personal stories and threads re: sexual health

[VedaSloan 119179]

Ok, so this is going to make me sound like a huge downer and/or bitch, but all of the personal stories as of late are totally out of place on this board. Right now, we have threads about one member having cancer, another about a member's addiction recovery, and of course, all of the threads about bareback anything/sex education (no, they are not personal stories, but I'll get to why this bothers me in a second).

 

So, why am I bothered by such threads? NO ONE COMES HERE TO READ ABOUT YOUR LIFE. This is not a self-help forum. Yes, I am sad to hear that you're doing poorly, yes I hope you recover/get better/learn to become less socially inept/insert positive comment here about whatever your issue is. But let's get real, this is an ESCORT RECOMMENDATION BOARD.

 

People come here to look at pretty ladies, read reviews, exchange information etc. There are places for your personal stories (Chicken Soup for the Cerbite's Soul) etc.

 

The threads about sexual health piss me off because they just create moral panics about sex workers spreading STI's, AND because while there is no specific forum regarding health concerns or info for the general members (there is one for the SP's), there is an entire section titled "NEW TO THIS? THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW" and frankly, info about STI's and shit should go in there. And just stop posting about bareback services. We all know some SP's do it, and some provide certain bb services such as BBBJ, and that's their preference. Resurrecting these debates on CERB really does just create more panic and more stigma.

 

Let's try to remember what the point of this board is before you post your personal shit. While many will post "oh, that's terrible, my thoughts are with you," most of them don't care, don't mean it, and wish they were watching porn.

 

If you have become close with certain members and wish to inform them about something in your life that you think they might want or need to know, send them a PM! Don't post a huge thread in the general forums about it. OR put the post in a more appropriate location such as the Chicken Soup for the Cerbites Soul, etc.

 

There are some things that are best kept to yourself! If I were a dude looking for an escort, I certainly wouldn't want to come to CERB to read about cancer, people dying, drug addictions, and how dangerous bareback services are.

 

Also, I am not trying to offend those people who posted their personal stories; I'm not heartless. I agree that people should get to know each other, but seriously, could we keep it lighter? Lately CERB has been all gloom and doom.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

While I do love the community aspect of this site, I do agree with a lot of what you're saying. There are more threads existing on this site about people's personal problems than there are about things like TITTIES! And I'm here to promote things like tits, not talk about stuff that's going wrong in my life.

 

I have utilized the SP-only section to talk about certain personal things, and I love that I had the outlet to do so. But in general, for me cerb is here to talk about/promote/discuss escorting and things that go along with it, or to discuss general topics like movies/cats/etc.

 

I'd bet though that many people use this to discuss more personal topics because they may not have another outlet. Which is sad, but while I agree with what you're saying and to be quite honest I rarely read the personal story threads, I wouldn't want to take it away from the people who write them/use them because if that is the only outlet they have to release their feelings, where else would they go if they didn't come here?

[VedaSloan 119179]

 

I'd bet though that many people use this to discuss more personal topics because they may not have another outlet. Which is sad, but while I agree with what you're saying and to be quite honest I rarely read the personal story threads, I wouldn't want to take it away from the people who write them/use them because if that is the only outlet they have to release their feelings, where else would they go if they didn't come here?

 

 

I'm not saying don't post your stories, I'm just saying put them in a more appropriate place than the general forum.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I think that cerb is more than just a recommendation board where people come to look at pretty ladies, read reviews, exchange information. It has grown to become a loving and caring community where we share much more than above. It is a community where we share our happiness and pleasures as well as our sadness and pains and our thoughts and views on various subjects. We are like a family (at least that is how I would like to look at it) and just like a family when one member is happy we all are happy for that member and when one is in pain, we all feel the pain. My 2 cents.

[Parker 19761]

And just stop posting about bareback services. We all know some SP's do it, and some provide certain bb services such as BBBJ, and that's their preference. Resurrecting these debates on CERB really does just create more panic and more stigma.

 

 

Lots of things create stigma.. I think STDs is probably the less likely to with the educated public... And the people who do point fingers at escorts as being STD carriers aren't going to stop because we don't talk about it.

 

Honestly though, I think people don't get enough credit... Panic? What year is this?

 

If you panic of STDs... here's a hint -- GET TESTED.

Test results, panic ends. Simple as that.

 

I'm with you that the ongoings of everyone's private lives are of little interest to me, (and many others here...) but I mean we draw the line as STDs (something relevant to escorting) but bring on... pictures of cats and kittens?

