An Interview with Emily Rushton - Why Screening Isn't a Choice But a Necessity

[Guest lydiahardwood]

It's that time of week again! This time I had the pleasure of interviewing intelligent and compelling @EmilyRushton on a topic that I think anyone in this industry needs to be aware of: the importance of screening. Please have a read and remember to like and comment with your thoughts. ❤️ 

Q: Hey Emily. Thank you for being our next interviewee! This is an important topic and I’m glad we’ve got the opportunity to cover it with you. Before we dive in, can you tell me a bit about yourself and your career so far?
A: Happy to contribute on such a great topic. I’m a 40 something redhead residing in Atlantic Canada and tour Canada full time (except now, COVID has restricted travel so I’m not venturing too far). I’ve worked for agencies, owned an agency, written ad copy, adult marketing and been independent so I’ve covered all the bases in my time in this business (15 years).
 
Q: Wow, you've done a lot in that space of time - impressive! So, screening. What are your screening methods and why did you choose them?
A: For any new guest I require the basic: (name, age, occupation, where you saw my ad, cell phone (I wont accept text apps) and the name and website of a reputable independent companion whom they have previously met that can be their reference.

Depending on the city I may take work info in lieu of a reference from another lady, but rarely. I do understand some people are unable to provide a reference so I do have other options for them that I won’t share publicly.
 
Q: How many Clients refuse to screen?
A: When I started screening a lot refused, however now its maybe 20% refuse and they almost always come back and fill out my booking form after they’ve experienced what non screening can get you (robbed, scammed, fake photos, etc.).
 
Q: What are their most common reasons?
A: “I am a well known person in society” or my all time favourite “I share an email with my wife”. I decline them and move on, its not worth trying to reason with someone who thinks they are above screening.
 
Q: So I know a lot of Clients are worried because law in Canada currently criminalises them. What would your response be to someone concerned about that?
A:  You face just as much risk booking an unknown who asks no questions from being robbed to a possible police sting. Do your research on the lady you wish to visit with, reputable ladies may ask some screening questions but they wish no harm on anyone.
 
Q: Are there any tell tale signs of a Client that won’t screen?
A: They make the booking process difficult when its easy. As in not putting their name, trying to contact us on an app or lying about a reference.
 
Q: What are the biggest reasons that you screen?
A: For my safety (even though screening is not 100%) I feel safe knowing who I am allowing in my personal space. I have never had a bad date, been attacked or robbed. I base this on the fact I attract the clientele I wish to spend time with and they value the fact I screen.
 
Q: Do you find it frustrating having to explain to Clients that you’re doing this for your own safety? Generally, how do they respond?
A: No because I just decline them and move on. I have found the entitled arrogant ones are the main group that question why we screen and its not worth another breath. It's common sense why we screen, if I have to explain it we are not a good fit. I don’t mesh well with stupid.
 
Q: Have you got any experience working for an agency? Do you know if their screening processes are generally different to your own?
A: I’ve worked for 2 and owned 1. To the best of my knowledge and experience agencies have their own basic way of screening but not to the extent that I would screen for myself. When I owned my agency, this business was very different and I feel much safer than it is now. The way I would book for my girls is very different than how I would now.
 
Q: We have had a number of people suggest a Verified Clients badge on Lyla where other Providers give them the “okay”. We’ve decided not to go down this road as safety is our number one concern, but what do you think of the idea?
A: Personally, I think that’s a bad idea. I won’t accept a reference from a lady who doesn’t screen, so I have a hard time accepting an ok from someone who books on text apps or doesn’t screen. Plus some men guilt/threaten women into vouching like on P411 years back. Just because I’ve met someone and provided an ok doesn’t qualify as a reference check and if you want to stay safe you have to do the work.
 
Q: Thanks for your input on that, I have similar reservations. What advice would you give to a Client who is nervous about screening?
A: Take your time and find a lady you connect with, who will guide you through the screening process. Real, reputable companions invest in themselves and will have multiple web presence (as in exist in more than one place online), photos and social media as well as possibly interact on boards.  
 
Q: What advice would you give to Providers who might be tempted to skip the process?
A: It is your life and taking an extra 10 minutes to screen someone could save your life. People looking to harm you won’t answer questions.

Q: Thanks so much for your time, Emily. It’s been a pleasure. Is there anything else you would like to add?
Thank you for having me and stay safe, one screened date at a time.

 

[NotchJohnson 214129]

Thanks @EmilyRushton for your comments, they are very valuable to all the ladies on Lyla and to @lydiahardwood for inviting her for that interview.  Love them and keep them coming.

[Sharpe 771]

Thank you @EmilyRushton for your thoughts on this important topic.  I’m frankly amazed at how few ladies I’ve met do any screening at all and i have wondered how they keep themselves safe.  Having said that the first SP that I ever met did have a very large kitchen knife on a counter close by when I walked in the door.

