wendigo 687 Report post Posted March 15, 2011 I can understand that other people may have different preferred practices, but my own preference is for taking care of business beforehand. I can be a bit OCD, so I end up counting the money at least 4 or 5 times into the envelope to ensure that I have the right amount. My hand is already going to get the envelope once I've knocked on the door. You could say that I've pretty much made this into a habit, the good thing is that there's never a risk that I'll short one of the fine ladies here that way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namssa 562 Report post Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) As long as that works for you, that is fine, to each their own, nothing wrong with that. I know that I count my money a few times as well. I would just caution you to ensure that you are confident that you will obtain the expected services from your SP, especially if she is new or has very few reviews. I know it may seem impossible to some but there have actually been reported cases of SP's (not CERB ladies) taking the donation up front and providing lackluster services. I know, I can't hardly believe it either!! I can understand that other people may have different preferred practices, but my own preference is for taking care of business beforehand. I can be a bit OCD, so I end up counting the money at least 4 or 5 times into the envelope to ensure that I have the right amount. My hand is already going to get the envelope once I've knocked on the door. You could say that I've pretty much made this into a habit, the good thing is that there's never a risk that I'll short one of the fine ladies here that way. Edited March 15, 2011 by namssa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted March 15, 2011 I can understand that other people may have different preferred practices, but my own preference is for taking care of business beforehand. Absolutely. Probably the least enjoyable visit I've had was the one where I left the envelope in my coat pocket, and then spent the rest of the time thinking "Must remember the envelope!" every five minutes. Entirely my own fault, of course, but not something I'd want to do again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted March 15, 2011 I would just caution you to ensure that you are confident that you will obtain the expected services from your SP. I know it may seem impossible to some but there have actually been reported cases of SP's (not CERB ladies) taking the donation up front and providing lackluster services. I know, I can't hardly believe it either!! And the moral of the story is: find your companion on CERB, right? :icon_wink: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted March 16, 2011 I also don't call it money, but just taking care of business. I cannot think of any good reason to delay payment until the end of the session, you know what you are there for, she knows what you are there for, you've agreed on an amount, just pay it and it's done, and carry on. I can't think of anything that highlights more that this is a paid date encounter than after the fact having the guy leave the $$ on the dresser, or in hand lol. Also, to the guys who realize after the fact they arrived without the $$, are you kidding me? And to go thru the entire appt without having checked that you are prepared to pay? Really? Paying up front with an envelope with the donation in a gift back along with a gift (I try to pick something the lady I'm seeing would like) can in fact, if you wish, lead you to believe that this is not a paid encounter, you provided a gift for your date (if your worried about the illusion being ruined by paying...actually I really never completely understood this line of reasoning) And the lady can see the gift bag plain as day when she comes to my hotel room. Some additional thoughts RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namssa 562 Report post Posted March 16, 2011 There are a few that fit, but "find your companion on CERB" would certainly be one of them. And the moral of the story is: find your companion on CERB, right? :icon_wink: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted March 18, 2011 As long as that works for you, that is fine, to each their own, nothing wrong with that. I know that I count my money a few times as well. I would just caution you to ensure that you are confident that you will obtain the expected services from your SP, especially if she is new or has very few reviews. I know it may seem impossible to some but there have actually been reported cases of SP's (not CERB ladies) taking the donation up front and providing lackluster services. I know, I can't hardly believe it either!! But to me that sounds very manipulative. As in, if she doesnt deliver up to a perceived standard, what do you plan to do? Not pay the agreed upon amount? REally? Or is it simply a carrot on a stick, dangling with her uncertain as to whether you plan to pay or plan to create some kind of excuse for not paying? Do you prefer her to be worried and concerned about whether or not you plan to pay, or short change her now that the session is done and you no longer need her? The encounter was agreed upon for an agreed upon rate. What she does or does not provide, as in what you believed you should have gotten, has nothing to do with that. What you have the right to do at this point is to not repeat. You could also post a review on a review site. But to delay payment on this premise implies that you like to use it as a way to ensure you get what you came for, and the implication of that is very unpleasant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namssa 562 Report post Posted March 18, 2011 I really have no problem at all paying up front if asked, especially if I have never seen the lady previous. If I find that paying up front is SOP, then so be it, no worries. Many ladies I see, after the first or second time, have no problems with the donation being given at the end of the session. If a lady is a good provider, then her product will stand the test. If you