Guest seanyb Report post Posted July 14, 2008 Your stories are quite amusing...Here is one that quite funny. Was in Ottawa and decided to indulge with some local SP's. Arrived promptly at my hotel..Started off very well..Was asked if I had ever tried anal play..thought..Hey when in rome...While she was performing on me she began to stimualte my prostate..but during the whole event she looked up at me..with wierd look..She let go of the toy and its stuck in my ass..Thank god for the condom on it ...After a little pushing and soft pulling it came...She was quite calm..we continued...amazing time..:cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted July 14, 2008 ooops that was awkward..or should i say poops that was still awkward...but too funny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted July 14, 2008 ha ha reminds me of that old saying when someone was pissed off...."What's up your ass today?" A. Uh a dildo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scott706 245 Report post Posted July 14, 2008 I'm sure that story could lead to a whole other series of stories from emergency room doctors and nurses... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cat 262460 Report post Posted July 14, 2008 Your stories are quite amusing...Here is one that quite funny. Was in Ottawa and decided to indulge with some local SP's. Arrived promptly at my hotel..Started off very well..Was asked if I had ever tried anal play..thought..Hey when in rome...While she was performing on me she began to stimualte my prostate..but during the whole event she looked up at me..with wierd look..She let go of the toy and its stuck in my ass..Thank god for the condom on it ...After a little pushing and soft pulling it came...She was quite calm..we continued...amazing time..:cool: Funny that happened to you! I had an episode remarkably similar to yours. He was a great guy, when I arrived he was just showering. Built like a teddy bear, it only took a moment before we had assessed the need for small talk was pointless and we were rolling around in this great 4 poster bed. I was having too much fun, and things were getting a little wild. Toys were everywhere and when I suggested we try a little anal stimulator, he gladly agreed. Got everything set up, and then rolled him on his back and started having my way with him. It didn't take long before it ended in a mutual screamfest. As I snuck down to remove the toy, it was gone! All that showed was the ring of rolled latex! I looked at him, and gently tried to dislodge the vanishing plug, but I could tell without a little help the latex would rip and the toy would be left to the bodys natural devices. He got this panicked look on his face as I told him to push. He tried, but it didn't work. So I got him to roll over on his knees, prone, and try again. By this time, I was giggling and couldn't stop. All he kept saying was "GET IT THE FUCK OUT!", which for some reason made me laugh even harder. I could tell this was freaking him out, so I was rubbing his back trying to get him to relax and push. Even tried the Lamaze breathing with him. It wasn't working so I told him the story of when I lost a set of benwah balls in my ex's girlfriend, we couldn't get them out, the ex was due home anytime, she was panicking that he would find out and I finally had to fish them out by the string with a jumbo plastic flat crochet hook. Finally he started to laugh and gave a push and out it came! We laughed so hard, and the rest of the evening was spent playing with intermissions to tell silly stories. I was amazed when he set up his second appointment! He certainly is one for adventures! Catherine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lolita 101 Report post Posted July 15, 2008 Well I Can Picture It It Happend That Once I Was Jeking This Guy And He Was Loving It Hehe Saying Ahhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhh Ahhhhh Yeah So I Was Looking At Him Enjoy It He Had His Eyes Closed All The Suddend I See This Big White Thing Flying Up To Come Back Down In His Mouth Hhehehe That Was A First I Ask Him If He Tasted Good Lol With A Smirk Or My Face Lol Il Never 4get That Hehehe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
esoterica 624 Report post Posted July 15, 2008 Well I Can Picture It It Happend That Once I Was Jeking This Guy And He Was Loving It Hehe Saying Ahhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhh Ahhhhh Yeah So I Was Looking At Him Enjoy It He Had His Eyes Closed All The Suddend I See This Big White Thing Flying Up To Come Back Down In His Mouth Hhehehe That Was A First I Ask Him If He Tasted Good Lol With A Smirk Or My Face Lol Il Never 4get That Hehehe I was at a well known MP in town and was enjoying the moments before the happy ending. She was teasing me like crazy and then she did something crazy with her thumb and I erupted. I caught her full in the face and in her hair. I expected her to get mad or something, but she broke up laughing. Alas, she has since retired. e Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cat 262460 Report post Posted July 16, 2008 Down south, I use to do a lot of event organizing for gentlemen and one weekend we had a bachelor party for a racing team. It started Friday evening with a night out at the Crazy Horse, which is a top notch gentlemans club. We arrived, 4 limo's full of already drunk men and SPs and we descended on this establishment will a very "no holds barred" attitude. It didn't take long before one of the men ended up on a chair on stage with a bevy of beautiful topless women putting on a show. He had been drinking prior to the evening getting started and could barely stay seated so they tied him down. They proceeded to pour titty shooters down his throat for the entire show which lasted 6 songs He was red in the face from struggling to catch a nipple with everyone was hooting,hollering and causing a ruckus. They finally let him up, and as he stood up staggered left and stepped right off the stage! 4 foot drop onto a beer station with tubs of beer that broke his fall, and his femur! It took us a minute to assess the damage and realize he needed a hospital asap. As I was the organizer, I was the only sober one there. So off we go in the limo to find an emergency room. As we pull into the hospital, I realize that I am not dressed for the occasion, with a fishnet bodystocking, lingerie, a red maribou duster, big southern "Dolly Parton" hair and makeup and street legal stripper shoes! Always the trooper, I sucked it up and got out, found a wheelchair and the driver and I poured this poor soul into it. There was blood everywhere from a forehead gash that wasn't serious but made a helleva mess. He looked like he had been on the losing side of bar brawl. What a sight! The driver wheeled him into the triage as I rifled thru his jacket trying to find his wallet with his ID, but it had fallen out at the club. The triage nurse gives the three of us a long hard look, like she should know us, and I start to squirm. This guy is a bit of a local celebrity and is so drunk can barely spell his name. As she starts to fill out the paperwork, the lightbulb click on and her jaw drops. He had this insanely clean cut public image and everyone toted him as a "good boy". Good Boy my ass, he was a naughty as they come! Shows what a good PR rep can do. Anyway, back to the story. We are moved to a private room to wait as the other people in the waiting room start to recognize him but as we wait, every nurse, doctor, orderly and janitor on the grounds had to come, take a look at the Madam, her driver, this poor guy and get an autograph. The reactions were priceless and everyone had a good laugh at our expense. While all this is going on, I am standing there, looking every bit the lead from "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas"! It took us 7 hours and about 30 autographs to have his leg set, and get the hell outta there. Being the true cowboy he was, we headed back to the party which was scheduled to roll until Sunday afternoon. 3 hours later, he is on the golf course, in a cart, with his buddies, using a full strength Coors and Jack Daniels prescription for the pain. The entire weekend is worthy of this thread and I will add more to this later. The golfing that day was every bit as funny! Catherine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cat 262460 Report post Posted July 16, 2008 Dear insidevoice, I am, a Tar heel thru and thru... Catherine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
