Pooning doesn't seem to do it for me lately?

[livenudecats 4072]

I don't know why but it seems like in the past 6 months to a year I seem to be losing my desire to poon. I used to get very excited about my sessions and really looked forward to them. Now, even if I haven't had sex for a while I just don't seem to have the same level of excitement and I must admit, I've even cancelled sessions because the day of, I don't feel like it. As well, I used to, especially after seeing one of my ATF's, have this feeling of euphoria that would last for days. Now it seems I almost have a guilty feeling or feel empty after a session.

Is it my libido? I can still perform well when I'm with a woman. No E.D. or performance problems. If I see a sexy lady I will still have sexy thoughts. It's more this empty, unfulfilled feeling after and at times despite the fact I am VERY financially secure, I'll even have regrets about the money I feel I just wasted.

I did turn 50 this past year so maybe it's something metabolic. I do have my annual physical next week and I will mention it to my doc.

Anyone else ever go through this?

[Guest s***eO]

You might be feeling guilty or you just need the blue pill

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

If you can still perform well when you're with a woman--and particularly when you masturbate--you don't need the little blue pill (Viagra) or any of its substitutes. Don't fall into the trap of taking meds you don't need and don't try to fix what ain't broken! :icon_wink:

 

It sounds to me like you're needing something that's not usually available from a paid companion. You might take some time to ask yourself what it is you feel you really, truly, deeply want and need from another person in your life. You don't say whether you're married or in a steady relationship, but if you are, it could be that some of your needs there aren't being fulfilled. If your partner is going through a difficult time and you're having to carry a bigger share of the load without getting a lot back from her, right now, you may be feeling emotionally drained and physically tired. If you're single, it could be that you want more non-sexual companionship as in social connection, or a relationship based on shared interests and activities. Maybe the certainty of an encounter with a paid companion is no longer what you need; dating, with all its pitfalls, uncertainties and realities can be a joyous thing in part because the outcome is not so certain. Maybe you need to know that the woman you're with is there because she wants to be with you and not because you've paid her for her time and attention. We companions often say that we're paid to go away. Maybe you want someone who might be able to stay for a long time.

 

Maybe, for a little while, it would be better for you to get lots of good exercise, be sure to eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep. It's surprising how often attending to these things can improve how we feel about everything in our lives.

 

Whatever you feel, trust that feeling and listen to your own heart. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting paid companionship, or even sex, for awhile!

 

But if it seems that you don't feel you want want anything, or that you don't find pleasure in the things that used to delight you, please do talk to your doctor. Anhedonia (the loss of joy in life) is a symptom of depression. Depression is treatable, but when it's ignored, can cause serious problems in your life and at times may become life-threatening.

[renegade 11027]

Well Said Samantha - I went thru a similar period -but at the time i was going thru some serious stress (ccra audit)and when it was over I got my "groove" back-lol-hope yours passes as well -

[just2enjoy 1621]

Great post Samantha with lots of good info! Hopefully in there, nudecats can find some comfort.

[mrrnice2 157005]

Just my two cents worth, and it is difficult to comment intelligently without knowing some other possible factors of the kind that Samantha mentioned above.

 

However, when I read your post first a while ago, my initial thoughts went very much toward what Samantha was getting at.

 

Having encounters with SP's is far more than a sexual encounter, as many men here have so eloquently written about in so many posts. There is the personal factor, the personal connection, or maybe even one can go as far as the "friend" connection that plays through your head.

 

Perhaps the concept of paying for intimacy is one thing but the concept of paying for a friendship is something that is far more difficult to get ones head around?

 

I really like what Samantha has said as being a possibility, that it may be a more lasting personal connection that you seek, along with all of the things that go along with that.

 

I can easily see that some men because of that and depending upon their past or current experiences, might have a difficulty as you describe.

 

Best of luck with your dilema and as much as many people like to keep things to themselves to work out, sharing helps whether it be here or with a friend or family doctor.

 

Take care of yourself.

[Jabba 18389]

I understand what you're experiencing Livenudecats - it is an apathy or emptiness probably more widely shared than you realize.

 

Do I have an answer?... hell no.

Is it cyclic?...probably.

Is it hormonal?....maybe.

Do we love women?...oh yeah!

Then, what the hell is the problem??? - I think it's maybe coming to terms that you may be losing interest in this hobby. It's happened (in one form or another) to all of us older gents.

 

In many respects, I keep a finger in this hobby just to re-live the joy of my younger experiences. I just love the hell out of women and I love the thrill of the variety and experience ... but sometimes I just get bored of the routine. Does that make sense?

[roamingguy 300292]

Well I started this hobby last July when I was 49, and now I'm 50

My mindset was that of a teenager, focused on one thing

But I realized that the companionship of a lady is what I want. Maybe it's cyclical...as in cycle of life...as you get older your priorities and focus change

Don't know if that helps

RG

[NotchJohnson 214123]

If you can still perform well when you're with a woman--and particularly when you masturbate--you don't need the little blue pill (Viagra) or any of its substitutes. Don't fall into the trap of taking meds you don't need and don't try to fix what ain't broken! :icon_wink:

 

It sounds to me like you're needing something that's not usually available from a paid companion. You might take some time to ask yourself what it is you feel you really, truly, deeply want and need from another person in your life. You don't say whether you're married or in a steady relationship, but if you are, it could be that some of your needs there aren't being fulfilled. If your partner is going through a difficult time and you're having to carry a bigger share of the load without getting a lot back from her, right now, you may be feeling emotionally drained and physically tired. If you're single, it could be that you want more non-sexual companionship as in social connection, or a relationship based on shared interests and activities. Maybe the certainty of an encounter with a paid companion is no longer what you need; dating, with all its pitfalls, uncertainties and realities can be a joyous thing in part because the outcome is not so certain. Maybe you need to know that the woman you're with is there because she wants to be with you and not because you've paid her for her time and attention. We companions often say that we're paid to go away. Maybe you want someone who might be able to stay for a long time.

 

Maybe, for a little while, it would be better for you to get lots of good exercise, be sure to eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep. It's surprising how often attending to these things can improve how we feel about everything in our lives.

 

Whatever you feel, trust that feeling and listen to your own heart. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting paid companionship, or even sex, for awhile!

 

But if it seems that you don't feel you want want anything, or that you don't find pleasure in the things that used to delight you, please do talk to your doctor. Anhedonia (the loss of joy in life) is a symptom of depression. Depression is treatable, but when it's ignored, can cause serious problems in your life and at times may become life-threatening.

 

Those are the same exact words i was going to use.

[livenudecats 4072]

Thanks all for your kind words.

 

I still have no problem with performance. I can easily achieve an erection and have no problem with MSOG as long as there is a little break ('15 -20 minutes) between rounds.

 

I am not married or in a relationship so I don't think it is guilt. I do not date as it has been a negative experience for me. I have a 12 year old daughter who I am the primary caretaker of. She is my best buddy and #1 priority. Most women my age either don't have kids because they never wanted one or their kids are grown and gone from home so they want the freedom of no kids. A few times I've dated, it started out fine but at some point the lady became jealous or demanding of my time, at the expense of my daughter and I cut it off.

 

I do take very good care of myself. I eat right, get my rest and work out regularly. Not to brag but most people don't believe I'm 50.

 

It is interesting what Renegade said as I have been through a CRA audit last year and that was very stressful at times but that was over a 5 months ago. I won and am actually getting more back than I expected so that certainly should'nt be causing me any more stress.

 

Anyway thanks for all your concern. :)

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Just my two cents worth, and it is difficult to comment intelligently without knowing some other possible factors of the kind that Samantha mentioned above.

 

However, when I read your post first a while ago, my initial thoughts went very much toward what Samantha was getting at.

 

Having encounters with SP's is far more than a sexual encounter, as many men here have so eloquently written about in so many posts. There is the personal factor, the personal connection, or maybe even one can go as far as the "friend" connection that plays through your head.

 

Perhaps the concept of paying for intimacy is one thing but the concept of paying for a friendship is something that is far more difficult to get ones head around?

 

I really like what Samantha has said as being a possibility, that it may be a more lasting personal connection that you seek, along with all of the things that go along with that.

 

I can easily see that some men because of that and depending upon their past or current experiences, might have a difficulty as you describe.

 

Best of luck with your dilema and as much as many people like to keep things to themselves to work out, sharing helps whether it be here or with a friend or family doctor.

 

Take care of yourself.

