Hotel Visit - Meeting downstairs.

[forkyew 225]

Yesterday, was the first time that I've attempted an outcall visit at a hotel room.  I've never met this lady before.  It was a first time visit with a known and reviewed member of this forum

10 minutes before her scheduled arrival at the Holiday Inn, I received a text telling me that I needed to meet her in the lobby and then take her to my room.  I rejected this.  I was fearful because, as I understand it, the new laws make it legal for her but illegal for us.  I didn't want to identify myself in the lobby with the front desk clerk.  She left without visiting me.

 

Amy I wrong? Is meeting in the lobby first normal protocol?  Thanks.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

If your hotel has a key card elevator, then yes, it would be the only way for her to get to your room.

I've had to do this as well at certain hotels. However, I don't see the issue you have with meeting her in the lobby. Hotels are in the business of providing accommodations for all types of meetings, including this industry. They wouldn't have batted an eye with you meeting her in the lobby. 

It's too bad this wasn't discussed in advance.  

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

7 hours ago, forkyew said:

Yesterday, was the first time that I've attempted an outcall visit at a hotel room.  I've never met this lady before.  It was a first time visit with a known and reviewed member of this forum

10 minutes before her scheduled arrival at the Holiday Inn, I received a text telling me that I needed to meet her in the lobby and then take her to my room.  I rejected this.  I was fearful because, as I understand it, the new laws make it legal for her but illegal for us.  I didn't want to identify myself in the lobby with the front desk clerk.  She left without visiting me.

 

Amy I wrong? Is meeting in the lobby first normal protocol?  Thanks.

 

I am going to say. Yes.  You were wrong.

Meeting in the lobby is normal for many hotels depending on time of night, key card entries, etc. 

 

There have been times when ladies offering incalls in hotels have had to be the ones to go down and get the client. 

 

You were wrong and honestly wasted the lady's time. May as well have given her a fake address. Basically the same result for her.  This type of action would get you blacklisted in some cases. 

 

Having said that, I understand your fear. However, if you are that nervous that you can't collect your date from the lobby of a hotel, then you may want to rethink your involvement in the hobby. 

 

Good luck. 

[minuteman06 519]

Interesting for sure, I feel in this case that better communication from both parties involved could of saved from wasting both people's time.  I don't feel the OP was so wrong, but at the same time the SP wasn't right either.  If the SP had communicated to the OP that there is no way she is walking up to the room without the OP meeting her in the lobby than there would of been ample time for the two of them to sort this out before the date made it that far.  Caulk it up to a lesson learned from both involved.  Clear communication is key!

[Boomer 33202]

I think the OP should have found a way to compensate the lady for her time and expense, all because of his insecurity.

[cat 262460]

10 hours ago, forkyew said:

 I was fearful because, as I understand it, the new laws make it legal for her but illegal for us.  I didn't want to identify myself in the lobby with the front desk clerk.  She left without visiting me.

Actually, the new laws make it completely legal for her and at that point, you have done nothing illegal unless you were silly/stupid enough to ask intimate questions via text or email. You simply contracted her company and meeting her in the lobby is not illegal. The law isn't rocket science, don't discuss details except in person and all is well...

smiles, cat

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

1 hour ago, minuteman06 said:

Interesting for sure, I feel in this case that better communication from both parties involved could of saved from wasting both people's time.  I don't feel the OP was so wrong, but at the same time the SP wasn't right either.  If the SP had communicated to the OP that there is no way she is walking up to the room without the OP meeting her in the lobby than there would of been ample time for the two of them to sort this out before the date made it that far.  Caulk it up to a lesson learned from both involved.  Clear communication is key!

 

She may not have known until arriving. She could have been stopped by staff. We don't know her side so that is a bit of an assumption on your part regarding her involvement and knowedlge. 

 

Personally I would have insist on a phone call and maybe change to meeting at the store down the street and then walking into together or opening a back door but I am going to assume based on the OPs telling that he just texted her back and said no to the lobby straight out and canceled the visit. 

 

The SP at that point has no choice really but to leave and without compensation or fault of hers. 

[Guest]

There definitely some blame on both sides as there were no attempts to compromise. To avoid this type of situation, I normally choose hotels with direct room access or secondary entrances. More private for both parties.

