine and a very bright bedroom and clean large comfortable bed.

 

3 - Love to treat ladies as guests and dates. Outcall to a hotel (or visiting a lady in a hotel) does NOT give me the having a "Date" feeling.

 

4 - I do get the opportunity from time to time to give a ride to the ladies I see back to their place or hotel and hence I spent more time with them (though in the car, but still....).

 

5 - Outcall to place of residence (your place of residence is NOT considered a common bawdy house) is totally legal so I will be relaxed and feel comfortable and in case of an extreme case (i.e. harassment or stalking) one can always call LE.

 

PS - Obviously this option is not open to those not single or in a relationship or live with family or GF.

As a nice gesture, the gent should cover the transportation cost for the visiting lady if not included (as some have same donation for outcall/incall).

[Cleo Catra 178382]

My personal preference is to host at my incall, however with outcalls I am much more comfortable with hotels. I have visited private homes as well, but with new clients there is a big risk there. With these requests, I ensure to speak/email the client quite a bit beforehand, to get a level of comfort, and there is always someone trusted who knows where I am and when I will be finished.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

1 - It is safe for the lady (obviously the gent will be careful as not only his identity but his full address is known too).

I don't agree with this at all. It is a well-known fact that incalls are safer for ladies for a number of reasons:

 

-The client could have concealed weapons in his home. In her own space, she can have her own (I personally keep pepper spray).

-The lady does not know the house setup or escape routes.

-She does not know if she's entering a home with more than one man waiting.

 

Remember that many providers don't feel comfortable calling the police in the case of assault. Even if outcalls are legal, there is still a huge stigma put on the shoulders of sex workers that makes it difficult for them to go to the police.

 

I will continue to stick to incalls! I take pride in my space setting it up nicely with candles, soft music, etc. and I think the gents like it as well :)

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Yes I agree with you Megan that in extreme cases outcall to place of residence is not safe, however, it is a fact that outcall to place of residence is legal and the lady has the opportunity to call the police in case of assault and the gent knows that. But yes it can happen in outcalls but also it can also happen with incalls as the wrong guy can always bring concealed weapons to the incall place too (except that most ladies may not call the police as incall is illegal. Also there is no driver watching out in incalls), though his pictures would be in the hotel cameras which is a detterant. Some places of residences have cameras too (mine included)

 

It is always safe (when meeting a gent for the first time) to have someone watching over (a driver, a friend) and I always advise this to the ladies that I see.

 

I have never had problems seeing any lady that I wished to see outcall (except those who are strickly incall only. i.e not having a driver), so your feeling may not be shared by many others. I do agree that visiting someone unknown for the first time in a drug infested areas of the city may not be safe.

 

As a final note it is a preference, a choice and a lady's (and gent's) right to choose what she or he feels safest. In my case not breaking the law is the most important factor in my consideration and I know it as a fact that the visiting lady will be 100% safe in my place and I have had many repeats, some coming alone, all by themselves and leaving with big smiles, asking for a call back, so I have no worries in that regard either.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

I don't agree with this at all. It is a well-known fact that incalls are safer for ladies for a number of reasons:

 

-The client could have concealed weapons in his home. In her own space' date=' she can have her own (I personally keep pepper spray).

-The lady does not know the house setup or escape routes.

-She does not know if she's entering a home with more than one man waiting.

[/quote']

 

Very good points. There's also the possibility of them having video equipment set up (I've known this to have happened to someone). These are risks in hotel rooms as well, but I feel to a much, much, lesser degree

[E.D. man 691]

The dwellers in my apt. building next to me are nosey and report everything and anything to the landlord whether its true or not. So for me and the lady its safer with an incall.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

the lady has the opportunity to call the police in case of assault

Just because you're doing incalls illegally doesn't mean you can't call the police. The point here, is what the ladies view as a viable option. Many ladies don't view calling the police to be a viable option whether it's incall or outcall.

 

You're right that a client could bring a concealed weapon to an incall, but it's obviously a lot easier to hide a weapon in your home than it is to hide it on your person.

