Etiquette Question - Tipping

[Guest M***ell***A]

Cash is king. I would be surprised if any lady was disappointed to receive cash. If we don't need extra money for bills then we can buy something we want, most of us love to shop! lol If you have concerns about her perceiving a gift the wrong way cash is a good way to avoid that too. If you are worried about it seeming impersonal then perhaps a small gift (maybe a fave wine or tea or gift card) and the rest cash. I said cash a lot in this small paragraph! lol

 

Just one lady's opinion :)

 

*Extra thoughts*

 

Was just thinking maybe a fun and more personal way to give cash could be origami flowers using money, certainly shows some effort! lol Might be tricky with these new bills though! lol

 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=cash+origami+flower

[WealthyCowboy 5281]

Thanks Kelly and Michelle. I appreciate getting a woman's perspective on this. Especially as your are both MA's and in Ottawa, like me.

 

I was thinking along the same lines as Kelly because personal tangible gifts may pose a problem if the lady is attached. In my case, the lady has told me she is single, but I have no way of knowing if that is just a line to make me feel more comfortable. I'd like to think I can trust her word. In any case, it does not matter to me and I'd honestly rather she not talk about another man while we're together. So it's a win-win.

 

Michelle raises a good point: a combination of a small gesture that isn't too personal and cash/gift card/Visa would be the best of both. It shows some thought and takes care of her.

 

Another question: would it be typical or expected to give a gift to someone you've only seen once, but plan on repeating? For example, if I have recently seen an MA once in December, is that different from someone you have seen several times?

 

And I realize that some guys don't give gifts at all and others will be generous, etc. But I'm just curious about the ''norm'' or ''customs'' if there is such a thing.

[Kellyxo 11682]

I can only speak for myself, but If this is a lady you intend to see multiple times a gift or good tip is a great way to establish yourself in her mind.

 

She will look forward to your next visit and she will remember you clearly when you book.

 

If you are asking for the "norm". Any client who has become regular and special to me has always established that with respect and generosity upfront.

 

Kelly

[WealthyCowboy 5281]

I always tip a MA, but I think we're talking about above and beyond that here. More particular, Christmas gifts.

 

Kelly, I am curious if you have attended the CMJ Christmas parties and, if so, have gifts been provided to hostesses by members? I ask because it would be difficult for me to see all the hostesses individually at that time of year.

 

I am concerned that giving a gift at the party to one lady and not another may hurt someone's feelings or be rude. Providing a gift to a hostess I've never met before seems odd to me, as generous of a person I can be.

The obvious answer is that everyone likes to receive a gift and everyone needs money, but does that make sense?

 

So what then - discretely provide a gift to each CMJ hostess I've seen this past year? (including you - yes, we've met before, and you're great :icon_smile:)

What if I do not see my previous hostesses at the Christmas party and not again for several weeks or months? Perhaps tipping the next time would address that?

[Kellyxo 11682]

Again you are overthinking it.

 

Your relationship with each girl is different. Nothing is expected. No one else will be concerned with what you bring another lady.

 

You are asking what would be appreciated between yourself and your chosen lady. If you like her and want to be generous give her gifts and money. It's not expected but it's remembered and appreciated. You will both end up happy

 

 

Kelly

[WealthyCowboy 5281]

You're probably right. I plead guilty to overthinking. :icon_lol: I just like the hostesses so much and want to keep them all happy.

 

:ThankYou:

 

I guess I'm wondering about Girl Talk in the MA spa setting, as I expect that hostesses get to chat with each other quite a bit in between appointments. Would gifts received be kept private between the member and the hostess?

[Ice4fun 78407]

I totally get the Idea that Cash is always a good gift and will be appreciated by everyone.

 

I think that if you are giving significant non-cash gifts you need to understand the ladies situation well so that you don't put her in a difficult situation.

 

That said I have to admit for ladies I have seen regularly I like the idea of actually purchasing them something... I think I like the idea of thinking about them and their style... what they like and then actually selecting something for them.