[MGSP 1593]

IMO the OP has to assume a significant part of the responsibility.  He's the one that initiated the call and commited to a meeting.  I fully understand his apprehension with the unforseen requirement to pickup the SP in the lobby and walk her to his room.  Shit happens. 

 

However, he should have at least offer to meet her in a discrete location and offer her some sort of negotiated compensation.  Although the actual meeting didn't occur, she nonetheless gave it her best.  When faced with unforseen circumstances, good communication and mutual respect will always lead to a better outcome than unilateral last minute cancellation.

[cyclo 30131]

I’ve met female family members, professional colleagues, friends and sp’s in hotel lobbies. How can you tell who I’m meeting? You can’t. 

 

Hotel lobbies are busy places with people coming, goIng and yes, meeting/greeting each other. Take some time to watch a desk clerk. I’ve never seen one scanning the lobby. They’re pretty busy checking people in/out, answering the phone, talking to guests, checking info on their computers and coordinating work with other staff.

 

We don’t live in a Soviet style police state where your every move is watched by somebody who will be rewarded as an informant. Your coming and going is really not interesting. You won’t draw any attention unless you’re causing a public disturbance.

 

Greet your sp warmly, exchange a few pleasantries and then move along to the elevators. 

 

I’ve never been in a Holiday Inn that required key card access to the elevators and I’m assuming that the one you were in didn’t require it. I don’t know why this sp wanted to meet you in the lobby first. I assume it was just part of her final gut check/verification before going upstairs with you. She’s at infinitely more risk of violence from a client than you are of being arrested. If she felt the need to see you in a public lobby first, be a nice confident guy and go along with her request. 

[Guest]

21 minutes ago, cyclo said:

I’ve met female family members, professional colleagues, friends and sp’s in hotel lobbies. How can you tell who I’m meeting? You can’t. 

 

Hotel lobbies are busy places with people coming, goIng and yes, meeting/greeting each other. Take some time to watch a desk clerk. I’ve never seen one scanning the lobby. They’re pretty busy checking people in/out, answering the phone, talking to guests, checking info on their computers and coordinating work with other staff.

 On two occasions I seen ladies who preferred avoiding the lobby because frequent visitors. It's not always busy and some ladies do get noticed. In both cases I met them outside and escorted them in through a side door. It's just a question of communicating concerns and find easy solutions,

[forkyew 225]

I was never given the opportunity to do anything.  I simply asked, have you been stopped in the lobby?  I then said that I find this rather awkward.  There was no opportunity for further discussion only a blunt, "It ok, honey, I left."

[forkyew 225]

2 hours ago, Greenteal said:

 On two occasions I seen ladies who preferred avoiding the lobby because frequent visitors. It's not always busy and some ladies do get noticed. In both cases I met them outside and escorted them in through a side door. It's just a question of communicating concerns and find easy solutions,

 

Exactly, this would have been fine for me, but there was zero communication from her.  Only, an abrupt insistence that I meet her downstairs, and as I said above, she had already left before I had a chance to negotiate.

[forkyew 225]

11 hours ago, MGSP said:

IMO the OP has to assume a significant part of the responsibility.  He's the one that initiated the call and commited to a meeting.  I fully understand his apprehension with the unforseen requirement to pickup the SP in the lobby and walk her to his room.  Shit happens. 

 

However, he should have at least offer to meet her in a discrete location and offer her some sort of negotiated compensation.  Although the actual meeting didn't occur, she nonetheless gave it her best.  When faced with unforseen circumstances, good communication and mutual respect will always lead to a better outcome than unilateral last minute cancellation.

 

There was no opportunity for communication.  She left the moment I expressed even a bit of apprehension.

[forkyew 225]

15 hours ago, Jessica Rain said:

 

I am going to say. Yes.  You were wrong.

Meeting in the lobby is normal for many hotels depending on time of night, key card entries, etc. 

 

There have been times when ladies offering incalls in hotels have had to be the ones to go down and get the client. 

 

You were wrong and honestly wasted the lady's time. May as well have given her a fake address. Basically the same result for her.  This type of action would get you blacklisted in some cases. 

