To the guys: Why?

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

So out doing the dog walk this morning. On a major busy road during what would be rush hour morning traffic.

 

I get honked at. I don’t get it. 

 

First, I look like a bag of shit. I’m wearing tights with basically a nightgown style shirt, hair in a bun covered by a hat because I haven’t showered yet. I pee then they pee, that is the first thing we do in the morning. So I’m not looking pretty.

 

Second, it is not like he would turn around if I waved him down. He was clearly headed to work in a work truck. 

 

So I don’t get it. Why? What is the purpose? What are you guys expecting? I’m going to wave you down and blow you in the street while holding a dog on a leash??? LMAO

 

It is the same with cat-calling. I don’t get the purpose. It is not for us women. We don’t like it for the most part. I would guess that 90%+ of women hate being honked at or catcalled. Personally I think it is for guys more then us. 

 

So what do guys get out of it? Why can’t guys just look and appreciate in silence.

 

Now to be clear, I’m not trying to start a bashing thread against men. I am truly trying to understand the reasons why and what the expectation is. Also, if guys know that most women don’t like, why purposely subject them to it? Or is it a absent-minded thing where they just don’t think of the women they are bothering? 

 

Opinions, please.....

[Guest]

       Not sure there's anything to justify that. There will always be a random ahole who'll spontaneously do something that will defy logic and common sense.

       I live downtown Ottawa and I seen this so often I got numb to it.

       Other than laugh it off or ignore it , there's not much else that can be done.

[NotchJohnson 214136]

I always wondered the same about many guys that do that.  The only time I have seen anything work was when a guy at a bar gives a  sexy comment to a girl walking by(if you want to call that cat-calling) and then a possible hook up, not by me because I'm too shy but some friends.

I have seen many women working the flower garden in just a T-shirt and panties bending over to remove weeds, or picking up the puppy or cat, I obviously look but never honk the horn.  Exception to this rule is when a bunch of us are riding the motorcycle and I know my buddies are looking I will honk my horn and keep looking straight ahead while she turns around and catches them looking at her. LOL just me being funny with my friends.

 

Ok, maybe women hate being honked or cat-called but in my younger days I have been cat-called by women, saying that I had a nice ass, or that they would love to see me in their beds etc... mainly when I was dressed as a fireman and walking in the first of July parade.  I did not mind it at all.  So this brings me to Jessica's question, why do guys do it.  Not myself but maybe because they want to have the same thing done to them.  I know what you ladies will say, "if we say anything like that to a guy he will think that we want to sleep with him"  am I right?

[drakas 67]

This does happen in public where I generally dislike being looked at weirdly by a stranger so I can relate LOL. Like WTF are you looking at? Doesn't happen crazy often or anything so maybe I'm not used to it but it's always weird especially from out of my direct field of view. If you want to stare deeply at someone get directly in front of them and catch their direct attention otherwise it's creepy. Same for honking, only honk people you know. Better yet pull over and say `hello`.

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

26 minutes ago, Greenteal said:

       Not sure there's anything to justify that. There will always be a random ahole who'll spontaneously do something that will defy logic and common sense.

       I live downtown Ottawa and I seen this so often I got numb to it.

       Other than laugh it off or ignore it , there's not much else that can be done.

My first reaction was “Ugh” and then I did kind of laugh it of, but it made me think. I don’t get it personally because I’m ugly int he morning. LOL I still had sleep in my eye. LOL

23 minutes ago, NotchJohnson said:

I always wondered the same about many guys that do that.  The only time I have seen anything work was when a guy at a bar gives a  sexy comment to a girl walking by(if you want to call that cat-calling) and then a possible hook up, not by me because I'm too shy but some friends.

I have seen many women working the flower garden in just a T-shirt and panties bending over to remove weeds, or picking up the puppy or cat, I obviously look but never honk the horn.  Exception to this rule is when a bunch of us are riding the motorcycle and I know my buddies are looking I will honk my horn and keep looking straight ahead while she turns around and catches them looking at her. LOL just me being funny with my friends.

 

Ok, maybe women hate being honked or cat-called but in my younger days I have been cat-called by women, saying that I had a nice ass, or that they would love to see me in their beds etc... mainly when I was dressed as a fireman and walking in the first of July parade.  I did not mind it at all.  So this brings me to Jessica's question, why do guys do it.  Not myself but maybe because they want to have the same thing done to them.  I know what you ladies will say, "if we say anything like that to a guy he will think that we want to sleep with him"  am I right?

I do agree that for most men, if you smile at them or compliment, they think you want to fuck them. Which 90% of the time, that is not the case. 

 

And I posted this on the other boards as well and one guy brought up the difference between men and women. I think women are taught to not be attention seekers because getting attention as a woman is wrong. So that could be why we don’t like being honked at or cat called. 

 

And ,men I think would like be cause they would be more accepting of the attention. 

 

Strange the difference in our gender thought process. 

 

I like looking at construction workers but I enjoy in silence. So I am curious as to the difference. 

3 minutes ago, drakas said:

This does happen in public where I generally dislike being looked at weirdly by a stranger so I can relate LOL. Like WTF are you looking at? Doesn't happen crazy often or anything so maybe I'm not used to it but it's always weird especially from out of my direct field of view. If you want to stare deeply at someone get directly in front of them and catch their direct attention otherwise it's creepy. Same for honking, only honk people you know. Better yet pull over and say `hello`.

 

That was me this morning. Why the fuck are you honking at me whenI look like shit. LMAO! 

 

I get it was just my body. I have curves, an hour glass figure so I get having the attraction, I just don’t get honking. What does the guy get out of it? 

[drakas 67]

5 minutes ago, Jessica Rain said:

 I just don’t get honking. What does the guy get out of it? 

 

[rob_otteast 142]

I think mostly it's because that's the best they have come up with so far. Not every guy knows how to hit on women, or approach them, or even just talk to them. For every guy in high school who dates and has girlfriends, there are lots of others who don't have a clue. And maybe it's just that in their circle of friends or social circumstances they happen not to know any women and have no way to meet any. I think this is a common situation. Now I understand that people with normal social lives think this is nonsense, but that's just because they have no clue how others live. Personally, I believe that the vast majority of men spend most of their lives not being able to get a date and later if they are lucky enough to meet someone and get married, they spend years never getting laid by their wives, for much the same reasons that they didn't get laid when they were single. They don't know how to ask. (There's also a related issue that many wives insist on only agreeing to sex if the husband slays a dragon or two first, that is, it has to be earned and earned and earned. I have known many men in that situation.) And I'm not suggesting that they are creeps or losers, of which there aren't that many anyway, I think that the majority of them are normal guys who just happen not to turn heads when they walk into a room and have run out of ideas.

One other possibility is maybe that kind of boorish behaviour works. It's unthinkable, for sure, but you have to consider the possibility.

I think that's at the root of it. Why we see rude in-car behaviour is probably the same reason that people do all kinds of things in cars that they wouldn't do in real life, including giving people the finger or threatening others when they make a driving mistake. It's probably not unlike the pathology of most social media. 

Life would be so much easier if you could just walk into a place, get a quick $50 tug on the way to work, get it out of your system and go on your way, without worrying about being arrested. It's astonishing to me that we put up with that.

[NotchJohnson 214136]

1 hour ago, Jessica Rain said:

My first reaction was “Ugh” and then I did kind of laugh it of, but it made me think. I don’t get it personally because I’m ugly int he morning. LOL I still had sleep in my eye. LOL

 

Trust me Jessica, they were not honking because of your sleepy eyes...just saying !

[drakas 67]

3 hours ago, Jessica Rain said:

I’m wearing tights with basically a nightgown style shirt, hair in a bun covered by a hat because I haven’t showered yet. I pee then they pee, that is the first thing we do in the morning. So I’m not looking pretty.

To be fair, this description sounds hot as fuck, and I do really dig a casual/messy/stinky appearance on a beautiful woman (which I'm sure you are). So imma give you a HONK HONK right here!! lol

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

11 hours ago, clearbluesky15 said:

Lol, I've heard of this sort of honking and cat calling... not sure if I've personally seen it... never understood it.