 

 

Again well said, I have went through this in a part of my life and now back to normal, whatever normal is.

A few years ago I had something that marked me in my life and had a hard time to cope with and lost all desire to have sex or anything to do with the opposite sex but always admired the female body. Now for over 3 years things are working just great and probably better then ever.

[Playinginottawa 165]

Personally, I have only just returned to the hobby after about a year and a half long break.

 

I left for many of the reasons you are running through, thoughI cannot boast a CRA audit (I doubt many boast about those unless they win lol). It was a break that one of my own favs suggested after a long talk on the subject.

 

It was probably the best move I made in 2009 which had really been one of those years with way too many ticks in the WTF category.

 

There has been tons of great suggestions in this thread to put you on the right road so I will only add that you should drag yourself outdoors and away from greater civilization. I found that I was working too much and when I was not working I was spending my down time always indoors and still plugged in.

 

Not sure if any of that is feasable for you, but I wanted to share.

 

PIO

[E.D. man 691]

I don't know why but it seems like in the past 6 months to a year I seem to be losing my desire to poon. I used to get very excited about my sessions and really looked forward to them. Now, even if I haven't had sex for a while I just don't seem to have the same level of excitement and I must admit, I've even cancelled sessions because the day of, I don't feel like it. As well, I used to, especially after seeing one of my ATF's, have this feeling of euphoria that would last for days. Now it seems I almost have a guilty feeling or feel empty after a session.

Is it my libido? I can still perform well when I'm with a woman. No E.D. or performance problems. If I see a sexy lady I will still have sexy thoughts. It's more this empty, unfulfilled feeling after and at times despite the fact I am VERY financially secure, I'll even have regrets about the money I feel I just wasted.

I did turn 50 this past year so maybe it's something metabolic. I do have my annual physical next week and I will mention it to my doc.

Anyone else ever go through this?

Maybe you now need a tru loving relatioship, instead of sex. Maybe you need love and need to feel it back, we all go through these emotional phases whether were sp's or clients.

[Peachka 4334]

I am not married or in a relationship so I don't think it is guilt. I do not date as it has been a negative experience for me. I have a 12 year old daughter who I am the primary caretaker of. She is my best buddy and #1 priority. Most women my age either don't have kids because they never wanted one or their kids are grown and gone from home so they want the freedom of no kids. A few times I've dated, it started out fine but at some point the lady became jealous or demanding of my time, at the expense of my daughter and I cut it off.

 

It sounds like you want a relationship so that is what you should focus on. You will always have 'the hobby' whenever you desire so why not take a chance? You may find someone who gets along great with your daughter! Also, your daughter is about to hit her teens and her independence thus giving you more time for a relationship.

[livenudecats 4072]

Thanks again everyone.

After much thought, I've decided to take a break from this hobby.

Maybe I do need a deeper connection with someone I'm having sex with, rather than the "business arrangements" I've enjoyed the past 10 years.

Now the big question...

How the hell does a 50 year old man meet a nice, self-confident, attractive, fit, financially independant woman, with a great sense of humour, an above average sex drive, who enjoys sporting events, music, the beach, dining out, chilling on the couch with some wine and a movie, doesn't mind watching youth basketball or attending piano recitals, cats (my daughter has 3), and 12 year old girls (my daughter)...

AND won't bitch/get mad at me if I have to work late, make plans that will occasionally include my daughter, don't see you for a couple of days because "I'm busy", want to go play hockey or golf with my friends, won't watch those "Houswives" shows with you, won't lend you money or fix your car?

[J Galt 337]

While I wish you all the best in finding whatever it is you're looking for, don't get yourself trapped in a long-term relationship over what could be just a midlife crisis.

[livenudecats 4072]

Well its been 2 months since my "retirement".

Have I missed it? A bit.

Have I almost caved and come back? A few times.

The thing I miss most is not the sex but the hour or 2 of NSA companionship and conversation with kind, sweet, intelligent women. Those who will take the time to listen to me talk about my day, week, month and not judge me.

I've been on a couple of dates but nothing serious. Unfortunately more of the same. 40ish ladies either with lots of baggage or the need for some kind of commitment after the second date.

Otherwise been using my time and money doing some home reno's and also renovating my yard (new front steps, stone patio, retaining walls, etc...).

 

Cheers.