 

I'm all for more positive, sexy posts... but it would be nice they were still generally related to the site.

[roamingguy 300292]

I think that cerb is more than just a recommendation board where people come to look at pretty ladies, read reviews, exchange information. It has grown to become a loving and caring community where we share much more than above. It is a community where we share our happiness and pleasures as well as our sadness and pains and our thoughts and views on various subjects. We are like a family (at least that is how I would like to look at it) and just like a family when one member is happy we all are happy for that member and when one is in pain, we all feel the pain. My 2 cents.

 

One thing about CERB is the sense of community. Yes serious issues are discussed, some lighthearted ones (thinking of the joke section and music section), recos/reviews...but with some differences of opinion, we are a community. And that sense of community makes a person feel safe enough to bring up a non escorting relate subject, the feeling that he/she is talking amongst friends.

If that sense of community goes, whats the difference between CERB and

T***, C****, and other sites which are a distant second to CERB imho

It may just be a fluke that all these topics came out at the same time, but at least the members felt safe enough to share here

RG

[Parker 19761]

We are like a family (at least that is how I would like to look at it) and just like a family when one member is happy we all are happy for that member and when one is in pain, we all feel the pain. My 2 cents.

 

Definitely, definitely not a family.

If a member of my family tried to pay me for kinky sex I'd probably throw up.

 

It is very much it's own little community, but I think that's where the analogy has to end.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I think my post was clear that by family I didn't mean blood related members of same family but rather (as I said) LIKE a family which means we are a close caring community.

 

We are like a family (at least that is how I would like to look at it) and just like a family when one member is happy we all are happy for that member and when one is in pain, we all feel the pain. My 2 cents.

[Parker 19761]

I think my post was clear that by family I didn't mean blood related members of same family but rather (as I said) LIKE a family which means we are a close caring community.

 

But family already has a pretty clear definition... none of them really suitable for what your trying to describe.

 

Adjective: Designed to be suitable for children as well as adults.

Noun: A group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.

 

I know this sounds bitchy for english, but a lot of stigma and panic comes from people using improper language or misinterpreting what someone says...

[VedaSloan 119179]

One thing about CERB is the sense of community. Yes serious issues are discussed, some lighthearted ones (thinking of the joke section and music section), recos/reviews...but with some differences of opinion, we are a community. And that sense of community makes a person feel safe enough to bring up a non escorting relate subject, the feeling that he/she is talking amongst friends.

If that sense of community goes, whats the difference between CERB and

T***, C****, and other sites which are a distant second to CERB imho

It may just be a fluke that all these topics came out at the same time, but at least the members felt safe enough to share here

RG

 

I think that cerb is more than just a recommendation board where people come to look at pretty ladies, read reviews, exchange information. It has grown to become a loving and caring community where we share much more than above. It is a community where we share our happiness and pleasures as well as our sadness and pains and our thoughts and views on various subjects. We are like a family (at least that is how I would like to look at it) and just like a family when one member is happy we all are happy for that member and when one is in pain, we all feel the pain. My 2 cents.

 

 

I'm not saying ditch the community aspect. I'm saying think about what you're posting and where you're posting it before you post it.

 

There are places for these kinds of personal stories. The general board is for general shit.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Berlin I respect your point of view but was it necessary to be so harsh? I know some here don't care for the community feeling and just visit the site for specific purposes and that is fine. Nobody is obligated to read these personal threads and nobody is forbidden from posting more sexual oriented threads.

 

So in my opinion those who are not interested in reading personal stuff can move on to the next thread after reading the title or the first couple of lines. Those who are only here to contact ladies have the option to click on the announcement section and skip the rest, that's why the site is divided by sections, to make this easier.

 

I have read posts from most active members (ladies & gents) that involve personal issues or experiences so I'm surprised to see a complaint from ladies about this. We don't have a particular group for let's say jokes and nobody has complaint for seeing them in the main index. I don't really care a lot about them (no offense to the posters) but I just skip them same way any thread can be skipped by those not interested.

 

I agree with Secret Admirer we should be more supportive to each other as one day it may be you who will need from the rest (I'm not saying you in particular.) I mean one can be on the other side any minute and yes some ladies have SP access but not all and the guys don't have a private area and yes there's the groups but again the general section is to bring up any kind of topics. As far as I know there's no rule that says otherwise.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Lots of things create stigma.. I think STDs is probably the less likely to with the educated public... And the people who do point fingers at escorts as being STD carriers aren't going to stop because we don't talk about it.

