When discretion becomes trickery

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

One of the first things I learned when entered this industry was how important discretion is. Starting with my own. I am a private person (my mommy told me not to talk to strangers lol) and have respect for my personal life as well as the private lives of those who visit me.

 

This doesn't mean I don't allow them to get to know me, I just keep my most personal/private things to myself as I'm sure most here do and how much I open up depends on how comfortable I feel with the person.

 

I have a point with all this, I promise ... In my ads I ask to be contacted by Pm and specify that if contacting me via email is preferred to please mention their cerb handle. More than once I have received an email asking to book a date and when I ask the gentleman's cerb handle I just don't hear back from him.

 

Isn't having a handle anonymous enough? To me the fact that a member here feels the need to hide his cerb identity brings red lights and makes me think he is hiding something.

 

I know this is a lot more common that I imagined. Even someone posted in a thread here that he prefers calling the lady and not mention his handle when booking, I've even heard of guys making up a handle that does not even exist. This is not a rant but I just can't find a valid and legit reason to do this and feel curious to hear some answers that may be more clear than the impression that I now have about this.

 

I may not get responses at all and may make some feel like I'm putting them in a spot, that I guess depends on the intention to have done such a thing.

 

What I'll ask may come across as unnecessary but in case please refrain from giving names out, not the point of the thread.

 

Thanks in advance!

[Andee 220524]

I cannot speak for the gents, but the way I look at it, if they want to remain anonymous, it doesn't necessarily mean anything is amiss. People have their own reasons for doing what they do.

 

I have different methods of initial contact - by pm, email and of course phone. I also have gents calling me from different sources so not everyone calling is from CERB, so that is not part of my screening process. Unless they pm me first or distinctly tell me they saw my ad on CERB, I have no way of really knowing, do I?

 

To this day I see clients from CERB and do not what their handle is because they have never volunteered it. And they are good clients.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Imo, I don't think it is trickery that they are not giving out their cerb handle. More like just not wanting to disclose it. If they are not doing anything malicious, I don't think there is any harm if they do not mention it. Now if they are making fake dates or are violent, you can be sure their name will eventually make it on a bad date list with their phone number. This is much better info to rely on than a handle which is anonymous and can be easily abandoned and another one to be created under the guise of a different IP address.

 

As an SP, Cerb handles don't mean anything to me unless they have a significant posting history where you can gain some insight as to the type of client you will be seeing based on personality and what they write. Other than that, there are too many people here with a handle and zero posts. I have seen many of these guys and didn't know their handle until they sent a thank-you Pm after our date. In my screening process, every person who calls me from different sources of advertising, I treat them all equally. Although it is nice to refer to Cerb or have people say they saw me on here, I try not to let that give me a false sense of security because frankly even people here are anonymous to a certain degree.

[mm99 285]

I'm new at being a service user but that's what I thought the handle was for. My personal guess would be that member handle's might be shared among the SP's in the reserved area for SP's. I can only flatter myself in thinking that my very first encounter with a SP (I did give her my handle) was the topic of lively conversation.

[Guest M***re***e]

I agree with the ladies above. Clients have many reasons for wanting to remain anonymous, but I think most are just extra careful in trying to keep their "hobby" a secret from family & co-workers. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep your laundry private!

 

I would like to remind all clients that we (sp's) have just as many reasons for wanting to keep things discreet and private, as they do. I think sometimes clients assume that our lives are an open book, due to the ads we place and/or websites we have. This is not the case, at least for me.

 

My closest friends & those important to me know what I do, but I wouldn't want my neighbours or casual acquaintances to know.

A) Its none of their business

B) Some people judge those who live a different lifestyle

C) I don't want any unwanted scrutiny brought to my home & personal life.

 

There will always be those (on both sides of the fence) who have nefarious motives, but all we can do is listen to our "gut feeling", along with a healthy dose of common sense, and treat others as we want to be treated.

 

Peace

[JuliasUndies 7288]

I get this a lot in the way that More often than not I have cerb users pm me and ask questions and most are brand new users or never one post???

Maybe it's all part of getting their game on? Some get off just from getting a reply LOL!!! Or maybe it's not a client at all

[RobX 2084]

Clients have many reasons for wanting to remain anonymous

 

Here's one example, among many, of a scenario where it may make sense not to reveal your handle when making an appointment:

 

A member may enjoy conversing online with a certain SP, in forums, chat and via PM. If he makes an appointment with her, using his handle, and the appointment doesn't go well, he may still feel pressure to write a positive review/recommendation, just to preserve the online relationship, which would be totally unethical. Making an appointment without revealing one' s handle avoids placing oneself in such an untenable situation.

[etasman2000 15994]

If he makes an appointment with her, using his handle, and the appointment doesn't go well, he may still feel pressure to write a positive review/recommendation, just to preserve the online relationship, which would be totally unethical.