At the same time I know I would feel strange asking another lady for a reference.  Still I think screening is important to do.  I think it protects both the lady and the gentleman too.  No scammer is going to going to ask you for a reference and proof of employer before they scam you!

Tip of the hat to Lydia for another insightful interview.

[Guest ModCat]

@EmilyRushton great interview and really informative! 

[Cheeky.char 460]

@EmilyRushton thank you and I appreciate this interview so much! When I started I got so frustrated at how many people refused screening. I thought I must be doing something wrong. Thankfully, I am surrounded by some wonderful women who assured me that it is my right to screen as I feel fit. If someone really respects you, they do not mind answering the questions that keep us safe. 

[Allie Zeon 2925]

Great interview 👍. Emily is truly a classy lady

[Trevor Lyla 43]

Interesting topic and well answered! Such a difficult task of getting the right balance between safety and privacy whilst filtering out the time wasters!

[OTRE 1087]

Great Interview Emily - thanks.

 

[Jenesis 294]

Amazing interview and I agree 1000%

 

I have also never had a bad date and screening is the reason why. 

 

This is not to say anything against women who don't screen. We all work differently. I wish that every lady could screen the same way. 

[Liv Waters 52361]

Screening and safety is serious business. Knowing it has differential impacts and sight lines, depending on our positions of power and privilege in this industry (which can fluctuate alot even in one life)... and, more, acknowledging that we do perform a certain drag of acceptability to be considered professional or in the know; that those problems are themselves sights of meaningful intervention, (social class, racial consciousness), 

 

I think of a few things.
 

Consumerism, respectability politics affects us in the ways we relate about safety, especially in spaces where we know our patrons see what we’re saying. Social justice takes precedence over optics, always. Each bleeding through the cracks and crevices and self-consciousness of it all. 

Very few of us would be able to effectively run our businesses in the ways described above.  But it does signal to an idea of exclusivity that can bolster our images while playing into a void where practices that stand outside of that are people who are imagined as inviting violence upon themselves. Infantilizing and, in the least, portraying people as not doing enough. We don’t have to say it directly. It just becomes invisible, inferred... the issues of power, those imbalances and that legal violence which remain. 

practical strategies, varied approaches, sharing community resources and wisdom take us outside of ourselves. 

 

What we desire and what is happening are not one in the same. In this way, when we do interviews that attempt to represent not only our business practices but also broader understandings of workers and clients  it’s good to make sure we know what we mean when we say this or that is essential. That is, especially in a racist settler culture where GFE and or companion work often involves swallowing other peoples’ anxieties about being caught seeing a companion while being pert and sweet, all the while trying to keep ourselves in a good way. There’s a coded ness to those relations that permeate between and beyond rigid client/worker identities. I sure as hell hope so. I see that humanity every day. How do we activate it?

How do we to find ways to communicate across the strictures of entertainment, pleasure and encourage deeper truth telling? 
 

Is it ok to say that part of safety is also speaking truth for what it means to do this really meaningful work (my assertion)  while taking the greatest hits as it pertains to surveillance, isolation and comforting people who themselves actively benefit from our restrained conditions of work? What is the consequence of appearing well adjusted to such notions of gentility to maintain composure? How much if that is the healer is us working with what we have?... seeing through the fluff to run our game in the face of challenges. Seeing our fullness and receiving that of others should not mean omitting some of these troubles of mutual recognition. 
 

How can I stop colluding with power to allow a way of thinking through what it means to be safer? 
 

I can become unwittingly complicit in those fascinations because those power relations have currency and we need currency/value  to exist in relationships. 
 

I do not say this to over center myself or to attack either you Lydia or Emily. It’s not about individuals. It’s more a drop in the pond of dialogue to encourage community responsiveness (making Lyla receptive to a range of experiences and street smarts) and making sure we are centering efforts rooted in community when we are talking about pressing issues of how to keep ourselves safer. Screening and even after the screening. Empathy for what it looks like on the ground. 

I struggle through the myopia of these problems and am encouraged by community constantly. They are civic issues as much as they are couched as professional ones. 
 

Being raped, robbed, assaulted are things all of us share concern in. Many who would give their full name and have references enact violence against us on regular basis (overstepping boundaries, micro aggressions, stalking). Just as much of concern. 

 

I wonder, how, we on Lyla could help encourage topical interviews that do this centering work? Rooted in collaborative/justice oriented views of safety.
 

Without this I fear we will confuse personal  celebrity culture (rugged individualism) with justice and equity. The only way MFs are going to stop raping, robbing or otherwise messing with us is if we can mobilize strength of insight to know the difference. 

[Guest JamesB700]

Well, that certainly is a lot to think about Liv Waters.  If only we, random groups of lyla members, could have a get together every so often to talk about these issues in person.  When reading a post it's hard to know sometimes if you are getting what the writer is trying to convey. 

