Is This The Way It Is?

[r__d 12698]

Noticed a thread (in the Toronto SC section on another board) with this link to an article regarding how dancers "really feel about their clients".

 

https://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-j...their-clients/

 

As a poster notes, it's kind of "brutal".

 

Is it mostly like this from a dancer's point of view? Ouch.

[Gregsand 6116]

Got to take this kind of news story/article with a grain of salt as the goal was clearly to point out the negative aspects of the trade. With countless examples of bad behavior from patrons, abuse stories and the dark side of the sex industry, it wouldn't be hard to write several hundred bad quotes.

 

Many ladies made profitable careers out of it and not all managers and customers are aholes. It's not for everyone and requires a thick skin and certain social skills to be respected and focus on the positive of the job.

 

The person who used those quotes(likely out of context) got his 15 minutes of fame, let's not give him more attention than he deserved. And certainly not for such a lazy cry for attention.

[r__d 12698]

Got to take this kind of news story/article with a grain of salt as the goal was clearly to point out the negative aspects of the trade. With countless examples of bad behavior from patrons, abuse stories and the dark side of the sex industry, it wouldn't be hard to write several hundred bad quotes.

 

Many ladies made profitable careers out of it and not all managers and customers are aholes. It's not for everyone and requires a thick skin and certain social skills to be respected and focus on the positive of the job.

 

The person who used those quotes(likely out of context) got his 15 minutes of fame, let's not give him more attention than he deserved. And certainly not for such a lazy cry for attention.

 

Agree that this is at best a somewhat one-sided view of things, but it does make one consider the dynamic involved in the SC experience. I've always felt that treating dancers with a generous amount of respect initially and then simply avoiding those who were in any way disrespectful in return is the best approach.

 

Perhaps the transactional aspect of the whole thing renders what dancers "really think" largely irrelevant as long as they are overtly pleasant. I guess I just think that an underlying revulsion or disgust that is simply covered up is going to be difficult to sustain for dancer and client.

 

Of course, dancers will have personal, private opinions regarding the people they encounter in the club but I'd like to think that respectful, clean and reasonable clients would not be brutally "laughed at", but it may be that I am hopelessly naive in this regard. (I've only rarely felt that dancers were having a bit of fun at my expense, but no doubt this sort of thing will occur occasionally.)

[brentcrocker44 316]

It's not fair to assume that all dancers have the same attitude towards customers or men in general. Each dancer is an individual with her own attitude.

 

That said, there are a lot of dancers who have been treated very badly by one or more men in their private lives and there are plenty of customers at strip clubs who are disrespectful to dancers. Although it is not entirely fair, it is easy to understand how women who have been victimized by men could direct their anger towards men in general.

 

I think that through conversation and interaction in the CR it is pretty easy to tell whether a dancer likes you as a person or just sees you as a person that she can extract money from. Also, if she tries to overcharge for the number of dances, it is a pretty good indicator of her attitude, at least to you if not customers/men in general.

[Gregsand 6116]

Agree that this is at best a somewhat one-sided view of things, but it does make one consider the dynamic involved in the SC experience. I've always felt that treating dancers with a generous amount of respect initially and then simply avoiding those who were in any way disrespectful in return is the best approach.

 

Perhaps the transactional aspect of the whole thing renders what dancers "really think" largely irrelevant as long as they are overtly pleasant. I guess I just think that an underlying revulsion or disgust that is simply covered up is going to be difficult to sustain for dancer and client.

 

Of course, dancers will have personal, private opinions regarding the people they encounter in the club but I'd like to think that respectful, clean and reasonable clients would not be brutally "laughed at", but it may be that I am hopelessly naive in this regard. (I've only rarely felt that dancers were having a bit of fun at my expense, but no doubt this sort of thing will occur occasionally.)

 

There's good and bad in everything. The author didn't even try to put things in context or show a little objectivity. He likely asked 20 to 40 ladies to describe a typical or bad day on the job and only took the material that fit his narrative. It's a lazy way to demonize an industry.