 

But that may just be me :)

 

 

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[Guest M***ell***A]

My view on tips and especially gifts (no matter what time of year or occasion) is they are never expected but always appreciated, any and all of them. Be it a 10$ tip or a very luxurious and/or thoughtful item purchased for a specific holiday or occasion I always find it flattering and touching that a visitor wants to go above and beyond what is required. I generally have a pretty good memory for people anyway so it's not really something I need to remember you, how you treat me is how I remember you... But of course I don't forget big tips or gifts either! lol

 

Can't really help with the question of gifts at parties but I agree that you may be over thinking it a bit ;)

 

Just my personal feelings on the matter :)

[WealthyCowboy 5281]

It's nice to hear that whatever you can give will be appreciated, but I would see $10 as more for tipping after a massage than for a gift.

 

Btw I find $10 really cheap as a tip unless the experience was downright unpleasant and I urge all men everywhere right now to do better than that. Surely, one can come up with a bit more (even if it means waiting a week). I suspect many do. To each their own though.

 

But for gifts, I'd hate to be the guy to put $10 or $20 in a Christmas card. I think if I only had $10-$20 to spare (and that's ok - I started out with $0 in my pockets when I left home so I know a thing or two about that), but I'd go for a bottle of wine instead of a money gift.

 

Am I wrong? Is cash still king? (Am I thinking too much again?)

[conquistador 18487]

well on lady on here said cash is king, michelle ma...and i would agree.

 

alot of times it takes time to go to a store and get a gift card and such, so for me if i was to give extra it would be in cash. What that value is 1) what i can afford and 2) what my connection is with that person.

 

do what you think is right, but don't overthink it ;) lol

 

i mean if you give a girl $100 above what the session cost was, i'm sure she would be more than happy and unexpecting. See you do something above what they would charge and i would think would be very appreciative of that.

 

if i see a girl more than another, then likely i would give more.

 

don't think about, just do it :)

[mrgreen760 37785]

I've always believed my ongoing patronage was like a gift or tip. That being said I have gifted but always something unique to me and that just might be remembered. A pint of a favored Häagen-Dazs ice cream, a used book about a local turn of the century feminist and the memorable thing about it was the original owner was from her hometown, a steak that I knew would eat fabulously (I am a meat expert), black raspberries from my garden and music.

 

All things that took some thought, showed I listen and would and could be easily explained.

 

Peace

MG

[gimlee25 366]

That's an interesting perspective but it seems questionable to me. When I see a woman in this environment I am seeing her because she wants my money and I want other things. It sounds entitled to say that because you are a repeat client that you don't need to tip. Tipping is optional but I don't think you need to justify beyond saying choose not to. In my perspective if I am bringing the woman something special to me, like a book or music it is to enhance my gfe fantasy. I don't expect that she sees them as meaningful gifts to her. They are props in a role play. I think that once we rip away our own agenda, the only thing that the lady wants from us, like someone mentioned before is cash. If I want to reward her with a gift it will be by giving her the one thing she is asking for, on top of any props I might bring along. I think that the reputable women who have already given their feedback quite clearly have a better perspective on what a woman would like than we do. I'll follow their advice.

 

I also bring meat to my visits but I expect her to be the expert with it.

 

 

DS

[LeeRichards 177238]

That's an interesting perspective but it seems questionable to me. When I see a woman in this environment I am seeing her because she wants my money and I want other things. It sounds entitled to say that because you are a repeat client that you don't need to tip. Tipping is optional but I don't think you need to justify beyond saying choose not to. In my perspective if I am bringing the woman something special to me, like a book or music it is to enhance my gfe fantasy. I don't expect that she sees them as meaningful gifts to her. They are props in a role play. I think that once we rip away our own agenda, the only thing that the lady wants from us, like someone mentioned before is cash. If I want to reward her with a gift it will be by giving her the one thing she is asking for, on top of any props I might bring along. I think that the reputable women who have already given their feedback quite clearly have a better perspective on what a woman would like than we do. I'll follow their advice.

 

I also bring meat to my visits but I expect her to be the expert with it.

 

 

DS

 

I believe this can happen :) because the two peeps actually have talked and communicated a tad bit about interests ..... and not necessarily meat .... and perhaps "a book" or "music" may have mutual meaning to both parties ??

 

Just a thought.

 

As for me.... I love gifting ... just cause :) I dont believe in rewards.