 

Incalls are safer, it's a fact! From my understanding, this is part of the reason that the bawdy house laws were struck down.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Incalls are safer' date=' it's a fact! From my understanding, this is part of the reason that the bawdy house laws were struck down.[/quote']

 

Absolutely, if you feel that way, by all means limit yourself to incalls as you already have done so and many othes have. I was just responding to the OP from one of the hobbyists' point of view and my views are not words from bible and I could very well be wrong (I guess I was viewing outcalls from my own windows but never thought about concealed weapons or drug infested areas .....).

 

I think Bawdy house laws were struck down to protect SWs (as they could be doing incalls instead and would be safer) so, yes it is a lot safer compare to street action (not outcalls), but I could be wrong.

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

 

1 - It is safe for the lady (obviously the gent will be careful as not only his identity but his full address is known too).

 

I'm with Meg on this, the only issues I've had have been at a persons private residence. Many violent offenders prefer to work "in the home" as they have control of the environment and can reduce the risks of being caught. It's recommended that in case of an assault/abduction you never allow a predator to take you to a second location as they have likely secured the environment as best as they can, a large part of the reason sex workers are at risk is because they often willingly walk into a private and secluded area.

 

2 - I can set the environment to my liking. I like party-like environment with flashing light, large screen TV and bottle of red wine and a very bright bedroom and clean large comfortable bed.

 

You may also want to consider that setting the environment to your liking may not be to your companions liking, in doing so it's possible you will end up on the lower side of the YMMV. There have been many examples of this on the board, one lady mentioned she gets headaches from scented or paraffin candles - we all know the "not now I have a headache" reason - in this situation it's likely the date will continue but she's not likely to be happy/comfortable. I myself always encourage ladies to keep lighting low if visiting someone you do not know or trust, I once had a situation where a client attempted to videotape me without my knowledge and if the lighting had been low this would not have happened.

I personally believe it's not about setting the environment that one person likes best but about making sure both parties are comfortable and secure. If you are the host take the time to find out what your partner prefers and be flexible in your environment, you will always have a much better date if you take the time to create an environment your guest feels comfortable in.

[roamingguy 300292]

Just to add to the discussion, I do like the outcall. But for me, to a nice hotel (forgot cheap hotels/motels) And I do ask the lady if any preference to hotels

But I do have fond memories of some incalls

At the end of the day, it's got to be a location that both the lady and hobbiest feel safe and comfortable with

Thrown into the discussion for what it's worth

RG

[Capital Hunter 18263]

You may also want to consider that setting the environment to your liking may not be to your companions liking, in doing so it's possible you will end up on the lower side of the YMMV...

 

I personally believe it's not about setting the environment that one person likes best but about making sure both parties are comfortable and secure. If you are the host take the time to find out what your partner prefers and be flexible in your environment, you will always have a much better date if you take the time to create an environment your guest feels comfortable in.

 

I was responding about MY preferences (from hobbyist's point of view) in regards to incall versus outcall asked in the original post of the thread. Likely my answer may have been different if I was responding from a service provider's point of view. It is likely that I have very rarely ended up on the lower side of YMMV, even when I was seeing ladies from CL (I love variety) and the recent new sites, I have had a 90%+ hit and that is likely because of all preparations that I do for the incoming dates.

 

I don't wish to sound selfish as lady's preferences in environment is important to me too, however, I would question your suggestion of spending time (and likely exchanging many emails or PMs to find out what the lady likes) as I am not sure many ladies have time or wish many detailed exchanges for an hour of encounter (or what I consider a date). Your suggestion may apply to extended companionship focused types of dates (extending over several hours) which in my view are very rare but not sure in many other types of dates, a lady would like to invest lots of time to get the environment right to her liking for the hour long date.

 

As I mentioned my main criterion for choosing outcall over incall is the fact that outcalls are LEGAL and that is very important to me. And I have no worries about ladies' safety, at least not when they visit me. I have lost the chance to see a few ladies in the past because of my outcall-only restriction, however, this is a choice that I made to feel safe (legally and otherwise) and I plan to adhere to this policy strictly.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

From Judge Himel's ruling in the Ontario case (my bold):

[385] ....

