Safe ONLY!.......sometimes?

[harpo123 121]

 Now that 'safe services only' has become pretty standard on ads, i find myself in a tough position.  I'm a big fan of b__j -  sometimes that's all I want.  In my somewhat limited experience this year, when I ask outright I've found that an ad mentioning safe can mean:

1.  Yes, just no BFS

2.  Yes, but it costs extra

3.  Yes, but not until I know you (regular)

4.  NO, you insensitive jerk, read my ad and stop wasting my time.

 

Normally, logic would tell me that #4 is a totally justifiable response....if it wasn't for the fact that the other 3 responses were just as common.   It's not a complete deal breaker for me, if recos here have been otherwise glowing, but I do like to have my expectations set.  I know that today's environment has led to many SPs feeling increased hostility - the cockroaches have definitely come out of their tunnels this year -  but now I worry about getting red flagged because of my questions!  I'd love to hear thoughts and experiences from both sides!  Thanks in advance!

[Guest]

I think that if it’s listed on her site or ad feel free to ask. If it’s not advertised I wouldn’t. And if you do I would phrase it with the upmost respect and be prepared to be told no without getting disappointed or upset. And most importantly do not push for it. Some girls are open to it some are not. I just hope you know the risks of asking for any BB service of any type 💋💋💋

[Guest MelanieRose]

There's not really much to say other than its up the person and what they feel comfortable with, that goes for both parties as not all clients are comfortable with doing that either. I don't even know if this is allowed to be discussed here or if you're looking for replies stating so and so offers xyz but its going to vary from person to person, not really much else to say about that.

[RayRenpelle 429]

Even though I only see a very small number of ladies I like to keep up with who is who as much as I can. For that I read ads and profiles of several. I find on that subject that those who do it say it and those who don't also say absolutely no. So need to read the ads and respect their words. There are some who say nothing about it. In that case it is probably ok to mention it but using tact and respectfully. Not making it a deal breaker if you really like her. I have the utmost respect for women in general and the lady I may be with in particular and it is nice if we can show mutual respect for eachother's principlt

[harpo123 121]

Thanks for the great responses.  I wasn't at all meaning for this to be a 'so and so does xyz' - sorry if it looked like that.  I was more wondering if others came across the same inconsistenty in defining the same phrase across different ads.  Perhaps the best approach is, if it's explicitly stated in the ad, feel free to ask, otherwise don't.  Good point about what you can catch too - maybe it's something I should try to do without!  Thanks again for the great answers.

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31733]

5 minutes ago, harpo123 said:

Thanks for the great responses.  I wasn't at all meaning for this to be a 'so and so does xyz' - sorry if it looked like that.  I was more wondering if others came across the same inconsistenty in defining the same phrase across different ads.  Perhaps the best approach is, if it's explicitly stated in the ad, feel free to ask, otherwise don't.  Good point about what you can catch too - maybe it's something I should try to do without!  Thanks again for the great I always 

I always say SAFE DATES ALWAYS(meaning I do not offer any bb services at all) ... but you are right tho some could mean no Bbfs while others could mean what I said

All you can really do is ask but in a respectful way and just see how she responds 

 

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, Exotic Touch Danielle said:

I always say SAFE DATES ALWAYS(meaning I do not offer any bb services at all) ... but you are right tho some could mean no Bbfs while others could mean what I said

All you can really do is ask but in a respectful way and just see how she responds 

 

I’m with Danielle here! If a girl says SPO (safe play only) than there’s no point in asking. And just a add on some girls like myself will not book if you do engage in bb services with another SP! Just a little note to keep in mind 🥰

[Stephenber 46]

For me one of, if not the most important thing i enjoy with a date is the Before & After connection with the SP, that is a major factor in determining if i will have a date with that SP again. I have alot of things that i am looking for in a date, not just 1 specific thing, so one specific thing like this post is talking about willnot determine if i date that SP again.

