Interesting Article on Review Board Culture

[KarmaKiss 10585]

I thought this was an interesting read From another Sp's Blog so I added the link here. I know I felt the same pressures as what this SP is talking about when I first started up again after 15 years of not doing this. I started without offering specific services that i now offer because of feeling this pressure. I think a lot of women new to the industry do feel this pressure as well as women that have been in the industry for a while now. I definitely think this lady has a very good point.

 

https://courtesanfashion.wordpress.com/2018/04/16/the-sex-industry-cannot-go-forward-by-repeating-the-mistakes-of-the-past/

[cat 262460]

This is a very good overview and I agree with all of it. Another aspect that I'd like to add to Sophia's words is the impact offering unsafe services has had on public opinion on the industry. The fact that uncovered services are promoted by providers and preferred by many clients has undermined support from the very people we need to vote for our industry legislation. Public support is key in getting our laws changed. The very idea of our indoor industry willingly providing unsafe services triggers the Righteous Mind of the square population and without their support at the polls, we will never get the decriminalization laws we need.

 

I remember heated conversations in the private SP area concerning this and all safe providers were vilified for standing their ground and calling out unsafe providers. The "I am woman hear me roar" mentality of providers who were ass kissing to reviewers adopted the mantra "I don't like how a condom tastes/feels in my mouth" as if that was up for discussion. Construction workers must wear steel toed boots and a hard hat. Drs and nurses must scrub in for surgeries, firemen wear oxygen tanks and fire retardant equipment. Safety is an inarguable labour right which sex workers who are financially unstable will forego and predatory, brain dead hobbyists know this. The thing about rights is people don't think too much about losing them until they need them. And funny enough, those vocal proponents of unsafe services have all pretty much disappeared. I'm not sure if the correlation can be made but I find it curious.

 

I'm well aware that we can't control what goes on behind closed doors but I believe that the review culture is the main factor in where our industry currently stands both in the US and Canada. Reviews and blatant service listing advertisements were used extensively to influence MP's into the passing of C36 and I believe helped pass FOSTA/SESTA. I hope the emergence of antibiotic resistant gonorrhea might help self correct this situation. Moving forward we need to readopt the safety standards and discretion of years past...

 

smiles, cat

[Phaedrus 209521]

I hope the emergence of antibiotic resistant gonorrhea might help self correct this situation.

It may reduce it, but it won't eliminate it entirely. BBFS has been a good way to catch nasty and incurable things for a long time now, and yet clients still ask for it and some people still provide it.

 

People just think, "It'll never happen to me!" which is fine, until they turn out to be wrong.

[waterat 20911]

Ah yes idiot risky behavior .... any other kids from the 60's out there? Shel Silverstein and Dr. Hook:

[Helena D'Orville 33237]

"Review board culture has to end."

 

 

Absolutely. I have decided not to give one more penny to any review board for advertising. I'm appalled by the conversations going on there. Why would I pay to be talked about like a piece of meat? We, providers, should stop advertising there, because if we pay, we support that. But unfortunately, this will probably not happen.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Thank you karmakiss for sharing that! I also just posted a comment there on her blog.

 

Many people ask me why I am no longer a GFE provider. Many speculate and I am sure there are many wild imaginations out there. But the truth is,

I just no longer could be apart of that ever changing landscape.

Went from being all things covered mind of girl. To then some things uncovered, then I was competeting with even more risky behavours! Till one day I was confused on where the lines are drawn! When does my health and safety count? Where does GFE end and PSE begin???

 

I dropped all escorting service and entered into my massage service. I work harder, make less and I am ok with that! I now have lovely clients who truly visit for my skill sets, and they 100% respect my boudries.

 

And by all means, I am NOT saying ladies who choose to PSE etc are doing something wrong or whatever, BUT we providers should be able to comfortably CHOOSE our services and not be bullied and pressured into providing services ONLY because we are scared about a review. If thats the case I would implement a strict do not review policy. Which I know even that would be tricky to even have controll over! Grr lol.

[Jabba 18389]

I loved the article; inciteful and opinionated.

I really appreciate the thesis. Well presented, informed and forthright.

 

If I understand correctly, the author advocates banning (and I paraphrase) review boards entirely.

 

She equates the review boards with a mentality that has:

 

- Increased pressure to offer BB service

- Diminished respect for workers as a whole

- Encouraged a dehumanizing effect through rating system

- Escalated disrespect for people

- Escalated disrespect for boundaries

- Escalated demands on services and rate competition

- Dis-empowered worker rights and protections

- Encouraged disrespect for treating the industry as a business

- Driven a generally coercive behaviour toward providers

 

Do I agree with her?

Let's just say that as a reviewer on another board, it gives me points to ponder. I will examine my own behaviours. I get it and I'm grateful.

 

I think the blog also reveals a dark side of media (review boards) and, human nature. Reviewers can hide behind relative anonymity to trash reputations and heap abuse. While that, I believe is the exception to the rule - it's also that perverted 10% that overwhelms the respectful majority. In this way, while media serves the income generating needs of the industry, it also bites the hand that feeds it - injuring the humanity and safety of service providers. I speak in black & white terms - there are other arguments too.

 

Question - do you believe review boards are the source of the problem or they merely a reflection of something deeper?