I have found that

the safest way to conduct prostitution is generally in-call.

The bawdy-house provisions make this type of prostitution illegal.

Prostitutes can legally work out-call, which is not as safe,

particularly as

prostitutes are precluded by virtue of the living on the avails provision from forming certain "safety-enhancing" business relationships (such as hiring a driver or security guard).

 

[300]

The evidence

led on this application demonstrates on a balance of probabilities that the risk of violence towards prostitutes can be reduced, although not necessarily eliminated. The two factors that appear to affect the level of violence against prostitutes are location or venue of work and individual working conditions. With respect to venue, working indoors is generally safer than working on the streets.

Working independently from a fixed location (in-call) appears to be the safest way for a prostitute to work in Canada.

That said, working conditions can vary indoors, affecting the level of safety. For example,

working indoors at an escort agency (out-call) with poor management may be just as dangerous as working on the streets.

 

[338] In the report prepared for the House of Commons Subcommittee on Solicitation Laws, Dr. Maticka-Tyndale and her co-authors detailed

some risks of conducting legal out-call work:

it is difficult to assess the safety of a destination beforehand, the client may not be alone, exit routes may not be easily identifiable or accessible, and prostitutes may be filmed without their knowledge.

http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2010/2010onsc4264/2010onsc4264.html

[PistolPete 61421]

Has been and always will be in calls, the lady feels more comfortable in her own surroundings and has her safety measures in place and that is important to a woman.

 

I enjoy visiting at a lady's place, when I can escape away from work. May it be at her hotel room or her residence.

 

I have never felt "on edge or who else is there, or a trap"

 

In fact, those that offer in calls these ladies are more at ease while in their own environment,throughout the appointment from welcoming you in, to the end.

 

 

The ladies that advertise here or EC are always very professional, come highly regarded,and highly recommended.

 

I never ever had an issue over many years, so I tip my hat to those ladies that offer in calls, kudo's ladies! and thank-you. :)

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Gonna sound weird but my first consideration in this wasn't actually safety. It was more convenience. Hobby when I travel and my hotel room presented, to me, a convenient place for a lady to visit. Thus my first choice is outcall to my hotel. I would think that for most ladies this is a safer outcall than to a residence. However, after a few months at this and learning of the risks on everyone's part I can truly appreciate a lady feeling safer at her incall location. So even when I am travelling if I'm in a city visiting a touring lady the meeting will often take place in her hotel - although I do offer up my room too. (I'm waiting for the time where we are down the hall from each other). I've visited a couple ladies in their working residence incall location and felt comfortable. I stick with usually high end and highly reviewed calible ladies so never felt like I was heading into a set-up and unsafe. I could see it happening but I generally don't put myself in those situations - or not yet at least.

WC

[Guest al****s]

My personal preference is outcall only. I do not offer incall for a number of reasons. I am not cool with people knowing where I live. I like to keep my private life private and I don't want to fear unwelcomed or unexpected company. This is largely in part to do with my safety and that of my family. My home is my home and not my place of work. That separation is important to me.

 

I am fully aware and respect the ladies that feel the opposite and wouldn't change their incall situation for anything. To each their own.

 

When going to an outcall, I much prefer going to a nice hotel. I feel much safer in a hotel. If it is one of my regular friends, then I will consider their private home.

 

I love it when the man takes the time to "dress up" his outcall location. Makes me feel special and sets a nice tone for the date.

 

There is always one person who knows exactly where I am at all times and knows when to expect to hear from me when the date is over.

 

alexis...xoxo

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

My personal preference is outcall only. I do not offer incall for a number of reasons. I am not cool with people knowing where I live. I like to keep my private life private and I don't want to fear unwelcomed or unexpected company. This is largely in part to do with my safety and that of my family. My home is my home and not my place of work. That separation is important to me.

I'm on board with you. Nobody knows where I live. But I also do incalls only. Lots of ladies who do incalls don't work from their home.

