Areez 11906 Report post Posted February 28, 2011 SA, Great input .. I completely understand the 1st point you mention and there was never a hard feeling on that one... but on 2 night in a row ;P i barely even sit down hahaha and apparently these two aint taking no for an answer and just kept bugging me... the second night i just went up and left. Additional Comments: Thanks for the input everyone, Megan: From reading all your post i impressed! great attitude and understanding because of your effort in looking at the situation in both perspective. and i love the comment about giving a guy time to get a beer! SA: some very nice points you made thanks! just a note though, _i_ usually spend enough time in the CR room, be it with one or more dancers troughout the night.. and believe me i am not that picky (even though i mention in the 1st post i would like to be picky) but I think a guy deserve a break too sometimes... i go to SC mostly alone, when i just want to hang out and have a beer to myself... ill try to use the pointers above next time Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hornee69 4851 Report post Posted February 28, 2011 I usually just say, I just arrived, give me a chance, maybe later. It is honest & to the point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest mpdvg Report post Posted February 28, 2011 It is good to know that you are so open minded about being turned away but not everyone is like that. There has been days when I used to go to SC and unlike these days I wasn't able to grant everyone at least one dance because of financial difficulties those days. So I did used to turn away as politely as I could (mostly in Montreal and also one specific club in NCR) and YES in a few cases (not all, clearly a very small percentage and in overwhelming majority of cases the ladies are wonderful but still not all...) the dancer was offended. In two separate cases in the one club at NRC, (when I said I am waiting for my specific girl) the dancer left at anger, yelling and cursing.... So as I said great for you Megan being so understanding but this understanding sense is not by any means universal and this comes out of my personal experience. And my SC experience extends over a dozen years. Are you for real? Dude, you're in a strip club. You're there spending your hard earned money on a fantasy and you're there to enjoy YOURSELF. You're not there to worry if you're offending a dancer by turning them down. You're not breaking up with a girlfriend here...I mean, yes, you are dealing with a human being, and certainly a little tact is appropriate. Be polite in turning her down. But if she doesn't like it...who gives a shit how she replies? If you go to a restaurant, would you let your waiter force you to order more food and drinks than you want, just because you're worried they could potentially be a single parent who really needs a bigger tip? Why are you even thinking about that stuff in a strip club. I'm no jerk, but again, when you enter the rippers, please, withhold reality and have a good time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Megan'sTouch 23875 Report post Posted March 1, 2011 Are you for real? Dude, you're in a strip club. You're there spending your hard earned money on a fantasy and you're there to enjoy YOURSELF. You're not there to worry if you're offending a dancer by turning them down. You're not breaking up with a girlfriend here...I mean, yes, you are dealing with a human being, and certainly a little tact is appropriate. Be polite in turning her down. But if she doesn't like it...who gives a shit how she replies? If you go to a restaurant, would you let your waiter force you to order more food and drinks than you want, just because you're worried they could potentially be a single parent who really needs a bigger tip? Why are you even thinking about that stuff in a strip club. I'm no jerk, but again, when you enter the rippers, please, withhold reality and have a good time. I agree with you. Working as a dancer, I was there operating my own business, I wasn't there begging on the streets or asking for charity hand outs. If you don't like me, don't buy a dance. Simple as that! There were plenty of men more than willing to pay and I won't be hurting if you say no. Sympathy dances are just insulting! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Bri*****e Da**** Report post Posted March 1, 2011 You're there spending your hard earned money on a fantasy and you're there to enjoy YOURSELF. Sympathy dances are just insulting! x2 on both these comments. I enjoy what I do, and I enjoy it even more when it's enjoyed by the gentleman I'm dancing for. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted March 1, 2011 Are you for real? Dude, you're in a strip club. You're there spending your hard earned money on a fantasy and you're there to enjoy YOURSELF. You're not there to worry if you're offending a dancer by turning them down. You're not breaking up with a girlfriend here...I mean, yes, you are dealing with a human being, and certainly a little tact is appropriate. Be polite in turning her down. But if she doesn't like it...who gives a shit how she replies? If you go to a restaurant, would you let your waiter force you to order more food and drinks than you want, just because you're worried they could potentially be a single parent who really needs a bigger tip? Why are you even thinking about that stuff in a strip club. I'm no jerk, but again, when you enter the rippers, please, withhold reality and have a good time. Sheesh ... you are being a little harsh on SA ... I'd drop the personal comments. I dont disagree with much of what you are saying, but I can never leave reality behind, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest mpdvg Report post Posted March 1, 2011 Sheesh ... you are being a little harsh on SA ... I'd drop the personal comments. I dont disagree with much of what you are saying, but I can never leave reality behind, What personal comments? I'm sure SA is a big boy and can speak for himself. I'm just respectfully challenging his viewpoints. You guys seem to need more of that around here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