are an established pooner with a good reputation, there should not be any concerns that the donation will be given after services have been given. FO, you can take whatever you like from my posts. It is not manipulative at all, but if that is how you feel, so be it. I guess as a consumer/client and a guy that works hard for my money, I like to spend it the way I like. I don't pay my mechanic, doctor, lawyer, landscaper, carpenter or anyone else before they deliver their services. SP's claim that they are like any other professional that delivers a service, and want/demand to be treated as such. Mechanics, doctors, lawyers, landscapers do not get paid until they deliver their services to the consumer, so because it is for "companion time", it should be different? Aplying your thinking, taking the money before "companion time" has been enjoyed sounds manipulative to me. What recourse as a consumer of your "time" do I have if the she does not "deliver" What if she just sits there watching TV, on her cell, bitching about her husband/boyfriend/kids during my "companion time"? What if the agreed on " companion time" is 60 minutes and she decides to leave at the 40 minute mark? What if she is hungover or high during my time? Not like I can go to LE (which I would never do) or to the Better Business Bureau or Chamber of Commerce and lay a complaint is it? Is she going to refund me 1/3 of the agreed price if she cuts out at 40 minutes....don't think so. Those cases are very very few and far between. It is much more likely that they guy is screwed and has to suck it up, there are tons more cases of this happening than getting a refund. What happen's if I ask for 1/3 back for her cutting out early and she refuses, what if she decides to accuse me of sexual assault or something? Can I lay a complaint and have her license pulled? Fat chance. Truth of the matter is, once the guy pays, the SP has ALL the control and pretty much can do as she likes. The only recourse client's have is to post a review what happened and warn other's and that is pretty much what a "Review" forum is about, the exchange of information regarding SP's. The only thing we have going for us is that we can not repeat, post a review and warn others which puts a kink in an SP's reputation and may lower her income in getting fewer sessions when word gets out. I know you from other forum's FO and I actually do respect and agree with your thinking on quite a number of issues. As we are both aware, this is a recommendation board, and thus not your typical review board. Everything here is pretty much rosy and shinny and glowing, but not the real world if you think about it for a bit. There are many, more cases of guys getting ripped off than ladies, think CL, BP, Dutt's. When guys or ladies are exposed for ripping the other off, community peer pressure ensues and nature takes it's course and hopefully things get fixed most of the time. What it comes down to is trust and respect for each other. If you read my quote at the top, you can see that I agree with paying a girl up front if that is her policy. So, I don't quite get where you get off hanging this on me, because I did not disagree with you. What I indicated was that a number of ladies that "I have seen" are fine with the donation being given at the end and if they are a good provider their product "companion time" will stand the test (payment after a session). If a guy has a good reputation and the girl has a good reputation, it should not matter when the donation is given. As you ladies want to be treated as "professionals", then have your product stand the test and deliver your product with the confidence that your client will be happy and satisfied with your services. I pay my doctor after the visit, I pay my lawyer after the visit, I pay my mechanic after repairs are done. If their services are not what I paid for, I have the recourse of lodging a complaint with a professional association. Who do I lodge a complaint with when I pay up front and services are not delivered? I will tell you who......no one, except a review board. Any SP that I have seen a few times has no concern that I will pay after my "companion time", it is a given. I always pay no matter the service, because that was the agreement, I have no issue with that. The thing that I do is research extensively prior to a session (95% of the time) and only see ladies that have a proven track record of delivering. With respect and a proven track record by both parties there should be no concerns over when payment is to be received. If you want to be viewed as professionals then accept it for what it is. In my view if a lady is demanding payment up front there is usually a reason for it..............and it is not a good reason. But to me that sounds very manipulative. As in, if she doesnt deliver up to a perceived standard, what do you plan to do? Not pay the agreed upon amount? REally? Or is it simply a carrot on a stick, dangling with her uncertain as to whether you plan to pay or plan to create some kind of excuse for not paying? Do you prefer her to be worried and concerned about whether or not you plan to pay, or short change her now that the session is done and you no longer need her? The encounter was agreed upon for an agreed upon rate. What she does or does not provide, as in what you believed you should have gotten, has nothing to do with that. What you have the right to do at this point is to not repeat. You could also post a review on a review site. But to delay payment on this premise implies that you like to use it as a way to ensure you get what you came for, and the implication of that is very unpleasant. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted March 18, 2011 It's pretty standard practice for the envelope to be placed discretely on the table at the beginning of the session or given to the lady if she asks for it. There is too much risk of rip off after a man has gotten his rocks off. I'm sorry I don't agree with the previous post. Business should be taken care of up front, discretely and honestly and then let the fun begin. Takes the guess work out of it all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted March 18, 2011 In my view if a lady is demanding payment up front there is usually a reason for it..............and it is not a good reason. and the reason usually is some dude got the service and didn't pay or short changed the lady. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namssa 562 Report post Posted March 18, 2011 That was not quite my thinking, but I agree that it does happen. That is where research and having a proven track record for both SP and client can help. If she is "demanding" rather than asking for payment upfront, usually a sign of poor services, especially with some of the former CL girls. and the reason usually is some dude got the service and didn't pay or short changed the lady. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted March 18, 2011 Most ladies I deal with are not demanding. First time they will say "Let's get the business out of the way first and then we can have some fun." With repeat ladies I know it's understood that the envelope is placed discretely on the table and the fun begins. It's not rocket science. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted March 18, 2011 In my view if a lady is demanding payment up front there is usually a reason for it..............and it is not a good reason. You just insulted virtually every lady on this board. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Loki318 1631 Report post Posted March 18, 2011 Do your research guys and as others have said 95 to 99 % of the time you will be fine... With first time meetings or when I toftt always make the pmt up front.. After I have repeted a couple of times or more I like to pay in advance by Email when the apointment if confirmed if the SP is set up to receive money that way (most are) If you really want superior service and know you will see her regularly or a few time in the next few months try putting her on a retainer $$$ every 2 weeks for xx visits a month :) This may not work for everyone but has worked well a few times for me and it is easy to budget and it take that "GFE" illision more to a mistress situation which IMHO is far more realisitic... Loki318 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted March 18, 2011 How would you react if your boss had forgotten to put you on the payroll? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) In my view if a lady is demanding payment up front there is usually a reason for it..............and it is not a good reason. Try not paying your lawyer or your mechanic and see what happens. They may send you demand letters, get a collection agency to call you endlessly, take you court, put a lien against your house or your car or make a report about you to the various credit bureaus. But if you don't pay me, what can I do? I could try to let others know what's happened. The chances are that I know more about you than you think. But will I? Probably not. Because in a conflict between me and a client, the man suddenly turns into a fine, up-standing man, a pillar of the community, admired by friends and strangers and a fine example of all that it is to be kind, conscientious, thoughtful, charitable and deeply good, not to mention the best and most faithful husband in the world. At the same time, I will rapidly turn into a lying, conniving, home-wrecking, desperate, likely drug-addicted bit of trash with nothing going for me but my probably-fading beauty and thinking too much of myself to do anything but lie down on a soft bed and expect men to shower me with $100 bills. Even more important than all of that, if I go after the guy who decides not to pay me, I have to "out" myself, not Samantha Evans, but me. Realistically, after that, my landlord could evict me and my ex unquestionably will act to take away the children that he refuses to support now. :tresmauvaisehumeur: Okay... I'll calm down a little bit. Let's put it this way. We screen our clients. We do the best we can to decide whether a prospective client is safe for us to see. Not just to see, but to have into our homes, into our beds and into our bodies. Those of us who don't have a pretty well-developed intuition don't do very well in this business, but none of us is perfect. We all take calls that we wish we'd turned away, sometimes. We're concerned about compatibility, for sure, but mostly we want to know that we're safe, that we don't have to worry that we're going to be harmed or outed publicly. A client's first meeting with a companion is the last step in the screening process. How that meeting goes will determine whether she's willing to see him again. If you show up and don't pay me before things get underway, you fail my screening test. Period. Edited March 20, 2011 by SamanthaEvans 18 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RobX 2084 Report post Posted March 19, 2011 (edited) Try not paying your lawyer or your mechanic and see what happens. They may send you demand letters, get a collection agency to call you endlessly, take you court, put a lien against your house or your car or make a report about you to the various credit bureaus. But if you don't pay me, what can I do? I could try to let others know what's happened. The chances are that I know more about you than you think. But will I? Probably not. Because in a conflict between me and a client, the man suddenly turns into a fine, up-standing man, a pillar of the community, admired by friends and strangers and a fine example of all that it is to be kind, conscientious, thoughtful, charitable and deeply good, not to mention the best and most faithful husband in the world. At the same time, I will rapidly turn into a lying, conniving, home-wrecking, desperate, likely drug-addicted bit of trash with nothing going for me but my probably-fading beauty and thinking too much of myself to do anything but lie down on a soft bed and expect men to shower me with $100 bills. Even more important than all of that, if I go after the guy who decides not to pay me, I have to "out" myself, not Samantha Evans, but