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How has being an SP impacted your social life?

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Guest ma*be***ag***

This is a fantastic thread, thanks for starting it...

 

I often wonder about the personal side of things on the few times I have had the chance to find time to spend with a lady from cerb. I always imagined how difficult it would be to find a partner, or one who would be understanding. Forget partner, find a friend who would be open to it without judging you. I am sure it is quite difficult, and having read this thread, I find a deeper level of respect for the ladies on here.

 

Thank you to all the ladies who share with us on these. I know I am still relatively new, and haven't posted a lot on here, however the more I read, the more I hope you all are able to balance the wonderful craziness of your lives.

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So good to see your involvement maybefunagain! I think participating in these discussions can somewhat remedy those social issues we experience, as SP's. It is a way to be social even from a distance.

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I find that some women in the hobby can be isolated and maybe even a bit lonely. Most can't share their experiences with folks outside the game much like most hobbyists can't either. I've always been some one people feel very comfortable talking to as I'm a very open person, like people a lot, take an interest, am a good listener, experienced and non judgemental. Subsequently the more I see some one the more they seem to want to talk and I'm cool with that as I'm not there to pound away for an hour any way. Sp's often report that some clients see them because they're looking for a sympathetic ear or some one to talk to and I've found at times the opposite to be true. Sort of funny that I can end up being the one monitoring the time.

 

This can be a very tough gig and the participants should never lose sight of that and be good to each other. We're in this together after all.

 

Peace

MG

Edited by mrgreen760
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Guest **cely***r***ne

All of us have those friends that we hang out with, but usually only a few that we call as real freinds who do not judge and realize that what one does to pay the rent, does not make one more or less of a person than anybody with a "real" job. Those few people who do not judge are the ones that we can call true friends.

 

 

My thoughts and feelings exactly! I have a few very close friends who know what I do..they do not care and they do not judge me. They love me for me not what I do. Mind you I have lost a few friends over this...but they were obviously not my true friends if they couldn't accept me for me.

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Like alot of the ladies, I too have a few TRUE friends...ones that I can count on one hand with a couple fingers left over

And from this guy's perspective, seeing ladies has become my social/dating life now. After years of dating/failed relationships, I gave up.

The ladies that I really enjoyed my time with provided MUCH MORE than sexual services. Conversation, companionship, kissing, cuddling. For the few hours we are together it is like being on a date. And I am interested in the lady as more than a sex provider, I am interested in her as a person (no, not trying to sound sappy, and not trying to establish a relationship)

And whether I see the lady again or never again, all ladies I remember, and respect.

How I see it anyway

RG

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In my experience as an SP, I have always found it good to have other employment and other interests outside of this to live a more balanced lifestyle. I have regular friends and I have friends who are SPs. Both are great but I have always kept it separate.

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Being an SP has effected my personal relationships to a certain extent. When I meet someone I'm interested in romantically, I need to 'out' myself as an SP and hope for the best. I've had years to deconstruct exactly what it means to be an SP and demystify what it is we do, who our clients are, etc. A lot of the people I meet haven't had ANY interaction with SPs at all, which is why it's really important we get information out there (it seems like the solution is always 'educational campaigns - kind of annoying).

 

I took a break a while back from being an SP and when I told my partner at the time that I wanted to start again, they broke up with me! There's this idea that SPs are somehow vectors of disease, people society can blame for the spread of STIs...(she was extremely afraid I would 'pick something up' from someone, which is interesting, because we were in an open relationship!). If you ever talk to me about safer sex practices I really (REALLY) know my shit. We (SPs) have honed our practice incredibly and out partners need to understand and trust that.

 

Check out this video, it's really cool!

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I agree with you! SP'S have to know our safe practices, our health depends on it! So why is the SP the ones to be looked at as "vector's of disease'. I find it is the general public who have there facts all messed up. Half of which do not know the proper use of condom's!

It is too bad for them that they decided to break it off with you. Is is their loss, and koddoo's to you for being honest with them!

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Guest s******ecan****
I agree with you! SP'S have to know our safe practices, our health depends on it! So why is the SP the ones to be looked at as "vector's of disease'. I find it is the general public who have there facts all messed up. Half of which do not know the proper use of condom's!

 

Bar hopping is much riskier!

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Bar hopping is much riskier!

 

Yeah! For sure! 100 protected encounters is less risky than 1 unprotected sexual encounter during a 1 night stand. The statistics speak for themselves.

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for me, my social lie has pretty much vanished, but im starting to get it back again. Personally i had friends who were not really friends (had nothing to do with being a SP) you live and learn. If i go to the bar, im not out there to make new clients, and usually im with my friends that know what i do, and accept me for me, if i need to answer my phone, i just say its a friend. if you start making an excuse for something, its like a white lie right? and everyone knows that one will turn into another, you will eventually get confused and it will come out! why bother hanging with someone that seems to be waiting for you to mess up? i would just get not bother, if your friends cant accept you or who you are, what you do, or even the fact that you dont want to tell them, then how are they your friend? thats how i determin it now, and ive gained good relationships from sticking to that. I dont want to be friends with someone who doesnt accept me, and vice versa.

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