Question For The Ladies?

[Guest J***u]

I do not know if this was posted before or not but I been wondering how many of you SP's had clients fall in love with you? if so how did you deal with it?

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

OMG! Don't even get me started on this... This has happened several times and let's just say that I refused to see them again because this was in their own head as if they were imagining things and basically pushing it on me. I could only avoid the situation for so long. I have a lot of patience but once i blow, I blow ( no pun intended).Clients who push these boundaries sooner or later will make an SP very angry. Think of an SP as a friendly business transaction like when you go to get your hair cut. I like my hair guy and he has done amazing things with my hair in the past but I would not want to date him. I've had what i thought was a real relationship with a client once and it will never happen again because a) I'm old now and much wiser and b) I know better. I repeat, never again.

[roamingguy 300292]

Personally, I think it's dangerous for both the client and sp to fall in love.

It's usually, at least I think it would be, one way, and under circumstances, jealousy could develop. This isn't Pretty Woman, you aren't Richard Gere and she isn't Julia Roberts

If you ever get the inkling you are developing feelings for the lady beyond what is expected in a SP/Client relationship, you should stop seeing her, and see some other ladies.

At the very most, I could see liking of one another developing into friends, as long as both individuals respected boundries, such as realizing she will see other guys, you will see other ladies.

Seeing ladies should be fun, not complicated with strings attached. It also shouldn't be an emotional burden for the ladies.

For me, I view each encounter as a two or three hour escape with a special lady. Some I may want to escape with again (for a few hours), others once is enough LOL

And any "relationship" is strictly SP/Client, with any friendships formed within those parameters. It doesn't mean I dislike the lady, or she dislikes me, it means accepting the boundries, but instead of pining for her, appreciate the time you do have together, plus any memories of that encounter

It shows respect for her, and is healthy for both of you

This guy's viewpoint

RG

[Angeltbay 612]

Ive had this happen several times too. ive always been honest with them and tell them im in no way looking for a relationship. I'll keep seeing them if they call though, ive had a few that i THOUGHT understood that i wasnt looking for that, but in time they just get fed-up with seeing me if i dont want more than a professional relationship.

 

I have never refused to see them because of their feelings, but perhaps in some cases i should of because i realized it hurt them more in the end to keep seeing me without the relationship going to another level.

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

Oh, yeah... sigh...

 

Paid companions are better than girlfriends because we never make demands or talk about the future. A client can't walk though the door, at home, and have his partner naked and in bed within 5 minutes, or at least, not since the very early days of their marriage. But we're always ready, we always look as lovely as we can, and we always say yes to sex. The sex is always as good as we know how to make it. His pleasure comes first, or, at least, we don't have long meetings where we say, "Okay, so let me show you how I like it...". The men think that we're real, that women really can be this way all the time. They know that's not true, but they hope it might be.

 

When a client says he loves me, I tell him I'm flattered. I change the subject. I know that what he means is that he feels something strong, right then. That's good, but it's still something that's all about him and not really about me, the woman who is not Samantha.

 

Last summer, I had a client who became obsessed. Difficult. Demanding. Leaving flowers at my door, messages on my voice mail, in my inbox, whining when I didn't answer them at length. He wanted to drop by, take me to lunch, go for a walk, I said no over and over and over again. Then one day he came by my house and planted pink flamingos on the lawn, each holding a little card with a message for me. That's when I told him that if I ever heard from him again, I would report him to the police for harassment. A couple of months later, he created a new identity and a new e-mail, pretending to be someone else in the hope that he could get a multi-hour meeting with me at a downtown hotel. But my e-mail program picked up the fact that his IP address was the same as my harasser. I wrote a brief, straightforward e-mail and told him that I would report him if he tried that again and that I would be sure that the police knew all of his personal information so that they could find him and pay him and his wife a little visit. So far, that's kept him away.

 

A couple of weeks ago, a new-ish client whom I'd seen four times said he thought he was falling in love with me. I told him it wasn't love, it was lust: he's in lust over the prospect of having his cock down my throat and fucking me in the ass. My policy is to believe very little of what a man says shortly before, or after, a blowjob.

 

In my experience, the men who think they've fallen in love really want all the benefits of great sex without any of the relationship obligations. It's a great fantasy! I'm happy to explore this as often as they like . . . at my full hourly rate. :motion:

[Guest J***u]

Wow Samantha what a story! and yet scary at the same time thanks for sharing

[Guest s******ecan****]

I used to be surprised when reading how often this happened but having been a part of this hobby a while now I think its something many (if not all) ladies have to deal with eventually.