April Dawn 12207 Report post Posted March 1, 2011 What personal comments? I'm sure SA is a big boy and can speak for himself. I'm just respectfully challenging his viewpoints. You guys seem to need more of that around here. This forum is more about friendliness and positivity then S&*t disturbing for the fun of it. There is a difference between respect and calling out. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted March 1, 2011 I don't frequent the SCs much anymore but when I do I usually have a one drink rule. I sit down and order and drink and don't get a dance until I've finished the first drink. That gives me about a half hour to get the lay of the land and see most of the girls who are working at that time. I know what type of girl I like so it really gives me a chance to get a feel for which one(s) I might like a dance from. Sometimes a girl will come over during that first drink and I'll tell her straight up but she'll stay anyway for the conversation...that's fun too and sometimes if I like her I'll take her a little later for a dance. It's probably good business on her part to make a connection...a little strategic planning. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capital Hunter 18263 Report post Posted March 1, 2011 (edited) Are you for real? Dude, you're in a strip club. You're there spending your hard earned money on a fantasy and you're there to enjoy YOURSELF. You're not there to worry if you're offending a dancer by turning them down. You're not breaking up with a girlfriend here...I mean, yes, you are dealing with a human being, and certainly a little tact is appropriate. Be polite in turning her down. But if she doesn't like it...who gives a shit how she replies? If you go to a restaurant, would you let your waiter force you to order more food and drinks than you want, just because you're worried they could potentially be a single parent who really needs a bigger tip? Why are you even thinking about that stuff in a strip club. I'm no jerk, but again, when you enter the rippers, please, withhold reality and have a good time. As April said it so well, This forum is about friendship and positivity, sharing info and seeking advice (and I4fun asked for our input and I responded to his post which was intended for him and he gracefully welcomed my comments and if you disagreed with my comments you could have made your own alternative suggestions instead of calling out which is clearly against the spirits 0f this board) therefore I refrain from making any further comments or further respond to your personal comments as your comments speak for themselves (which btw was your first post in a year and a half of membership here!!!). Edited March 2, 2011 by S*****t Ad*****r Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curious2 323 Report post Posted March 1, 2011 ...on how to say "no" :) (actually I'm horrible at it, probably one of the worst), I'd say my top 3 "techniques" for avoiding clearly saying no: 1) say I'm waiting for a regular 2) ordering food 3) bring extra $20's to get single dances Sympathy dances are just insulting! I must admit I've used that technique a bunch of times (see #3 above!). It works, especially for the girls who give you the "I'm not making any money at all, this is my first dance all night" speech. Of course, I've had it backfire on me too--at Pigales, where it's a long way down the stairs to the champagne rooms, when a dancer got mad because I just took her down for just one dance! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cool_De_La 100 Report post Posted March 1, 2011 3) bring extra $20's to get single dances But that's a 20$ you could have spent of the girl you really wanted! Honesty is the best recipe I find. The girls can handle rejection, its part of their job. If they can't, they should just wait for the customers to approach them for dances. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hornee69 4851 Report post Posted March 1, 2011 I agree with you. Working as a dancer' date=' I was there operating my own business, I wasn't there begging on the streets or asking for charity hand outs. If you don't like me, don't buy a dance. Simple as that! There were plenty of men more than willing to pay and I won't be hurting if you say no. Sympathy dances are just insulting![/quote'] Does a sympathy dance include tears? When I offer sympathy i like to cry! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peachka 4334 Report post Posted March 1, 2011 Reminds me of the old line "If you want sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary, between shit & syphilis!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LJCC 100 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 I have found the best approach is to just say politely yet firmly 'I am waiting for someone'. While I initially stuck with a simple 'no thank you' I found many dancers would take that as a challenge and try to change my mind by asking for reasons or offering extras - neither of which would end up changing my mind. I recall one time in Toronto, a dancer sat on my lap (uninvited) looked into my eyes, grabbed my tie and then stood up pulling me out of my chair and said 'You're coming to the champagne room with me'. While I like an assertive woman, I like a little more class and she wasn't my type, so I declined and she became quite aggressive demanding an explanation. Not a great experience. By indicating I am waiting for someone before the dancer sits down, it makes it clear I am not interested and doesn't waste her time. There appears to be a code that dancers are typically respectful of one another's clients. I think this is the most fair and polite approach for the dancer. I don't enjoy rejecting anyone and can appreciate it's a tough gig with lots of rejection. Ultimately, we both have limited resources (money/time) so I don't want to waste her time (or my time) and cost her other opportunities if I have no intention of taking dances. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Areez 11906 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 play nice now... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 What personal comments? I'm sure SA is a big boy and can speak for himself. I'm just respectfully challenging his viewpoints. You guys seem to need more of that around here. In my opinion, you are being disrespectful when you ask SA if he is "for real." SA is very much "for real" and he has shared a lot of himself on this board. And he can speak for himself, but he has a lot of friends here who are willing to speak up as well. Again, I dont disagree with much of what you are saying (some of it is a bit refreshing), but coming on here and doing that on your first post isn't very ... well ... polite, and that's what this board is about IMO. That being said, hope you contribute more often going forward and best wishes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hornee69 4851 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 Now I need to get my fxxxing dictionary to check this out, shit I hate these type of quotes. lol Reminds me of the old line "If you want sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary, between shit & syphilis!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peachka 4334 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 Now I need to get my fxxxing dictionary to check this out, shit I hate these type of quotes. lol It's an old saying that is still used, though it really doesn't have anything to do with the thread. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tiffany Amber 7031 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 Bridgette_Dances - I agree with you that it's always best to ask a gentleman before sitting and I always did so. Another good rule to follow is not to even think about approaching a gentleman until the waitress has brought him his drink. Too often I saw ladies sit down with gentlemen the second they come in the club. Let him get a beer first! I have not worked in a SC 6 years, but then we had a 5minutes rule, (This wasin MTL and Toronto) The waitress had to have brought over his drink and allowed 5minutes for him to relax and look around. I liked that rule, because not every girl was running over to him as soon as he walked in. Being alot smaller then, size 9, compared to now a 14, I still was always the "bigger girl", so I would ALWAYS ask if they wanted company before I sat down. I prefered it when they were honest and said no, instead of saying yes but then feel uncomfortable with having to say they were not interested in a dance. Another thing amazes me, is when the guys think they are just $$ signs. I want to word this a best as I can so that I do NOT offend anyone! When choosing to entre a SC, your entering OUR place of work. This is how we pay bills and feed our children. NO, we do not want you to take pity on us, but expect to be approached. This is our job! The ladies are supposed to come to you, it's rare that the guys come to us, usually being too shy! Entering a SC, you know your not getting the same service as an Escort, there is no GFE, it's entertainment, we dance for you and we move on the next gentlemen. Yes we enjoy the little chit chat before dancing, but we are not paid for the time we are sitting there. So of course we are hoping you will be taking a dance! We have to Hustle to pay the bills! Maybe SC should change there protocol, like the women walk around and when a gentlemen sees a lady he wants, you call over a bouncer or someone and they retrieve the lady for you. Just an idea, doubt it will ever happen! Hope I didnt offend anyone! xoxo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LJCC 100 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 Maybe SC should change there protocol, like the women walk around and when a gentlemen sees a lady he wants, you call over a bouncer or someone and they retrieve the lady for you. Just an idea, doubt it will ever happen! I've always thought that they needed a better system. An LCD panel at each table that signals the person you're interested in so they know to approach your table when they are available. You're right though, won't happen. No club will put up money for a better system electronic or increased labour costs for bouncers to do the leg work. How about an iPhone app? hmmmm... maybe I'll do that :) I do get what you're saying about it being a place of work. I always fully expect to pay for a few dances if I accept an invitation for a dancer to sit with me. I also expect to get dances when I go to a strip club. Not one of those guys who nurses one beer for three hours drooling over the stage show, chatting up all the girls and then leaves without taking a dance. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mod 135640 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 Anyone ever go to the fairbanks Hotel in Toronto? (I am not even sure if they are still around as it has been at least 12 years or more since I was) They use to have a guy on the floor come around to the tables with a book (Maybe they still do). In the book was a Polaroid of every lady and he would point out who was available for dances. (All Asian Ladies). When you pick one of the ladies he used a headset to call her down to the floor and she would either dance at the table or walk you to the VIP lounge. I always thought this would be interesting for a NON Asian club. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capital Hunter 18263 Report post Posted March 2, 2011 I can give another but very similar example of such strip bar in Montreal. It was an asian dancer-only strip bar (young asian girls from China, Hong Kong, Thailand,....) and the bouncer was walking around with a book full of pictures of available girls. The customer used to look at the pictures and choose the girl. Then the girl was coming from upstairs (girls were not walking around or even downstairs where customers were unless private dancing for a customer or public dancing on the stage). It was about 15 years ago around fourteen hundred and something St. Catherine West in downtown Montreal. There were no CR or contact dances at that time and only $5 per song but the lap table dances were absolutely great and exotic in that bar, even though there was no contact (with hands but lap dancing was allowed). Too bad I had little money then :-(. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted March 3, 2011 mod and SA -- I dont get it ... why would you want to choose based on a Polaroid when they could be prancing around the club in the flesh? Its certainly different, I agree. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted March 3, 2011 Sorry not being smart, BUT...I find this funny, 6 pages on "How to say no in a strip club" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