 

Honestly though, I think people don't get enough credit... Panic? What year is this?

 

If you panic of STDs... here's a hint -- GET TESTED.

Test results, panic ends. Simple as that.

 

I'm with you that the ongoings of everyone's private lives are of little interest to me, (and many others here...) but I mean we draw the line as STDs (something relevant to escorting) but bring on... pictures of cats and kittens?

 

I'm all for more positive, sexy posts... but it would be nice they were still generally related to the site.

 

 

Well my point about the STD threads are just that--a lot of the posts are not that informed to begin with and just spread about more misinformation.

 

And by panic, I meant moral panic, not a specific panic about catching an STD. And obviously you haven't read much of that thread or you'd realize that half the members here panic about STD's and worry and shit. Getting tested doesn't end that worry. And I wasn't saying DON'T POST HEALTH INFO. I said POST IT IN THE RELEVANT SECTION.

 

Additional Comments:

Berlin I respect your point of view but was it necessary to be so harsh? I know some here don't care for the community feeling and just visit the site for specific purposes and that is fine. Nobody is obligated to read these personal threads and nobody is forbidden from posting more sexual oriented threads.

 

So in my opinion those who are not interested in reading personal stuff can move on to the next thread after reading the title or the first couple of lines. Those who are only here to contact ladies have the option to click on the announcement section and skip the rest, that's why the site is divided my sections, to make this easier.

 

I have read posts from most active members (ladies & gents) that involve personal issues or experiences so I'm surprised to see a complaint frm ladies about this. We don't have a particular group for let's say jokes and nobody has complaint for seeing them in the main index. I don't really care a lot about them (no offense to the posters) but I just skip them same way any thread can be skipped by those not interested.

 

I agree with Secret Admirer we should be more supportive to each other as one day it may be you who will need from the rest (I'm not saying you in particular.) I mean one can be on the other side any minute and yes some ladies have SP access but not all and the guys don't have a private area and yes there's the groups but again the general section is to bring up any kind of topics. As far as I know there's no rule that says otherwise.

 

 

Actually we do have a section for jokes, it's called JOKES.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

But family already has a pretty clear definition... none of them really suitable for what your trying to describe.

 

Adjective: Designed to be suitable for children as well as adults.

Noun: A group consisting of parents and children living together in a household....

 

What am I trying to describe????. I am trying to decribe cerb as a close caring community LIKE a family consisting of parents and children living together and share happiness and sadness (this time I made the word like both in capital letters and bold too, so that you see it lol :-)).

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

I said a particular group, not section only because you directed those who had something to share to the chicken soup for the cerbite soul suggesting only those that have joined the group would be interested in reading the post which I disagree with. So that would mean from your point of view there would have to be a group for everything non-sex related?

 

Actually we do have a section for jokes, it's called JOKES.

[Parker 19761]

Well my point about the STD threads are just that--a lot of the posts are not that informed to begin with and just spread about more misinformation.

 

And by panic, I meant moral panic, not a specific panic about catching an STD. And obviously you haven't read much of that thread or you'd realize that half the members here panic about STD's and worry and shit. Getting tested doesn't end that worry. And I wasn't saying DON'T POST HEALTH INFO. I said POST IT IN THE RELEVANT SECTION.

 

Additional Comments:

 

 

 

Actually we do have a section for jokes, it's called JOKES.

 

But then how exactly is cats relevant to general discussions? Because we have pussies? lol

 

What am I trying to describe????. I am trying to decribe cerb as a close caring community LIKE a family consisting of parents and children living together and share happiness and sadness (this time I made the word like both in capital letters and bold too, so that you see it lol!!).

 

In my opinion; the 'like' doesn't make it sound less creepy... Family is family, community was a perfectly acceptable word on it's own.

[VedaSloan 119179]

I said a particular group, not section only because you directed those who had something to share to the chicken soup for the cerbite soul suggesting only those that have joined the group would be interested in reading the post which I disagree with. So that would mean from your point of view there would have to be a group for everything non-sex related?

 

Nope, I'm not saying that at all. Mostly I was trying to say think about what you're posting and where you're posting it.

 

But then how exactly is cats relevant to general discussions? Because we have pussies? lol

 

 

Nope, but there is a cat-lovers group now where I can post all my cat-related awesomenes.