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

I was responding about MY preferences (from hobbyist's point of view) in regards to incall versus outcall asked in the original post of the thread. Likely my answer may have been different if I was responding from a service provider's point of view. It is likely that I have very rarely ended up on the lower side of YMMV, even when I was seeing ladies from CL (I love variety) and the recent new sites, I have had a 90%+ hit and that is likely because of all preparations that I do for the incoming dates.

 

I don't wish to sound selfish as lady's preferences in environment is important to me too, however, I would question your suggestion of spending time (and likely exchanging many emails or PMs to find out what the lady likes) as I am not sure many ladies have time or wish many detailed exchanges for an hour of encounter (or what I consider a date). Your suggestion may apply to extended companionship focused types of dates (extending over several hours) which in my view are very rare but not sure in many other types of dates, a lady would like to invest lots of time to get the environment right to her liking for the hour long date.

 

As I mentioned my main criterion for choosing outcall over incall is the fact that outcalls are LEGAL and that is very important to me. And I have no worries about ladies' safety, at least not when they visit me. I have lost the chance to see a few ladies in the past because of my outcall-only restriction, however, this is a choice that I made to feel safe (legally and otherwise) and I plan to adhere to this policy strictly.

 

Understood, everyone has their own preferences and should operate within their own comfort level.

I only mentioned that setting the environment to your preferences can and sometimes will lead to a less enjoyable experience as some ladies are not equally comfortable in all situations just as an incall would make you uncomfortable. It goes both ways and applies to everyone, both the ladies and gentlemen should be aware of this.

It doesn't take a lot of communication to ask someone "Do you have any preferences as to accomodations, wine, food, etc." and pretty much every lady I know will appreciate being asked. This isn't always possible for agency represented companions but I do know that any agency that has represented me had a list of places I would or would not visit as well as basics on food, drink, etc. :)

 

I think a best of both worlds situation would have the person hosting (lady or client) go to certain efforts to ensure the person visiting them is comfortable and at home, often we all take some precautions and efforts without even thinking about it (ie. opening the wine in front of someone). I know when I entertain a guest I ask and review the basics and ensure they know what to expect before coming over (ie. hotel, condo entry, etc.) so they feel confident in their choice and if they don't then we can adjust as needed.

 

Alexiss I too am not comfortable hosting in my personal space, partially because I know my home may make several guests uncomfortable (pets, security for entry, etc.) but also because I find hotels to be "neutral" territory and I am currently only hosting in hotels. Most people know what to expect when visiting a hotel so for me in my current situation offering hotel incalls is an easy option - it certainly doesn't work for all ladies and situations.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Very interesting thread and educational too. Thanks Roamingguy for starting the thread.

 

I love it when the man takes the time to "dress up" his outcall location. Makes me feel special and sets a nice tone for the date.

 

I think that this feeling is shared by many others like yourself. Very often a very first comment that I hear when my guests enter my apartment (the first timers) is that "I have set up a very nice place ...." and they appear very happy...

 

Nobody knows where I live. But I also do incalls only. Lots of ladies who do incalls don't work from their home.

 

I considered this option (to get a private place exclusive for inviting guests) but found it very expensive. The best I could find was a furnished one bedroom (had to be for minimum two nights) at around $250 per weekend ($1000 per month) as when I started the hobby I was a bit paranoid about being stalked (happened a couple of times with dancers but never happened with escorts) and possible harassment/blackmail since at the time I didn't know about the legality of outcalls. Spending that much on renting' date=' not a lot of money would have left for hobbying lol!!.

 

I think a best of both worlds situation would have the person hosting (lady or client) go to certain efforts to ensure the person visiting them is comfortable and at home

 

I agree completely.

 

I think another advantage of outcall is that the lady can easily leave (or call her driver for help if in danger) if she finds the environment unsafe or feels not comfortable. This termination option (kicking the persistent or drunk or worse ..client out of incall location) may not be as easy, unless she has someone hiding in the closet or nearby (very rare, I guess).