[NotchJohnson 214129]

I feel bad for those ladies that say those things about their job. I was told a long time ago by a very smart man, "If you don't enjoy your work(job) quit and find something you enjoy doing". One important thing is loving what you do, money is not as important. Don't get me wrong nobody wants to work for minimum wage but if you go home after a day of work and you are happy about the service you did then you will be a happy person.

Helping old folks throughout their day, serving coffee at Tim's, waitress in a restaurant, etc are all great jobs if you enjoy doing it.

My point is if you hate being a stripper then stop doing that.

[Kilt Boy 29353]

My point is if you hate being a stripper then stop doing that.

There were definitely days that I hated my job, even days when I hated all of womankind. For me, at least, it was not a constant, oppressive feeling and the money made it easy to continue. Hanging on to those feelings and then dropping out to start working in a video store at minimum wage? No. I'll keep dancing for dollars, thank you.

 

It's not that difficult to have specific love/hate feelings about the object of your work. I'd say that everyone does it at some point.

 

I don't think it is the norm, but agree that some adult industry people probably do feel that way. You'll likely never know who.

[r__d 12698]

Think it's understandable that, as outlined in the bit cited by Ftn40 above, there will be times when disrespectful and loutish patrons at an SC who have no intention of visiting the CR will arouse negative attitudes for many dancers.

 

But I'd like to think that clean, respectful (and regular) club visitors will not be thought of too harshly by the ladies. As I've grown older (and uglier), I hope that my attitudes towards dancers I might have once thought shouldn't be dancing have softened as I've realized that there is room for many types and indeed there are many preferences in the SC world.

[Gregsand 6116]

From the start, ladies and patrons have different motivations. Dancers want to make the maximum amount of money while doing as little as possible, while men want the best bang for the buck in term of entertainment. Some women are better than other and will use their good social skills and personality to get what they want. While other will act more like "gold diggers" and look for the mythical roll of $100 bills in a gold money clip and completely ignore those who don't fit the bill. I don't think I need to say which technique offers a steady income.

 

To quote Harry S. Truman(33rd U.S. President): "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

Think it's understandable that, as outlined in the bit cited by Ftn40 above, there will be times when disrespectful and loutish patrons at an SC who have no intention of visiting the CR will arouse negative attitudes for many dancers.

 

But I'd like to think that clean, respectful (and regular) club visitors will not be thought of too harshly by the ladies. As I've grown older (and uglier), I hope that my attitudes towards dancers I might have once thought shouldn't be dancing have softened as I've realized that there is room for many types and indeed there are many preferences in the SC world.

 

 

I have never been a dancer. LOL, I would not last a night and I would be fired. I do not have what it takes to expose myself to potential criticism and all the negatives that come with this position. Nor do I have that special talent.

 

Reading that story today and listening to what other ladies say all boil's down to one thing. No matter if you are a dancer, SP or MA. Love and respect one another and also ensure in a SC whatever rules are in place are followed. I can't imagine being a dancer trying my best to show a good time and my rules are being broken. Really spoils the mood weather you are enjoying a 5 minute or 20 minute dance.

 

Once I was lucky enough to be taken to the Cotton Club in NL. It was an awesome time and my friend and I had a beautiful lady for private dances . It was perfect and I will never forget it . I am quite sure though if we broke her rules or make her feel bad in any way I would not have enjoyed myself half as much .

 

We can still have supreme enjoyment while respecting others.

[trucnar 191]

I feel bad for those ladies that say those things about their job. I was told a long time ago by a very smart man, "If you don't enjoy your work(job) quit and find something you enjoy doing". One important thing is loving what you do, money is not as important. Don't get me wrong nobody wants to work for minimum wage but if you go home after a day of work and you are happy about the service you did then you will be a happy person.

Helping old folks throughout their day, serving coffee at Tim's, waitress in a restaurant, etc are all great jobs if you enjoy doing it.

My point is if you hate being a stripper then stop doing that.

 

 

I totally agree with NotchJohnson, I did a job I hated for a year and a half before I could move to another position and wanted to shoot myself in the face every few days.

Better to enjoy all aspects of life instead of hating a third or half of it (depending if you count sleep).

You can also tell if dancers enjoy their job, it comes through in conversation and in the CR.