 

I've always been in this for the sex, but I know a lot of guys who hobby have huge emotional voids in their lives that they either knowingly or unknowingly are trying to satisfy by seeing escorts. In my mind thats a recipe for trouble.

[pjrd 324]

Oh, yeah...

 

My policy is to believe very little of what a man says shortly before, or after, a blowjob :motion:

 

hahaha very wise Sam

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

Wow Samantha what a story! and yet scary at the same time thanks for sharing

 

I was much more irritated than scared, Josbu, but only because I didn't think that the client had an actual interest in harming me. It's always possible that I could be wrong about that, though. While most successful companions have well-developed intuition, all of us take calls sometimes that we wish we'd turned away. We're human.

 

I do think that many clients who say that they're in love are hoping for special treatment--particularly of the off-the-clock (that is, not paid for) variety.

 

I'm sure lots of us have experienced sudden, mostly-groundless yet powerful infatuation at some time. I don't think I'll forget a particular new client who swept me off my feet one day. Everything he did, every way he touched me or looked into my eyes, the way he urged me just a bit farther, longer, harder... got to me big-time. It was one of the finest first encounters I've ever had and it left me so deeply rattled that I wouldn't see him again.

 

To feel such openness, to feel so known, is powerful; it's also disconcerting when it happens out of context. That is, I revel in this kind of love-making with my real-life partner whom I love deeply and to whom I am fully committed. To have similar feelings stirred spontaneously by someone I don't know well is confusing. I chalk it up to biology--the mating instinct and all that goes with it. Such lust can be part of love, for sure, but love is more than that.

 

When we're in love, our defenses come down. We open ourselves up to the other person, exposing and making ourselves vulnerable in the hope of developing a deeper bond. Unfortunately, this is also where the possibility that the relationship may become exploitative, abusive or dangerous may begin. It happens in dating relationships and it can happen in client/companion engagements, too.

 

Relationships between companions and clients almost always have very strong fantasy components which, if coupled with either party's inability to distinguish between genuine love and in-the-encounter passion, can give rise to dangerous instability. And so, while a client and I may engage in our own playful and kinky version of "Beauty and the Beast," if the client believes that he has fallen in love with me, but I reject him, Beauty may become the Beast's unlucky victim.

 

Real love is not found in what we feel or what we say: love is shown in what we do, regardless of how we feel at the time. The proof is in what one does when hurt, disappointed or angry. Love always seeks the highest good for the other party. That's why, if a client says that he loves me, I will be as warm, loving and understanding as possible when I decline to see him again.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

This and Samantha's follow up post is probably two of the most interesting and entertaining posts I have ever read on cerb and it's dead on correct. By saying that I certainly dont mean to make light of Samantha's predicament with this guy, but the other guys on this board can learn much from this post to keep their encounters with SPs in the proper perspective.

 

Bravo, Samantha!

 

Oh, yeah... sigh...

 

Paid companions are better than girlfriends because we never make demands or talk about the future. A client can't walk though the door, at home, and have his partner naked and in bed within 5 minutes, or at least, not since the very early days of their marriage. But we're always ready, we always look as lovely as we can, and we always say yes to sex. The sex is always as good as we know how to make it. His pleasure comes first, or, at least, we don't have long meetings where we say, "Okay, so let me show you how I like it...". The men think that we're real, that women really can be this way all the time. They know that's not true, but they hope it might be.

 

When a client says he loves me, I tell him I'm flattered. I change the subject. I know that what he means is that he feels something strong, right then. That's good, but it's still something that's all about him and not really about me, the woman who is not Samantha.

 

Last summer, I had a client who became obsessed. Difficult. Demanding. Leaving flowers at my door, messages on my voice mail, in my inbox, whining when I didn't answer them at length. He wanted to drop by, take me to lunch, go for a walk, I said no over and over and over again. Then one day he came by my house and planted pink flamingos on the lawn, each holding a little card with a message for me. That's when I told him that if I ever heard from him again, I would report him to the police for harassment. A couple of months later, he created a new identity and a new e-mail, pretending to be someone else in the hope that he could get a multi-hour meeting with me at a downtown hotel. But my e-mail program picked up the fact that his IP address was the same as my harasser. I wrote a brief, straightforward e-mail and told him that I would report him if he tried that again and that I would be sure that the police knew all of his personal information so that they could find him and pay him and his wife a little visit. So far, that's kept him away.

