For Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

[roamingguy 300292]

[B]1. A bicycle canâ??t stand alone; it is two tired.
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]2. A will is a dead giveaway.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]4. A backward poet writes inverse.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]8. You are stuck with your debt if you canâ??t budge it.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]9. He broke into song because he couldnâ??t find the key.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]10. A calendarâ??s days are numbered.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]15. When youâ??ve seen one shopping center youâ??ve seen a mall.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought sheâ??d dye.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]18. Santaâ??s helpers are subordinate clauses.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]21. The roundest knight at king Arthurâ??s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]25. No matter how much you push the envelope, itâ??ll still be stationery.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: â??Keep off the Grass.â??[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.[/FONT]
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said â??No change yet.â??
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]34. Donâ??t join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.[/FONT][/B]