vegeta85 1675 Report post Posted September 29, 2019 I have a question for all the ladies with partners. How do you balance your personal and professional life in regards to them ? Do they know that you escort or do you keep them in the dark about it ? Well that was two questions haha. Anyway, I'm not judging you on how you live your life I'm just curious. Thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted September 29, 2019 I'm not a woman, but I was a service provider and was in relationships. I think part of it depends on who you are with. In my previous relationship, she had no qualms about what I was doing. My current is different; I stopped doing massage once we became "serious". She was not open to it so I had a decision to make. I know many women in this biz, and I don't know any who keep it from their partner. You make sure that you significant other is ok with it, maybe set up some guidelines, and always be open and honest about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vegeta85 1675 Report post Posted September 29, 2019 I know one who keeps it secret from her boyfriend, and I was wondering if that was the norm. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rubylabellexo 1144 Report post Posted September 30, 2019 I've mostly shied away from dating. I did end up dating one guy for over half a year though. I knew him for a few months before we started seeing each other and broached the subject within a few dates. How I approach the conversation will depend on the circumstances, but I wouldn't date someone without disclosing my involvement in sex work. It would be too stressful/too much of a double life, and I don't feel that this is ethical. I do believe it's ok to date someone casually without disclosing, as long as you're upfront about not being sexually exclusive with them. With my previous partner, I started the convo by asking if he'd been in any non-monogamous relationships, and how that had worked out for him. He decided that he was ok with me being a sex worker, and handled it very well. It was never a source of tension between us 🙂 We only saw each other a couple of times a week at most, excluding traveling together, so finding balance wasn't too tricky. When we were together I ignored work-related tasks, unless it was a quick confirmation text or similar. We discussed boundaries re: how informed he wanted to be about my work. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exotic Touch Danielle 31713 Report post Posted October 4, 2019 I am open and honest with whom i am dating its on him wether or not he trusts me and is able to deal with it emotionaly i wouldnt keep it a secret because he has that right to walk away if he is not comfortable..i keep my personal life seperate from this and will not discuss anything about my rekationships with my cliental We are all human and have emotional needs I provide you a fantasy 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vegeta85 1675 Report post Posted October 16, 2019 What's it like having sex with a client versus with your partner? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted October 16, 2019 (edited) In answer to the above question before me that I couldn’t quote for some reason, that is a very personal question that I’m sure most SPs would never feel obligated to answer. And if they do, everyone is different and may not choose to tell the truth. Unless an SP reveals she has a partner, it’s not your business to ask. How about this for an answer: sex is great with my partner and with clients it’s just about the money. Which by the way is not necessarily true / sometimes we hit the jackpot so to speak (in terms of a connection) with clients. But in fairness to all, better left unsaid. Edited October 16, 2019 by Mature Angela 3 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted October 16, 2019 Quite frankly I file. this under none of your business. What a client and a provider discuss when together is between them. But in no way is it a good idea to try to illicit information from a provider. If she feels comfortable enough she may impart personal information just as a client would. I would never ask anyone any personal information but will listen should they decide to speak to me about it. It's called respect! 6 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vegeta85 1675 Report post Posted October 16, 2019 I didn't mean to pry into your personal lives, so I apologize if that question was intrusive. I'm just interested in you ladies and what makes you tick, ya know ? Anyway I meant no offense. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Liv Waters 52360 Report post Posted October 23, 2019 With respect We give so much of ourselves, emotionally and otherwise. What is shared in each context is distinct, and unless that information is shared organically, it’s most respectful not to ask. I’m not a puzzle or clock to be deconstructed. Our personal life and love relationships are our own and off limits to prying... keeping those distinctions, without having to remind patrons about that is a sign of respect... one that goes a long way in my own practice of determining whether someone is putting up red flags... as it’s a theme that comes up too often, I’m afraid. So, if the question seems to evoke a strong response, now you know why 😉. All the best, Liv 5 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
