did I fall in love with my SP?

[Guest The Gentleman]

I think i felt in love with a quite popular SP i met in this forum not so long ago. I didn't review her and that was her decision. She told me she would retire in few months and i'm affraid she stop seeing me. I'm affraid to ask her if i would be able to see her after her retirement as she may think i'm crazy. I was shocked when she told me about that. Now is it OK to ask this to a provider or should i stay quiet? I started looking for a new provider just in case if she let me down.

[Ironsman1 1461]

I think I just fell in love with my SP tonite...what a great experience :D

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

This thread reminds me of the 80's tune from the Payola$, Never Said I loved You, especially this one line " I ... Won't say I love you, Cause I - Only want to like you a lot!" here's the tune on youtube

 

It's hard not to develop a special bond with our favorites, especially for those of us who don't play the field as much and tend to see one or maybe two SPs regularly. Falling in love and losing sight of the original relationship can be dangerous and when feelings and emotions takeover their can be collateral damage. I've fallen hard in the past, but learned from the experience, while I've come close to falling in love again. I've been able to pull my self out quickly only to appreciate the benefits and advantages of having friends with benefits. The rule I live by: You fall in love with your SO, you have fun with your SP.

[d*mm*y 887]

It's Ok to ask I know several people on this board that still see "retired" SP's

 

I think i felt in love with a quite popular SP i met in this forum not so long ago. I didn't review her and that was her decision. She told me she would retire in few months and i'm affraid she stop seeing me. I'm affraid to ask her if i would be able to see her after her retirement as she may think i'm crazy. I was shocked when she told me about that. Now is it OK to ask this to a provider or should i stay quiet? I started looking for a new provider just in case if she let me down.

[Guest AL]

I think i felt in love with a quite popular SP i met in this forum not so long ago. I didn't review her and that was her decision. She told me she would retire in few months and i'm affraid she stop seeing me. I'm affraid to ask her if i would be able to see her after her retirement as she may think i'm crazy. I was shocked when she told me about that. Now is it OK to ask this to a provider or should i stay quiet? I started looking for a new provider just in case if she let me down.

 

May I ask who is this provider? I don't think you should ask her anyway.

[d*mm*y 887]

May I ask who is this provider? I don't think you should ask her anyway.

 

 

This is were we disagree, i don't think we should ask the Gentlemen to divulge his source in public or confidentially. And I believe that most SP's encourage a dialog, they are not shy to tell you what they don't want and they do want, they like feedback about what are interested in. The golden rule still applies ask for what you want and accept what you receive. The private conversations and relationships that happen between closed doors is private.

[shypilot 113]

This is were we disagree, i don't think we should ask the Gentlemen to divulge his source in public or confidentially. And I believe that most SP's encourage a dialog, they are not shy to tell you what they don't want and they do want, they like feedback about what are interested in. The golden rule still applies ask for what you want and accept what you receive. The private conversations and relationships that happen between closed doors is private.

 

I agree with you fully Dummpy, it is a private matter between him and his SP and is inappropriate to ask more than he has offered here. The SP's I have met in my limited experience have always been open to discuss anything and have always provided an honest and straight forward answer. Not always what we want to hear maybe but a straight answer none the less.

[capitalman 3861]

I have no idea why I'm posting in here after all these months....

 

I've learned it takes two to love. If you feel love and the other doesn't, it's not love, it's lust or just strong feelings of like and you don't know what love is. It takes two, and you'll know it when you're there.

 

But, as others have said, love and commitment are two different things. They don't have to go hand in hand, but if you find yourself with both, consider yourself lucky.

 

Someone once told me that love is a decision, and at first I didn't understand what they meant, but eventually in sunk in and now I do. Do you?

[Guest ye****y1*3]

i am not saying that the feelings you have are not real, or reciprocated. but keep in mind this is a business these ladies are in and a service they are providing. while some are more personal, friendly, polite whathaveyou than some.

i had these thoughts about a dancer i used to see awhile back on a regular basis. i thought i was special, but soon realized that i was just another club 'friend'. anyway, dont mean to downplay your feeligns, but that is usually the reality.

yes, true love is in my opinion a feeling shared on both sides...and as the old saying goes, you cant buy love.

[ulixestrojan 3757]

i am not saying that the feelings you have are not real, or reciprocated. but keep in mind this is a business these ladies are in and a service they are providing. while some are more personal, friendly, polite whathaveyou than some.

i had these thoughts about a dancer i used to see awhile back on a regular basis. i thought i was special, but soon realized that i was just another club 'friend'. anyway, dont mean to downplay your feeligns, but that is usually the reality.

yes, true love is in my opinion a feeling shared on both sides...and as the old saying goes, you cant buy love.

 

But you can rent it - as the saying goes, if it floats, flies of f**ks, it's always cheaper to rent.

[E.D. man 691]

It can happen at any time any where. Love can show up very quickly, because it is a suprise and no one knows who or when they are going to fall in love with.

[spud271 47779]

I will admit that I was in love with a young lady that I did date for two years from Montreal, and the feeling was mutual. It was hard to end it of course, but that is the way life goes at times. You just never really know when or who it is going to happen with and I personally never saw it coming, as I certainly did not go looking for it at that time in my life.