me. Realistically, after that, my landlord could evict me and my ex unquestionably will act to take away the children that he refuses to support now! :tresmauvaisehumeur: I am the OP of this thread. Your post provides the context for why I felt so bad about having forgotten to pay, even though I immediately gave her the money when she reminded me. When I talked about the degree of sensitivity around the issue of money in the arena of sex work at the beginning of my post, and my fear that she now subconsciously associates me with those clients who may have wronged her in the past, that is what I meant. This is why I felt that my forgetting was not just a simple mistake, but a serious transgression. If I had forgotten to give my lawyer the cheque I had in my pocket, it would not have been a big deal. I would simply call him and drop it of the next day. However, forgetting to hand over the money to a provider, until she reminds you, is a serious transgression precisely because of the context you so aptly described in your post. Edited March 19, 2011 by RobX Grammar Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted March 19, 2011 Wow...I'm a little slow picking up on this thread but ya....this is not a mechanic shop here. Curious though. If someone just got their car fixed but said "hey, I am not happy with your quality of service so here, I am giving you $200 instead of $300". You think they would be driving their car outta there? Don't think so. Pretty straight forward. Pay the SP upfront. That is just exactly how this world of SP / Hobbying works. And a wonderful world it is. But, just like anything else in life, if you have had a bad experience then what can you do but suck it up, learn from the experience and make better or different choices in the future. These ladies deal with a lot of risk and a lot of BS as well from the idiots out there so how about at least we Cerbies be courteous and considerate and follow a very simple requirement. My take on it. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Megan'sTouch 23875 Report post Posted March 19, 2011 FO, you can take whatever you like from my posts. It is not manipulative at all, but if that is how you feel, so be it. I guess as a consumer/client and a guy that works hard for my money, I like to spend it the way I like. I don't pay my mechanic, doctor, lawyer, landscaper, carpenter or anyone else before they deliver their services. SP's claim that they are like any other professional that delivers a service, and want/demand to be treated as such. Mechanics, doctors, lawyers, landscapers do not get paid until they deliver their services to the consumer, so because it is for "companion time", it should be different? Wow, this post is so offensive I don't know where to start. 1) I recently hired a lawyer to research for me all the legalities surrounding my business so I could have a thorough understanding. She received a $1000 retainer before delivering her services to me. 2) The professionals you speak of have LEGAL recourses to obtain money not paid. Didn't pay your lawyer? She can take you to court! But look luck seeing an escort pursue such legal means! I think the point many of us make is that we would LIKE to be like any other professional, and that is why activist groups exist, but we are not there yet! I would love to have the same rights as others professions! Aplying your thinking, taking the money before "companion time" has been enjoyed sounds manipulative to me. What recourse as a consumer of your "time" do I have if the she does not "deliver" What if she just sits there watching TV, on her cell, bitching about her husband/boyfriend/kids during my "companion time"? What if the agreed on " companion time" is 60 minutes and she decides to leave at the 40 minute mark? What if she is hungover or high during my time? Not like I can go to LE (which I would never do) or to the Better Business Bureau or Chamber of Commerce and lay a complaint is it? Is she going to refund me 1/3 of the agreed price if she cuts out at 40 minutes....don't think so. Those cases are very very few and far between. It is much more likely that they guy is screwed and has to suck it up, there are tons more cases of this happening than getting a refund. What happen's if I ask for 1/3 back for her cutting out early and she refuses, what if she decides to accuse me of sexual assault or something? Can I lay a complaint and have her license pulled? Fat chance. Truth of the matter is, once the guy pays, the SP has ALL the control and pretty much can do as she likes. Sounds to me like you're actually the one interested in manipulating. Afraid of getting screwed over? Choose a well-reviewed companion! Have someone screw you over? Post that on an online review board! On another note, I provide much better service when I'm paid upfront, as I do request. When I'm not paid upfront (as I didn't always ask in the beginning) there was a minor stress throughout the session wondering: "Is he going to pay me?" I'm actually more likely to get the client out the door right on time when he hasn't paid because I'm eager to get my money and get that stress out of me. When he has paid, I sometimes allow things to linger a bit. I'm in no rush, though when I'm not paid I'm certainly in a rush to get paid! Summary? If you don't pay me upfront, I won't provide as good service because my mind is elsewhere, and I'm more likely to boot you out the door because I want to receive my payment. This doesn't happen anymore as I ask for payment upfront! Withholding payment because you think you will get better service just sounds ridiculous to me. If you have to do this to get good service, you obviously haven't chosen a good provider! As you ladies want to be treated as "professionals", then have your product stand the test and deliver your product with the confidence that your client will be happy and satisfied with your services. FYI, every time I've heard of a lady getting ripped out (an envelope filled with Canadian Tire money, a stack of bills with $5's inside, and $20 on the outside, etc) it had NOTHING to do with her