[StephanieMystique 1902]

I personally wont promise anything before a session of xyz. As per legality of this, you pay for the time and what happens between that time is between two consenting adults. As long as consent is given at that time and everyone is health, have fun! 

Hygiene plays a huge factor in my enjoyment of our time together. Keeping everything freshly cleaned and groomed make it worth while for everyone.

I hope you find the right companions to enjoy. 

[beesh 1286]

On 10/11/2020 at 6:52 AM, harpo123 said:

 .  I'm a big fan of b__j - 

If you love BJ, I will recommend investing in Durex invisible - https://www.durexcanada.com/products/durex-invisible-extra-smooth

This is the BEST thing Science has created since internet !

Trust me, this is 99.9 % like uncovered, but with all protections.

Not recommended for any other penetration because it is ultra thin. But for BJ lovers, it is gold !

[Guest]

No matter what we say about this, the only important thing is what actually happen behind close doors.

Let's just say there plenty of hypocrisy on both sides.

[splaton008 1568]

It would be a lot simpler for consistency if the SP simply stated 100% safe services only in their ads. Some make it clear in other ways as well but many simply don’t refer to it at all then get upset if they are messaged in a very polite, discrete way asking about a particular service. If they advertised properly in the first place it would be a non issue. Then there is the bait and switch approach saying xyz is offered then when you show up it’s “oh no” I don’t do that AFTER they have been paid but that’s a whole different issue.

[SarahAlexxx 2025]

On 10/12/2020 at 2:04 PM, Daysha Love said:

I’m with Danielle here! If a girl says SPO (safe play only) than there’s no point in asking. And just an add on some girls like myself will not book if you do engage in bb services with another SP! Just a little note to keep in mind 🥰

I just needed this to be said twice. This hits my feels. ♡

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31733]

5 hours ago, splaton008 said:

It would be a lot simpler for consistency if the SP simply stated 100% safe services only in their ads. Some make it clear in other ways as well but many simply don’t refer to it at all then get upset if they are messaged in a very polite, discrete way asking about a particular service. If they advertised properly in the first place it would be a non issue. Then there is the bait and switch approach saying xyz is offered then when you show up it’s “oh no” I don’t do that AFTER they have been paid but that’s a whole different issue.

Even when we do say SAFE dates only... some guys still ask do we offer unsafe services 🤔 

Most dont read what we write ...so anyways ya can only blame yourself lololol

[rykky 1164]

In this new normal it only makes sense to have both parties comfortable with the services available.  I doesn't seem so complicated that you need to ask for BB service if it states safe only.  My preference is safe only.  That's who I'd look for and be comfortable being with.  If you don't want safe service move on.  Don't try to persuade a provider and put her and her clients at risk. 

[Mikeyboy 27134]

56 minutes ago, rykky said:

In this new normal it only makes sense to have both parties comfortable with the services available.  I doesn't seem so complicated that you need to ask for BB service if it states safe only.  My preference is safe only.  That's who I'd look for and be comfortable being with.  If you don't want safe service move on.  Don't try to persuade a provider and put her and her clients at risk. 

Agreed. The OP wasn't asking if it was OK to pressure someone into something they aren't comfortable with though. It was more about how to interpret what was stated, and if there was a polite way to ask for clarification without coming off as doing just that.

It can be a touchy subject.  I would suggest being as polite as possible with the query and make it crystal clear that you are just asking for clarification and that you respect her boundaries. (And make sure you have researched and made sure that the answer was not already given in an ad or website.) 

Good luck.

[rykky 1164]

Now I remember why I don't comment often.  Always someone posting a reply that really doesn't add to the discussion only criticizes one's opinion.  I will state my opinion clearly for you.  If you like blondes or brunettes search for blondes or brunettes.  If you want BB service don't search for providers that specify safe service.  I doubt the provider makes that claim so you can ask for something else.

[Mikeyboy 27134]

22 minutes ago, rykky said:

Now I remember why I don't comment often.  Always someone posting a reply that really doesn't add to the discussion only criticizes one's opinion...