 

Too many people mistake lust for love, and don't understand it is a two way street. You both have to have those feelings for it to work out. Otherwise you will become frustrated and things will always end badly. It is those who are strong enough not to get confused between love and lust that usually have the best relationships with their favorite sp's.

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

I have to agree with Cat in all that she said. Adding one thing...if you don't let yourself fall in love with anyone then how would you know what beauty love is. If you never know pain how will you know joy?

 

Tears and fears are things to learn and grow from...let yourself feel whatever it is that needs to be felt.

 

I have fallen for clients as well...one we were almost engaged....but in the end i chickened out....i just wasn't ready ...do i regret it? nope...are he and i still friends? yup....but if i didn't let myself feel love or loved then i would be a very unhappy person now.

 

I love my clients too and love how i can make them feel and how they make me feel. This business is so much more then sex.....its being a friend as well..

 

 

kisses,

Emma A

[etasman2000 15994]

Emma,

 

I agree, I'm not sure how I missed this thread too. I find anything Cat contributes to worth reading!

 

The Greek separate love into several types: **** (erotic/sexual love), philia (friendship), thelema (paternal/family) and agape (the common understanding of love).

 

Granted most of us Hobbiest might start more often with ****, some go on to philia and possibly agape however, at the end of the day, we should remember like in 'real life' love has complications.

 

Peace.

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

Your right of corse but at the end of my day i hope that i have done my part in **** and started a philia not thelema with a client and i do have the greatest agape ....have been there and wouldn't trade it for the world...would do it again too...lol

 

kisses,

Emma A

 

 

 

 

 

Emma,

 

I agree, I'm not sure how I missed this thread too. I find anything Cat contributes to worth reading!

 

The Greek separate love into several types: **** (erotic/sexual love), philia (friendship), thelema (paternal/family) and agape (the common understanding of love).

 

Granted most of us Hobbiest might start more often with ****, some go on to philia and possibly agape however, at the end of the day, we should remember like in 'real life' love has complications.

 

Peace.

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

I love the responses to this thread! The fact that there has been so much caring and thought put into the replies, shows the tenderness at hand. Many of you realize that I don?t really fit into the SP box that most think of when one pictures the role of the SP in someone?s life, so I have a bit of a different take on the emotional aspects in this realm. This post is long, and on the reread I can?t find anything to delete, so accept my apology in advance for the length of this conscious stream of thought that follows. That said, what I say here may or may not apply to any and all.

 

Playing devil?s advocate, I would like to ask, what is wrong with a broken heart?

 

In our society we shun the things that have been labeled painful or hurtful. What is missed is that true emotional growth only comes from the challenges that we call pain. Loving, in my opinion, is always a good thing, even when I know it is going to end. Emotionally, as a society we are closed off most of the time. We shield our personal lives from our work, and vice versa. We keep our friends at arm?s length and build walls to ensure that we don?t have to deal with anything ?painful?. The answer is that we are programmed from childhood that anything negative is to be avoided at all costs. Children are soothed in a hurry when something normal and natural happens, instead of being allowed to experience the emotions and learn to process them. They become adults and spend their lives avoiding anything painful instead of experiencing life as it was meant to be lived.

 

I love to watch the reactions when someone cries in public. Adults squirm in their seats and try and vacate as quickly as possible. Why? There is no reason to shift in our seats unless we intentionally caused the tears, and even then, unless it was a malicious intention why the discomfort? We all experience the broad range of emotions we are designed to feel. Without the hurt, how would we know what made us feel good? If it doesn?t rain, how do we truly learn to appreciate the sunshine? Why are we so afraid to love?

 

I thrive on loving; it?s why I do what I do. I love the guests I have the honor of getting to know. Not the ?you need to leave your wife? kind of love, but the kind that is there unconditionally. Liking the qualities of someone, but loving the faults and watching as someone realizes how truly lovable they are, is my favorite aspect of what I do. I am usually the rebound girl, my guests come to me when the realization hits that life goes on after a D has hit, (death, divorce, desertion) and they are feeling lost and out of touch. Hobbyists make up a small portion of my day, the rest is filled with men who are moving forward and figuring out what?s next. They are the monogamous souls that really want a long term relationship but are not ready. They come to me to reassure themselves they can lie with another woman other than the one that is gone. What they learn is that the world continues to turn and they are going to be fine.

 

I am not a traditional SP, I sometimes develop very intimate relationships with my guests. I give as much as they do. I never utter the words, because I know the effect words like that have, but it doesn?t change the emotions that are felt, and I have heard the precious words more often than I can count. Would I change it? Not a chance! It is needed to allow them to realize that they can still love.

 

People confuse the chemical reaction of falling in love with real love and we are all susceptible. In my career I have two guests that I fell in love with. Both are still close friends that I maintain contact with almost daily. Fortunately common sense prevailed as we realized that the chemicals had taken over and were governing us. Were there tears? Of course! But we rode them out and the relationships morphed into something much deeper and dearer than the heart pounding, mind boggling sense that comes with the ?in love? mantra. I have had numerous marriage proposals, ring and financial statement in hand. They were the White Knights who were looking to save me from ?this life?, when I did not need saving. The other guests, I watch with wonder as they gain confidence and start to move towards finding what makes them happy. I have had the privilege of attending weddings that happened after guests reached the realization that they can love again, and move on.

