Double standards: Female groping of strippers. Thoughts?

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

So a long time ago I saw a short video clip of a female waitress at a strip club kick the shit out of another woman who groped her ass as she walked by. She said just because you are female doesn't give you the right to touch me. 

She was 1000% right. 

I just saw a tweet about dancers and comparing the double of standard of male dancers are entertainers while female dancers are considered money hungry bitches. It got me thinking of other double standards. 

So back to the groping. 

It is very true that women who see male dancers are always groping and grabbing the dancers. I have seen females do the same to female dancers and I have hears how much female dancers hate it yet how many go through the motions afraid of losing business. 

As far as I am concerned that is a form.of sexual harassment/assault. I think many women don't check their own sexual harassment of others. It is assumed that women can't don't harass like that but they do. 

Do you consider it wrong? A double standard? No big deal? 

Any thoughts on how to stop this? To bring awareness? I know many women will not like this thread but if we are to be equal in all things good and beneficial to us as women in comparison to men, we have to look at ourself equally in the negative to bring about our own change in society. 

So thoughts? 

[Guest]

     When I lived in Quebec city there was a popular male strip club(now closed).

     I never visited but know a few friends who went there with their wives on nights that allowed it. And they seen behavior that would be an instant expulsion from normal strip clubs. Inappropriate touching, screaming and some rushing the stage as if they were part of the show. Equality goes both ways and explains why many of those places either shut down or cater more to gay/bi men.

[drakas 67]

Equality doesn't count for much when there is a double standard. Mentioning "screaming and some rushing the stage" of course reminds of Beetlemania which according to this: https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1986-12-14-8604030230-story.html came about partially b/c:

"In a highly sexualized society (one sociologist found that the number of explicitly sexual references in the mass media had doubled between 1950 and 1960), teen and preteen girls were expected to be not only `good` and `pure` but to be the enforcers of purity within their teen society--drawing the line for overeager boys and ostracizing girls who failed in this responsibility.

To abandon control--to scream, faint, dash about in mobs--was, in form if not in conscious intent, to protest the sexual repressiveness, the rigid double standard of female teen culture."

The above was written in 1986, a simple search for "double standard culture female" provides evidence that this effect is likely still highly relevant, here: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/06/130603142237.htm.

To the original post -- it's literally impossible to defend specific cases of unwanted groping but when you are talking about "change in society" and thinking about Greenteal's example IMHO we need to allow women more license than we would men since they are still impacted by a double standard that was clearly described over 3 decades ago. Generally I don't think there is any place in 2019 for us to admonish women for "acting out", even if in black-and-white terms it may seem "undesirable" or "extreme".

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Similar as what GT said, go back over 27 years ago, I was dating a girl, and my friend was on a blind date with her friend.  We ended up in Montreal for a nice meal and decided to go to a club.  Of course the club we wanted to go to was above the club 281 which has male strippers, so the ladies didn't want to stand in line to go upstairs so they went directly in at the 281 and found a table and we were to wait for them upstairs.  Well as we got to the doorman to go upstairs my friend had on running shoes and it was a big no no for upstairs so instead of waiting in the hallway for our lady friends to come out we asked if we could go and find them, they let one of us go in and I was petrified of what I felt and saw.  I was being groped and kissed and licked in the face by so many women, trying to pull down my zipper and feeling my ass.

As soon as I found our lady friends we immediately left and they "protected" me from those "monsters".  While I was looking for them I saw things happening to those guys from those women I can't even repeat on here.  I seen guys whistle at those strippers in club and say things but women in a male stripper club are far worst then men.

[Kilt Boy 29353]

Women are the worst. Really. And they have claws.

So many nights I went home with literal holes in my ass. A big bulge in my pants that was purely money, but it wasn't the best time in my life. Performing on stage was great. Making the sale was easy. It was the actual work that led to all kinds of trouble. Yeah, my job was mostly grope and grab, let them put it in their mouth or in their shirt for a minute, maybe stir their drink to cool off, get paid and move on. All on the floor. We hardly got anyone into the back rooms because it was $5/dance back there. On the floor, it was basically a dollar a grope. As long as I was making money, I put up with it. That's just the way it was 35 years ago. We were young, dumb, and full of cum. It didn't really get to us because that was the job. Plus, it was good for the ego.