katie 1337 Report post Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) On September 29, 2019 at 8:07 PM, vegeta85 said: I have a question for all the ladies with partners. How do you balance your personal and professional life in regards to them ? Do they know that you escort or do you keep them in the dark about it ? Well that was two questions haha. Anyway, I'm not judging you on how you live your life I'm just curious. Thanks "vegeta85", I Know There Are Lots Of Service Providers Out There... That Do Talk About Their Personal Life. Telling the Hobbyest (1st Meeting or Not), Everything from "Their Real Name, Their Status, Admitting Their Drug Addiction,(**Not All Sp's Have Habits**) Even Chat About Other Clients" Although, I Know There Are Lots That Don't Chat, Nor Expect To Be Asked ... Anything About Their Private Life. "This Part Of My Life is a Secret" ... "Just Like This Part of A Hobbyist Life is Secret Also" I Provide .. You Seek = 100% Discretion Everyone is Different .. Not Really Sure Why So Much Personal Information is Told on some Sp's Part ... But To Each Their Own. 😉 Yes.. This Kind of Question .. Would Get a "Strong Response From Most" Service Provider Life VS Personal Life .. Most times is "Separate" The Exact Same as " Being A Hobbyist" xoxo's 😘 Edited October 23, 2019 by katie Spelling 1 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Studio 110 by Sophia 150333 Report post Posted October 23, 2019 Humm, so why is this even a topic or question? I mean do we make it an issue if our patrons are married? Or GF? Why is this questioned? I have been open and honest with everything in my career. From updated photos, to my true age, true phone number. And yes after becoming comfortable I will converse honestly from politics, belief systems, family life. As I feel to have an truly open flowing conversation between myself and my visitor is the only way to build a longlasting professional friendship. And I am just not one to fake myself or hide 😂 I will discuse what I feel is important at the time. Perhaps to help you know that your not alone with issues you have placed on the table. And that we both can discuss and learn from one another. Or perhaps to correct you in a missed interpretation/ stigma of who we are as woman SW. My question is. WHY DOES IT MATTER? WHY DO HOBBIEST ASK WHEN THEY DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH? Is it that you are scared a " fella is lurking in the closet?? " 😂 If so, you should be asking yourself " what kinda of rep or history research did I do before bookng her?" Anyhow, .. I am walking away from this laughing and shaking my head as to the purpose behind this thread 😳☺ I can tell ya tho, about most of the ladies I know or have known all have a partner in life. Cause well, we are pretty awesome women...no? 6 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Studio 110 by Sophia 150333 Report post Posted October 23, 2019 On 9/29/2019 at 8:07 PM, vegeta85 said: I have a question for all the ladies with partners. How do you balance your personal and professional life in regards to them ? Do they know that you escort or do you keep them in the dark about it ? Well that was two questions haha. Anyway, I'm not judging you on how you live your life I'm just curious. Thanks I am also currious, vegeta85 are you married? Single? Dating? How do YOU balance this? Do you tell dating friends or your wife about us? Do you balance this hobby with all your personal friends? If not why? Do you keep them in the dark?? Do I care??? NOPE! Why did table only turn one way? Curious. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
katie 1337 Report post Posted October 23, 2019 9 minutes ago, Studio 110 by Sophia said: And I am just not one to fake myself or hide 😂 Being Yourself and Only Yourself... There's No Other Way To Be ☺️ 16 minutes ago, Studio 110 by Sophia said: n tell ya tho, about most of the ladies I know or have known all have a partner in life. Cause well, we are pretty awesome women...no? YES! 😘...I Think We Are Pretty Awesome Women! Living 2 Separate Lives, Separating Personal From Service Provider.. And Being Real ...Does Take Someone Special .. In My Opinion 😀 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