 

A couple of weeks ago, a new-ish client whom I'd seen four times said he thought he was falling in love with me. I told him it wasn't love, it was lust: he's in lust over the prospect of having his cock down my throat and fucking me in the ass. My policy is to believe very little of what a man says shortly before, or after, a blowjob.

 

In my experience, the men who think they've fallen in love really want all the benefits of great sex without any of the relationship obligations. It's a great fantasy! I'm happy to explore this as often as they like . . . at my full hourly rate. :motion:

[roamingguy 300292]

You know, at times like this, I'm glad I have a few years under my belt, my experience has led me to give up on finding a relationship, and instead I meet great ladies for a two or three hour escape. Yes, maybe I'll be in love for those two or three hours, but on the drive home, the love is gone, I'm left with a fond memory (in most cases), and in exceptional cases, know a few ladies I'd like to see again

Really, my emotional connection to the ladies is I like them and respect them

and have memories of our time together

RG

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

All of sp's have had this situation. But 9 times out of 10 it is more infacuation then love.

 

Truth of the matter is with love. Love is not how the other person makes you feel, love is how you feel from making the other person happy.

 

It is impossible to really love someone then try to change that person.

We embrace our sexuality and most men or women cannot handle sexually empowered people for instant jelousy or lack of trust. So when a client thinks he loves a escort, he does not love her for herself, but her potential.

 

xox

Nicholette of Windsor.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Whatever happened to going to an SP because there are no strings attached and you go home happy? I've had a client tell me he loves me on a second appt. I had to correct him and tell him it was lust. I've had other tell me that I'M in love with them after a second time meeting. Come on! A legend in their own mind perhaps? Sorry guys, you cannot feel love for an sp whether it's 2 sessions, 10 sessions or 5 + years just based on sex and some intimacy shared between 2 consenting adults. And then others try to charm you in hopes that they will get free sex. After being an SP for many years, I can see right through the b.s.

 

Many SPs have a personna and that's who clients fall in lust with. Most don't know the real me because like Samantha said a lot of SPs are good at compartmentalizing. This doesn't mean that because we have personnas that we do not like our jobs. It is a bit like being in a theatre show. I'm good at what I do, I like my clients but please don't mistake it for me falling in love. I have my own personal life and whatever that entails and so do my clients who don't say they're in love with me.

[roamingguy 300292]

Whatever happened to going to an SP because there are no strings attached and you go home happy? I've had a client tell me he loves me on a second appt. I had to correct him and tell him it was lust. I've had other tell me that I'M in love with them after a second time meeting. Come on! A legend in their own mind perhaps? Sorry guys, you cannot feel love for an sp whether it's 2 sessions, 10 sessions or 5 + years just based on sex and some intimacy shared between 2 consenting adults. And then others try to charm you in hopes that they will get free sex. After being an SP for many years, I can see right through the b.s.

 

Many SPs have a personna and that's who clients fall in lust with. Most don't know the real me because like Samantha said a lot of SPs are good at compartmentalizing. This doesn't mean that because we have personnas that we do not like our jobs. It is a bit like being in a theatre show. I'm good at what I do, I like my clients but please don't mistake it for me falling in love. I have my own personal life and whatever that entails and so do my clients who don't say they're in love with me.

 

I like the ladies I see, I respect the ladies I see, but I love the no strings attached

RG

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Oh yeah, I forgot to say... will you still be in love with an SP when she doesn't wash her hair, wears no makeup, have you hold her hair as she is puking in the toilet after too many drinks and then says she's not in the mood for sex? LOL. That my friends is true love!

[The General 11309]

I love the experience, and some of the ladies are terrific, but variety is the spice of life and this to me what the SP world provides. So, guys, if you thinking you are getting too close, perhaps venture a little further and have more fun.

 

I can understand how it happens, and not surprised that I am hearing these stories from the ladies.

[roamingguy 300292]

Oh yeah, I forgot to say... will you still be in love with an SP when she doesn't wash her hair, wears no makeup, have you hold her hair as she is puking in the toilet after too many drinks and then says she's not in the mood for sex? LOL. That my friends is true love!

 

Oh Nicolette, I want you now LOL

RG