Would you give your full legal name to an SP?

[etasman2000 15994]

When a client says and acts like he is taking more risk than I am, it's completely thoughtless.

 

As a client it is very easy to mitigate the risk of being outed and still provide the verification needed to satisfy security/safety requirements. That is, use a third party verification service aka adult verification service.

[EmilyRushton 253372]

Ladies, how do you know you're getting a real name from the client? How does this name make things safer for you? Is it just giving you a false sense of security, or real security?

 

I can walk into any phone kiosk and get a pay as you go phone under the name "Mike Hunt" and now when I phone you my name is Mike Hunt. How does this make things safer? I don't see it.

 

If I have any doubt, I will screen you at work or ask you for ID when you arrive for our encounter. If you wish to deceive me, I will not visit with you.

 

I do not even understand why someone in this day and age would want to be deceitful to another person. One day I really do hope that more and more ladies crack down on the screening then, less BS like this will be going on

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Ladies, how do you know you're getting a real name from the client? How does this name make things safer for you? Is it just giving you a false sense of security, or real security?

 

I can walk into any phone kiosk and get a pay as you go phone under the name "Mike Hunt" and now when I phone you my name is Mike Hunt. How does this make things safer? I don't see it.

I've insisted on real-name verification when I felt it necessary. I insisted on either a landline or work number. In the case of a landline, I look it up on canada411.ca and see that the name matches the name he gave me. In the case of a business, I look up the number to make sure it's a legit business (not a small Mom and Pop place where someone could lie about the name) and preferably his name on the company website. Then I call the receptionist and ask to speak with *real name*. Obviously when I call at work, we don't talk business. I would not accept a cell phone as real name verification.

 

When I do this, I feel confident I have the gentleman's real name. How does this make us less safe? Well, predators are much less likely to assault/rob/otherwise abuse you if you know a) their real name b) where they live c) where they work.

 

I don't understand why that's hard to see. I know most of you on CERB are good guys and wouldn't screw us around anyways, but wouldn't you be deterred to rob/assault a lady based on the fact that she knows where you live/work and has ample information to give the police? It's important to remember that predators do exist, and you guys don't see the "bad date" list and the shit that happens.

 

This is not something I implement very often, but I will when I feel it's necessary as my safety is #1.

 

Additional Comments:

No one is saying your safety is less important.

What people are trying to say is you do take FAR less risk. You, as a client, are never taking as much risk as your escort.

And my life is far more important than your name.

 

You might get ripped off, be put on a black list...

But I may be chopped up into little pieces and dumped into a ditch, not only losing my life, but deeply hurting those who are close to me.

 

It's not nice and even I don't like thinking about it, but it's a reality.

To this day there are serial killers out there, uncaught, taking their anger out on prostitutes of all types. (street, escort, ect.)

 

When a client says and acts like he is taking more risk than I am, it's completely thoughtless.

I completely agree. Until there has been a "Robert Pickton" Escort who solicits clients and then kills them, I won't consider the risk a client takes as anymore near similar to the risk an SP or MA takes.

[PistolPete 61421]

I did not realize that there was a lot of BS going on out there, BUT as Berlin said and is spot on "It's much more likely that you were a dickhead than it is that she was trying to be vindictive".

 

All I want is to be in the arms of a beautiful lady, have great sensual sex,pleasure each other :) then we part and go our ways, you know NSA. It is just a matter on how some guys conduct themselves through some basic questions, and if you seem to be suspicious you are probably shit out of luck for a date.

 

 

Yes, I agree with the safety issue for all ladies is paramount. Now I have given my name years back to a couple of ladies, and no issues came about of it. Lately, I have used my Cerb handle, or booking with 1st name Pete(Which is of course my real 1st name), and give correct contact number for the lady.

 

I can undertsand that lady who is touring into unfamiliar waters and knows jack shit about the city,requires that screening personal information for her benefit and safety, again I had no issue with it back then,but now I have had booked with Cerb handle and first name, so I would think she has had verified with other ladies.

 

The same could be said if I was travelling to a out of town city, I have no issue giving a lady my name,after all who is suppose to have the "balls" and not hide behind alais? The little more forth coming you are, and show some intregity and honesty both parties will really enjoy themselves.

 

 

Local ladies I do believe(I could be wrong) are sharing the information on "Johnnycumlately" is he is good client and is reputable,clean,shows respect to a lady.

