How to handle a client demanding his money back after services provided

[West End Tara 12]

Need advice on best way to handle a client who is making verbal threats to trash your apartment

if you won't return his money after services have been provided for no apparent reason other than

buyer's remorse?   Even if you call the cops, they would never get there in time to help you and it

would be your word against his anyway that he made the threats and who needs the embarrassment

such a situation would bring to you, so you are intimidated into refunding the money.  It's a tactic men

use to get free services from the fearful independent provider.   Best just to cut your losses and refund

the money and block his number?

[OldandNerdy 1303]

For your own safety, I'd say yes, give the idiot their money back, and get them out of your space.

 

Block their number and if you're not using that app that was mentioned here a few months back, share the bad experience and number with any of your provider peers so they don't get into the same situation. 

 

Also remember his style of texting / speaking in case he tries again from another number...

[Guest]

  Not knowing what was agreed upon versus services given, it's hard to form an opinion.

I only once asked a partial refund and got it. It was for a question of time and not services. Had paid for 60 min and she pushed me out after 20. She had a 30 min rate and I asked to be refunded for the difference. I was firm in my demand, but not violent.

  Negotiation is always the best course of action before escalation is needed.

[West End Tara 12]

1 hour ago, Greenteal said:

  Not knowing what was agreed upon versus services given, it's hard to form an opinion.

I only once asked a partial refund and got it. It was for a question of time and not services. Had paid for 60 min and she pushed me out after 20. She had a 30 min rate and I asked to be refunded for the difference. I was firm in my demand, but not violent.

  Negotiation is always the best course of action before escalation is needed.

He had been drinking and was impotent and could not get anywhere no matter what services I gave him to try and get him even a bit erect.   Normally I can tell over the phone when someone has been drinking and don't take them at all.

I even gave me more services than he paid for in an effort to please him.  I gave him money back and could not wait for him to leave, but don't want a repeat of that night if I can avoid it.

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, West End Tara said:

He had been drinking and was impotent and could not get anywhere no matter what services I gave him to try and get him even a bit erect.   Normally I can tell over the phone when someone has been drinking and don't take them at all.

I even gave me more services than he paid for in an effort to please him.  I gave him money back and could not wait for him to leave, but don't want a repeat of that night if I can avoid it.

   That makes a bit more sense. Hard to deal with someone under the influence. Like you said, the best prevention is avoiding those type of situations. 

[NotchJohnson 214129]

To be completely honest here I did ask for some money back after having dates go wrong but never did get anything from that except for once.  That one time it was an Asian girl who had just started her period and wanted to carry on.  I told her to give me back the difference between the full hour and the half hour.  I had barely seen her naked and didn't even touched her.  Many other times the lady was not the one that was on the ad and even though I always book for a full hour they would rush the service to have me in and out in less then 15 minutes.  I will politely ask for the difference between the half hour and the hour even if they offer the 15 minute service.

I'm debating on only asking for the half hour service to new providers and if things look good I 'm willing to pay for the full hour if she has the time.  Everyone knows that a turned on man can be done in 10 minutes if well taken care of.

 

I'm sorry I did not mean to hijack this thread but just wanted to put this on there.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Safety is always the most important issue. So never try to deal with a potentially dangerous individual.

One thing I might mention. If you ever have to involve law enforcement, they are on your side. Unless you live in the States (especially in Texas), the police will consider the client as breaking the law. I'm not saying it will go well if you call the police, however, if you call 911, and feel you are in danger, give your location and drop the phone (don't hang up). You then become a high priority and they will be there right away (if you are in a city not remote location). I would never recommend this unless you were in danger.

I've dealt with police in the past, its not an easy thing, however, you are not breaking the law. I'd rather give the money back and be safe then be hurt, apt trashed or dead. 

Sorry this happened to you. For what it matters, he committed a crime or even sexual assault. Not everyone agrees, but that's my opinion. 

[Phaedrus 209521]

Sorry to hear that happened to you, Tara. FWIW I think you probably did the right thing; despite the fact that he has absolutely no right to a refund, having him smash your place up would have cost you a lot more, probably... and that's not to mention the trauma of having it happen. And if he'd turned on you personally it would have been even worse.

But yeah... block, blacklist, spread the word to other providers if you can, and if there's any justice no provider will ever see this asshole again.

[Andee 220524]

Wow I’m so sorry this happened to you. In over 25 years of working as a provider, I only encountered this once but it was me who Offered him his money back so he would leave because he was high on coke and being paranoid and it made me very uncomfortable. I was not willing to go through with the appointment. 
 

I would say in your situation probably best to hand the money back rather than it escalate to an ugly outcome. 

 

 

[Andee 220524]

On 5/24/2020 at 12:38 PM, Meaghan McLeod said:

Safety is always the most important issue. So never try to deal with a potentially dangerous individual.

One thing I might mention. If you ever have to involve law enforcement, they are on your side. Unless you live in the States (especially in Texas), the police will consider the client as breaking the law. I'm not saying it will go well if you call the police, however, if you call 911, and feel you are in danger, give your location and drop the phone (don't hang up). You then become a high priority and they will be there right away (if you are in a city not remote location). I would never recommend this unless you were in danger.

I've dealt with police in the past, its not an easy thing, however, you are not breaking the law. I'd rather give the money back and be safe then be hurt, apt trashed or dead. 

