I think I Really Messed Up, Lyla

[Leoniduc 14]

Hey all. I'm new, I've only made a few posts, and this whole experience is pretty alien to me(not in a bad way of course, ahah). 

I discovered Leolist around the beginning of March, and being new in the Moncton area I was extremely intrigued. I started doing some research, found these forums, and started reading more into the hobby than I ever had previously. This lead to me eventually having my first SP experience towards March and my second on Monday. 

So yesterday I decided that I was going to schedule a booking. This is where things start to go awry. So I find an ad that I think looks pretty good. Sure, it's not verified, but reverse image search shows nothing so I'm thinking it's about 50/50. So I text her. Then over the course of the next 45 minutes I start to become nervous, I do more research, I convince myself that absolutely nothing good is coming out of this. 45 minutes later I've convinced myself that the ad is a scam. Then in my warped head since that didn't go anywhere I moved on to another ad, this time I couldn't find any background info. Same deal. I messaged 5 different numbers today. That in itself is a problem, I know. I'd psyched myself into thinking the numbers I contacted weren't genuine when I think I probably wasted the time of one or more SPs already. 

So a number responds, and I start to go ahead with making arrangements. After doing this, I go back to the ad and start scrutinizing it, keyword juggling in google and such, and I find a discussion topic about a backpage ad with the same name from 2016 where a few people claim that the SP was nothing like the pictures in her ad(which is absolutely her prerogative and perfectly fine), and I became more and more nervous until I canceled. Except I didn't just cancel, I lied. I made up some bullshit excuse because I felt terrible for wasting her time and couldn't tell her why I was really canceling. 

You would think after all this I'd just take a break, right? Enough of a shitshow for one day? Well, not in my head. 
 

So after calming myself down, I take a look through leolist again and reply to yet ANOTHER ad. At this point I'm being reckless and inconsiderate of the SPs that I'm contacting and that doesn't even click in my head until the SP I canceled with texted me to call me out on cancelling and then contacting her duo partner. They're both extremely angry and have every right to be and I feel terrible, like one of those guys they warn SPs about. I feel terrible and think maybe I should just not bother with this anymore. Got into this to have some fun and meet some interesting people and ended up wasting other people's time and possibly money. 

[OldandNerdy 1303]

First off - take a step back, a deep breath, and try to relax.

 

Now, get yourself centered, and think about how to move forward.

 

My advice, especially when very new to this, is to stick with providers who advertise in your area here on Lyla.  Look for a provider that seems to match your mental and physical needs.  Emphasis on the first part.  Do your research, read the reccos, and make contact with one individual.   

 

Now stay calm and wait.  Providers do not have operators standing by right now to take your call.  They are people with lives and often work in this somewhat secluded and on their own.  They don't necessarily sit around hoping for your message.  Like all good things, time and patience is key.

 

In the meantime, go ahead with your life, and wait for a response.   Most reputable providers will get back to you same day or at least within 24 hours (unless otherwise specified on their site/post/etc).  

 

When you do get a message back, be friendly, precise and to the point while showing a little personality.  Hopefully you can both agree on what you are looking for and when.  If not, then thank them for their time. And start fresh with someone new.  

 

There's no need to be in a giant rush.  This isn't the Wal-Mart self-checkout lane that grandma stumbled into with nothing but unlabeled fruit 

 

This is a conversation between two human beings, and that is really what it is all about.

[Guest]

        While wasting people's time is not the best in term of first impression, it's also not the worst. The fact you admit making a mistake(s) and want to learn from it is already a step in the right direction.

        As a LYLA member, you got access to mostly safe announcements and recos. If you want to continue taking chances on LL, you better start putting money where you mouth/fingers are. Times are currently slow, but not a reason to burn bridges with working ladies. Like O&L mentioned, better start with better communication instead or rushing things.

[NotchJohnson 214123]

I think that at one point you might have used the wrong head to do the thinking.  Like what my friends on here have said just sit back relax and think thing through and consider a local girl that you can find on Lyla which may be on LL as well.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Moncton has some great ladies.

Unfortunately, doing what you did has earned you an award as a timewaster. I don't know who you have contacted, but I am pretty certain you will be required to pay a deposit for future encounters if you decide to contact them again.

Do your research before making contact in the future. It will save you AND the ladies a big headache.

One thing I would suggest is to reach out to others on this board for recommendations. It gives you a good baseline on where to start.

Goodluck!

[beesh 1286]

@Leoniduc
1) although I dislike using this metaphor, but here goes --- this is not a product (i.e returnable, if you don't like),

it is a service, more similar to dental hygiene or chiropractor  -- so you pay for the time. And if you have cancelled voluntarily, some compensation is warranted (eg 1/2 the fees).

 

2) And just like chiropractors or hygienists, your experience may be vastly different from the reviews. A companion-seeker (aka hobbyist) must accept that. No companion-seeker on this forum can say that all their experiences were up to their expectations. Unless it is outright cheating, one must to move on.

 

3) On per capita, Moncton perhaps has more legit companions than anywhere in Canada ! then why are you seeking shady providers. It is like you own a Mercedes, but instead of taking it to company service centre, you take it to a ramshackle barn on rural route 49, with a  sign board saying "we service Marsedez S klas" (I mean sure, its your Mercedes, but don't complain later if the engine is missing) 

 

- a companion of a very sweet companion  

[beesh 1286]

2 hours ago, clearbluesky15 said:

I've not heard that statistic.

of course there is no formal statistics to substantiate or disprove that !

There is no statistics at all for any 'companion work'

Based on what I read on Lyla, other forums, and news in general, I am estimating that conclusion.

May be Lyla can initiate some kind of systematic record keeping, then we will know for sure (kind of).

 

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

I think you just told yourself about your own problem.

 

1 - you are wasting multiple escorts time

2 - you are extremely nervous

 

So what I do is just flipping things around. Don’t contact the ad until AFTER you do all the searching. This way you can get the research done and not waste anyone’s time. 

 

As suggested, starting looking for your ads at more reputable places to cut down on possible flakes, then research reviews and GIS, and then content.

 

When you contact an ad, you should basically already know you are going to book her because you have done all your research first. 

[Leoniduc 14]

You're all absolutely right. I've gone about things not only the wrong way but in a way that's disrespectful. I should have been willing to commit to a decision and if there was risk involved it was on me from the moment I picked up the phone. Before I do anything like this again I'll be doing my research first and reminding myself that the person on the other end is somebody with their own problems. There's never a good reason to put more on someone's plate. 

 

Thank you. Really. 

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

Glad we could help. That is what this forum is for after all. LOL