A question for the men: What have you learned?

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I know that I've learned a lot of things in my time as a paid companion. Thinking about some of that made me wonder what the men, here, might have learned from time they've spent with paid companions

 

• about sex
  
• about women, women's bodies and responses
  
• about their own bodies
  
• about themselves in general
  

If you feel that you haven't learned, or needed to learn, anything, that's perfectly okay. But if you have learned something you didn't know before, I'd love to know what that might be!

 

Additional Comments:

To be fair, I thought I should say something about what I've learned. Two things come to mind.

 

First, I am continually and profoundly saddened by the stories men tell me about their wives' apparent loss of interest in sex over time. I believe what men tell me because I hear the same things over and over again, deeply personal, sometimes painful stories or admissions about the lack of intimacy and erotic connection in their relationships or marriages. I was married for along time, myself. I know how exhausting raising children, running a house and managing a career can be. I recall too many times when, by the end of the day, I was worn out and couldn't imagine wanting one more person to touch me, to need something or to require my attention. But sex has always been very important to me and I never wanted to do without it, so I wasn't willing to let it go.

 

I also recognize that only some men seek a companion's services because of the loss of intimacy at home. Many men are content with their marriages, their partners and their sex lives at home, but the want something else, more variety, or to scratch an itch or two that they can't, at home. I don't judge any of these reasons for seeing a paid companion.

 

But I do feel sorry for other women who have decided to give up on pleasure, or who for whatever reason weren't able to find it to begin with.

 

The second thing I've learned is how many men have felt inhibited about exploring women's bodies fully. Men who thoroughly enjoy sex, who say that they're happy in general, and who seem truly to like women, but who haven't been able to have the opportunity to examine, touch, experience and talk about things like g-spots or the anatomy of clitorises. That has surprised me. I've spent a lot of time lying back and showing someone what's where and how it works or how it feels to me. I'm happy to do it. It's often a heck of a lot of fun! But, since most of my visitors are over 50, I also feel a bit sad that they haven't been able to do this before.

[mrrnice2 157005]

Samantha. Great forum topic. I am on a real learning curve. There is self discovery at a mental level. There are the unfullfilled fantasies yet to be explored.

 

One area in particular that I am learning about is the fact that women all respond differently. Having had many years with one partner, and having learned her body intimately and how it would respond to just about anything, it is so interesting to find that what "worked" for one woman might not necessarily "work" for another. That is probably pretty obvious, but it has only just hit me as a reality.

 

Soft or hard? Vocal or non vocal? Seduction or raw sexuality? Touch here or touch there? Kiss here or kiss there?

 

What a fun learning experience this is.

[J Galt 337]

I thought this hobby would get me out of having to learn these things.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Great minds think alike:

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=38660&highlight=learned

[E.D. man 691]

I have learned that even escorts are like dating I have met ones that i like and didn't like.

Some like to to teach. Others don't.

Some are just it it for the money and others exude at what they do and make it enjoyable for their clientele.

Each person is an individual an can only be themselves.

To me the ones who make me feel good about myself after session are the ones I would like to repeat with.

But all you ladies I believe provide a service that is required in society.

And I hope you all have a great time with us hobbiests.

[Boomer 33202]

A comment on your two points.

 

For context I'll tell you that I've been widowed for five years now. I deeply regret the loss of interest in sex that occured in my own marriage. I gotta say that I can't put all of it on the wife for that failure. I think Megan is right in that you have to want to maintain a good healthy sex life. That means hard work and open communications. It's a two way street, and you have to be giving, can't be selfish. Sometimes you have to suck it up and take care of your partner at the times when you're not really interested.

 

As for knowing about the female anatomy, I've learned a lot in the last few years. I hobby often and am very open and talky with the women now that I am a free agent. Maybe it's an age thing, I'm not as robust and haven't the same expectations. I think the word intmacy defines what I look forward to today. I am very open to any experience now, and it also helps to read a few good books on the subject

[Winnipegcub 21293]

How much I MISSED the look, smell, taste, and touch of a woman! You are treasures. Cub

Posted via Mobile Device

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

Great minds think alike:

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=38660&highlight=learned

 

They do, indeed! I don't know how I missed that thread, Megan. Thanks for pointing it out.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I have been happy to learn that society's perceptions of escorts/sexworkers is grossly inaccurate

[Cato 160314]

I agree with Scott.

I also love that I'm able to indulge my passion for oral sex (as well as other forms), and have become much better at giving oral, I think, than I used to be.