service! Guys who like to rip off ladies will rip them off no matter what the service. If you are not satisfied with the service, you should NOT withhold payment. You should discuss it with her and see if you can come to an agreement. Could she give you a partial refund? A longer session at the same price? You don't have the right to withhold payment just because you didn't like the service she offered. This isn't a "pay me what you feel I was worth" deal. If you agreed to pay her $200, you need to be honourable and pay her the $200 for her hour. If you can't agree to do that because you don't trust the lady will deliver the service you're looking for, then don't go see her. In my view if a lady is demanding payment up front there is usually a reason for it..............and it is not a good reason. Sorry but I couldn't disagree more. I'm well-reviewed, give great service, and ask for payment upfront. The reason being: I want to be relaxed during the session and not thinking about money & I don't want to get ripped off. There is no alterior motive or hidden agenda. I'm also happy to say that in 3.5 years in the sex industry (stripping and massage) I have NEVER been ripped off. As such, I will continue my "payment upfront" policy. 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EmilyRushton 253377 Report post Posted March 19, 2011 In my view if a lady is demanding payment up front there is usually a reason for it..............and it is not a good reason. Your way off with this....I travel and ask for pre-payment from some new clients via money transfer. Never have I felt so offended by some ones comments, take your negativity to another board. If a lady feels the need to ask for money upfront she has her reasons and they are really none of your business or concern. This is a business (A REAL Business) to many of us, so have the respect to respect our policys 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S******s*m Report post Posted March 19, 2011 Emma, Emma, Emma... I can't figure why this would happen at all - lol. As I recall the first time we met - I barely had time to take my jacket off let alone reach in my pockets for the "present"... I think you are being modest on how often this happens. I never call it money {present}. I've had it happen a few times. Sometimes we just are so caught up in things that we forget. Forget to mention our "present", forget to leave the "present". Every time it's happened i just ask...did you remember the present? The guys have it and give it to me..no hard feelings. We usually laugh as i know it wasn't done on purpose. I do feel awkward having to ask but hey you would ask if you didn't get paid,right? I've even had times when we both forgot and the gentleman returned right away with it. So i wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure she knows it was an accident. It would be a different story however if you didn't even have the "present" on you. Then I would kick your ass...hahahakisses, Emma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted March 20, 2011 That was not quite my thinking, but I agree that it does happen. That is where research and having a proven track record for both SP and client can help. If she is "demanding" rather than asking for payment upfront, usually a sign of poor services, especially with some of the former CL girls. It usually would only get to a "demanding" stage if they guy is not respecting her policy of payment before the appt and is trying to argue the fact. Also your point about having seen the sp before, so she is ok with post payment doesn't fly if your point is that she required it on your first visits. It means your point that there is something wrong with sps who require it, but now that you've seen one two or three times, somehow there is suddenly nothing "wrong" with them? Also, I didn't hear your reply. Of those who do take payment after the fact, do you or do you not shortchange them on the agreed fee, when they do not perform to your satisfaction? And if each and everyone of them did provide what you expected, does that somehow confirm your accusation that they would not have if you had paid up front? Can you not just assume they would have done the same regardless? Just as the ones you prepay and revisit did, why assume the worst of each and everyone who requires prepayment? And, what doctor takes your payment after the visit? Do you not have a medical plan, that is guaranteed payment. sps have no such guarantee. I've been without insurance before, and I guarantee the office collects the appt fee before you get to see the doctor. Fill a prescription, they know what you are expecting, but won't give it to you until you pay. Your mechanic? I've bought cars from mechanics before, they kept them in lieu of payment by the person bringing it in for repair and sell them to recoup the repair costs. Lawyers bill you for what they do during and after you see them, they cannot possibly know what the rate will be before performance. I've seen numerous examples of hiring a lawyer, and the quick way is when they say "give me a dollar" and voila the person has a lawyer at their disposal. As mentioned above, lawyers require a retainer. Big or small, you pay a portion up front when they are not agreeing to a contingency type arrangement. You visit an sp for an hour, she has a rate for the hour, regardless of what does or does not happen, so you know going in what the final total is. And I still find it offensive when anyone lumps advertisers on CL, even with the caveat of "some". CL was an advertising site, not an agency with employees they represented. Neither CL nor any other advertising site has anything to do with who chooses to advertise on it. There are many many many examples of professionals and types of work out there where at the very least a deposit, usually non-refundable, is required. These are often cases where time or effort is expended in order for the "job" to be done, regardless of the result or if the client wants to cancel for some reason, they are still paid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites