My Friend Was Beaten and Robbed and Almost Killed. What should I do?

[Rollover 4]

Okay I work in this industry and know that it can be risky. 
I have a very close friend and roommate who is also a worker. She went out on an outcall last night and when she returned she was balling and had marks all over her. 
She had been asked for an outcall and agreed on a price and he would send an Uber to pick her up. Apparently, everything was going fine until they changed positions to doggy style when she noticed that he removed his condom. She stopped everything and told him that was absolutely unacceptable and was leaving. 
She ordered herself an Uber and the client came to her and asked what was wrong. She started telling him how wrong it was to remove a condom for sex without permission and that he is a punk for doing that. He immediately started to beat her, choke her and throw her around saying he was going to kill her. He smashed her head on the ground and kicked her repeatedly. He stole her money, ID and cell phone. 
she eventually escaped and ran to a next door house asking for help. The 3 people there said, “can you please leave our home’  she tried to explain that she was being attacked and needed to call the police. The residents simply repeated there request for her to leave. She came across some more strangers who refused to help and eventually she made it to my home. 
I wanted to call the police immediately but she was afraid to. She said he was bragging to her that he is a drug dealer and has a gun. He had recently spent 7 years in jail on a man slaughter charge. 
she is afraid to call the police because she is a young black woman and had gone to his home as an escort and had done some drugs. 
I am a white person so I don’t have experience with how blacks are treated by police especially ones that are sex workers and had used drugs. Now I am afraid if I get her to report it to the police and the police don’t help her, it will make her experience even worse and she is afraid of retaliation. 
 

what should I do?

we know his first name and address. 

[waterat 20911]

A terrible situation. And here's the answer: you need to call the cops. I know all the current news may not inspire confidence. He's the one breaking the laws in many ways. She's extremely unlikely to be charged for using drugs. 

No idea where you're writing from but here in Ottawa the Police Service (despite other failings - and those are less common than the positive and supportive interactions) have a female officer assigned to assist and support sex workers. She has been referenced and acknowledged by our local sex worker collective, OIC, Ottawa Independent Companions. I'm hoping you can find the same support in your location.

If nothing is reported or done about this then it will likely be a short time until another sex worker is attacted and abused. 

Don't get me wrong, I fully recognize how difficult this situation is, so I'm not suggesting it's easy. I'll simply hope that you and your friend are able to recover from the shock and find the best thing to do FOR YOU.

Thorough screening is always important. Most of our local ladies, and touring ones too, will only do an outcall to an upscale hotel. In the 10 years I've been seeing SWs I've only had three ladies visit me at my home but they already knew me well, full name, phone number, email, business and trust had been established. This is not a 'blame' comment. Clearly the client was the only one who created any trouble.

Stay safe,

Best, waterat

[Guest]

     Being short on details about the circumstances and where it happened, I can only recommend contacting other providers in the area for advices and also to warn them. If he's been recently released from jail and on parole, this should be more than enough to put him back behind bars. If other women were victims, their support and testimonies would certainly help.

 

[Phaedrus 209521]

You really need to get suggestions from other providers on this - preferably ones who are local to wherever you are. My gut feeling is.. probably all wrong, because I have no clue what it's like to be a provider, or a woman, or BIPOC.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Feel free to pm me. I have experience with this type of situation. 

First of all, please make sure your friend gets medical attention. The longer the wait, the less opportunities there are to record in the event she chooses to proceed with LE involvement. A crime was committed against her. The use of drugs should have no bearing.

Different districts offer either good LE help or really bad LE help. So I certainly understand the hesitation. 

The client is also an issue as he can now try to rebook through his friends which is a real issue. So recognise that she is still not safe if she continues working. There is no easy answer here.

Please tell her I am sorry this happened. We need to warn others.

Meaghan

[peacectryguy 12547]

I'm very sorry for your friend and hope that somehow, this guy is brought to justice. All other SPs in your area need to be warned about him and I would hope your local police have the sense to not judge your friend and do their damn job. I'm glad your friend has support from you and you continue to support her any way you can. I don't know the answer but hope she recovers okay and gets the help she needs to A) deal with the physical and emotional trauma and B) get justice. Hopefully, we get this idiot behind bars before he does this again or worse, kills someone.

[Linds 3]

Where did this happen and can she provide a description ...... just as a heads up to the sp’s that read this

[Mzmya 3]

I am so sorry that this has happened. It's a very risky business that we're in and am sad that the safe place of parlours have been shut down. I hated having to go independent when many were closed in Vancouver. Best I can do is share preventative advice. I sort of set up a protocol for myself now which I make sure to follow and actually helps with professionalism. When I have a booking I always have timely check-ins with either my driver and if taking a cab with a trusted friend.

1) On arrival -  you feel okay about continuing. And transaction is good. I make sure it's within 5 mins from when I step in through the door.

2) Most mportantly I call or text in front of the client and tell them so they are aware I have security in place. It eliminates the majority of any planned craziness.

3) During - I pick a time to send a simple text or call again that I'm okay and whether the session will extend. If security doesn't hear within 3 mins of said time they call me. Sometimes you're in the middle of things, but again the made client is aware of the check in calls, they won't be bothered by your phone ringing. Also it reminds them that you have someone that will f*ck them up if they still want to hurt you.

It's creates such a good safety net because our lives and well being are not worth any amount of money. 

If anyone needs more tips feel free to ask. 💖

[Linds 3]

Wow that’s awesome advise.  Thku

[peacectryguy 12547]

3 hours ago, Mzmya said:

I am so sorry that this has happened. It's a very risky business that we're in and am sad that the safe place of parlours have been shut down. I hated having to go independent when many were closed in Vancouver. Best I can do is share preventative advice. I sort of set up a protocol for myself now which I make sure to follow and actually helps with professionalism. When I have a booking I always have timely check-ins with either my driver and if taking a cab with a trusted friend.

1) On arrival -  you feel okay about continuing. And transaction is good. I make sure it's within 5 mins from when I step in through the door.

2) Most mportantly I call or text in front of the client and tell them so they are aware I have security in place. It eliminates the majority of any planned craziness.

3) During - I pick a time to send a simple text or call again that I'm okay and whether the session will extend. If security doesn't hear within 3 mins of said time they call me. Sometimes you're in the middle of things, but again the made client is aware of the check in calls, they won't be bothered by your phone ringing. Also it reminds them that you have someone that will f*ck them up if they still want to hurt you.

It's creates such a good safety net because our lives and well being are not worth any amount of money. 

If anyone needs more tips feel free to ask. 💖

As a client, I don't mind that if I'm informed. I met a lady once who did this and told me that she had security nearby and would be checking in twice during our hour.  I had no issue with it. If she was spending more time on her phone setting up other bookings or just chit chatting, then I would not be happy. But security and being transparent about that is a good thing in my books.

[Guest]

56 minutes ago, peacectryguy said:

As a client, I don't mind that if I'm informed. I met a lady once who did this and told me that she had security nearby and would be checking in twice during our hour.  I had no issue with it. If she was spending more time on her phone setting up other bookings or just chit chatting, then I would not be happy. But security and being transparent about that is a good thing in my books.

   Informed is good, but only if combined with reliable recommendations. There been too many cases of security/drivers/managers with the sole purpose of pressuring clients out of the room due to overbooking or other excuses. 

   Anything done on impulse and alone is very risky. Prevention with basic screening remains the best security tool for both sides.

[peacectryguy 12547]

Absolutely @Greenteal. My point was merely regarding the provider taking time out to text or call or receive a call during the appointment. Normally, that's a sore point with most clients, including myself but if I am aware for this reason, I am okay with it.

[beesh 1286]

@Rollover

all the points given here are good.

all I will add is that at the very least contact your local sexual assault crisis centre

here is the link for ON --- https://sexualassaultsupport.ca/support/

All provinces have a network, please do contact them.

They are the best resource in such situations.

[Guest]

I am so sorry this happened to your friend. If you feel comfortable sending me a PM with the contact details for this client I can post it in the private SP Only area so other ladies can be warned.

[tc4you 101]

So sorry for your friend. Hope she is doing better. Lack of moral and respect from scum makes me want to get justice for her. I strongly suggest that you publish his info on all media. That’s what you should do to protect other women from this piece of sh@#t. Justice will take care of the situation. I would like to know the info of that guy.

 

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, tc4you said:

So sorry for your friend. Hope she is doing better. Lack of moral and respect from scum makes me want to get justice for her. I strongly suggest that you publish his info on all media. That’s what you should do to protect other women from this piece of sh@#t. Justice will take care of the situation. I would like to know the info of that guy.

  Trying to correct a wrong with a wrong rarely ends well. There appropriate forums and websites for this type of warning and information. And while I agree consequences are needed for his actions, not much good will come from posting this here. I'm pretty sure the information is already available for ladies who need to know. And if not, will be soon.

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31728]

I am so sorry that happened to your friend I hope she is ok

I would definitely post a warning in the appropriate section for other ladies

I would recommend she seeks medical attention and counselling if needed

And yes I would report him to police especially knowing he already has a bad past

Sending strength her way 

[Andee 220524]

On 6/28/2020 at 6:37 AM, Mzmya said:

I am so sorry that this has happened. It's a very risky business that we're in and am sad that the safe place of parlours have been shut down. I hated having to go independent when many were closed in Vancouver. Best I can do is share preventative advice. I sort of set up a protocol for myself now which I make sure to follow and actually helps with professionalism. When I have a booking I always have timely check-ins with either my driver and if taking a cab with a trusted friend.

