personal stories and threads re: sexual health

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

As we head into Easter Weekend, I'm reminded of the following definition of family: "A group of people who get together and squabble during holidays." I invite one and all to re-read this thread and come to their own conclusions about whether Cerb is a family or not (ha ha).

 

With any family (one can also, more seriously, opt to use the dictionary definition: "a group of people bound together by philosophical, religious, or other convictions: FELLOWSHIP"), opinions and interests vary. When I run across a thread that doesn't interest me, I just choose not to read it.

[Phaedrus 209521]

On the threads about STIs: as I said in the most recent one, I don't think they're a bad thing in principle. They educate people (maybe not those who have seen/heard it all before, but there's always new folks here), and I'm all in favour of that. I also disagree that they cause panics, moral or otherwise; I don't recall seeing any panic-ridden posts, and unfortunately STIs are a reality that we all have to deal with. Sweeping them under the carpet won't change this, and may make things worse. I think pretty much everyone here on CERB is well beyond the "All SPs are disease-ridden vermin" stupidity that we see in some sections of society, and I see no reason to avoid an open and honest discussion about these things. And if inaccurate information gets posted - whether it be scaremongering or overly complacent - I see no reason why it shouldn't be shot down.

 

And yes, it might be a good idea to have a forum specifically for health-related discussions that those who aren't interested/know it all already can ignore. In the short term, I believe anyone who feels that these threads (or any others) should be moved to another forum can flag them for the Mod and suggest this.

 

XXXXXX

 

I don't think that most of the folks here who express sympathy for the misfortunes of others are being insincere, and I'm *sure* that those who do care would prefer not to be tarred with the same brush as those who don't. Maybe I'm just being a little naive here, but much of the sentiment expressed strikes me as genuine, and I don't think it's fair on the majority of people here to characterize them as shallow opportunists. And even if they are - is that a bad thing if it cheers someone up when they need it? I'd argue that it's not.

 

XXXXXX

 

It has been mentioned that other places - such as Chicken Soup for the Cerbites Soul - would be a better place for some of the "I'm having a tough time right now" posts. One issue with this is that it's a group rather than a forum, and groups aren't actually all that easy to find for folks who aren't intimately familiar with the CERB layout. It's been mentioned before that perhaps the main groups page should have a link on the main toolbar (with User CP, Chat Room, et al). I'd be inclined to agree with this, and more generally with the idea of making groups more obvious.

 

XXX--

 

Finally, as has been suggested already, everyone is entirely at liberty to ignore threads they're not interested in, for whatever reason. And anyone who thinks there are too many threads on one topic, or that the overall tone is too negative, is more than welcome to start more threads on breasticles, kittens, death metal, rainbows, unicorns or whatever other topics they consider more acceptable (or if anyone feels like a challenge, get all those in the same post to kick off the ultimate in awesome threads - bonus points if you do it in verse :) ).

[roamingguy 300292]

Actually, if you look at this site, there is an area for escort and ma discussion, it is discussed by city.

The general discussion area is the free for all area imho (as long as not offensive), if not covered under a different area of the board. And unless there are specific rules saying no posts about personal matters, or cats, or whatever, whats the big deal

If you don't want to read the post, then don't. But judging from some of the threads (the one about recovery, one about cancer, and std's for example) if they were really so inappropriate to post, why did the thread go on...obviously they resonate with members

Posts like these don't take over the board at the expense of escort/ma discussion, they compliment it.

My two cents

RG

[LeeRichards 177238]

Actually Kimberly I am not offended but I was a little quick there on my reply and I apologize I could have worded it differently, but all in all I come here for both reasons. The ladies and the community and the atmosphere. I myself am guilty I guess for posting a personal post recently that now I realize I should not have. Lesson learned.

 

I do also understand that there are many many people that share your opinion. SP's and hobbyists both. They also do not have to read or give a shit about someones post either. Hobbyists can come and find who they want to see and carry on and go see them. SP's can advertise, do their thing and carry on and wait for a call.

 

Plain and simple for me and maybe I am a minority. It is a community. Business, reccos, ads, pleasure, fun, chuckles and if someone needs a sympathetic ear or help or advice then it is probably here or you will be helped as to where to find it. I wouldn't be here regularily otherwise.

 

My opinion only

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow, no need to get so offended. I was just stating an opinion. *which I believe is shared by more people than you might think.

 

Kimberly

[Kimberly-Shea 28280]

Actually Kimberly I am not offended but I was a little quick there on my reply and I apologize I could have worded it differently, but all in all I come here for both reasons.

 

Glad to hear :icon_wink: I really wasn't trying to be offensive. Sometimes "tone" is lost online..

 

Maybe the social groups could be easier to find, that way people can get the feedback there looking for, without publicly posting such personal - off topic information.

 

Just a thought!

