Corrupted Genie Game

[Guest s******ecan****]

Ok a new game especially designed for all of those CERBITES with a particularly twisted sense of humour.

 

Rules: You post a wish, the next poster then posts a corruption of that wish (unforseen consequences, unintended harm, altering of the time space continuum etc)...you get the idea.

 

Here is an example to get you thinking (I in fact think this one has actually come true for someone).

 

Wish - I wish the Leafs would win the Stanley Cup this Year.

 

Corrupted Genie say:

 

Buahahahahahahahha!!! You are sent to the year 1942 to watch the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup. In August of 1942 you are sent off to fight the war in Europe never to return home again...

 

Back in the present, the Leafs continue their woeful play and anyone born later than 1967 never live to see the Leafs win the Stanley Cup even with the medical advances that extend lives upto 150 years...

So for the next poster here is my wish -

 

I wish I was a rockstar

[luvsyofap 215]

Genie's responce: you are now Nickelback

 

My wish: I wish I had a bigger dick

[Guest tr*****e]

Corrupted Genie: Mwuahahahahahahahaha! Now you have erectile dysfunction!! :icon_twisted:

 

Next poster: I wish I was a cybernetic dark Jedi

[Guest s******ecan****]

Corrupt Genie say granted.

 

You now have an extended lifespan due to your half mechanical nature forcing you to spend countless hours in cybernetic repair shops being fleeced with outrageous service fees and paying exhorbitant prices for name brand replacement parts.

 

Your need to pay bills, combined with your cult like celebrity status forces you to spend all of your free time attending Sci Fi, comic, and Star Wars conventions signing autographs and engaging in mind numbing conversations with slurpee guzziling groupies who want to

1 know your position on Jar-Jar Binks.

 

I wish I could fly

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Corrupted genie:

Wish granted! Now you have to escape Citronnelle, electric bug traps and human slaps!.. HaHaHa!

 

Next wish:

I wish I was a cat, so I'd have nothing to care about...

[Guest s******ecan****]

Wish granted, faced with the choice of wet or dry catfood you develop an insatiable desire to hunt rats.

 

I wish I had a endless supply of beer.

[Apex2006 1071]

Wish granted, now you have to drink only labatt 50 for the rest of your life and nothing else!

 

I wish I could have a one night stand with Angolina Jolie! (Without Brad)

[docottawa 541]

...and with a grand flourish your wish is granted!

 

The candles are lit. The wine is poured. The bed is large and inviting. Angelina is waiting for you. She is wearing a beautiful silk kimono and she beckons you forward with one perfectly manicured finger. You swallow once, take a deep breath and swallow again. You move slowly towards the bed unwilling, maybe even unable, to break eye contact. You reach her side and she takes you by the hand. She pulls you close, cheek to cheek and whispers..."I've been waiting for you..."

 

The bedroom door crashes open as her whole brood come charging in and jumps up on the bed.

 

"The nanny has the night off. Thanks for agreeing to take care of my kids. Oh yes, the youngest has an explosive case of Montezuma's revenge. Be sure to check on him every hour or so. See you in the morning!"

 

 

The doc wishes that he had mind control powers.

[roamingguy 300292]

Your wish is granted, you have mind control powers...but you live isolated alone with no one around for thousands of miles

 

Me, I wish for happiness

 

RG

[Old Dog 179138]

Wish granted!!! Happiness is yours!

 

Whoops. With that smile on your face ALL the time, people begin to talk. Finally a decision is made to have you institutionalized and tragically lobotomized. You are happy... as happy as an empty jar.

 

Me I wish for a ton of MONEY!

[roamingguy 300292]

Your wish is granted...unfortunately the ton of money you get belongs to the Russian Mob, they get it back, and your claim to fame is becoming the star (in name only) of a Law and Order episode.

 

My wish, to live closer (or in) either Ottawa or Toronto to be able to hobby more frequently

 

RG

[Apex2006 1071]

Your wish has been granted, you now live in a LARGE condo right in the market of Ottawa, but there are no more SP's as they have all moved to Toronto to work in the new Red Light district.

 

I wish that I could rent the larges hotel room I could find and have all SP's around for my own orgy!