 

Having said that, I understand your fear. However, if you are that nervous that you can't collect your date from the lobby of a hotel, then you may want to rethink your involvement in the hobby. 

 

Good luck. 

 

I think that if you're going to require this of me, if I were a client of yours, I would expect you to communicate this to me in advance.  Simply surprising me with it at the moment of your arrival, is a bit much.

 

You are wrong to assume that your clients know and understand your protocol.  You should communicate what you expect.

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

31 minutes ago, forkyew said:

 

I think that if you're going to require this of me, if I were a client of yours, I would expect you to communicate this to me in advance.  Simply surprising me with it at the moment of your arrival, is a bit much.

 

You are wrong to assume that your clients know and understand your protocol.  You should communicate what you expect.

 

No. The client/you are the one who books the hotel room for the outcall. 

 

It is the clients/your responsibility to ensure the lady is able to go to his/your room unassisted and communicate that at booking if that is what he/you insist on. 

 

As stated, many hotels have rules regarding visitors. Which is why picking up in the lobby is normal but if this was an issue for you, and you didn't make sure the hotel was able to accommodate, then the onus is on you. 

 

As for her leaving before you could communicate more - she probably felt like she was being screwed around and having her time wasted. Which is what you did. You booked, you spooked yourself while she was in the lobby and she left with nothing. That was wasting her time. Why would she bother sticking around to have more time wasted? 

 

Sorry that it is not an answer you like, but that is my answer. 

 

 

[minuteman06 519]

It can't be expected for the OP to of listed out every single scenario that he may encounter and ask the SP to respond a certain way to each one of those.  If the SP had a protocol of requiring to meet in the lobby first then she should of communicated this ahead of time to the OP.  The OP isn't going to know what they don't know meaning if they have never ran into that type of situation before how is he supposed to know what to ask.  Established SP's may not know what it is like for the shoe to be on the other foot and what runs through a hobbiest's mind all the time but, again they might because they have met several clients over the years and through communication they may have a good idea.  Back to clear communication ahead of time is key.  If the OP has never run into the lobby question before how was he supposed to know how to deal with it.  The chances of a SP meeting someone in the lobby is much higher than a hobbiest's due to the nature of why we are all here.  If this is part of her protocol then she could of mentioned that when she arrives she expects the client to meet her in the lobby.  Some SP's are from much larger cities than others and I can say with confidence that where I am from every time I walk through a lobby, the desk staff does stop and look up and watch where your heading.  It's just that tiny bit of observation on their part that can make a person a bit nervous while trying to remain discreet. 

[NotchJohnson 214129]

46 minutes ago, minuteman06 said:

It can't be expected for the OP to of listed out every single scenario that he may encounter and ask the SP to respond a certain way to each one of those.  If the SP had a protocol of requiring to meet in the lobby first then she should of communicated this ahead of time to the OP.  The OP isn't going to know what they don't know meaning if they have never ran into that type of situation before how is he supposed to know what to ask.  Established SP's may not know what it is like for the shoe to be on the other foot and what runs through a hobbiest's mind all the time but, again they might because they have met several clients over the years and through communication they may have a good idea.  Back to clear communication ahead of time is key.  If the OP has never run into the lobby question before how was he supposed to know how to deal with it.  The chances of a SP meeting someone in the lobby is much higher than a hobbiest's due to the nature of why we are all here.  If this is part of her protocol then she could of mentioned that when she arrives she expects the client to meet her in the lobby.  Some SP's are from much larger cities than others and I can say with confidence that where I am from every time I walk through a lobby, the desk staff does stop and look up and watch where your heading.  It's just that tiny bit of observation on their part that can make a person a bit nervous while trying to remain discreet. 

This is the reason why when you are visiting a sp at her hotel or vice versa, you must look like you belong in that establishment.  I'm sure it's their job to make sure that not anybody can come in and use the bathroom, find a place to rest in the lobby because it's warm or cool in the summer...etc.  So pretend that you are going to your room or waiting on someone in the lobby and things will be fine.