 

 

 

The point of my post which has largely been misconstrued due to my own ranting, was that some topics are best left unsaid, or in a better area.

 

The personal stories should be left off the board, I'm sorry. This isn't a self-help forum.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

With all due respects, I think that your interpretation of my simple analogy sounds a bit creepy and that is my opinion.

[Kimberly-Shea 28280]

I agree with Berlin, Cleo and Naomi.

 

Here's the thing, (in my opinion..) there are social groups dedicated to outside interests (ie: non-escort related) and that would be the place for personal postings of a non-sp/mp related nature.

 

The general discussion area should be used for just that: general discussion.

 

After all this is Cerb = "Canadian Escort Recommendation Board"

 

Hopefully this thread is not taken as an attack rather a heads up that not everyone is keen on the over-share.

 

Kimberly

[Parker 19761]

The point of my post which has largely been misconstrued due to my own ranting, was that some topics are best left unsaid, or in a better area.

 

The personal stories should be left off the board, I'm sorry. This isn't a self-help forum.

 

I seriously got your point.. I agree with most of it, but I don't think you can shit on some posts for being pointless and not really suited for Cerb and just pass over all the rest because you're interested in such. It's hypocritical.

 

Edit; I know you were saying in a specific place, not just anywhere or anything... I'm paraphrasing.. kinda..

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

With all due respects, I think that your interpretation of my simple analogy sounds a bit creepy and that is my opinion.

 

Some of us understood what you meant SA! There's absolutely nothing creepy about it ;)

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

And it is used for that Kimberly ...

definition of general: not limited to one class, field, product, service, etc.

 

The general discussion area should be used for just that: general discussion.

[Parker 19761]

Some of us understood what you meant SA! There's absolutely nothing creepy about it ;)

 

Maybe not to you, but in a time when people are trying to equate trafficking to sexwork and child prostitution to CL and online forums -- I think I'd like to leave out anything that could be used to reference children OUT of the PUBLIC general discussion area of an escort forum.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Ya. you four ladies are right. This Cerb site is strictly about Sex and Titties I guess is how you worded it ! Oops ! I forgot about my penis for a second here and there and had fun and enjoyed reading posts or sharing some things with people or felt some feelings for someone or tried to help them when they were down. Bad Me !!

 

I agree with Berlin, Cleo and Naomi.

 

Here's the thing, (in my opinion..) there are social groups dedicated to outside interests (ie: non-escort related) and that would be the place for personal postings of a non-sp/mp related nature.

 

The general discussion area should be used for just that: general discussion.

 

After all this is Cerb = "Canadian Escort Recommendation Board"

 

Hopefully this thread is not taken as an attack rather a heads up that not everyone is keen on the over-share.

 

Kimberly

[Gentleman11 10508]

Great reality check Berlin!

 

Normally I'm the type of person to let things soak a bit before responding in situaltions like this (old bull vs young bull for those of you who know the "fable"). But in this instance it has been pretty clear in my simple mind.

 

I thoroughly enjoy this site, for a myraid of reasons - most of them thinking about the SP's, gaining insight, information and having sexual fun in general. Having said that, am totally understanding of challenging circumstances.

 

At the end of the day though, I booked a flight to Ottawa, am staying at a 5 star hotel to attend the CERB social on 5 May and am really looking forward to this. It is for one night and I want to have fun!

 

As much as I empathize with those who have challenging personal circumstances, which includes me (by the way), I am not venturing to this exciting event (my view) to be socially be responsible. I want adventure, laughter, new friends and yes Berlin's "TITTIES" (figuratively not literally).

 

One of the great things about this site is the ability to accomodate a diverse and eclectic range of interests and views. However, the figurative "TITTIES" work big time for me at this event.

 

Musings from CERBite with a little (OK, alot) of grey hair....

[Kimberly-Shea 28280]

Ya. you four ladies are right. This Cerb site is strictly about Sex and Titties I guess is how you worded it ! Oops ! I forgot about my penis for a second here and there and had fun and enjoyed reading posts or sharing some things with people or felt some feelings for someone or tried to help them when they were down. Bad Me !!

 

 

Wow, no need to get so offended. I was just stating an opinion. *which I believe is shared by more people than you might think.

 

This was my original post:

 

Here's the thing, (in my opinion..) there are social groups dedicated to outside interests (ie: non-escort related) and that would be the place for personal postings of a non-sp/mp related nature.