 

I govern myself with one rule, tell the truth about myself. The emotions that follow will happen; I experience them, learn from them and continue to grow. Don?t be afraid to cry or to laugh, to love and most important don?t be afraid to lose. It is an integral part of who we are as human beings and it is what makes us what we are.

 

Catherine

 

How could one not fall in love with someone they are being so imtimate with...even if only for the time they are together...i have fallen in love and i don't regret it for one second...

[redmachine 1916]

Over the years I have had a couple (2) of very special long term (more than a year) relationships with a SP and I "loved" both of them dearly.

Both relationships ended when they decided to go in a different direction with there life which was sad for me but I was happy for them and supported there life choice. One of the ladies still lives close to me and we cross paths often and we always great each other with a hug even if she is with someone she will just intruduce me as a old friend.

 

The hardest thing I found when these relations ended was it kind of spoils you and finding a replacement can be very frustrating. When the last such experience ended and after several less than fulfilling experiences I basically left the hobby for several years.

 

But on a happy note and mainly thanks to cerb I have found a couple of VERY nice ladies that have renewed my enthusiasm for this wonderful hobby:lol:

[drg23 124]

I love this thread!

 

Personally, I rarely have feelings of "love" for any SP. Deep affection, yes but not love. For me this is simply a hobby that I turn to when I am single and not looking for a relationship. I believe it is def possible to fall for your SP and know it must be a hard situation to be in. Even quite recently, I encountered an SP who had we met under different circumstances would probably be very interested in dating one another. That, however, is one thing I would not want to be involved in to be honest. Turning a client/SP relationship into a dating one just doesn't seem possible to me.

 

It actually makes me have a lot of compassion for all of the wonderful SP's I meet as it I realize it must be terribly hard to work in the profession and have a partner who is ok and supportive of it.

[MandalayBay 575]

It actually makes me have a lot of compassion for all of the wonderful SP's I meet as it I realize it must be terribly hard to work in the profession and have a partner who is ok and supportive of it.

 

My partner is truly an angel and because of his support of my career and I love him to a higher depth than I've loved any other man.

 

Don't get me wrong, he doesn't like my job and tries talking me out of it once in a while. He tells me the day I announce my retirement will be one of the happiest days of his life.

 

It is truly the first time I've experienced unconditional love and I have been blessed.

 

No matter how strong my feelings may become for a client (and there are some that I feel strongly for) I remind myself about what an incredible man my partner is for loving me when most other men wouldn't.

[drg23 124]

That's awesome MB, Congrats!

[bucky501 923]

This is quite a topic. One that many would not wish to recognize as being possible. But, believe me, it is.

It is tough to acknowledge and then deny our true feelings. How much do we lose or how much do we gain in doing that?

[Seymour 3970]

It is tough to acknowledge and then deny our true feelings. How much do we lose or how much do we gain in doing that?

 

The answer to this question is very unique to every individual. Some that partake in this can fall in 'love' for others falling in love is not in the cards. At the end of the day, open honest communication is very important. Remember two people can fall in love, one does not fall in love with one's partner's profession (however long or short term it may be).

[bucky501 923]

That is right on point Seymour. Thank you for that.

I`m in no hurry to find someone (I have a very full life)... but I must back down and hopefully maintain some contact with her and perhaps things can change. We find people in some of the damnest places don`t we, but I will not ignore my feelings for her. And I can wait that perhaps someday this will change.

[hunknhot 1067]

What a topic.

 

I have to say I must disagree with some or at least provide a different opinion.

 

There obvious dilemma of confusing lust for love. Although it may seem easy to determine the difference between the two I propose it is very difficult when you are right in the middle of it.

 

r100rs asked if he fell in love? I think you did. It's okay....obviously painful....but the fact that you fell in love with your SP doesn't de-value the reality of your feelings.

 

Are you in love with her? Probably..

 

Are you in love with her, her soul, everything about her and who she really is? Hard to tell only you will know that.

 

Some described the chemical bonds that are associated with the time spent and being intimate with someone. The chemical reactions formed with the prolonged exposure to someone you connect with, share moments, being erotic and enjoying each other's company. The chemical reactions that are created and that your body longs for and eventually needs. Perhaps it is just chemistry but I think these are the side effects for falling for someone. Love can have many spectrums, many intensities, many chemical levels. It could be that simple actually.

 

I mentioned confusing lust and love earlier.. but loving someone and being in love can also be confusing...

 

I guess my point is that.. yes you can fall in love here... both sides can.. how you deal with it.. well each person has their own way I guess.. Can it be painful? certainly.. but then again life is full of pain and happiness..

 

We are human after all but I guess some days it could be easier to be trees!

 

r100rs... I hope heart is feeling better !

 

hnh

 

ps If I have confused you by reading this well ..... it is a text about love you know.. :)

[bucky501 923]

there is no much to say