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

1 hour ago, minuteman06 said:

It can't be expected for the OP to of listed out every single scenario that he may encounter and ask the SP to respond a certain way to each one of those.  If the SP had a protocol of requiring to meet in the lobby first then she should of communicated this ahead of time to the OP.  The OP isn't going to know what they don't know meaning if they have never ran into that type of situation before how is he supposed to know what to ask.  Established SP's may not know what it is like for the shoe to be on the other foot and what runs through a hobbiest's mind all the time but, again they might because they have met several clients over the years and through communication they may have a good idea.  Back to clear communication ahead of time is key.  If the OP has never run into the lobby question before how was he supposed to know how to deal with it.  The chances of a SP meeting someone in the lobby is much higher than a hobbiest's due to the nature of why we are all here.  If this is part of her protocol then she could of mentioned that when she arrives she expects the client to meet her in the lobby.  Some SP's are from much larger cities than others and I can say with confidence that where I am from every time I walk through a lobby, the desk staff does stop and look up and watch where your heading.  It's just that tiny bit of observation on their part that can make a person a bit nervous while trying to remain discreet. 

 

Why are you assuming that the SP had this "protocol"?

She didn't continue with the client after he said no. He asked her but she stopped replying. In my opinion, I would have stopped replying too. 

 

Sorry but he booked the appointment, he admits she showed up 10mins early even, so there shows some of her professionalism. He declined to come get and then started asking all the questions about how's and whys. It would have been clear to me as it was probably clear to her that this appointment was not happening so why waste more time on text back and forth?

 

We have been through this game a couple of times before with men. We are quite use to the game playing which is what it would have appeared like to the SP. So we react quickly and shut it down fast. 

 

He booked, he chickened out, his paranoia but she was wrong??????  Ok. Sorry but I just can't get behind that. 

 

No one is saying being wrong is a bad thing. You learn from your mistakes and that is how he learns but he doesn't seem to want to. He wants to be told that it is her fault and he did not thing wrong. He even knows that is not the case, hence why he is fighting it so hard. He just wants verbal validation and we, as SPs, just can't give him that on this. 

 

Picking up in the lobby is a normal thing and done very often. Which was one of his questions and the other, was he wrong? Yes he was. He shouldn't be booking if he is that freaked out about that laws first and foremost. 

 

Secondly - he should have got her from the lobby. He wasted her time, set back her income quota and personally seems to be acting entitled to the moon, the stars and the sun all at the same time. Doesn't work like that. Sorry. 

 

BTW - you all know the protocol in a massage when the flip comes. Pretty sure that didn't need to be  explicitly communicated before hand. Some things just don't need to be communicated, like don't waste a ladies time and if you do, be respectful enough to compensate her when you screw her over for your own personal reasons. Which is the biggest place he is wrong in all this. Not just going to the lobby. 

 

 

 

 

[forkyew 225]

2 hours ago, Jessica Rain said:

 

Why are you assuming that the SP had this "protocol"?

She didn't continue with the client after he said no. He asked her but she stopped replying. In my opinion, I would have stopped replying too. 

 

Sorry but he booked the appointment, he admits she showed up 10mins early even, so there shows some of her professionalism. He declined to come get and then started asking all the questions about how's and whys. It would have been clear to me as it was probably clear to her that this appointment was not happening so why waste more time on text back and forth?

 

We have been through this game a couple of times before with men. We are quite use to the game playing which is what it would have appeared like to the SP. So we react quickly and shut it down fast. 

 

He booked, he chickened out, his paranoia but she was wrong??????  Ok. Sorry but I just can't get behind that. 

 

No one is saying being wrong is a bad thing. You learn from your mistakes and that is how he learns but he doesn't seem to want to. He wants to be told that it is her fault and he did not thing wrong. He even knows that is not the case, hence why he is fighting it so hard. He just wants verbal validation and we, as SPs, just can't give him that on this. 

 

Picking up in the lobby is a normal thing and done very often. Which was one of his questions and the other, was he wrong? Yes he was. He shouldn't be booking if he is that freaked out about that laws first and foremost. 

 

Secondly - he should have got her from the lobby. He wasted her time, set back her income quota and personally seems to be acting entitled to the moon, the stars and the sun all at the same time. Doesn't work like that. Sorry. 