And I love the women I've met; all of them have been excellent in their own ways, and I've enjoyed connecting with them at different levels. Just that sense that I can make connections with lots of different women is in itself rewarding, and affirming. And then you get to find out about their interests and activities, and laugh and have fun, and you get to see and touch beauty and experience intense pleasure. As much as you can manage. And, hopefully, to give intense pleasure, too.

[chavez 641]

Nice question.

I've learned that by being me and by being open I can become closer to most women than I ever expected.

I've learned to initite a conversation with a virtual stanger ( provideing she is female), adding to her life experiences and my own.

I've confirmed something that I have always expected;

I love giving even more than receiveing but I hate greed...chicas

[roamingguy 300292]

I've learned that it isn't the sex (and menu of services) that counts, it's the entirety of the encounter that is pleasurable...the companionship, relaxing etc. And it's great when there is a certain chemistry.

 

I've learned that there is mutual respect (if CERB is an example) between the ladies and gentlemen

 

I've been hobbying (btw surprised that that is the term) since July 2010.

Contrary to what mainstream society would have you believe, I have yet to meet a whore, hooker, or prostitute...but I have met a number of wonderful ladies

 

Hobbying beats dating hands down, and has filled a void in my life when I gave up dating (after I broke up with my last g/f)

 

When looking for a lady to meet, CERB is the place to go

 

RG

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Mines a bit sadder, but ultimately in a good way for me: although I always tremendously enjoy the time I spend with the ladies I have met here, there is sometimes a pretty profound since of lonliness and sadness after the end of an encounter. That's probably because I only "hobby" when I am in Ottawa visiting, so an encounter always ends with me in an empty hotel room. However, there are always good memories and the hope of maybe exchanging an e-mail or two to keep up later, and I am always very happy to get back to my home life and family.

 

Maybe this is what "male menopause" is all about? :icon_smile:

[LeeRichards 177238]

What I have learned...hmmm...My entire look at the world of paid companionship has changed a lot over the past year! Wow! I ventured into it briefly before Cerb but it was through Cerb that I found out how many great gals there were out there, how much fun and fullfilling it can be. I have met some really, really great ladies!!!

 

I have learned sexually speaking, new experiences or experiences that don't happen frequently in my normal day sex life, if ever. I have developed some connections I guess u would say and have regular/repeat visits with some SP's that I really look forward to. Thats what I look for.

 

This I do know for a fact. I have learned that this hobby has its place in society and hobbying over the past year, right wrong or indifferent has played a big part in saving my homelife/marriage with 2 young kids...etc....(long story) Crazy I know but it has been awesome! I escape not that often but occasionally, de-stress, unwind, relax, have fun, etc..etc...with a great lady! No Strings for both parties and if all goes well mutual enjoyment!

 

I am still learning so I guess I MUST keep hobbying at least for a little while longer! To all the ladies that have treated me great and shown me an awesome time cause all of you are on Cerb ! Big Thanks!

[E.D. man 691]

Most of the ladies I have met on here have been respectful and honest.

With some of the ladies I have made a connection with. When we are together we make each other feel good about ourselves.

I believe chemistry and personality help with this. This is why I believe it is YMMV for everyone.

Two sp cerbites have made it especially wonderful for me.

I would like to especially thankful to Sin Cindy and Kimberly-Shea.

[roamingguy 300292]

Two more things popped into my head

 

First. Seeing escorts is not an anonymous impersonal momentary time spent together, it is an intimate (and more than just in the sexual sense of the word) time between two adults, and very special. With that having been said a person's reputation and character actually mean something

 

Second. Life happens,...to everyone. We all hear about guys who are no shows and ladies that double book. But in (if my history is an example) alot of cases, it's life happens (things unavoidable go wrong and appointments have to be rearranged) Be philosophical, roll with it. People, for the most part, are not generally by nature ignorant towards others.

 

Some more ramblings

RG

[Kubrickfan 12836]

one more thing for me too: I am absolutely honored to meet the ladies I have been fortunate enough to see, and I have an incredible amount of respect for them and the risks they sometimes have to take. And why it's so important to gain a measure of trust ... To paraphrase Forest Gump, clients are like a box of chocolates ... You're never sure what you're gonna get! (smile)

[Gentleman11 10508]

Hey Mod,

 

It sounds like you would have a great Board of Directors using the posters here so far as well as Samantha Evans (thread starter) as your chair....fod-for-thoutht

[Guest 9**A*****]

I agree with roamingguy, in that it is the entirety of the encounter that counts. I am new as a "hobbyist" I've had the pleasure to meet (and repeat) with two sp's. Both are completely different and yet I adore both for many different reasons. Each time I open my door, I am nervous, excited, but always happy to see them again. I enjoy the time and the laughter we share, not just the sex (which is why I always chose the longer unrushed approach).