katie 1337 Report post Posted October 23, 2019 7 minutes ago, Studio 110 by Sophia said: I am also currious, vegeta85 are you married? Single? Dating? How do YOU balance this? Do you tell dating friends or your wife about us? Do you balance this hobby with all your personal friends? If not why? Do you keep them in the dark?? Do I care??? NOPE! Why did table only turn one way? Curious. I Was Thinking The Same Thing. 😏... We (Sp's) Are Human Too.. We Have Needs,Emotions.. And A Life Outside of "Providing Service" ... The Same as All Hobbyist 😘 2 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vegeta85 1675 Report post Posted October 24, 2019 I agree that most of you are awesome people, and I appreciate you. I've been nothing but a gentleman to all the ladies I've seen. Do I ask them about their personal relationships? Apart from one, no. That lady, by the way, I've been seeing regularly for 2.5 years and is pretty open as I am with her. That is the only exception, every other lady I've seen has only been for a fun time, nothing more. I most certainly respect boundaries. Oh and I'm not a "scared fella lurking in the closet" 🙄 In any case I inadvertently crossed the line, and I'm sincerely sorry for that. I will not be asking any more questions on this topic. Yes, I am indeed single. Would I be hobbying if I were in a relationship? Probably not. Do I judge the hobbyists or service providers who do/are? Nope. V 2 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jasmine Rain 23126 Report post Posted October 29, 2019 On 10/23/2019 at 10:38 PM, vegeta85 said: I agree that most of you are awesome people, and I appreciate you. I've been nothing but a gentleman to all the ladies I've seen. Do I ask them about their personal relationships? Apart from one, no. That lady, by the way, I've been seeing regularly for 2.5 years and is pretty open as I am with her. That is the only exception, every other lady I've seen has only been for a fun time, nothing more. I most certainly respect boundaries. Oh and I'm not a "scared fella lurking in the closet" 🙄 In any case I inadvertently crossed the line, and I'm sincerely sorry for that. I will not be asking any more questions on this topic. Yes, I am indeed single. Would I be hobbying if I were in a relationship? Probably not. Do I judge the hobbyists or service providers who do/are? Nope. V You just kinda need to see it from our side. Review boards have tons of men asking either the same questions over and over or asking questions that are slightly invasive as this one was. Don’t get me wrong, I get the curiously, but sometimes we just have to live with being curious and I see you understand that. I will tell you for me, I am single and this is my form of dating. Paid dating, but dating nonetheless 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vegeta85 1675 Report post Posted October 29, 2019 3 minutes ago, Jessica Rain said: You just kinda need to see it from our side. Review boards have tons of men asking either the same questions over and over or asking questions that are slightly invasive as this one was. Don’t get me wrong, I get the curiously, but sometimes we just have to live with being curious and I see you understand that. I will tell you for me, I am single and this is my form of dating. Paid dating, but dating nonetheless It's my dating too 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frankie Boudreaux 30 Report post Posted December 10, 2019 My answer is more about taking care of yourself over balancing. Self care and self respect. I'm elaborating for folks who may be questioning how to balance their lives as it can be exhausting. I feel it's chalked up to who you are with and your general lifestyle as a whole. Some folks like to keep work and personal completely separate and some prefer the latter. I can't speak for anyone else on this. I'm incredibly picky with who I let in my life regardless of personal or not and it's from toxic relationships as a whole. To me balancing my life means putting myself first. Doing so has enriched my work life and personal life. I'm a nester and homebody with the odd need for adventure, I seek out folks that are looking for mutually beneficial relationships with me that don't require to have to hide any aspects of myself or feel the need to push for intimacy. I see it no different than if I worked in a stressful office setting. I make a shopping list and do my laundry just like everyone else. However, sex work is very vulnerable work to me. I take steps to ensure I am dating someone who can allow room for me to collect myself and cultivate space for my personal sexuality with that person. Also, it's important to be in a relationship that allows me my own individualism as well . If we communicate and respect one another with pure honesty and validation there shouldn't be issue with balancing both lives. In the past sex work caused me to close off in personal relationships due to exhaustion feeling deterred by intimacy. You can imaine it caused absolute chaos. I have now created a work life to rotate around my personal life and not the other way around. There's learning curves in any relationship and I don't think there's a proper cheat code on relationships regardless of your work Regarding the folks I am accommodating companionship to - I'm pretty open about some of my personal life and like to think that those that are uncomfortable with me dating privately won't book with me. I can live with that perfectly fine. Take care of yourselves x 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest PetraPegasus Report post Posted December 11, 2019 (edited) Without disclosing too much detail. I have been with my SO for 6 years. Open about everything. 💓 Nothing to hide. A support team is good to have 🍑 Edited December 11, 2019 by PetraPegasus Edit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