 

Everyone clicks with others differently, if it doesn't go well it doesn't. No one should ever feel pressured to write a recommendation.

 

I never use my handle on phone/txt based contact simply because there isn't anything tying my phone number to my cerb handle! How can anyone verify that it was etasman2000 calling ?

[silverado17 12689]

Everyone clicks with others differently, if it doesn't go well it doesn't. No one should ever feel pressured to write a recommendation.

 

I never use my handle on phone/txt based contact simply because there isn't anything tying my phone number to my cerb handle! How can anyone verify that it was etasman2000 calling ?

this true the only way they would know that it's your true cerb handle is by a pm and if they don't use a pm they could use anyones name from cerb which i think is not good if the lady wants to know who they are from cerb she should tell them to send a pm and if they don't want to do that she shouldn't book them just like it was said before if the lady can trust the guy to tell where she lives the guy should be able to send a pm

[Ashley Ann 75247]

I have many men from cerb who contact me via my email or telephone, they make it a point for me not to know their cerb handle.

 

I personally think it is for the following reasons.

 

While many guys use this site to read about other's experiences to find themselves an escort, they themselves will NEVER write or inform anyone of their own. Some guys are soooooo discreet, they will not even write a single post, and there are MANY guys on here like that.

 

Another reason, I believe, is that many guys do NOT want to be discussed EVER amongst other sp's. Most sp's respect their clients privacy and will not discuss them unless they do something harmful or deceitful ( bad date section) however, not all do, and I suppose men are aware of this and just simply do not want to take that chance. Especially if they are one of those guys who always make it a point to indicate that they only see you and no body else..and/or if they choose to pay another lady a higher rate or what have you...I am not saying this is right, I just think those are some of the reasons behind it.

[silverado17 12689]

I have many men from cerb who contact me via my email or telephone, they make it a point for me not to know their cerb handle.

 

I personally think it is for the following reasons.

 

While many guys use this site to read about other's experiences to find themselves an escort, they themselves will NEVER write or inform anyone of their own. Some guys are soooooo discreet, they will not even write a single post, and there are MANY guys on here like that.

 

Another reason, I believe, is that many guys do NOT want to be discussed EVER amongst other sp's. Most sp's respect their clients privacy and will not discuss them unless they do something harmful or deceitful ( bad date section) however, not all do, and I suppose men are aware of this and just simply do not want to take that chance. Especially if they are one of those guys who always make it a point to indicate that they only see you and no body else..and/or if they choose to pay another lady a higher rate or what have you...I am not saying this is right, I just think those are some of the reasons behind it.

or maybe sometimes when they book they don't plan on keeping the appointment so she can't book someone else it all comes down to if u don't want to give your cerb handle i guess you'll have to look else where, if the lady wants your handle and i don't blame the lady for asking for it if she feels safer that way

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Not to go to far out of this thread I for one couldn't wait to share my experience here on CERB. After reading so many great recommendations and wanting to share the similar stories with others, I made a few dates and only after 4-5 dates was I satisfied enough to share my first ever ideal date.

I don't understand why anyone would be wanting to keep it to themselves, even just to say "had a great time and recommend this girl" would be enough.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[wellie 652]

....

I never use my handle on phone/txt based contact simply because there isn't anything tying my phone number to my cerb handle!.....

 

This is the only good reason I have read about for NOT giving out the CERB handle. BUT, the SP would have to be terribly indisreet to communicate to others the connection of the phone# and the CERB handle. I find this unlikely because the selection of an SP involves a judgement that this SP is discreet and trustworthy. If I did not come to that conclusion, I would never select that SP.

 

Overall then I am as curious as Isabella as to why potential clients are reluctant to reveal their CERB handle.

[ekimout 188]

If you have a CERB handle and contact an SP on CERB but don't want to give her your handle, then what's the point? It's all very anonymous.

 

I have no problem giving my CERB handle.

[Tiffany Amber 7031]

I understand the point of being discreet, but if her only screening method is knowing your Cerb handle, I do not see a problem with that. She is not asking your personal info, a phone number and your handle. That's is the same way I do it, but I will not turn someone down if they wish to keep their handle a secret,as long as I have a phone number and it's not a pay phone or your work number, I dont really care.

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

I believe i wrote about this somewhere awhile ago. I offer a discount for members of cerb is they pm me first before emailing...the reason is i can check them out {to see if we are compatible}. Yes some gents don't have posts but i can get to know them through email as well.