 

On the other hand "Johnnyrottenteeth" is a bad date, shows up under the influence,is dirty,shows lack of respect towards a lady by swearing all the time, or likes to get rough.

 

The ball is in the gents court on this subject.

 

 

 

 

If I have any doubt, I will screen you at work or ask you for ID when you arrive for our encounter. If you wish to deceive me, I will not visit with you.

 

I do not even understand why someone in this day and age would want to be deceitful to another person. One day I really do hope that more and more ladies crack down on the screening then, less BS like this will be going on

[kingBong 93]

When asked for name, or where I works or anything else I simple say I will share( like you show me yours, I'll show you mine)

 

Well said. I think if an SP asks for the legal full name she should be ready to give hers. It is a tust question and it works both ways. Who tells me that the SP is not some sicko herself that can do exactly what Chavez described?

I understand that some SPs want to be safe, but I just don't agree about the means. I personally feel that asking for my full legal name is invading my privacy, and I don't feel comfortable sharing, especially with a touring SP that is out of town, and that I have never met before.

 

I also know and some of you do too that one SP has serious mental problems. Do not get me wrong I sympathize with people who have mental problems a lot and this is not about that. But who says that this SP (with a severe paranoia problem) won't go to the police saying that I hit her or raped her or whatever is in her mind? I know this one SP with serious mental problems, but there are probably more...(by the way don't ask me for the name of this SP because I will not give it to you).

 

For me the risks just outweight the benefits. If we ever become like the States where date deck is becoming a pandemic, then I will just have to quit hobbying altogether!

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Well said. I think if an SP asks for the legal full name she should be ready to give hers. It is a tust question and it works both ways. Who tells me that the SP is not some sicko herself that can do exactly what Chavez described?

I think you have been missing the point that has been expressed so many times in this thread, but I will express it one more time: *Ladies working in this industry face violence at an exponential rate in comparison to Gents who hobby.*

 

How do you know I'm not some sicko? Well, do your research! A reputable lady who has reviews and has been around for awhile with no complaints is your best bet!

I also know and some of you do too that one SP has serious mental problems. Do not get me wrong I sympathize with people who have mental problems a lot and this is not about that. But who says that this SP (with a severe paranoia problem) won't go to the police saying that I hit her or raped her or whatever is in her mind? I know this one SP with serious mental problems, but there are probably more...(by the way don't ask me for the name of this SP because I will not give it to you).

Wow, talk about stigma and prejudice! If you think a lady may have severe mental problems, don't book with her. It is my experience that the quality providers with the strictest screening also have the best head on their shoulders.

For me the risks just outweight the benefits.

Then don't book with the ladies who request it, and stop complaining about those of us who are proactive about our safety.

If we ever become like the States where date deck is becoming a pandemic, then I will just have to quit hobbying altogether!

Again, it's your choice, but don't expect us to be heartbroken or complain.

[kingBong 93]

Wow' date=' talk about stigma and prejudice! If you think a lady may have severe mental problems, don't book with he.[/quote']

 

Well I don't know all the SPs! And nobody is guaranteeing me that the SP I will see is sane.

 

Then don't book with the ladies who request it' date=' and stop complaining about those of us who are proactive about our safety.[/quote']

 

I am not complaining: I started the thread asking the MALE members about their feedback on the issue. I do understand the perspective of the SP but I don't have to agree with it because it affects me and it could affect other people around me.

 

Again' date=' it's your choice, but don't expect us to be heartbroken or complain.[/quote']

 

And it is my choice indeed!

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

King Bong, I have worked very hard to gain and maintain a stellar reputation here on CERB. I am very upfront and fortright with my comments and if you take the time to read ladies posts you will see that we are here to enhance and make your life more pleasant, much more. Why would we "all of a sudden "change this out of the blue. I know several ladies on this board and I do not believe they have mental problems, nor do I. Perhaps hobbying is just not for you if you don't want to follow protocol as everyone else does.

 

My persoanl feeliing if a gentleman is not upfront in the beginning I run the risk of being abused in some way and that is something I am not willing to tolerate or risk. Please think about this and see if from a ladies perspective.

 

I am trusted with gentleman's names numbers, and places of employment and I would never put anyone in a position to regrett the trust they have placed in me. I am sure the rest of the ladies will echo this as we have all worked hard to be respected and just wish for that same respect to be returned to us.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Well I don't know all the SPs! And nobody is guaranteeing me that the SP I will see is sane.