1) On arrival -  you feel okay about continuing. And transaction is good. I make sure it's within 5 mins from when I step in through the door.

2) Most mportantly I call or text in front of the client and tell them so they are aware I have security in place. It eliminates the majority of any planned craziness.

3) During - I pick a time to send a simple text or call again that I'm okay and whether the session will extend. If security doesn't hear within 3 mins of said time they call me. Sometimes you're in the middle of things, but again the made client is aware of the check in calls, they won't be bothered by your phone ringing. Also it reminds them that you have someone that will f*ck them up if they still want to hurt you.

It's creates such a good safety net because our lives and well being are not worth any amount of money. 

If anyone needs more tips feel free to ask. 💖

[Andee 220524]

Just now, Andee said:

On 6/28/2020 at 6:37 AM, Mzmya said:

I am so sorry that this has happened. It's a very risky business that we're in and am sad that the safe place of parlours have been shut down. I hated having to go independent when many were closed in Vancouver. Best I can do is share preventative advice. I sort of set up a protocol for myself now which I make sure to follow and actually helps with professionalism. When I have a booking I always have timely check-ins with either my driver and if taking a cab with a trusted friend.

1) On arrival -  you feel okay about continuing. And transaction is good. I make sure it's within 5 mins from when I step in through the door.

2) Most mportantly I call or text in front of the client and tell them so they are aware I have security in place. It eliminates the majority of any planned craziness.

3) During - I pick a time to send a simple text or call again that I'm okay and whether the session will extend. If security doesn't hear within 3 mins of said time they call me. Sometimes you're in the middle of things, but again the made client is aware of the check in calls, they won't be bothered by your phone ringing. Also it reminds them that you have someone that will f*ck them up if they still want to hurt you.

It's creates such a good safety net because our lives and well being are not worth any amount of money. 

If anyone needs more tips feel free to ask. 💖

Please although well intentioned, this hardly helps in this situation.

To the OP - if you message me and tell me what city your friend is in, I’ll refer you  people who can advocate for her. 

[Rollover 4]

We are in Toronto Ontario. She has gone to the hospital and will be getting counselling. 

[Kitten 1281]

This is attrocious!

My heart is with you and your friend.

I wish i was closer to offer you both hugs.

May she heal fast and strong ❤️

I am sorry her beautiful energy had to experience such evil and hope it inspires more security for her in the future.

I wonder if knowing what platform they connected on may be another question we could be asking and informing as well. Could help with tracking and identification.

Outcalls I am not a fan of due to the massive lack of security. She has a place she can host safely? Although I do agree with a comment I seen earlier expressing concern there either way, and would consider shutting it down for a bit.

Also, PLEASE do get the police involved. We should be careful most of them lacking accountablity isnt denying us the ability to get the help we need. Yes its awkward and may go nowhere, but the more we reach out the more we normalize the need. Remember he is the POS who abused her in mulitple ways. If her story doesnt upset the officer then we learn who our allys are.

If I can offer any help or assisstence please dont be shy to pm me 

 

[Rollover 4]

On 6/28/2020 at 4:21 PM, beesh said:

@Rollover

all the points given here are good.

all I will add is that at the very least contact your local sexual assault crisis centre

here is the link for ON --- https://sexualassaultsupport.ca/support/

All provinces have a network, please do contact them.

They are the best resource in such situations.

We did contact the sexual assault centre and they were very helpful and supportive. Thank you. 

[beesh 1286]

1 hour ago, Rollover said:

We did contact the sexual assault centre and they were very helpful and supportive. Thank you. 

I am so glad that you received help & support. I hope your friend heals fast, and the perpetrator gets punished.

• To all who are reading/commenting here (especially intimate companions), there IS help in our nation - sometimes one has to seek it.

And all assaults must be condemned, no matter who is the survivor (or whatever their profession / circumstance is)

[ColdCompassion 9]

I am glad you reported this to the sexual assault centre, such matters need to be dealt with critically. 

[Jenesis 294]

On 7/5/2020 at 9:08 AM, Rollover said:

We did contact the sexual assault centre and they were very helpful and supportive. Thank you. 

 

I am so glad to hear this. 

 

I get it is important to report the crime, help other SPs with a warning, but most of all, her mental health is what is most important. This was a trauma. A very serious one, and one that will affect her for years to come even with help from professionals. 

 

I feel so useless. Others have already stated what I would have. You are a good friend to help her out.

 

And man am I pissed at all the people who would not help. I can honestly say I believe 1000% that my white priveledged butt would have gotten help someone. I can’t imagine the pain and struggle it is for a POC. Not just in this business, but in general life. 

 

So sad.