Men are taught to be courteous in a situation like that and mostly we behave. Sometimes it gets out of control and some guys are just fucking idiots, but generally I find that the guys are way less of a problem. Women in a strip club are finally free to act out, no longer bound by the strict rules of society. They go wild. They lose ALL inhibition and sense. There aren't a lot of male clubs around anymore and the all-male revues that cruise through town are very controlled. That leaves just the regular SCs which is where this problem you describe comes up. I've seen it. I've also seen some ladies who are as respectful and generous as I am. Not many, granted, but a few.

[katie 1337]

Yes, Women are Worse! ☺️...(most cases) ... They're Screaming,Touching,Putting $$ Inside Their Bras, Inwhich the Males (Strippers) have to search for it, Throwing Their Bras & Panties at Them. 😏.. I'm Thinking if a Male Acted like that... He'd be Thrown out. From what I've Seen..."The Women Are Wild"... 😬.. 

xoxo's 💋

[Guest]

       I remember the mid 90's when sexual harassment and sensitivity training became mandatory for federal government workers. From those, came some overreactions like to ban of swimsuit calendars, posters and screensavers in the workplace. When it happened, we asked if this was serious. The answer was "yes" and we asked if it applied to all Chippendales pictures. The human ressource lady asked if it offended us, our answer was "it does now". Was priceless to see the reaction of female employees who didn't expect the measure to bite them back.

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

This is what makes me go HMMMMMM.....

 

The whole #metoo movement, which I think was needed, did really nothing to educate women equally on their forms of sexual harassment. I get that women need to catch up to men in many regards and some do believe that until we are equal on things like the pay gap, abortion rights, etc, that we then don’t have to look at our behaviour as women, but I personally don’t believe in this. 

 

How can we preach and teach about sexual assault and harassment, but then act like fools when we see a hot ripped guy in front of us? I feel that we need to be setting the example, not saying do as we say, not as we do.

 

Sadly, I don’t think is something that is going to change anytime soon.

 

While I think that women need to look inwards on these issues, I think men have a role to play as well. When a female teacher sexually assaults a male student, men all jump up saying “ I wish that happened to me as a teen” which gives the woman a pass simply because he was a horny teen or she is consider attractive so the crime is diminished in way, which is not right in my opinion.

 

It is a hard topic to discuss, but I think discussion is needed. Change can not happen if we don’t talk. 

[Guest]

58 minutes ago, Jessica Rain said:

This is what makes me go HMMMMMM.....

The whole #metoo movement, which I think was needed, did really nothing to educate women equally on their forms of sexual harassment. I get that women need to catch up to men in many regards and some do believe that until we are equal on things like the pay gap, abortion rights, etc, that we then don’t have to look at our behaviour as women, but I personally don’t believe in this. 

   Sadly for all the good is does, it also opens the door for blackmail and other forms of abuse.

There's always a middle ground, but we apparently need to hit a few extremes before reaching it.

[fresh 8278]

I think women aren’t in situations like these as often so it can be hard to not cross the line.   They are more often sexually repressed and thus cross the line more. 

I have spent a lot of time seeing female strippers but when on a stag party with some of my “friends” who have a little more uptight conservative upbringing I found them to be more inappropriate and rude to dancers and the waitresses.     I could not believe how disrespectful they were for gentlemen who would have been raised to respect women.    I was shocked.

So I think people need to learn to respect everyone even in situations where their is an element of adult entertainment.  All ways and all sexes.    Basically ask if it is ok to do something and respect people’s limits. 

Treat others at least as well as you want them to treat you 

[Andee 220524]

On 7/15/2019 at 6:37 PM, Kilt Boy said:

Women are the worst. Really. And they have claws.