[Ice4fun 78407]

That's an interesting perspective but it seems questionable to me. When I see a woman in this environment I am seeing her because she wants my money and I want other things. It sounds entitled to say that because you are a repeat client that you don't need to tip. Tipping is optional but I don't think you need to justify beyond saying choose not to. In my perspective if I am bringing the woman something special to me, like a book or music it is to enhance my gfe fantasy. I don't expect that she sees them as meaningful gifts to her. They are props in a role play. I think that once we rip away our own agenda, the only thing that the lady wants from us, like someone mentioned before is cash. If I want to reward her with a gift it will be by giving her the one thing she is asking for, on top of any props I might bring along. I think that the reputable women who have already given their feedback quite clearly have a better perspective on what a woman would like than we do. I'll follow their advice.

 

I also bring meat to my visits but I expect her to be the expert with it.

 

 

DS

 

Certainly there is a great deal of truth in what you are saying and of course the lady is seeing you as part of her business so the financial payment for the service received is of primary importance.

 

That said I feel there can be personal connections that develop especially in situations where you see the lady on a frequent basis and that the overall relationship can be enhanced when some thought is put into the purchase of a gift for the individual.

 

There is no right answer to this question as gift... tip... and nothing are all valid options. Reputable ladies don't expect extras but who does not like to be remembered with a little something extra.

 

This thread has focused on gifts given to ladies but over the years I have been on occasion the recipient of some very thoughtful gifts from ladies I have seen regularly who have remembered me on my birthday or christmas.... these gifts were never expected but certainly enhanced our relationships and demonstrated that while we had a business relationship that we could be friends too.

 

Just my Opinion

 

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[WealthyCowboy 5281]

I respectfully and humbly disagree with some of what Deepstrut is saying, although I understand his comments very well.

 

I realize that the basis of the arrangement is money. That being said, my interactions have not been devoid of human sentiments.

 

Now I am not naive in thinking that the ladies don't want to be compensated. I think almost everyone wants to earn as much $ as possible, regardless of the industry. But it just doesn't sit right with me that because a woman is in this industry, they cannot enjoy a non-monetary gift or that gifts can't have a personal (yet neutral) touch that they could still bring home and be unnoticed by family or SO. I guess the answer is that every woman in this industry is different. Some will want strictly $ and others will appreciate anything received, and all of that is ok. It's a personal preference based on their situation.

 

My thought is that I would like the gift to be memorable and a reflection of me. Perhaps in am in left field, but when it comes to MA's I would be more willing to offer a $ gift higher than the average guy so as to stand out and to be remembered. This is more in line with what Conquistador was saying earlier in this thread.

 

The rule seems to be: know the lady and know thyself.

[Guest M***ell***A]

Tipping in this industry is very different from other industries. Like at a salon my tip is a direct reflection of how happy I am with my hair but I don't feel the same way about it in this business. I think it's important to remember that the required amount to spend time with the lady of your choice isn't peanuts to start with and maybe a $10 tip is all someone can afford and does not at all reflect the fact that their time was not as enjoyable as the guy that tipped me $50. Tipping is not required or expected at all. This is not like a restaurant where you have to tip a minimum % no matter how shitty that waitress/waiter was and a really big tip is expected when they are good (I understand why tipping is expected and that the minimum wage for wait staff is considerably lower and that they are also taxed on tips and I do adhere to this practice, however I think the whole system of tipping in the services industry is bs. A tip is a gratuity and should only be given in appreciation for service that is above the norm. I've been a waitress and it sucks to work your ass off and give it 110% but that lazy employee who does the bare minimum still expects to get the same % tip as a standard? The system encourages laziness if you ask me... but I digress).

 

Anyway I guess my point is I never expect tips or gifts and am always delighted to receive one regardless of the amount or monetary value. Visitors should never feel like they have to tip at all and they certainly should never feel like they have to tip a minimum amount. Having known many ladies in the biz over the years I would say it's been my experience that most ladies feel the same way.

 

In regard to personal connections, we are professionals but we are still people. Real people with all the emotions, insecurities, dreams, fears and desires as any other person. Of course we develop real genuine feelings for certain people over time...

 

But this is all just one lady's opinion :)

 

It's nice to hear that whatever you can give will be appreciated, but I would see $10 as more for tipping after a massage than for a gift.

 

Btw I find $10 really cheap as a tip unless the experience was downright unpleasant and I urge all men everywhere right now to do better than that. Surely, one can come up with a bit more (even if it means waiting a week). I suspect many do. To each their own though.

 

But for gifts, I'd hate to be the guy to put $10 or $20 in a Christmas card. I think if I only had $10-$20 to spare (and that's ok - I started out with $0 in my pockets when I left home so I know a thing or two about that), but I'd go for a bottle of wine instead of a money gift.

 

Am I wrong? Is cash still king? (Am I thinking too much again?)

[roamingguy 300292]

To me the donation is for the lady's time and companionship. Now strictly speaking, if just a business arrangement that should be fine.

But and speaking just for me, the human connection made has an intangible value that far exceeds the donation asked for. A tip and gift are just a way for me to show my appreciation to the lady for the companionship she provided.

Just one minor comment. I'm not worried about standing out compared to other clients. First I don't know all the lady's clients (nor is it my business)

and second, all I can be is the best client I can be.

Anyhow, a rambling

 

RG

[Sylvia Star 660]

@ Wealthy Cowboy- I think those are all wonderful ideas. What more could a girl want?

[Sylvia Star 660]

I respectfully and humbly disagree with some of what Deepstrut is saying, although I understand his comments very well.

 

I realize that the basis of the arrangement is money. That being said, my interactions have not been devoid of human sentiments.

 

Now I am not naïve in thinking that the ladies don't want to be compensated. I think almost everyone wants to earn as much $ as possible, regardless of the industry. But it just doesn't sit right with me that because a woman is in this industry, they cannot enjoy a non-monetary gift or that gifts can't have a personal (yet neutral) touch that they could still bring home and be unnoticed by family or SO. I guess the answer is that every woman in this industry is different. Some will want strictly $ and others will appreciate anything received, and all of that is ok. It's a personal preference based on their situation.

 

My thought is that I would like the gift to be memorable and a reflection of me. Perhaps in am in left field, but when it comes to MA's I would be more willing to offer a $ gift higher than the average guy so as to stand out and to be remembered. This is more in line with what Conquistador was saying earlier in this thread.

 

The rule seems to be: know the lady and know thyself.

 

 

Honestly, if I receive something extra from a client, I am always pleased, whether it be money, or a gift. Even the littlest surprises are great. It's the thought that counts, call me sentimental I guess. I have received and appreciated a variety of little extras besides money. Examples; a jar of honey, a single rose, a timmies card.

[waterat 20911]

Well we've added a few more pages to an 'older' thread with a sticky attached but I don't know that we've added anything that hadn't already been said.

 

Perhaps we're over-thinking: tips should feel comfortable being offered and received. Simple.

 

I know I've posted this somewhere before (along with the story behind it):

 

The difference between a Canuck and a Canoe?

 

Canoes tip.

[Guest D***el B***e]

Interesting thread, I don't think I've ever posted here. I'm generally a big tipper when I receive services, whether it be a restaurant, my hairdresser, or the Friday night pizza delivery. Same thing when I see a lady; if I don't know her too well it's usually a safe gift card like Sephora or Mac (who doesn't like make up and stuff). Once I know her a bit more I tailor my tips based on what I know, what we talked about, or what she likes. If you go for perfume, be careful, know what you're buying, some ladies are allergic to certain scents, while other swear by one brand or make only. There's no sense bringing a bottle of wine if she doesn't drink, so wine is not necessarily a ringer. Everyone is different so I try to be accommodating. I wouldn't say cash is king but once you know a lady more than another one you may discover she prefers cash over other goods. It's all good for me but I always tip big.

[Taurus4u 120]

- always tip except in the face of worse possible service

[woodstick 100]

I try to be as aware as possible about the SP's situation, and always tip if the appointment goes as planned. Maybe I am a soft touch, but I am sympathetic to the potential financial plight of an SP. Like sports figures, there are only so many years that a woman can effectively make money this way.

[Maverickofregina 110]

Hi everybody. Been reading some posts and picking up a lot of great perspectives. I have an appointment with a gal today and will keep all this in mind. Thanks

[Jason777Downtown 100]

I have an appointment tomorrow for my first ever massage, professional or otherwise. Lot of info on here but I think the tip should reflect the services offered and how well they were done.

 

Plus, we are allowed to be a newb on our first one right? :)