What do you want, a certificate from our doctor?

 

Do you question the sanity of contractors who come into your home to do work? Of the person who delivers your paper? The person who cuts your hair?

 

It's offensive to question our sanity just because of our chosen occupation. You're perpetuating the stigma that sex workers are mentally ill.

 

If you really think there is a good chance that we are manipulative, vindictive, mentally ill women, then why are you interested in spending your time and money on us?

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I started the thread asking the MALE members about their feedback on the issue.

 

When you start a thread, be prepared ANYONE with an opinion to reply!

[mrgreen760 37785]

My experience is that I've never been asked for my name or to provide a reference for that matter...must be my wit and charm..:) My phone is never blocked. It might be that I like to communicate quite a bit before deciding to pull the trigger.

 

To be honest I'm not sure how I'd respond to either request, I'll make that call if or when it comes up.

 

 

Peace

MG

[Chanel Reign 28097]

Hmmmm.

 

One thing that is glaringly missing here, unless I missed it; is that we are doubly at risk.

 

You are coming into an SP's home. You know the location, or you wouldn't be there. Whats to say YOU don't do a reverse lookup with the address? You then also have the SP's land line number and their real name if the account is in their name. That is another risk we take.

 

So I "share" my calendar with one person. They know who and when I am seeing someone. No last names, just first. Outcalls require that I make a call once there and when I'm leaving or a return call will occur.

 

Most of the Gents I see are regulars and truly gentlemen in their demeanor. Some I do know the names of, some personal info they choose to share and after a time I share as well. My life before my newish career was fairly pedestrian so I have few skeletons hanging around. Some Hobbiests also consider a regular SP their Muse if they trust and click well with each other.

 

I respect all my visitors, regular or otherwise, and their requirements to ensure they can continue being a Hobbiest.

 

The only thing I can say, is please don't ask me to call you by your CERB handle. Some of you are very clever or witty or downright funny; and if you hit the sweet spot, I'll lose it calling you Lunchtimelickerisme or something. Be careful, or I'll decide your name myself if you do that! :wink:

[MiaBella 10988]

Well said. I think if an SP asks for the legal full name she should be ready to give hers. It is a tust question and it works both ways. Who tells me that the SP is not some sicko herself that can do exactly what Chavez described?

I understand that some SPs want to be safe, but I just don't agree about the means. I personally feel that asking for my full legal name is invading my privacy, and I don't feel comfortable sharing, especially with a touring SP that is out of town, and that I have never met before.

 

I also know and some of you do too that one SP has serious mental problems. Do not get me wrong I sympathize with people who have mental problems a lot and this is not about that. But who says that this SP (with a severe paranoia problem) won't go to the police saying that I hit her or raped her or whatever is in her mind? I know this one SP with serious mental problems, but there are probably more...(by the way don't ask me for the name of this SP because I will not give it to you).

 

For me the risks just outweight the benefits. If we ever become like the States where date deck is becoming a pandemic, then I will just have to quit hobbying altogether!

 

Sorry, but this whole "two way Street" argument seems to only be taken as far as you would like it to, to prove your point.

 

Gentlemen: most of you are amazing so please ignore this as it is just to prove my point.

 

Frankly, how do I not know that maybe YOU are mentally unstable and maybe wont take the info you know about me to the extreme?

Say you visit me and during the session I dont provide something that you are very insistant on, such as bbbj. Fine. So you leave, unhappy, and lose your shit and flip!

You now have my location, which can obviously reveal my REAL FULL name, my website info, my contact info, etc. Who is to say that just because I didn't Blow You without a condom that you wont reveal all my info and slander my name and put me at risk.

Because of your UNSTABLE MIND I have just lost MY LIVELYHOOD, all my security of my incall. and I'm put at Extreme risk.

You could easily STEAL FROM ME when you visit me(or after), BLACKMAIL ME with the threat of exposing my job, etc.

 

Nice TWO WAY STREET huh?

 

NEVER use mental health as a reason as a way to take it to an extreme and insult someone. It's ugly and uncalled for, as you can now see. We are in the same spot you are.

If you can't trust others because of YOUR EXTREME PARANOIA and NARCISSISM, than why in the world would I trust you and invite you into my home? What makes you so important that I would pretty much destroy my whole career just to SPITE you?!

It seems to me that you've lost site of the fact that to you, this is a hobby. It provides you with a luxury that you desire.