Honestly, I found your criticism of the OP was unwarranted and possibly even a little mean spirited. I thought I'd try to answer the question that he actually asked instead of just jumping on him. My bad.

[waterat 20911]

@rykky and @Mikeyboy I see both of your points from your first posts, then....... so I'll first acknowledge that this is a comment from Ottawa so I don't attempt to interpret, nor view, ads placed in NS but I think this issue is a general problem. The term GFE migrated from SPs to MAs and many people have identified their confusion with it. I think the same seems to apply to 'safe'. Hygiene is important too. The phrase YMMV, always pertinent.

It used to be primarily backpage but now it's leolist that is the sources of most request for information, comments and service menus and accordingly the uncertainty over what 'safe' applies to - see the op. 

I hope that we're able to capitalize on making lyla a reliable source of advice, discussion, information and respect by visiting, supporting and promoting the providers who advertise here. They'll need to earn that confidence and we'll need to offer it, always understanding that chemistry dictates the lasting impressions. I rely on lyla to keep me feeling sexy, safe and satiated (sss - I would have preferred to use an xxx mnemonic but I couldn't find the words :).

My two cents, which is more than Donald tRump has!.....

[rykky 1164]

Understood and appreciated.  My apologies to those that may feel I was "mean spirited".  I will try to make my opinion beneficial to the subject in the future.  Lyla is so worth it if we all contribute.

[Mikeyboy 27134]

5 minutes ago, waterat said:

 

I hope that we're able to capitalize on making lyla a reliable source of advice, discussion, information and respect by visiting, supporting and promoting the providers who advertise here. They'll need to earn that confidence and we'll need to offer it, always understanding that chemistry dictates the lasting impressions. I rely on lyla to keep me feeling sexy, safe and satiated ...

Thanks waterat. My apologies for my perhaps snarky retort @rykky. I honestly meant no offence with my original post and am sorry if it came off that way. (And my second post was unnecessary.) 

Have a good weekend everyone.

[minuteman06 520]

DATY is another perfect example of that grey area of safe services only.  Some advertisements state safe only but when you politely ask they say, "oh, I'm fine with that, just no kissing."  Since there doesn't seem to be any consistent "standard" to any abbreviation in this industry I hope the ladies will continue to humor polite, respectful questions from potential clients as we are curious by nature and some of us seek certain pleasures.  Some of us read the ladies full ad, research their website and no matter how hard we try, some simple answers cannot be found.  It's a bit too late to keep your mouth shut, pay hundreds of dollars to show up only to fund out it wasn't the encounter you were hoping for.  Now after saying all of that, I do understand that ladies deal with endless questions everyday that never lead to a booking, it's unfortunate that the respectful men can sometimes get lumped into this category while they are trying to actually set up a date by asking a few questions. 

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31733]

At the end of the day its as simple as this....

We have the right to offer and refuse whatever services we want

And YOU have that right to accept it or move on and contact a lady that provided a service you are looking for

This is my body and my choice ... and i work how i feel comfortable 

I'm not going to lay out an explicit menu or engage in explicit conversations through text or on the phone

If you contact me asking in a respectful mature manner about my dates I will respond in a way that makes sense 

 

😉

[harboursmoke 3087]

1 hour ago, Exotic Touch Danielle said:

At the end of the day its as simple as this....

We have the right to offer and refuse whatever services we want

And YOU have that right to accept it or move on and contact a lady that provided a service you are looking for

This is my body and my choice ... and i work how i feel comfortable 

I'm not going to lay out an explicit menu or engage in explicit conversations through text or on the phone

If you contact me asking in a respectful mature manner about my dates I will respond in a way that makes sense 

 

😉

I completely agree and support every ounce of this post.  Well said. 

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31733]

58 minutes ago, harboursmoke said:

I completely agree and support every ounce of this post.  Well said. 

Thank you!