Sorry this happened to you. For what it matters, he committed a crime or even sexual assault. Not everyone agrees, but that's my opinion. 

I agree! If you provide the service and they take the money back, they are negating the contract so that is sexual assault, because you never agreed to service them for free. Just like if they were to remove the condom or ejaculate where you did not consent to. This is very real and would be legally binding.

Also pressuring a lady to offer unsafe services is coercion. 
I was not intending on hijacking this thread, but what you said is very important.

 

[KeithRichardson 4]

I am sorry on behalf of all the polite respectful men like myself out there that such unsavoury punks out there like this exist. I absolutely agree with the keeping the money (you charge for time and effort spent not if they are able to perform- thats on them) and calling the police as they actually look out for girls safety but understand you just wanting him out of your site and your space. I truely hope you dont have to go through anything like that again and hope you were able to put the word out for others to avoid the individual

[Guest lydiahardwood]

So sorry this happened to you. 😞 We have a bad dates/red flags section on the Private SP area, I'd suggest posting on there if you haven't already.

[Allie Zeon 2925]

On 5/24/2020 at 7:06 AM, West End Tara said:

Need advice on best way to handle a client who is making verbal threats to trash your apartment

if you won't return his money after services have been provided for no apparent reason other than

buyer's remorse?   Even if you call the cops, they would never get there in time to help you and it

would be your word against his anyway that he made the threats and who needs the embarrassment

such a situation would bring to you, so you are intimidated into refunding the money.  It's a tactic men

use to get free services from the fearful independent provider.   Best just to cut your losses and refund

the money and block his number?

Omg...such a great question.

Well, the answer is proper screening, especially when you see a client at your own place. It’s highly risky.

Up to last year, every new client  has to send me a verified headshot with specific instructions.

if I’m not convinced, I need them to show me their ID too.

Now, with Etransfer deposit, I will know their names as well and their cell phone.

All of the above screening is for security purposes.  Safety first!

[Allie Zeon 2925]

If problems occur, let’s say that the client is becoming violent. Will I return the money? Well, No lol.

I have my big pooches who will help me settling the problem lol.

If you live alone, I would say yes, but make sure you report it all over the place and share it in every where.  I would, if the client rope, abuse and destroy my place.  No way, I would let him go easily.

I will definitely take my revenge 💪

[Allie Zeon 2925]

On 6/25/2020 at 3:42 AM, Andee said:

I agree! If you provide the service and they take the money back, they are negating the contract so that is sexual assault, because you never agreed to service them for free. Just like if they were to remove the condom or ejaculate where you did not consent to. This is very real and would be legally binding.

Also pressuring a lady to offer unsafe services is coercion. 
I was not intending on hijacking this thread, but what you said is very important.

 

Very true thanks 

[Neil young 79]

So sorry you went through this. You are not alone. My sp has been stalked. Robbed. Attacked. You name it. Despite safety measures....

This is where decriminalization would help protect sp from scum men. 

 

[West End Tara 12]

Canadian law in place now is that it is legal to sell, but illegal to "buy" in the sex trade, however, that still does not discourage some men from trying to take advantage of an SP (esp if they are not up to speed on the laws in Canada).   Few such men would permit you to call the cops while they were present, but even if you did, they would be long gone by the time the cops arrived and then it would be your word against theirs and I sure would not want the humiliation of having to explain to the cops what happened!

[Everleigh May 362]

I've been a companion on and off for years and anytime I entertain anyone I have pepper spray very close by at all times . I've only had to show it when one got out of hand ......

Also there's cute little rings with little spikes on them (I call em kitty rings) I know a few ladies that wear them . 

[the real bea 70]

On 5/24/2020 at 7:06 AM, West End Tara said:

Need advice on best way to handle a client who is making verbal threats to trash your apartment

if you won't return his money after services have been provided for no apparent reason other than

buyer's remorse?   Even if you call the cops, they would never get there in time to help you and it

would be your word against his anyway that he made the threats and who needs the embarrassment

such a situation would bring to you, so you are intimidated into refunding the money.  It's a tactic men

use to get free services from the fearful independent provider.   Best just to cut your losses and refund

the money and block his number?

proper screening on clients is key. I personally feel the most safe providing incall at hotels. it would be much more convenient to provide it at your residence,,, but I’d rather safety over convince. 

if you feel threatened and feel like you have no other option then to refund the money, then do so. your safety is more important then money. just make sure to post their number and info to warn other SP’s. 

I’m sorry that happened to you and wish you the best of luck in the future🥰

[therealsweetie 119]

On 1/10/2023 at 6:49 AM, the real bea said:

proper screening on clients is key. I personally feel the most safe providing incall at hotels. it would be much more convenient to provide it at your residence,,, but I’d rather safety over convince. 

if you feel threatened and feel like you have no other option then to refund the money, then do so. your safety is more important then money. just make sure to post their number and info to warn other SP’s. 

I’m sorry that happened to you and wish you the best of luck in the future🥰

i definitely agree with this… and also always working with another girlfriend who you trust and get along with is also very comforting! Just not being alone while working. And definitely you are worth more than any money in the world, so if needed, refund them, then post their number in the “bad dates” section of Lyla! Contact moderators to gain access to this part of the website! Meant for SP ONLY! 

[LittleLo 7]

I’m gonna try and message you girl