To me, this is my livelyhood, my job. Not something I do for entertainment.

[crankshaft25 125]

this might be a little off topic but I have never been to an SP or MP before so I would not be able to provide references to check. In this case what other ways do you ladies use to check on potential clients?

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

this might be a little off topic but I have never been to an SP or MP before so I would not be able to provide references to check. In this case what other ways do you ladies use to check on potential clients?

 

Here are a few examples...

 

REAL legal name (first and last) accompanied by one or a few of the following:

- Home address and landline

- a verifiable cell phone number

-Work address and phone number

- Identification such as driver's license, health card

- 3rd party adult verification services

 

Ladies, feel free to add other screening method options.

[crankshaft25 125]

Here are a few examples...

 

REAL legal name (first and last) accompanied by one or a few of the following:

- Home address and landline

- a verifiable cell phone number

-Work address and phone number

- Identification such as driver's license, health card

- 3rd party adult verification services

 

Ladies, feel free to add other screening method options.

well that's better than this one girl I dated way back and had her cousin do checks on me with CSIS (which I of course passed with flying colours) LOL

[PistolPete 61421]

Do you promise to have me up against the wall,strip search me and then frisk me from head to toe too ;)

 

 

Here are a few examples...

 

REAL legal name (first and last) accompanied by one or a few of the following:

- Home address and landline

- a verifiable cell phone number

-Work address and phone number

- Identification such as driver's license, health card

- 3rd party adult verification services

 

Ladies, feel free to add other screening method options.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Well said. I think if an SP asks for the legal full name she should be ready to give hers. It is a tust question and it works both ways. Who tells me that the SP is not some sicko herself that can do exactly what Chavez described?

I understand that some SPs want to be safe, but I just don't agree about the means. I personally feel that asking for my full legal name is invading my privacy, and I don't feel comfortable sharing, especially with a touring SP that is out of town, and that I have never met before.

 

I also know and some of you do too that one SP has serious mental problems. Do not get me wrong I sympathize with people who have mental problems a lot and this is not about that. But who says that this SP (with a severe paranoia problem) won't go to the police saying that I hit her or raped her or whatever is in her mind? I know this one SP with serious mental problems, but there are probably more...(by the way don't ask me for the name of this SP because I will not give it to you).

 

For me the risks just outweight the benefits. If we ever become like the States where date deck is becoming a pandemic, then I will just have to quit hobbying altogether!

 

 

We're invading your privacy asking for your name, but you do not see that we are taking you into our very private homes and incall locations?

 

Honestly, no one gives a shit who you are, we just want the peace of mind of knowing that if you rape us, rob us, harass us, stalk us, or otherwise hurt us, we have some way of dealing with the situation.

 

And while I'm at it, please quit spreading such vicious BS--Sex workers are not all mentally ill and if you think one of us is, then don't book with her, but don't tar us all with the same brush.

 

If the risks are so great to you, then why are you hobbying in the first place?

 

There is some serious narcissism going on here, and as I said above, no one really gives a shit who you are.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Not trying to be offensive but this looks childish to me and if arrangements between an SP/MP and a hobbyist were based on 'I do it if you do it' there would be no encounter unless he'd be willing to give his personal or work address. What some don't understand is each part provides the information needed in order for the encounter to take place and yes, requests vary on both parts and we have to learn to respect that whether we agree/will provide it or not that is the person's preference.

 

I give you mine, if you give me yours; but after we meet and only if you ask.

 

Well said. I think if an SP asks for the legal full name she should be ready to give hers. It is a tust question and it works both ways.

 

Mia took the words out of my mouth. How does the lady a gentleman is interested in meeting knows he's not mentally ill? The risk is there for both parts. And yes, the points she mentioned are of course things that would not be any pretty but my major concern about being with an as you called 'insane' person would be my safety, some mentally ill people have no control over their actions and can actually be out of reality and that can have serious consequences.

 

I also know and some of you do too that one SP has serious mental problems. Do not get me wrong I sympathize with people who have mental problems a lot and this is not about that. But who says that this SP (with a severe paranoia problem) won't go to the police saying that I hit her or raped her or whatever is in her mind? I know this one SP with serious mental problems, but there are probably more...(by the way don't ask me for the name of this SP because I will not give it to you).