 

It appears though that most responses are either for incall hotel or outcall hotel, or incall to a non-residence so far. I think that I have been so far the only one with strong preference for outcall place of residence but it was good to read a variety of responses as I always thought outcalls are safest for both sides. Not anymore.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

I agree completely. But I think another advantage of outcall is that the lady can easily leave if she finds the environment unsafe or feels not comfortable.

Try telling that to the ladies who've been held against their will, such as the lady who was raped last winter by Asad Noor-Saleh. It's not always that easy.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

such as the lady who was raped last winter by Asad Noor-Saleh. It's not always that easy.

 

Not sure about all the details of the case' date=' but if I recall correctly that was outcall to a hotel not place of residence. And she called the driver and the driver did not intervene!!!. It may have been a lot worse, God forbid, if it was incall as the beast may have been restrained by the fact that a driver was downstairs. [b']It was a wrong type of guy, not a wrong type of call which led to this tragedy[/b], in my view.

 

Try telling that to the ladies who've been held against their will...

 

I think you are right' date=' they are such cases but these unfortunate cases are NOT limited to outcalls. Likely some are incall cases too.

 

In my view ladies visiting outcall for the first time must always have someone on the watch (this is always my advice to the ladies that I see) and the driver should be more than a driver but also a bodyguard. I also advise them to join cerb and limit themselves to cerbites, and check the gent that they wish to see (his profile) and cross-reference the gent with other providers that he has seen. [b']There are always risks involved in any activity (especially in this industry) but one can try to minimize the risks by taking certain common sense precautions[/b].

 

As I mentioned iin my earlier post after reading this thread I am no longer a firm believer that outcalls are relatively safer than incalls, unless the lady knows the guy well. This thread was educational.

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

I mostly do incalls, either to my residence or to a hotel. I will do outcalls, but only to four and five-star hotels downtown or near the Vancouver airport.

 

Visitors to my residence will know, just from the part of town, that they're in a safe area and, when they're on my street, they can see that it's a very discreet location, yet not so hidden away as to raise the specter of risk for them, or for me.

 

When I go out, someone always knows where I am and when I expect to leave. If the date is going to be for several hours, I always call at agreed intervals. Someone also knows when I'm entertaining at home and when I expect a date to end.

 

SecretAdmirer, I appreciate the things you say about companions' safety, and I can understand your reasons for having your lady visit your residence. It's true that this is legal. What is not legal is for the companion to have a driver or security guard. In the event that someone has a problem at a client's home and needs to call her driver/guard, if things are dire or escalate, the driver/guard may be deemed to be living off the avails.

 

So, while an outcall to a client's home is technically legal, the additional security for the woman is not. For me, that's an imbalance that's not to my advantage.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

SecretAdmirer, I appreciate the things you say about companions' safety, and I can understand your reasons for having your lady visit your residence. It's true that this is legal. What is not legal is for the companion to have a driver or security guard. In the event that someone has a problem at a client's home and needs to call her driver/guard, if things are dire or escalate, the driver/guard may be deemed to be living off the avails.

 

So, while an outcall to a client's home is technically legal, the additional security for the woman is not. For me, that's an imbalance that's not to my advantage.

 

You are correct SamanthaEvans in this regard and this is one law that should be changed, however, it is not any more illegal than doing incalls. There may be a way around this one though. I am not a lawyer but I think that the bodyguard does not have to be a paid employee but rather a friend who may receive gift for her kindness. If you feel strongly against having a bodyguard then my advice is strongly against doing outcalls at all (hotels or place of residence) without someone watching over you for the reasons that Megan and others have said, unless you know the gent very well. My 2 cents.

[Seymour 3970]

Do the ladies prefer an outcall to a hotel or incall to their place.

 

Some thoughts, both from the ladies and hobbiests

RG

 

The responses will be as diverse as the respondents are diverse. There is what one would prefer and then there is reality. Reality suggests that most men have little time to get out for a date and thus the incall is more convenient. In the end reality (and economics is a part of that) wins.