Does being in a personal relationship affect the services that an SP offers?

[RobX 2084]

The idea for this question comes from two sources:

 

1. It is the other side of the coin to a current thread: "How has being an SP impacted your social life? "(http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=48494)

 

2. There was a theory proposed on another board to try explain the case of an MA who started off in the business with a GFE attitude, who, for a couple of years became cold and distant during her sessions, but now seems to have returned to being GFE. The theory will become obvious by the question asked below:

 

The question is:

 

Is a provider's ability to provide a GFE experience to her clients affected by whether or not she is currently in a relationship, and how serious that relationship is? Does a provider generally feel more free to provide GFE services while she is not in a relationship, and conversely, does she feel more restrained from providing GFE services to her clients while she is in a serious relationship?

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

For me I can say YES! For me I usually will not have a BF when I am working in this trade. I tried it only once, had a BF for 8months. He knew what I did when we met. He did not seem to mind it. But I sure did! I did not offer GFE at that time for the reason of intimacy. To kiss and cuddle and other activities just made it uncomfortable for me.

That relationship ended not so nice. Near the end of our time together, I was emotionally confused. I no longer was have sex with my man out of desire, but out of guilt and obligation. And he, although said he was fine with my work, every chance he got to use it against me, call me names, Although he did not mind spending the money!

Now he is gone from my life, and I feel so much better about providing GFE. I am not sure if I ever want another relationship. I am fulfilled in so many ways. I do get the intimacy we all crave, I have people whom I adore, and they adore me, Real respect, appreciation, good times, and freedom!

So for me, I will not enter a relationship while I am in this trade. It is hard on me, hard on the BF, and I cant give the same great service that I do now.

Perhaps I am getting "set in my way's?" LOL

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

I am not interested in anyone who would like to exercise control over my sexuality. I'm free to do as I please (with health/safety in mind, of course) and so is he! At least that's my ideal.

[Mister T 45020]

I am not interested in anyone who would like to exercise control over my sexuality. I'm free to do as I please (with health/safety in mind' date=' of course) and so is he! At least that's my ideal.[/quote']

 

Control of any kind in a relationship is never good. It's an ideal that is difficult to find for anyone, unfortunatly.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Several years ago when new to the hobby I had an encounter with a lady who shied away from the GFE aspects of the session. Her comment at the time was that she reserved some things for her relationship with her boyfriend.

 

This had a major impact on me which continues to this day.

 

First on many levels I could understand that this may be how some ladies managed to stay both in the industry and in a relationship. I had read personal stories from long term escorts that one of the casualties of the business was the role of sex in their personal relationships - how they became jaded sexually, lost interest, considered it 'work' and so on.

 

Secondly I knew that while I could understand it, I certainly didn't like it. I was only in this hobby for the GFE experience and had no interest in stereotypical non-GFE FS, mechanical sessions.

 

As a result I wish to be state of ignorance regarding a ladies personal relationship life. If I know she is married or in a relationship then I won't see her as I fear the session will be less GFE than I like. Is this always the case - of course not. Do I miss out on some good ladies this way - probably. However I believe in balance that I experience more good GFE sessions this way.

 

Some ladies comment that when meeting clients and having the initial casual conversations that they are often asked if they have an SO. Some guys like the idea of doing another guys girl. However I don't want to know. If I'm at the point of being with a lady then I prefer to not know the state of her personal relationship life and just let the session be whatever it will be. If a lady is in a relationship yet still gives a great GFE then I'm happy.

 

I think this board can sometimes be a double-edged sword to the ladies who participate. I believe it gives they a much needed sense of community as the secret nature of the business can cause loneliness on many levels. However when ladies write about having an SO then I personally lose any interest in seeing them.

 

I tend to see SP's for the GFE experience as it gives me intimacy which I think we all need in our lives (even if only for an hour). I think a good number of married guys also see SP's with the same need. For me, the SP's I seek out tend to be the lower volume indie's who 'seem' single.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

When I was younger in this business I found that when I was in a relationship I was a better sp.. the more I was ''given'' and ''taken care of at home'' the more I was able to give in my job. As I've gotten older I have learned to love myself and take care of myself.. so it matters not whether I'm in a relationship or not.

[Alexandra-Sky 12606]

As for me, I'm with Megan on this one.

 

It's none of my partner's business as to what I choose to do with my own body. It's mine, not their's.

 

Sky

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

I am not interested in anyone who would like to exercise control over my sexuality. I'm free to do as I please (with health/safety in mind' date=' of course) and so is he! At least that's my ideal.[/quote']

 

As for me, I'm with Megan on this one.

 

It's none of my partner's business as to what I choose to do with my own body. It's mine, not their's.

 

I completely agree with Megan and Sky.

 

I sell fantasies. In my personal life, I deal in realities. These are fundamentally different things and I keep them separate.

 

Part of the fantasy is that after a little e-mail or a couple of phone calls, a man can walk into my place and have me naked and in bed with him within 5 minutes, if that's what he wants, as though this is how things usually are with men and women. If I agree to see someone, that I'll have sex with him is virtually guaranteed. He never has to know much about me, help me with anything, share my interests or my politics, or remember my birthday. In addition to being paid in full and on arrival, I only expect basic consideration and good etiquette. The fantasy might last a couple of hours. It might be repeated many times over several years. I never assume that I will see the client again unless he makes another appointment. I get paid for ensuring that I attach no strings, anywhere.

 

In real life, I don't go to bed on the first date. I want my intimate partner to know who I am (I being the woman who is not Samantha Evans), have some interests and values in common with mine, and to be a willing and equal partner in whatever we do together. I expect to be cared about and appreciated for many things and I expect to care for and appreciate many aspects of my partner, too. If I care deeply for him, he will know it in no uncertain terms and, while I'm not one to tie anyone down--outside of mutually consensual games--I will expect to matter to him and to assume that the relationship is ongoing until one of us says otherwise.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I agree Samantha! I often say that for being an open-minded, feel lovin' women as an SP, In my real life, I wont sleep with you on the first date. I really want to know that it is sincere and true. I laugh at my self at times...saying" wow, I am actually more conservative ( prude-ish...??) then I recognize.) I do not like to pick up in bars, nor do I like being "picked-up". If I feel like you are trying to pick me up, I usually will walk the other way, But I certainly love to be courted first.

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

I've always thought that I could never have a personal relationship while being an SP. This is for a few reasons..I wonder if he is as honestly ok with it as he says he is...and can he differentiate work from home life.

 

My past relationships I had been insecure, I couldn't even be naked in front of my partners! Being an SP has taught me to be more comfortable with what Ive got and what I look like. And like a couple ladies have said...I am not the type of girl to just get "picked up" and go home with random people either.

 

I separate my work from my personal life as much as I can. And sometimes it takes alot for me to give myself to someone. But while in an encounter, I treat my date as though he was my boyfriend and I can only hope that he feels as appreciated as I do.

[PistolPete 61421]

Feel appreciated, and a whole lot more when we spent a couple of hours together ;)

 

But while in an encounter, I treat my date as though he was my boyfriend and I can only hope that he feels as appreciated as I do.

[Ashley Ann 75247]

The idea for this question comes from two sources:

 

The question is:

 

Is a provider's ability to provide a GFE experience to her clients affected by whether or not she is currently in a relationship, and how serious that relationship is? Does a provider generally feel more free to provide GFE services while she is not in a relationship, and conversely, does she feel more restrained from providing GFE services to her clients while she is in a serious relationship?

 

We are all different, but for me, I would not be able to do this if I had a boyfriend or s/o.

 

I have been single for over a whole decade, and unfortunately will probably be single for a while longer!!! Although I have had many 9-5 jobs through out the past decade, in between, I would still see 2 regular clients. The type of man I would choose to be with in a relationship would not be ok with this.

 

I may be open sexually (while I am single) but actually very "old fashioned" in the sense when it comes to "commitment".

 

Being single allows me do to this, otherwise I would not.

 

FOR ME personally, I have no desire to be in a relationship with a man who has no issues with me performing sexual services for men...like I said, I am old fashioned.

[cflpoolboss 160]

You Girls are amazing.I have learned more in a week than I have in a life time about how to be a better Man.That may sound funny but being new to this (seeing S.P ) all this info is making my experinces that much more amazing....Thank you girls for sharing !!! Mike