Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted July 18, 2011 Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then? The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king. Large Man with Dead Body: Why? The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted July 18, 2011 Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground. God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest E*******h S******s Report post Posted July 18, 2011 "It was the salmon." "Aw, c'mon, let's go to the stoning" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BarrhavenWoody 10776 Report post Posted July 18, 2011 I want to be a lion tamer. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jazzitup 5652 Report post Posted July 31, 2011 Dinsdale was a gentleman, and what's more, he knew how to treat a female impersonator. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted August 1, 2011 My favourite: Oh Bloody Hell! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 1, 2011 Your wife, is she a goer? Does she go? Eh? Know what I mean..nudge nudge wink wink.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 3, 2011 This is the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand. Strah-ya! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EvaAdore 7767 Report post Posted August 3, 2011 Can I have your liver, please? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JuliasUndies 7288 Report post Posted August 4, 2011 Have you got one [a condom]? Well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high, and say in a loud steady voice: 'Harry I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baileydog 9367 Report post Posted August 4, 2011 every line they wrote is great and brings back fond memories of times gone by (too long gone by) but my favourite line is "I'm not dead yet" and my favourite song is "Always look on the bright side of life" http://www.montypython.net/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jennigurl27 120 Report post Posted August 4, 2011 there are some who call me...........................Tim.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 4, 2011 Cardinal Fang, give the (w)rack a turn! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Soleil Sublime 38108 Report post Posted August 5, 2011 Care for a mint Sir? It's wafer thin! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quituple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quituple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose. "Crrrunchy frrrog?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted August 6, 2011 "Crrrunchy frrrog?" I must warn you that in future you should delete the words 'crunchy frog', and replace them with the legend, 'crunchy raw unboned real dead frog' if you want to avoid prosecution. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kate von Katz 49953 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 ..... and that, my liege, is why the world is banana shaped. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slammer 303 Report post Posted August 7, 2011 You certainly didn't imagine it, else I imagined the same skit. I also only got an audio rendition so I'm not certain if it ever included a visual with it. My favourite line might well be the french forces from Holy Grail ever so calmly stating: "Fecher la vache." Which is promptly followed by the sound of a catapault and a moo... Well , you were lucky! That was luxury. We used to get up in the morning at 10 at night- which was half an hour before we went to bed- eat a hunk of dry poison-work 29 hours a day at the mill and when we got home our parents would kill us and dance around our grave singing "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah" part of the skit "the Liars" The whole thing has me rolling on the floor.I never saw the skit, only heard it once one th radio; never talked to anyone that ever heard of it ; but I don't think I imagined it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 12, 2011 I don't have to do this kind of work, you know. I could've been a brain surgeon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kate von Katz 49953 Report post Posted August 12, 2011 And get the machine that goes *ping* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 12, 2011 New Bruce, are you a poofter? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 12, 2011 Still laugh at this one, don't drink anything while watching :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K8_jgiNqUc RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted August 13, 2011 As sung by Noel Coward in the "Meaning of Life" Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? / Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? / It's swell to have a stiffy. / It's divine to own a dick, / From the tiniest little tadger / To the world's biggest prick. / So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas. / Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake, / Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend, / Your Percy, or your cock. / You can wrap it up in ribbons. / You can slip it in your sock, / But don't take it out in public, / Or they will stick you in the dock, / And you won't come back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jazzitup 5652 Report post Posted August 13, 2011 He [Doug] used sarcasm. He [Doug] knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