 

BTW - you all know the protocol in a massage when the flip comes. Pretty sure that didn't need to be  explicitly communicated before hand. Some things just don't need to be communicated, like don't waste a ladies time and if you do, be respectful enough to compensate her when you screw her over for your own personal reasons. Which is the biggest place he is wrong in all this. Not just going to the lobby. 

 

 

 

 

 

“Game playing”? 

I think you’re judging me on the basis of your own negative issues.

I was never given a chance to deal with it properly.  I expressed surprise and discomfort but this is not “chickening out”.  If you can’t handle a client questioning you, and instead build a negative attitude, as you apparently have, then I think you’re in the wrong business .

 

Oh, and how do I compensate a person who simply disappears? Sorry, I think you’re really expressing your own bad attitude.

 

Furthermore, if you’ve established a policy where you’re only doing outcalls, you’re forcing me to provide place.  Please, communicate your expectations in advance.  Don’t assume I know all your rules.

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

2 hours ago, forkyew said:

 

“Game playing”? 

I think you’re judging me on the basis of your own negative issues.

I was never given a chance to deal with it properly.  I expressed surprise and discomfort but this is not “chickening out”.  If you can’t handle a client questioning you, and instead build a negative attitude, as you apparently have, then I think you’re in the wrong business .

 

Oh, and how do I compensate a person who simply disappears? Sorry, I think you’re really expressing your own bad attitude.

 

Furthermore, if you’ve established a policy where you’re only doing outcalls, you’re forcing me to provide place.  Please, communicate your expectations in advance.  Don’t assume I know all your rules.

LMAO My bad attitude???  My negative issues??? Really???  That is a joke right?!? I am judging you based on your very own comments on this thread. I don't know you from Adam and I don't know the SP in question so kinda only have your word to go on.  LOL 

 

Sweetie - I don't do outcalls to hotel where this is an issue for me. LOL. I am not getting stood up in the lobby and I am not the one who is coming here asking if I was wrong and then having a problem when someone is telling me yes. 

 

Look at your own attitude. I think it is laughable that you actually feel you are being "forced" to get/provide a place.... please...   Did someone note my opinion earlier on your entitled attitude???? Hmmmm think I called that one pretty good clearly. LOL

 

No one forced you to do anything. You chose to contact her. Not the other way around. 

 

You have yet to show where it is her "protocol" to be escorted. You fully admit that you didn't even get that far because she shut you down. You don't know why she needed you to get her from the lobby. 

 

But we know you got scared and declined. Therefore you did indeed chicken out of the appointment. She arrived, she was ready, she was there - YOU are the one that stopped it. For YOUR own reasons. Therefore YOU wasted her time and with how hard you are fighting agains this here, it is clear to anyone reading that there is no way you were going to offer her compensation. 

 

To be honest, I would love to hear her side. I don't think I am off the mark on her feelings regarding the matter. I would love to know if she did think you were playing games. It is known to happen with outcalls a lot. I didn't say that is what you were doing however. Just that she probably thought that and decided to cut her losses then. 

 

Point is - you asked a question, I and other ladies gave you an answer. All of us said the same thing. It is normal to collect the girl from the lobby and you were wrong not to do so thereby canceling the appointment to which the SP was out time and money. 

 

Don't like the answer - don't ask the question. But don't start labeling me with issues because YOU got paranoid. And there is nothing wrong with being fearful in this industry. Just own it first of all and second - don't waste other people's time because of it. Find companionship somewhere else if you can't handle the fear and risk associated with this industry. 

 

Anyway, I am good. You won't agree because you don't like the answer so I am cool to simply agree to disagree. 

 

Sorry you didn't get the validation  you were looking for, but whatevs ... that's life Moving on now ... 

[Guest]

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

Just now, Greenteal said:

Nah like I said... I am good to move on. Doesn't effect me none. LOL. 

[MGSP 1593]

Rule # 1:  The ladies are always right.

Rule # 2: When in doubt, refer to rule # 1

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, MGSP said:

Rule # 1:  The ladies are always right.

Rule # 2: When in doubt, refer to rule # 1

 

   Those rules aint worth nothing in real life.  

It was a simple breakdown in communication. Sh!t happens! Better learn from it and move on with our lives.