I'm having trouble with "its a guy thing" ... I just don't think the guys I know would do it... so at least I can say it's not a universal guy thing... don't know.

 

Actually I brought this up to a woman last night and she said she will honk at men walking by. I thought great! I can find out the reason. She said because men do it. D’oh! 

 

Not the answer I was looking for. LOL

[Guest]

27 minutes ago, Jessica Rain said:

Actually I brought this up to a woman last night and she said she will honk at men walking by. I thought great! I can find out the reason. She said because men do it. D’oh! 

   This is mirroring your thread about "Double standards". Two wrongs don't make a right.

   If she can't be part of the solution, she could at least try not being part of the problem. 

    

[zoneman 357]

To be honest I’ve never understood why men do it, I’ve never personally witnessed this happen and I’ve never done it myself so I guess I just understand why you do such a thing.

As for me, no woman has ever honked at me or cat called to me. I have however been complimented in public by women, either cashiers or servers at restaurants. I usually get comments on my eyes as I have long eye lashes and women seem to like them. It hasn’t happened in a bit but it used to happen a lot in my 20’s much to my wife’s chagrin. 
 

[drakas 67]

1 hour ago, clearbluesky15 said:

I just don't get the sense that outside of Bratt-Pitt types, that such attention is part of the daily life of a guy... 

I get checked out at least once every time I go out in public, and I'm like a 6.. so I'm sure some would love to cat call or honk me if it wasn't normally such a weird thing to do

[mb139 1005]

Honestly couldn't say. I work in a place where such things are highly frowned upon and well.. you really never see it. Though I suspect in other less regulated workplaces it could be more common.  In their heads maybe they think they are complimenting the person, but really all they are doing is objectifying.

[Prufrock's Back 165]

"On a major busy road during what would be rush hour morning traffic."

Sounds like a lot of random honking may have gone on during rush hour because the driver was pissed off with the driver in front of him...call me Matlock, mystery solved 😉

[Andee 220524]

I just chalk it up to men being boys. I don’t respond or let it get to me. Not to say I condone such behaviour but unless someone in my face threatening me, I just ignore it.

[Furlong24 18]

I think the honking, by both sides, is a show of respect.  They are driving by, can't stop and get out but they just send a message saying ' you're very pretty, love your hair, nice outfit etc'.  Jessica, you are gorgeous no matter what time of day or what kind of clothes you're wearing. 

 

[gogofmagog 655]

Lighten up.  It's a compliment.  

I would worry when the honking stops.

[Bobby Keys 39]

Absolutely right that it is guys showing off for guys.  I’ll bet you 10:1 there was At least two in the truck.  Think of it as a form of chest beating.  He was telling his buddies how virile he thinks he is at your expense.

if he was alone, I am lost - I don’t do it myself and there has always been another present when I have witnessed this behavior, so always assumed they were being assholes to show off.

My apologies for some other members of my gender who still drag their nuckles.

[Tesla 668]

Such disrespect. Can’t understand the mindset of someone who does these types of acts.

[Frankie Boudreaux 30]

I think it's for personal entertainment. Most guys whom I've met like this seem to mostly be caught in their own head No way to tell the reasoning for sure but probably to get some form of attention. Like when you are on the playground and some kid decides to pinch you or call you a name. Child's play.

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

On 10/31/2019 at 3:34 PM, Bobby Keys said:

Absolutely right that it is guys showing off for guys.  I’ll bet you 10:1 there was At least two in the truck.  Think of it as a form of chest beating.  He was telling his buddies how virile he thinks he is at your expense.

if he was alone, I am lost - I don’t do it myself and there has always been another present when I have witnessed this behavior, so always assumed they were being assholes to show off.

My apologies for some other members of my gender who still drag their nuckles.

Lol. I was not offended but more curious. 
 

I wish I had of seen if there was two guys in the car. I think the showing off idea is a good reasoning. 

[NotchJohnson 214136]

It looks like it is a normal thing according to this song,  Just listen to the words at 0.27.