How to handle the passive lover?

[Loralee Reach 245]

Sometimes is a female...other times is a male; they just lie there doing nothing "interesting"....either they expect the other to do it all or just are not interested in a tumble-rumble.

We all have had one of those partners.

As an SP I got my share of "variety" and every men is different....some are very active, -won't make names, promise!!- and they rock your world in such a way that when they leave one almost cries out for them to be right back; others, are very tender and semi active; they are not timid, just quiet and it takes a number of visits for them to really get the full male out of themselves and give it to the partner, but they eventually and most certainly do. In every visit is a little more openness, more trust, less inhibitions.

The third group are the "I am here...adore me". Even with lots of encouragement they wont do as much as they could do. They do not change.

With women is the same thing; the ones who give and give with an incredible energy and lust ( many, many ladies at CERB in that category)with a passion for life and the man in question, be it a husband, a night stand or a client.

The ones who just "respond" and do not initiate but get more confident with the "going", and, as with the gentlemen, the "I am here, adore me"

Why do you think this happens?

First encounters are more or less understandable. Even seconds, but all the time?

I must say I got and still get "timid" with one particular gentlemen. It never happened to me with anyone else in my private life or as an SP...it did to you?

The world of SP's is not the only sphere I am talking about. I guess if a client goes to an unresponsive Provider chances are he wont go back unless deep emotional ties have been formed in some way. I don't really know.

Let's us know what as a woman and as a man gets you down or totally up in your sex encounters.

I just did.

loralee:wink:

[cat 262460]

I find a taser helps in these situations...

cat

[teched 418]

I find a taser helps in these situations...

 

cat

 

What about a finger to the prostate. That will get some kind of reaction.

 

(this discussion made me think of that episode of A Secret Diary of a Call Girl)

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

Some people give such mixed messages at times that it's very hard to know what to do. In early December, a new client checked with me several times about what my GFE included. He wanted to be very sure that I was open to kissing, cuddling and all of that. I met him at his hotel. He seemed very pleased to see me. We got along very well, chatting and so on for about 10 minutes. But every time I touched him, he didn't respond. Every non-verbal message I got from him was that he didn't want to go through with the date. I finally asked him if he was comfortable, and he said he was, telling me how lovely I am, etc. But he did nothing when I was straddling his lap and unbuttoning his shirt. Nothing when I moved to kneel on the floor and unbuckle his belt, etc. He smiled and stayed almost stone still. It was extremely frustrating for me to get no feedback. I suggested we go to bed, and even there, he just lay still. He got hard and stayed that way. I got on top of him.... It seemed like a test, whether of himself or of me, I'm still uncertain. When I left, he was warm, friendly, said he wanted to see me again in the spring, and he tucked $50 into my coat pocket. I was stymied. A tip, for what? He got off, but I felt rejected the whole time and that's not something I need to go through.

 

I have had men visit me who didn't want to have to spend much time or attention on what might give me pleasure. I think that one of the reasons they wanted to see an escort was that they don't have to pay attention to what we might like. They've paid for my time and everything else is solely for their benefit. Okay. I can understand that. I don't need to feel sexually fulfilled every time. However, I don't enjoy these encounters and I don't encourage the clients to return to see me again.

 

I usually struggle with blaming myself for these encounters. I'm a strong woman. I'm pretty forthright and assertive. But I'm not naturally dominant in bed. I can take charge, but my preference is to be an equal, including a submissive equal. If the person really seemed nervous or inexperienced, I could work with that. But when they just seem detached and disassociated, that's something very different to me.

[Luscious Laurel 205]

Oh, Samantha, I have had the same experience. Sometimes I am thinking during the silence "he must really not like me and must be having an awful time and maybe he is trying his best to get through this"

 

Then at the end of the session out pops a tip and a sweet kiss, and, a follow up within the week. Usually the sessions get more relaxed and I am rewarded with some naughty words of encouragement.

 

I think some men are very, very shy and I have been told that I am a sort of charismatic strong willed seeming person. I personally don't feel like that but maybe that is what makes shy men close up.

 

It does make it difficult to find the words during the session. I am afraid to use naughty talk in case I scare them to death, but, I think the naughty talk is what they need! And a good spank!

[Guest tr*****e]

I think some men are very, very shy and I have been told that I am a sort of charismatic strong willed seeming person. I personally don't feel like that but maybe that is what makes shy men close up.

 

It does make it difficult to find the words during the session. I am afraid to use naughty talk in case I scare them to death, but, I think the naughty talk is what they need! And a good spank!

 

I can be a very shy person in anything, but in bed I find myself thinking too much(distracting!) about what I thought I would feel like, and I think I'm not alone in that. Yes, shy men open up, some faster than others, and sometimes it feels very reassuring to have the woman take us by the hand, so to speak. I've felt very much like the guy SamathaEvans describes, but you have to think about the fact that he might have felt very badly about it, too, but was too shy to communicate that(of course, I only speak from personal experience here). I don't know about other men, but I wouldn't feel hurt if an sp gave me some(not-so-subtle) hints as to what I might do to make the experience mutually pleasurable, but perhaps not all hobbyists are so prepared to expose themselves to that criticism(remember that this is something men can feel REALLY poorly about). I don't know if that's taken as a given among sp's, but that's my two cents anyways.

[namssa 562]

I kind of have the opposite problem, sometimes it is difficult to get the SP to tell something they like.

 

For me, it is about the "experience", not the act itself. I want the session to seem as natural as possible. Sure I like to be pleased and indeed I like the attention. A big part of the experience for me is to try to ensure the SP is having a good time as well. I ask what they like, what I might do to please them and I can't get a straight answer. They say they are here to please me. That is fine, but part of my pleasure is to give her pleasure and that is sometimes difficult to do and some hints would be nice. I love the feeling of being able to give a woman an orgasm but to find one to give me an answer other than "here to please you" is not that easy.

 

Whew, pooning is hard work!

 

 

I have had men visit me who didn't want to have to spend much time or attention on what might give me pleasure. I think that one of the reasons they wanted to see an escort was that they don't have to pay attention to what we might like. They've paid for my time and everything else is solely for their benefit. Okay. I can understand that. I don't need to feel sexually fulfilled every time. However, I don't enjoy these encounters and I don't encourage the clients to return to see me again.