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I realize that it takes some a special skill set to excel in this field and was wondering where/how a provider learns the people skills, the business skills and the session skills?

 

If a person is contemplating entering this profession, would you have advice for them as to how to acquire these skills?

 

r100rs

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For me, it was the realization that I had all of those skills that helped me make the jump into the biz. I don't think there really is any way to help people gain these skills unfortunately, other than just living. I have a great business background, customer service background, and a great love of sex. So this biz was natural for me!

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Guest S**a*Q

I came from a retail management background. Running a business is only natural to me. This is technically a small business with the product being myself. Again as Cleo stated, I just fit into this business. My background and schooling help me a lot with the interpersonal skills that you require in this industry. The fact that I love to give and receive orgasms, well that's just an added bonus! ;)

 

However, in the beginning, I learned from mostly online research as there was few books on the subject. Then I came across cerb and it was my greatest learning asset in my development of this career.

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Ive always been a poeple person. Always open and friendly, and ive always loved sex, so why not make a profession out of it. I think to really excel in this business you need to be open-minded and have good people-skills, not be shy, and just learn as you go. Thats what i did.

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All of the skills the ladies have described can prove invaluable in this business. But also, good old experience from the school of hard knocks is the only way to really learn the ropes so to speak.

 

We are very fortunate now days to have online communities like CERB to share our experiences. When I first got into the business, it was agency out-calls and it seemed like "no-one" would tell you anything.

 

I learned a lot of things by trial and error. Which is why now I am committed to mentoring or helping any SP (who is mature and committed to being the best they can be) who may ask for guidance.

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Many of the ladies here are mature enough to feel honored to help someone start out. AngelaOfOttawa had put her name forward, and quite a number of others would as well.

 

In terms of agency like setup I believe the French Kiss Society has a mentoring setup.

Edited by etasman2000
adding FKS

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A school would be great! :idea:

There`d be no shortage of volunteer study subjects I`m sure! :rolleyes:

I am from the same background as Angela.

I started at an Outcall Agency going 16 years by then, very established & respected.

We booked our own appointments over the phone.

Within a couple of months I was training new girls how to make those calls

and I still try to help if I believe she is sincere & can handle it.

But I started at 32, am confident anyway so I learned quickly how to present myself well in that initial contact & more importantly how to weed out potential problems. Best training to go independent really so I got lucky.

Set the business aspect aside though what it really comes down to is this:

I like sex, meeting new people &

I really like having sex with new people. :hump: :work4sex:

You can learn finance, marketing, be hot as hell & smart as a whip

but if you don`t honestly love this life you`re not gonna make it.

No school for faking horny & try as you may it WILL show.

Sandi

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Guest C*****tte

One has to be careful because it is against the law to encourage someone to become a prostitute. Mentoring someone could fall under this law. I do not know anyone who has been charged outside of an agency or pimp situation but it should be something you consider when advising other ladies. I tend to stick with offering support to friends and not girls who contact me out of the blue.

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One has to be careful because it is against the law to encourage someone to become a prostitute. Mentoring someone could fall under this law. I do not know anyone who has been charged outside of an agency or pimp situation but it should be something you consider when advising other ladies. I tend to stick with offering support to friends and not girls who contact me out of the blue.

 

Agree. There are many online resources available with a wealth of information where ladies can start. For ladies who contact me out of the blue, this is where I direct them to - my cache of useful links.

 

I have learned some lessons along the way myself about being careful not to be construed as procuring. It's important for Sps to be educated and self-empowered and nutured and supported, not exploited by others with an agenda.

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I worked for an agency for 3 months and then decided to go on my own. Everything I learned has been through trial and error and on the advice of other ladies. If you know someone who is looking to enter this business, they should start with a reputable agency or try to gain information on sites such as this before they actually get their feet wet. I've also seen e-books on how to become an escort and actually read one of them but it was laughable and the legal advice was no applicable to Canada because it was written according to U.S. laws.

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I started blind and on a whim. Trial and error for sure but I really want to thank Angela for being my rock!!! Then came Nicki! Both of these ladies are always there for me when I need advice! I also feel that Cerb is a great tool and all of the wonderful supportive ladies that are here have helped along the way!