 

Is too bad you had a bad situation/misunderstanding with an SP but again, us ladies have had bad dates too and that does not make us think all guys will be the same, it just makes us be more careful and pay more attention on certain aspects we probably didn't consider before just like you guys do. We learn from experiences good or bad and move on, if one is not able to do so then this is not for him/her.

[Old Dog 179138]

Stepping back... and as a father of two beautiful daughters, I am damn sure that if they are going out with a guy, I know his name, address, telephone number, the make and model of his car and where he works. Nothing is more important than the safety of my girls.

 

The same applies here. It's simple, you do anything and everything that you can to ensure your own personal safety and the safety of those you love and cherish.

 

Just my two cents... carry on.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Wow ... People are getting really cranky.

 

To the guys: don't argue with the ladies over this ... They have every right to make this a requirement, and I understand why having heard many stories from the ladies that make me shiver or at least make me look at the floor in disbelief that a guy could be that mean. As I said, I would never complain about a lady insisting on this; I would simply, and respectfully, choose not to see her.

 

To the ladies: don't argue with the guys that want to be discrete and not share that information. And I would never ask a lady for their personal information. And don't denigrate guys who have a legitimate concern about privacy.

 

Comparing privacy (guys) versus safety (gals) is an apples to oranges comparison and neither can claim a higher moral ground BUT both need to be

equally, and completely, respected.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Reading some posts so far I think what may be likely missing is that again like any other subject it is a personal choice that I think we have to respect that choice. It is a personal choice for an SP to ask for full name (and likely even more like work address or work number!!!!!), and also it is a personal choice for the hobbyist to provide (as some have indicated they have no problem with) or decline (again some have indicated they would). If they both match on their requirements then they will meet, otherwise they won't. and likely it is the hobbyist who will move to the next SP who will better match his requirements.

 

Please bear in mind though that it is a lot riskier for an SP to take someone in her private home that a hobbyists. Hobbyists don't get raped, stalked, assaulted, murdered. SPs (God forbid) are at risk for all those. It is an unfortunate reality and statistics speaks well for itself.

 

Additional comments:

 

Kubrickfan, I posted mine right after yours (before seeing your comments) and again I very much agree with you. Too bad I couldn't give you more rep points.

[mrrnice2 157005]

The decision of whether to give a full and real name if asked is entirely up to the individual. If it is requested, and for your own personal reasons you choose not to do so, then so be it and accept it.

 

I know that I am fortunate in that I do not have any reason whereby I need to protect my identity from anyone in regards to this, SP's, friends or family. I would prefer that my friends and family not know, but if they find out then I am totally comfortable that they would understand.

 

That in itself is a rather sad statement isn't it, that this activity because of social "norms," is best left unstated. We have a long way to go don't we, and I mean both ladies and men with that.

 

Regardless I wish to reiterate something written earlier. Whatever is required by a SP that will alleviate their concern for their own personal safety is valid. If their requirement does not meet your comfort level, then there are alternatives I am sure, and one should respect their wishes and efforts that they make to ensure their own personal safety.

 

IT is THEIR space, THEIR identity and THEIR body and from my perspective THEY have a great deal more to lose than I should they not take basic common sense precautions.

 

It has been said, and I can see it in post after post, in forum after forum, that the vast majority of men here are discreet, respectful, and people that any of us would be proud to call a friend. Let's not lose that in the discussion.

 

Again, ladies, be careful and do what you need to do to be secure.

[kingBong 93]

I don't know what you are talking about...re-read my post.

 

What do you want' date=' a certificate from our doctor?

 

Do you question the sanity of contractors who come into your home to do work? Of the person who delivers your paper? The person who cuts your hair?

 

It's offensive to question our sanity just because of our chosen occupation. You're perpetuating the stigma that sex workers are mentally ill.

 

If you really think there is a good chance that we are manipulative, vindictive, mentally ill women, then why are you interested in spending your time and money on us?[/quote']

 

Additional Comments:

When you start a thread, be prepared ANYONE with an opinion to reply!

 

My bad. I should have made it explicit that I was looking for feedback from Male members only, but I thought that implicitly it was clear...

 

Now the thread that was about clients' privacy has been hijacked.

 

I am asking the mod to close it.

 

Mod, please close this thread.

[Guest Ni**t*****t]

Know what? I think this is a comfort issue. Some SPs in Ottawa know my real name and vice-versa. I do not think it should be a mandatory requirement as this would be ridiculous but if the comfort level is ther, shy not? I have totally trusted the girls with whom I left my real name for years and have never encountered any problem.