[roamingguy 300292]

Your wish is granted...you have the largest suite available. Unfortunately by the time the hotel is constructed that has this big enough suite to allow you this orgy, all the sp's have retired, and all your left with is a Playboy and your hand

 

Me, I wish that I sell the condo in Ottawa for a obscenely embarrassing profit

(Donald Trump would be proud of my business prowess), and I move to Toronto and get a nice condo dirt cheap

 

RG

[Apex2006 1071]

Your wish has come true, sold you condo for 8 times what you paid, and purchased a cheep condo in downtown Toronto, but the condo fees are $20,000 a month as the building is owned by Donald Trump, when you can pay he turns to you and says "Your Fired!"

 

 

I wish that Sony could make a Play Station IV and have a fully interactive CERB game in 3D!

[roamingguy 300292]

Your wish is granted

Sony makes the game system, you get so addicted to the game you stop seeing ladies, getting more gratification from PS IV. You realize, too late that a game system is no substitute for seeing ladies, but alas, no ladies will return your emails/texts/pms, after realizing you were off playing with a PS IV

 

My wish, stay right where I am, I can see ladies in Ottawa and Toronto

 

RG

[Phaedrus 209521]

My wish, stay right where I am, I can see ladies in Ottawa and Toronto

Revolution in Saudi Arabia! Gas prices go through the roof. You can no longer afford to drive anywhere.

 

I wish that everyone who drives very slowly in the left-hand lane suddenly realized how damn irritating it is, and stopped!

[docottawa 541]

Your wish is shared by many. That's the reason why the genie waves his arms in the air and...voila! A first ministers conference is called and all premiers and the prime minister agree to a new law. Henceforth there will be no left lane. Nor will there be a right lane! All highways have been reduced to a single lane!! Your wish is granted. Road rage sweeps the nation!!

 

With the whole nation now stressed out over the crawling single line of traffic we need major stress relief. I wish that I had the energy that I had in my early twenties.

[roamingguy 300292]

Your wish is granted you have the energy you had in your twenties...but with the revolution in Saudi Arabia Canada militarily commits to operations in the Middle East, and seeing all this energy, you are drafted to serve your country, and never get to reap any personal pleasurable rewards from it

 

My wish, to own and live in a penthouse in a high rise condo and all my neighbours from the first floor to top floor are SP's

 

RG

[Guest s******ecan****]

Corrupted genie say wish granted

 

 

but because you live in the penthouse all of your neighbours assume you to be a snob and completely ignore you, leaving you lonely and depressed

 

 

 

I wish I could play hockey like Gretzky

[Guest 9**A*****]

Corrupted genie says wish granted:

 

As Walter Gretzky you can use your walker to hold you up as you play hockey on your X-box.

 

I wish I had three wishes.

[roamingguy 300292]

Your wish is granted

Unfortunately where you live no one else plays hockey and there are no rinks around to play hockey on

 

My wish, to live in that penthouse, invite all the ladies to my place for a party where they see that I'm not a snob, and everyone lives happily ever after

 

RG

[Guest s******ecan****]

Too slow RG, 987Ardbeg beat you to it...in response to his wish for 3 wishes

 

 

Done say the genie

 

However having failed to specify what you meant by wishes the genie saddles you with 3 members of WISHES (web based institute for highly educated students)

 

You are now responsible for providing them with a post secondary education, a burden that forces you to take on two additional jobs and knocking years off your life.

 

I wish I had a cheeseburger

[justine 1823]

wish granted... but the cheeseburger is tainted with a deadly strain of e coli....

 

I wish I didn't have seasonal allergies. ;)

[Guest s******ecan****]

Genie say granted

 

Venturing outside for the first time in years you are overcome with joy and happiness, you never see the bus bearing down on you as you prance across the street......

 

 

I wish I won a Nobel prize

[Old Dog 179138]

Genie grants you the NOBEL Prize!

 

Unfortunately it was in nuclear medicine... and well... bits of you begin to glow... and tragically fall off. Life as a Eunuch can be fun though! Ummmmm... you can sing the soprano parts in the choir!

 

I wish for a nice piece of apple pie...