References & "Our Feelings"

[sandimoon 72517]

Kubrickfan

if the whole damn thing is just a fantasy for money, and there is no sincerity or sense of interest in the person you are with, I have zero desire to make an appointment with that lady

I really don`t see the rationale behind this statement.

You are seeing a woman who may or may not be using her real name, living a secret life, seeing & sleeping with other men & all the while trying fulfil the expectation of what each ( including you ) wants her to be. That is by definition a fantasy.

You may also be involved with someone else, even married with kids & I highly doubt you are keen to invite your favourite SP to your next real life family function. And that of course is reasonable.

While you may grow very fond of each other, the reality is that the SP/Client relationship is based on some mutual subterfuge.

And naturally of financial consideration. A fact with which you are both acutely aware going in. As such I personally am not under ANY illusion that I am to be the next Mrs. So & So no matter how much a gentleman enjoys my company.

However, simply because I am compensated for my time, my behaviour should in NO way be construed as insincere or bereft of genuine affection.

The two need not be mutually exclusive.

And I fundamentally disagree with anyone who says, "well, that's just your fantasy.". It's not ... It's my way of life, and I suspect I share that with a lot of other guys here.

I suspect that you are in the minority. In fact I hope you are.

If a man I meet escorting grows to consider our relationship as a way of life for him & not a hobby ( it has happened to me ) out of an abundance of caution I feel it necessary to part ways. ( and have )

By the same token if an SP becomes needy, demanding & jealous with you I would fully support your decision to do the same.

As Samantha clearly stated: boundaries are necessary on both sides or lives can get ruined.

Which is why I must agree with Emily`s OP.

Alluding that any SP, especially one with her stellar reputation, would react in a possessive, adolescent manner following a request for a reference is absurd.

To assume her ego would take priority over another ladies comfort or safety is an affront to her character, professionalism & she has every right to feel hurt & offended.

It comes as no surprise to a secure & intelligent lady that you may want variety in your lives.

We`re all big girls here.

Take the kid gloves off & just be honest with us.

Trust me, we can take it!!

Sandi

 

 

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Respectfully, you are misreading my post ... I never said, or meant to imply, that meeting with Sp's is my way of life. Far from it ... This is something I only do on my trips to Ottawa given the legalities.

 

My "way of life" ... The way I was referring to it in my posts ...is to try to have a sincere interaction with everyone I meet including the ladies I have been fortunate enough to meet that are SPs. My life is richer for having done so. If that puts me in the minority, so be it.

 

And I'm not interested in meeting SPs that I perceive are just putting on an act for me. Heck, maybe they are anyway (smile).

 

And I stick by my posts here on this topic. No one knows why the person Emily refers to in her original posts got into the issue she is referring to. Maybe he was being petty and a bit immature. But it sure sounds to me like something that a nice guy might do to stay out of a conflict.

 

I will say something that is a bit controversial ... It seems like there have been a lot of topics here recently where people are crabby for one reason or another due to recommendations. If the ladies would stop assuming that they are ever entitled to them, and if the guys would get off their butts and post them when appropriate, we would all be much happier.

[Apex2006 1071]

I find it funny as some people are making it sound like they feel that they are cheeting on an SP? :icon_confused:

 

Is that not the hole point of this website so that there is no guilty feeling and to try new things?

:sadomaso:

[EmilyRushton 253372]

 

And I stick by my posts here on this topic. No one knows why the person Emily refers to in her original posts got into the issue she is referring to. Maybe he was being petty and a bit immature. But it sure sounds to me like something that a nice guy might do to stay out of a conflict.

 

I will say something that is a bit controversial ... It seems like there have been a lot of topics here recently where people are crabby for one reason or another due to recommendations. If the ladies would stop assuming that they are ever entitled to them, and if the guys would get off their butts and post them when appropriate, we would all be much happier.

 

 

Well to clairify a few things, I was not looking for a recommendation, I was seeking a reference (completely different) which he said he had, he then told me who it was but then said I do not think you should contact her as she may not like it (this companion is reference friendly and I have been in touch with her in the past) Then he asked to use another lady, one of whom does not even ask for first names and books from payphones (so for my safety and those I know, I would never accept it). I do not understand what the big deal is, if you enjoy your regular companion SO much and are worried of her thoughts (which I am sure 99% of the ladies would be more than happy to vouch for you to see another companion) If it is going to bother you so much, like anything else WHY see someone else, or better yet find a companion that does not require a reference.

 

I have made it clear to those I have spent time with that I am more than happy to vouch for them if ever needed. What I do not need is someone saying well I've seen Emily and she will be hurt if I use her name. Any companion who contacts me for a reference knows I screen thoroughly and never has to worry as I would only give my honest feedback. A reference is a matter of some ones safety and well being, if I choose not to give a reference and something happened to that companion during her date I would NEVER forgive myself.

 

We are NOT in high school any more, its time everyone treats others with respect, stops making assumptions (unless they know the truth) and deals with this hobby the way it is meant to be dealt with - Relaxing and Fun

 

This is an industry that really has no regulations so to speak and ladies run there business how they see fit....One can only hope that one day a valid reference is a requirement by all companions.

 

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Emily --

 

Thanks for the clarification and I apologize for any confusion I may have contributed to by confusing referrals and recommendations ... Obviously two very different things. And it certainly wasn't your original post, as much as the subsequent comments, that I was commenting on.

[Guest s******ecan****]

And I'm not interested in meeting SPs that I perceive are just putting on an act for me.

 

 

Well we're talking about a paid service. Sex for money. So while we all may have different interpretations of what is considered to be "acting" its silly to assume the SP is meeting you for any other reason other than the financial reward.

 

Most SP's I know share Berlin's sentiments. They care about their clients (from a customer service satisfaction standpoint) but again this caring stems mostly from a pride in profession and desire for repeat business, not because they have a personal fondness us.

 

For gents (such as the client Emily refers to) to bring any emotion into the scenario is almost always a bad idea and leads to misinterpretations such as the one that this thread is about.

 

The essence of this industry is about paying for sexual services....not relationship experiences

[roamingguy 300292]

 

Well to clairify a few things, I was not looking for a recommendation, I was seeking a reference (completely different) which he said he had, he then told me who it was but then said I do not think you should contact her as she may not like it (this companion is reference friendly and I have been in touch with her in the past) Then he asked to use another lady, one of whom does not even ask for first names and books from payphones (so for my safety and those I know, I would never accept it). I do not understand what the big deal is, if you enjoy your regular companion SO much and are worried of her thoughts (which I am sure 99% of the ladies would be more than happy to vouch for you to see another companion) If it is going to bother you so much, like anything else WHY see someone else, or better yet find a companion that does not require a reference.

 

I have made it clear to those I have spent time with that I am more than happy to vouch for them if ever needed. What I do not need is someone saying well I've seen Emily and she will be hurt if I use her name. Any companion who contacts me for a reference knows I screen thoroughly and never has to worry as I would only give my honest feedback. A reference is a matter of some ones safety and well being, if I choose not to give a reference and something happened to that companion during her date I would NEVER forgive myself.

 

We are NOT in high school any more, its time everyone treats others with respect, stops making assumptions (unless they know the truth) and deals with this hobby the way it is meant to be dealt with - Relaxing and Fun

 

This is an industry that really has no regulations so to speak and ladies run there business how they see fit....One can only hope that one day a valid reference is a requirement by all companions.

 

 

And it's great that there are ladies, like Emily, who will provide references for the guys. While most of us treat ladies with the utmost respect and act like gentleman, there are some guys out there that are to put it kindly, less than stellar, and can cause the ladies problems. I only like to contact the lady that I wish to use as a reference ahead of time to ask her permission. I just consider it a polite thing to do. I guess a email out of the blue from a lady to another lady wanting a reference on a guy, well, imho, kinda rude not asking the lady's permission first

Some quick ramblings from a guy who has no issues being verified. It makes the ladies safe and that's enough reason to do it...but the added bonus, it establishes a trusting relationship before you even meet

RG