Kimberly

[mikkismitty 197]

IMHO tone is a real problem here as well as when texting.......but I am getting off topic. Just a random thought.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I think the reason people may be sharing more of their experiences is because they feel comfortable enough with us as a group to share this while still maintaining their anonymity. I think a separate group to share personal experiences would be ideal. While I do sympathize for people's difficult experiences in life and commend them for having the courage to share, I think the overall tone of the general area should be kept lighthearted.

[Gentleman11 10508]

Hey Folks,

 

Can we all have a group hug here and move on. There is so much more positive to focus on in our site...

 

Musings from a guy who wants to move upwards and onwards (like Tarzan or Superman, lol)...

[J Galt 337]

On the one hand, I'll always support everyone's right to free speech, even when I don't agree with what they're saying(the real test of whether you believe in freedom or not). On the other hand, the hobby that brought us all here relies heavily on a certain level of discretion. When people start getting too personal, they may not be paying enough heed to that fact. A certain amount of privacy is necessary to maintain discretion, and if that means keeping an impersonal distance, so be it.

I'll talk about my dogs or my canoe, but I'm not going to tell anybody my medical history(nothing contagious).

[mikkismitty 197]

There you go getting all personal (please note my sarcastic tone). I hope to live another 50 years but no one cares......too personal so let's get back to the fun and interesting topics we all love. No need for any more sniping....let's just all coexist (sarcastic tone and generous eye rolling). Peace and goodwill to all

[MightyPen 67414]

Wow. Brutal thread. Not something I expected to see here.

 

I think if we did a thread count, the personal stuff would be a teeny tiny minority of the things discussed here. There's still plenty of money-for-sex talk for those who want it. But if that was ALL that I found here, I wouldn't stick around very long - I guess I'd just pay brief visits whenever my blood was up.

 

I don't come here primarily to read about other members' personal lives, but I'm happy when I see that some people are comfortable enough to post something about themselves they're feeling strongly about at the moment. The place *is* a community. There's lots of room for everyone, and people who don't appreciate talk outside certain narrow boundaries are free to skip the threads they don't like.

 

And to me, the modest number of personal discussions here serve a valuable function: they humanize both clients and SPs, proving you can sell sex and pay for sex yet still be a thinking, feeling, sometimes intelligent person with a wealth of other interests. And as fellow human beings, some other clients and SPs might actually be interested in hearing what you have to say, and helping out a bit, even if it's not about our dicks and "titties". In that respect, part of those threads' value is *precisely* that they're on an escort recommendation board.

 

I wouldn't want those discussions to dominate the board, but in their current proportion I find them not just tolerable, they actually make the place more human.

[RobX 2084]

Wow. Brutal thread. Not something I expected to see here.

 

My sentiments exactly! Unfortunately, there are certain circumstances where negativity sometimes wins out, and this may one. I'm willing to bet that anyone reading this post will now be much more hesitant to post "personal stories" on CERB, at least for awhile.

 

And we also now have to be more careful about how we use the word "family"!

[JuliasUndies 7288]

My sentiments exactly! Unfortunately, there are certain circumstances where negativity sometimes wins out, and this may one. I'm willing to bet that anyone reading this post will now be much more hesitant to post "personal stories" on CERB, at least for awhile.

 

And we also now have to be more careful about how we use the word "family"!

 

I just posted one LOL!!

[VedaSloan 119179]

My sentiments exactly! Unfortunately, there are certain circumstances where negativity sometimes wins out, and this may one. I'm willing to bet that anyone reading this post will now be much more hesitant to post "personal stories" on CERB, at least for awhile.

 

And we also now have to be more careful about how we use the word "family"!

 

First my apologies to those I offended; everyone has a cranky day.

 

But, people SHOULD be hesitant to post personal stories. I will give you an example as to why. In the thread about personal recovery, many ladies chimed in that they too were recovering addicts. While I can empathize, do you really think that's good PR, either for yourself or the industry?

[PistolPete 61421]

I have been guilty of this behavior too, where it cost me 7 days in the Cerb slammer. No this is not a personal story,just true facts.....lol ;)

 

I have just finished reading this thread, and along the way some words/tones may of come across harsh that is however the power of words. I certainly need practice more often when trying to express myself as I can come across sarcastic,possibly humorous,serious,pissed off, so now I try to wait and reflect on the subject on hand.

 

I'm not stating that anyone who has posted in this thread is coming across harsh or deserves any kind of

retribution at all.

 

Both sides have very good merit in this thread.

 

When there is something that means very little to myself,I simply skip through it, I have joined just about every social group going,and may throw my comments in there. I do agree with Berlin's last statement PR is what is at stake, not for me, but for those ladies that us men seek out. Personally lately that is where I do most of my surfing on the site(seeking out women),but I will jump in at a thread that interests myself.

