livenudecats 4072 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 I recently became aware that a lady I see regularly has increased her rates. I have been seeing her monthly for almost 3 years now and we always have a great time. My visits often go overtime (her choice not mine) and we often chat (phone/email/text) between visits. We definitely enjoy each other's company and she has told me on more than one occasion she looks forward to our visits. As I said I only became aware of her increased rates recently because I have not looked at her website in over 2 years. Much to my surprise I have been under paying by $50/hr for the past year or so. That said she has never brought it up with me or asked for more. I know the obvious answer is to just start paying her the new rate without her having to ask but I also think we have a good enough relationship that I if she wanted me to pay more, I am sure she would mention something. Years ago, I had an ATF who quite honestly told me she charged me a lower fee becasue she so enjoyed her time with me. She actually refused to take more (threw it back at me). I have heard of ladies "grandfathering" rates for preferred clients on other occasions. I would appreciate any advice on how to appropriately handle this matter and please be gentle. ;) Thank you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 If she never mentioned it, it's likely because she consider you a regular and want to keep it that way. If you feel like you're taking advantage of her, you can leave her a bigger tip. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blondenextdoor 1625 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 She is probably happy to have you as a regular client like Gregsand mentioned. I could see me doing something similar (I am new-ish, I am looking to raise rates in the future) - if I had a regular client that I really enjoyed seeing I would not (personally) charge them the difference in the higher rate. Maybe other ladies are different but it sounds like her and I have the same thought process in that respect. It is sweet of you though to think about it and ask for feedback, shows that you want to make sure you handle the situation appropriately. Good for you! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 I am going to stir the pot a bit if you are aware that her rate has changed and you enjoy your time with her than step up it will go far in her estimation of you. Some of us are too polite and secretly harbor a bit of animosity. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 I am going to stir the pot a bit if you are aware that her rate has changed and you enjoy your time with her than step up it will go far in her estimation of you. Some of us are too polite and secretly harbor a bit of animosity. I agree with you. If the question bothers him enough to create a thread about it, it's certainly worth discussing with her and modify the "preferential rate/arrangement" if a real problem for her. But as it was mentioned by livenudecats and Blondenextdoor, different rates for newcomers and regulars is not unusual. It's maybe just a question of making it official instead of an awkward and outdated arrangement. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Thr best way to create a mutually beneficial relationship (sexual or not) is honest conversation. Why are we, as a society so close minded? Just express what you want, say what you mean and if your intended cant deliver walk and check out someone more compatible. Why try to adapt to someone who doesnt meet your criteria. Psettling should not be an option! (In real life or in this life!). Convo folks...talk and listen; it actually works 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Thr best way to create a mutually beneficial relationship (sexual or not) is honest conversation. Why are we' date=' as a society so close minded? Just express what you want, say what you mean and if your intended cant deliver walk and check out someone more compatible. Why try to adapt to someone who doesnt meet your criteria. Psettling should not be an option! (In real life or in this life!). Convo folks...talk and listen; it actually works[/quote'] Not knowing the arrangement and overall relationship, it's a bit easy and unfair to criticize. When things go well people tend to avoid touchy subjects, and money is often a sticking point. If he doesn't want to raise the question, being more generous would be the best alternative. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Ummm may you please point out where i criticized? My whole poinr s that open and HONEST conversation makes for a great personal and/or economic relationship. Why is expressing/talking about thoughts and feelings such a taboo subject? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Ummm may you please point out where i criticized? My whole poinr s that open and HONEST conversation makes for a great personal and/or economic relationship. Why is expressing/talking about thoughts and feelings such a taboo subject? It's not really a taboo subject, but to maintain a status quo people would rather avoid a subject than risking an answer they wouldn't like. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Well i guess thats on them...why create drama that initiates sadness and dread. This isnt a situation where you going to spend a lifetime together. Its an hour or more so why not just get down to the nitty gritty? Ego can take a back seat for one encounter surely. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarmaKiss 10585 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 I agree with Meg on this one. Open and honest is best. And trust me she will appreciate you more because of it. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Well i guess thats on them...why create drama that initiates sadness and dread. This isnt a situation where you going to spend a lifetime together. Its an hour or more so why not just get down to the nitty gritty? Ego can take a back seat for one encounter surely. He's at least seeking online advices. I suppose that's one positive first step. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 He's at least seeking online advices. I suppose that's one positive first step. Yes...its amazingly wonderful and insightful! I appaud his caring nature for sure! I said i was going to stir the pot! My main objective is to express the fact that honest communication is of the utmost importance in any type of human interaction. Unfortunately it is a dying art! K all you cynics step on up! I got me some thcik skin and a whole lot of love and compassion (when not throwing my phone accross.the room) 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caterina 2255 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 You pay 50 for an hour AND go over time? You say that's her choice and that bothers me. Have you ever thought that she is too nice to be up front and end the session, or afraid of backlash, etc...? To me it sounds as though you are taking advantage of the situation. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 You pay 50 for an hour AND go over time? You say that's her choice and that bothers me. Have you ever thought that she is too nice to be up front and end the session, or afraid of backlash, etc...? To me it sounds as though you are taking advantage of the situation. That's not what he said. He said he's been seeing that woman for over two years and her rate has raised by 50$ since, but she never told him. He knows because he seen her more recent ad, but this was never addressed in person. He's simply asking advices as he's not sure she's giving him a preferential rate or if she's too afraid to ask him for more. Nobody is exploiting anyone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Never saw the word exploitation used Additional Comments: Never saw the word exploitation used Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caterina 2255 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 He DID say that Gregsand. He said he pays 50 per hour and that he always overstays the agreed upon time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 He DID say that Gregsand. He said he pays 50 per hour and that he always overstays the agreed upon time. His exact words :"I have been under paying by $50/hr for the past year or so." Additional Comments: Never saw the word exploitation used In my world, "taking advantage of the situation" and "exploitation"(presumably for $50 an hour) is pretty much the same. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caterina 2255 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 What are you arguing here? You just posted his exact words that HE PAYS 50/HR or under pays BY 50 an hour, he can clarify. I'll post his exact words too, "I often go overtime".... So he pays her 50/hr or under pays AND often goes overtime. My point was and still is, whether it's 50/hr or under pays BY 50/hr and often overstays, that he shouldn't even be asking for advice. Any of my regulars who overstay tip me well. If he respects her, I think he should know to pay the extra 50 ESPECIALLY if he overstays his visit. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 What are you arguing here? You just posted his exact words that HE PAYS 50/HR. I'll post his exact words too, "I often go overtime".... So he pays her 50/hr AND often goes overtime. He said he UNDER pays by $50 an hour. NOT pays. Please read his entire comments that very clear about that. When he started seeing her, her rate was $X. According to her recent ads, her rate is now $X+50 and he still pays $X. Understand? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caterina 2255 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 You are missing my point. Im bowing out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Wow....she said if he pays 50 or under pays 50. The amount is irrelevant. If you suddenly realize that you under paid your gardner; woohoo! How many people are honest enough to correct the shortfall that the shy, nice, maybe humble person who so kindly offered you a service...not a life changing necessity but a luxury. Such is our offering so i feel that we should not be burdened with having to chase down a dollar. Do your research, undertsand who you are meeting and the donation requirements. I mean come on, not asking for the freaking moon here. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livenudecats 4072 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Thank you all for your helpful and insightful advice. Just to be clear, I am not paying her $50/hr. It is substantially more than that. As for exploiting her, I usually book her (and pay her) for 2 hours but we do often go over on our visits and I am there for closer to 3. I bring wine and snack such as a fruit or cheese platter. I try to make a nice time of it for us both. I do overstay but usually at her request, not mine. We may be done our play but she cuddles up and we finish our wine and chat about our lives. Often this is followed by a accompanied shower to refresh ourselves. Thanks 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gregsand 6116 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Good. Case closed!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted March 28, 2018 Thank you all for your helpful and insightful advice.Just to be clear, i am currently paying her $250.00/hr and the rate I saw posted on her website is $300.00/hr As for exploiting her, I usually book her for 2 hours ($500.00) but we do often go over on our visits and I am there for closer to 3. I bring wine and snack such as a fruit or cheese platter. I try to make a nice time of it for us both. I do overstay but usually at her request, not mine. We may be done our play but she cuddles up and we finish our wine and chat about our lives. Often this is followed by a accompanied shower to refresh ourselves. Thanks You sound very respectful and i appreciate that you broughr this up. Perhaps a chat with her will satisfy your curiosity. No conversation is a bad conversation (and no....a fight is never a conversation) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