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Speaking of "SP school", there was mention on Twitter of a website referring to "Whore College" (http://www.whorecollege.org) which consists of a series of workshops for sexworkers, taking place during the upcoming San Francisco Sex Worker Film and Arts Festival, May 20-29, 2011 (http://www.sexworkerfest.com)

 

The workshop schedule is not out yet, but according to the info on Twitter, one of the workshops is entitled "Creating mutually rewarding sexworker-client relationships".

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I jumped in blind and learned through trial and error.

 

There are some skills, though, which are invaluable and hard to learn/teach, such as good ol' intuition. Being able to read your clients and anticipate his needs and desires (many of which are unspoken) is a talent.

 

My advice to new girls is to do your research. There are so many resources available to you that weren't around 10-15 years ago.

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Most anyone can learn to b good at sex if it dosnt come naturally but not every body is good at being organised and time managing. And some women just can't learn these skills like others. Thats where its good to have another escort friend to give tips or even a business manager/partner or else go to the agencies - there's lots of good ones too!

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Like the Mabelline cosmetics slogan "MAYBE SHES BORN WITH IT"

 

The Sex trade dates back many years, takes a certain someone that can do this kind of work. Not just anyone can be groomed for it and you can't groom someone elses mental state. You can learn all the skills you need to please a man physically but there is much more psychology involved in turning on and keeping a man pleased and interested that can only be self-taught by personal experiences.

To be a succesful sex worker we need to posses many skills. We are a combination of medical doctors, pshyciatrists, social workers, therapists, personal aid, confidant, entrepreneurs, teachers,marketers...all rolled up.

Take "pole classes" for instance, a well known exercise program offered for woman learning all the sexy moves on the pole. Well if anyone took the course thinking they can be a stripper after that because they can master a grind and flip position they have been mistaken. Special moves and looking good won't pay the bills. Men generally don't return to mechanical woman that have no interpersonal and communication skills. The entire package comes with the woman, like an innate behavior, you're either born with it or not and baby I was born with it. I'm not saying that trained woman can't be workers, just not the best of the best. I agree that you need to love what you do to be successful and all the training in the world can't give this to you.

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The interpersonal skills, definitely a big big big must have.

First lady I saw, second words out of her mouth "gotta pay the bills hun, gotta pay the bills"...a do not see again

Third lady I saw, so called conversation was more a Q & A...like an interview.

Felt like she had a rehearsed script of questions to ask, certain amount of time for this "conversation", then the business end of the encounter...what she didn't get, the whole purpose, at least IMHO, is the social/interpersonal/communication and sexual encounter with the lady.

For me, seeing a lady is much more than sexual...she's a do not see again

If seeing ladies was simply sexual, nothing more, then the guy should find the one who does the most menu services for the lowest rate possible.

For me, its not the menu, it's the lady, and each and every lady brings her own uniqueness to an encounter

RG

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A school for paid companions sounds like a good idea, but as long as there are so many legal restrictions on sex work, and as long as there is such a negative stigma about being a courtesan/paid companion/prostitute/erotic entertainer/erotic masseuse, etc., I think it's just a fantasy, and a fairly romantic one at that. Intriguing as it is to think about going to a courtesan school to learn the intricacies of the Kama Sutra, the most important thing that new companions need to learn is how to keep themselves safe from harm.

 

While there are companions who have made a free and deliberate choice to go into the sex trade because they genuinely want to do the work, their number is very small. The simple fact is that most women enter this business because something has happened to make this choice necessary. Many of us are mothers who had an urgent need to make a significant income very quickly so that we can take care of our children in safety. Few enter this industry whole. Most women stay in the sex trade for less than six months before moving on to something else because they find that they don't enjoy the work, it's not what they expected it to be, they've solved some of their major financial problems, and/or other "straight" options have opened up for them.

 

Having said this, I should also say that, as with many other things in life, why one starts to do something is one thing, and why one continues to do it is often a different one. I would be very interested in doing some well-focused "continuing education" with other companions who have been doing the work for awhile and expect to continue to doing it. Studying the Kama Sutra would be fun. Honest, realistic information about investment strategies and financial planning would be useful. Exchanging stories would be terrific, too!

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