The CERB handle isn't necessary if they provide the proper protocol of the lady they wish to see.

kisses,

Emma

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Whenever I contact a lady on cerb I always provide my cerb handle and proudly so (and my first name and of course my full address too). I don't have any reason to remain anonymous though as I am single and I am outcalls only (legal). I believe that there is a relatively good chance that providing my cerb handle will make the lady feel safer and if it does, then why should I not provide it. Afterall we have the opportunity to read their recommendations and make a decision so why they should not have an equal opportunity to make an inform decision for a date with us.

 

The ladies can make an informed decision whether to be my guest and date or not by reading my posts and recommendations and give them an opportunity to check out the SP private area (so they would know what to expect!!), and that they can contact other ladies who I have dated in the past for references. In summary I believe that providing my cerb handle would likely make my guests feel safer, more relaxed and they would feel more at home when they arrive.

[Angeltbay 612]

Frankly, id rather get a name than a "handle" (even if its not your real name) Its just better to greet them by a name than "john1234" lol. but i agree with the handle tying to the gents phone number as well, its all about comfortability.

[jughead 45]

I have always understood that if asked "are you a member of Cerb? or do you know about Cerb?" the answer is alway, Cerb what's that? Never heard of it.

 

I have only book once via cerb, it is alway nice to be able to put a face a memory to the person that you are chating with on here. Does knowing my name, handle, cell phone number make the experieince any better? Each off us have our own reasons for and understanding of discretion and is something to always remember.

 

Of utmost importance is the personal safety of the ladies. In one of the previous posts mention a bad date list which I am sure is of great value to the ladies.

[Angeltbay 612]

its it just gentlemen from cerb that email you? Because if you have ads elsewhere, they might get confused when you ask them for a cerb handle, if they didnt find your ad from here. And isnt is also possible to see the SP scheduals if you are not a member?

[Satin 1237]

Being new to Cerb myself, I found myself assured to know that some of my earliest guests had some time on Cerb as well as a posting history. It did, in a sense, 'rest my nerves' that these were men who were truly into the 'hobby' and that they had experience in dealing with SPs.

 

I did have an situation just last weekend where a gent had said they had seen me on Cerb and the texts and phonecalls took up a lot of time in my afternoon try to arrange a get together that never did happen. Something struck me as odd and when I asked him for his Cerb handle, he refused to provide it. Now I don't have the experience that you other ladies have on here, so all I can do is to defer to your opinions and try to learn from them, but if he is going to say he saw me on Cerb, instead of my ad on Escorts Canada or my Web site, then I personally didn't think it was wrong to ask for his handle as well. I sort of draw a parallel of not accepting calls from blocked numbers, if that analogy makes sense...

[roamingguy 300292]

I actually find not wanting (or willing) to give your CERB handle a little odd. But I have seen one great lady who required verification, and am scheduling with a couple others who have verification procedures in place, and that includes your real name, phone, email, and in one case a confirmation pm from the board you are on to confirm handle with name

I'm have no problems providing that information

What really is the big deal in providing your CERB handle

But that's me

RG

[Winnipegcub 21293]

For me I've kinda created 2 worlds. My private world and my CERB/Hobby world. I honestly don't need a third or fourth. My email is also a version of my CERB handle 'Winnipegcub' for hobbying purposes.

 

Now I've always treated everyone in this part of my life with the utmost respect and seeing how the members of CERB operate has really made it easy. I've met some quality ladies and gents. So then I hope those who get to know Winnipegcub think of that person in a giving, generous, and respetful way. Thus when I meet someone in this part of my life I want them to know its Winnipegcub. I would hope it goes to creating my reputation.

 

I have had 'bad' dates, but again the lady was professional and we just accepted that we didn't connect. I don't believe she tarnished my reputation in anyway. And if so, I hope to have many more positive interactions than not so great...so trust in the end things will balance out and my reputation will in fact be - earned and me! Winnipegcub

[Tiffany Amber 7031]

We have already discussed this issue at length in a previous thread, but I really do not understand what the deal is about hiding everything about who you are!!

 

You know what we look like, somewhat of what kind of person we are by our posts and Ads, you know our phone number, email and once an appointment is booked you know where we live or recieve our incalls. There are sooooo many things YOU can do to us. What can we really do having a handle on a board? Or a phone number? We do not know anythign about you! So really what can we do?

 

This is our job, its what puts the food on the table and pays our rent! Unless you harmed us in any way, it would be a career ending move if we choose to do something with the info you provide us with.

 

What if we were raped or beaten half to death? The first thing out of your mouth would be "Do you know anything about the person?" NO, because we need the money to live and too many people are making a big fuss about giving a little of personal info, so all I know is he looks like..... and his name is John Doe!! Then we are a no longer considered a victim, we are just clueless!

 

YOU may not be a sicko, a rapist or a murderer, but who says the next guy after you is not???

[VedaSloan 119179]

Personally, the only reasons I can see for not giving a board handle when asked is that you are trying to be deceitful.