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

Question - do you believe review boards are the source of the problem or they merely a reflection of something deeper?

 

Hi :) I love this question! I started this smack in the middle of the year of anarchy (when old laws were suspended and new laws yet to be made)

 

Of course review boards are the source of the problem!! The boards have a wide reach, they can influence the readers and since the alphas on the boards demand respect, many readers will do everything they can to appease so they can accepted. The problem comes when readers cannot think on their own and buy into the long held (sometimes erroneous) beliefs that these boards have propagated, all in the name of saving some poor soul from some bad girl. Even lots SW have bought into it.

 

The original reason/excuse for the existence of reviews boards has morphed into a place were males (only males who are willing to be part of this world) can partake in locker room talk, share their methods on how to get the girl, and trash talk their last 'mate' with no consequences. Geez it may not even be true, but for males it is what they are socialized to do. It's a night out with guys at the strip club. Men being boys ;)

 

When a group gets together in real life, and trades barbs and 'bull' stories, it stays within the group. Whether everyone in group believes it to be fact or fiction remains to be seen but they can leave and don't basically stay to be 'brainwashed' to think what everyone else in the group is thinking.

 

When a large group gets together on the internet, and trades barbs and 'bull' stories, it stays around for less knowledgeable people to believe. And can influence them and their thought process and beliefs. Also males can compartmentalize this industry as it not real life for them but just a portion that can be turned on and off as it fits or doesn't fit into their lives. And the females (etc) for them, truly do not exist outside of their thoughts. So because of the atmosphere of review boards, it brings out the side of males that females usually don't want to see or know about.

 

That side can show itself when meeting a SW and depending on the person (client) can manifest itself in any number of ways. That side can be present when males want to be part of a group.

 

So, yes, they are the source of the problem. If they didn't exist then males would not be confident asking for things they shouldn't be asking for all because they read about it, a million times, from many anonymous men on the internet. It has set a norm and has created pressure because if a girl doesn't do what males on a review board have decided what should be included, then she will feel it from not getting enough business (that tells guys to punish the word "will" by not patronizing her)... or my favourite : "She shouldn't be in this industry and should find another career." That it just laughable.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Question - do you believe review boards are the source of the problem or they merely a reflection of something deeper?

 

The problem with the review boards is that the people on them are... people. And people are often assholes. This is especially true when they can hide behind pseudonyms, and believe that their horrible behaviour can't or won't have consequences on their lives.

 

This isn't by any means unique to review boards. Look at the nastier ends of Twitter, or Reddit, where things can get just as bad. If that doesn't convince you, hang out on 4chan for a bit.

[Kilt Boy 29353]

If that doesn't convince you, hang out on 4chan for a bit.

I was going to add that if you hadn't!

[Hukupp 1651]

That is an exceptionally well written article. Agree with it wholeheartedly. For the bulk of my time here from my beginning, I was afraid to give my thoughts on certain matters and stuck with my true playful self. Now, from time to time, I call people on their bs, high horse, trolling, looking for attention and numerous others ill advised board behaviours.  High post count within a certain period or status means nothing to me. It’s the understanding of a situation that matters. People always use each other as a ladder rung to climb higher.  I’ve done two things lately that have had quite an affect for myself and some Lyla friends. The first, open up a browser and type in erotic or sensual massage Ottawa or Gatineau. This is just one example and yes it relates to me but one can reflect their own situation for what they are looking for and location.  Maybe the options out there are why I decided to go from being almost my real self to almost fully my real self. Although I love it, Lyla is just one thin slice of a world of options out there.  Secondly, I decided to open up Ottawa recommendations and sort by review count or whatever the wording may be. It cannot possibly be coincidence that out of the first few pages of people listed that almost none of them get involved in argumentative threads. To me this speaks volumes about review board culture and it’s effects.  Anyway, I’m greatful for the help I receive and the ability to help others. Always play safe.

[Guest]

  With the anonymity of message boards and the search for attention, too many tend to share too much or just make things up.

 Some things are better left in the bedroom and mostly when it involves "extra mileage". Good chemistry and special circumstances can make people do foolish things. Those should be considered for what they are and not as normal expectations. If you got more bang for the buck, just keep it for yourself. Reviews don't need to be detailed play-by-plays and certainly not used to brag about extra innings rarely part of the package.

  Many ladies either request not be reviewed/discussed or to at least demand a certain control of what's said about them. And when we read some comments and reviews, it's quite understandable. Doesn't matter if a review is negative or overly enthusiastic, both can be damaging if it misrepresent the typical experience.

  Message boards are there to stay and some misleading voices will sadly remain. But if we look at the big picture instead of listening to the rogue voice, we can get a better idea of the reality.

  

[Hukupp 1651]

Sadly, this $$$ per act culture is front and centre, especially with newbies. Some people hate reading and following rules but then are the first to cry when something goes wrong.  It gets tiresome, especially on PMs to consistently tell somebody to not ask about specific acts or acts as they relate to $$$. I have a good handful of guys who write generally like myself when writing about massage. You guys know who you are. The only time I want to read or give details about $$$ is wrt to time i.e “great half hour indy massage for $100. Time well spent with a playful easy going lady” or “quite the robotic experience, your call if you still  want to see her”.  Something along those lines helps everyone.