 

Anyways my fellowship (thanks WIT I like that) if you are reading my post, take the time a watch this video, it really gets the point across of 'The Power Of Words' Happy Easter everyone :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IMHO tone is a real problem here as well as when texting.......but I am getting off topic. Just a random thought.

[Guest J***u]

If you don't like them you don't have to read them,also when some of the nice ladies on here need someone to talk to I'm here to listen just saying

[VedaSloan 119179]

I have been guilty of this behavior too, where it cost me 7 days in the Cerb slammer. No this is not a personal story,just true facts.....lol ;)

 

I have just finished reading this thread, and along the way some words/tones may of come across harsh that is however the power of words. I certainly need practice more often when trying to express myself as I can come across sarcastic,possibly humorous,serious,pissed off, so now I try to wait and reflect on the subject on hand.

 

I'm not stating that anyone who has posted in this thread is coming across harsh or deserves any kind of

retribution at all.

 

Both sides have very good merit in this thread.

 

 

 

Sometimes my bluntness gets the better of me! I certainly could have worded my post less harshly.

[PistolPete 61421]

Sometimes my bluntness gets the better of me! I certainly could have worded my post less harshly.

 

Hey Berlin,

 

I was just making a generalized comment on all posts in this thread, at not directed at you specifically at all,regardless if you were blunt or not, but so were others.

 

It is from an overall point of view, looking at many other threads lately, not just this one alone.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Hey Berlin,

 

I'm not concerned at all how anything is worded on here. I was just making a generalized comment on all posts in this thread, at not directed at you specifically at all,regardless if you were blunt or not, but so were others.

 

It is from an overall point of view, looking at many other threads lately, not just this one alone.

 

Oh no worries, I knew you weren't directing it at me specifically, but I did get a warning for this thread, so....perhaps I should follow my own advice, and think before I post. Hahaha.

[redmachine 1916]

Ok, so this is going to make me sound like a huge downer and/or bitch, but all of the personal stories as of late are totally out of place on this board.

So, why am I bothered by such threads? NO ONE COMES HERE TO READ ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

Let's try to remember what the point of this board is before you post your personal shit.

 

I think it is human nature for people to share good or bad news with friends.

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=13762

[docottawa 541]

Honestly, I feel pretty badly for anyone who has recently posted about personal trials. I suspect that after reading through this thread they might feel embarrassed, perhaps hurt.

 

I know that I've read many posts that didn't hold any interest for me but I never considered it helpful to tell the "poster" to keep his/her points to himself, they don't belong here.

 

For some, I'm sure, this site should only be a vehicle to further conduct business but for others it provides a forum to exchange ideas as well. Let's not limit ourselves or try to limit others in the most basic of human rights, i.e. free speech.

[dexterS3 134]

Julias That is one of the best written posts and responses i have ever read.

But lately i think more people need to get some loving and hardcore sex :) than complaining over someone posts about a loved one or pet or cancer or met my ex etc

The site is a freedom of speech. and we have an option to ignore,block the person.

Its funny about 95% of sp want to know something about the client before they see them this is a good way to get to know someone and by bashing and complaining i am sure it won't do you any favours in the respect and repeat of clientale.

These are my 2 cents worth.

I want people to encourage putting in there thoughts and questions its a good option.

I am shock MOD hasn't put an end to this thread already.

[PistolPete 61421]

Censorship or freedom of speech??

 

comes across that you are contradicting yourself.

 

like you said 'we have the option to ignore it', why would you think or are in shock that Mod should put an end to this thread?

 

I think Doc hit the nail on the head,if anyone

 

"For some, I'm sure, this site should only be a vehicle to further conduct business but for others it provides a forum to exchange ideas as well. Let's not limit ourselves or try to limit others in the most basic of human rights, i.e. free speech. "

 

 

The site is a freedom of speech. and we have an option to ignore,block the person.

 

I am shock MOD hasn't put an end to this thread already.

[dexterS3 134]

How Mr Pete that i am contradicting myslef by saying that people the right to do either here. but when one person or multi people feels its there job to bash others then there a point it needs to be stopped.

But there are reason people leave this site for long periods of time because of non sense and garbage. But some i think like the garbage among other things.

[J Galt 337]

I find it a fascinating contradicition, in that when I take part in the hobby that brought us all here, I spend an amazing, and very intimate, period of time with an intelligent, fun, beautiful woman, but I'm not allowed to leave the encounter with any feelings for her whatsoever, nor expect her to have any for me. Then we come here, to a completely anonymous neutral ground, and suddenly we're supposed to be a kind, caring, compassionate "family," towards people whom we'll never meet. We're expected(in the sense that we're dicks if we don't) to genuinely care about things we would never be allowed to ask our SP about, even though she might be the only person in this community we'll ever meet in person, let alone do "personal" things with. Pretty much the definition of irony.