So many nights I went home with literal holes in my ass. A big bulge in my pants that was purely money, but it wasn't the best time in my life. Performing on stage was great. Making the sale was easy. It was the actual work that led to all kinds of trouble. Yeah, my job was mostly grope and grab, let them put it in their mouth or in their shirt for a minute, maybe stir their drink to cool off, get paid and move on. All on the floor. We hardly got anyone into the back rooms because it was $5/dance back there. On the floor, it was basically a dollar a grope. As long as I was making money, I put up with it. That's just the way it was 35 years ago. We were young, dumb, and full of cum. It didn't really get to us because that was the job. Plus, it was good for the ego.

Men are taught to be courteous in a situation like that and mostly we behave. Sometimes it gets out of control and some guys are just fucking idiots, but generally I find that the guys are way less of a problem. Women in a strip club are finally free to act out, no longer bound by the strict rules of society. They go wild. They lose ALL inhibition and sense. There aren't a lot of male clubs around anymore and the all-male revues that cruise through town are very controlled. That leaves just the regular SCs which is where this problem you describe comes up. I've seen it. I've also seen some ladies who are as respectful and generous as I am. Not many, granted, but a few.

Put it in their mouth? In all my experience attending male strip clubs and private parties, not once did that I ever see that. 

[Guest]

I worked in a males strip club and definitely saw a lot worse behavior (including putting it in their mouth, and open masturbation...both things would get a guy tossed out) from women than I ever saw from men. In fairness, most of us guys didn't really mind.  The crazier the women got, the more they spend. 

Same with when I was an MA... but again, I didn't mind at all...kinda miss it, actually. 

[Kilt Boy 29353]

1 hour ago, Mature Angela said:

Put it in their mouth? In all my experience attending male strip clubs and private parties, not once did that I ever see that. 

Things were different 35 years ago ...

[newfy 167]

Not that I want to date myself or give up my age, but back in the late 80's I spent some years in the dancing and escort business. Spent the first part of the time as the bartender on Bank Street in Ottawa then moved on to the dance floor. At first it was fun and the money was great. Thursday's and Friday's were crazy with the bachorlette parties.   Made some arrangements with some of the customers and began to do some escorting. I am still scarred with some of the memories., When I finally finished I could not look at an overweight woman for many years, It came to the point that I was sickened by these woman who thought that they owned you and you had to do what they wanted. The groping and pulling and rubbing was also fun at the start but shortly changed to almost a repulsion. I do the hobbying now as I have failed at marriage and do not want to try again. I feel for the ladies on this site and other sites as some times I had to go through with certain things that I was not comfortable with and with people that I was also not comfortable with. I now laugh at the " Me Too " thing and look at it as a double standard. If  could offer any advice to the ladies, it would be to save as much of the money as possible and then get out at the first sign of disgust or of becoming jaded. Your mental health is too important. 

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

There is never a circumstance when it is acceptable to touch another person in a sexual way without their consent!

[Guest]

On 8/11/2019 at 9:43 PM, newfy said:

Not that I want to date myself or give up my age, but back in the late 80's I spent some years in the dancing and escort business. Spent the first part of the time as the bartender on Bank Street in Ottawa then moved on to the dance floor. At first it was fun and the money was great. Thursday's and Friday's were crazy with the bachorlette parties.   Made some arrangements with some of the customers and began to do some escorting. I am still scarred with some of the memories., When I finally finished I could not look at an overweight woman for many years, It came to the point that I was sickened by these woman who thought that they owned you and you had to do what they wanted. The groping and pulling and rubbing was also fun at the start but shortly changed to almost a repulsion. I do the hobbying now as I have failed at marriage and do not want to try again. I feel for the ladies on this site and other sites as some times I had to go through with certain things that I was not comfortable with and with people that I was also not comfortable with. I now laugh at the " Me Too " thing and look at it as a double standard. If  could offer any advice to the ladies, it would be to save as much of the money as possible and then get out at the first sign of disgust or of becoming jaded. Your mental health is too important. 

I bartender at a club on bank around d that time...I know exactly how you feel. I'm sorry you've suffered this way.