It's easy to just gloss over the obvious mechanics of the industry.  It's harder to to look deeper and ponder the truth and reality of what is really happening.

Thanks Liv for your thoughtful insight.

Thank you Lydia for another interesting interview.

Than you Emily for sharing some of your valuable experience.

[Guest lydiahardwood]

19 hours ago, clearbluesky15 said:

I’m up for that, post COVID of course, lol. Maybe two regionals, one eastern, one western? Anyone want to coordinate? I’d help with an Eastern one. We even had a ‘howto’ thread on it a couple years ago 🙂

-cbs

I would love this! Certainly something to think about for the (hopefully near) future 😉

[Phaedrus 209521]

Great interview! Thanks for doing it, Emily!

One other thing...

On 11/29/2020 at 1:07 PM, Sharpe said:

At the same time I know I would feel strange asking another lady for a reference. 

I get where you're coming from, but really, it's fine. Nobody expects exclusivity here - you know that she sees other clients, and she knows that you see other ladies. I've never encountered a provider who had issues with anyone else I'd seen. And most ladies are quite happy to give a reference - just make sure you're asking someone who you've seen relatively recently (that person you saw once, three years ago, isn't going to remember you)... and I think it's polite to give the person you're asking a reference from a heads-up first.

 

 

[Sharpe 771]

32 minutes ago, Phaedrus said:

Great interview! Thanks for doing it, Emily!

One other thing...

I get where you're coming from, but really, it's fine. Nobody expects exclusivity here - you know that she sees other clients, and she knows that you see other ladies. I've never encountered a provider who had issues with anyone else I'd seen. And most ladies are quite happy to give a reference - just make sure you're asking someone who you've seen relatively recently (that person you saw once, three years ago, isn't going to remember you)... and I think it's polite to give the person you're asking a reference from a heads-up first.

 

 

Oh yes, I’m sure it would fine to ask for a reference.  It’s not about exclusivity.  Just feels strange asking.  Then again I don’t like asking people for a job reference either.  

[Jurgen287 1030]

Its two fold. A lot of gents engage is this practice seeking anonymity. While I do understand the dangers and benefits of screening. I also do not think its wrong for a gent to seek anonymity as that's really the whole point of this for some. As a John how do I know the information used in the screening process won't be used against me in the future. I'm also trusting that the provider is an honest trustworthy individual which history would suggest especially locally here is not always true as we have seen extortion cases. When a lady posts I am almost 99.9% sure its not under her real name so why should I be complicit in revealing my full identity. Just my two cents I don't think there is any right or wrong and I will always believe that as a provider you have the right to run you buisness as YOU want. But as a John I also think we have a right to pursue an encounter of anonymity as well. Never a blanket solution for all unfortunately.  

 

 

 

 

[Phaedrus 209521]

5 hours ago, Jurgen287 said:

Its two fold. A lot of gents engage is this practice seeking anonymity. While I do understand the dangers and benefits of screening. I also do not think its wrong for a gent to seek anonymity as that's really the whole point of this for some.

Screening doesn't have to compromise your anonymity.

A lot of screening is simply done on the basis of your behaviour during the booking process. Did you contact the lady using the method of contact she specifies, or did you call her text-only number? Did you use complete sentences, or did you just say, "Rates? Location?" Did you give her reasonable length of time to reply, or did you get abusive after a whole two minutes of waiting? Did you ask questions that are clearly answered on her website? Are you carrying on the conversation and tire-kicking without ever actually booking? If she asks you to confirm the day before, did you do that? All of this (and more) matters, and none of it identifies you in any way other than "not an idiot or an asshole", which you can hopefully live with.

When it comes to references, that still doesn't *have* to compromise your anonymity. Admittedly, this bit is harder if you're new to all this and don't have a track record... but there are quite a few providers out there who don't ask for references (although they still screen, as above) and who will give you references in turn later on. And references can be given without real names being attached... if your handles/email address/phone number line up then the people giving and receiving the reference know they're talking about the same person, which is what matters.

[vegeta85 1675]

On 12/4/2020 at 7:55 AM, lydiahardwood said:

I would love this! Certainly something to think about for the (hopefully near) future 😉

I would be open to this too. It would be cool to have someone to talk to about this hobby in person instead of just online. 

Also before I got into this, I didn't know that SPs helped each other screen clients. I'm glad you do. It's steps like this that will help ensure the safety and wellbeing of clients and escorts alike.

[Neil young 79]

I feel the safety  of the SP is of top priority. There are a lot of horrible  men who use escorts. I know of a few stories of abuse, stalking and downright cruel behaviors on the part of men. So, I support whatever screening protocols are in place to protect the women in this industry. 

 

[Andee 220524]

Emily, as a same day booker, I have minimal screening requirements which some clients still refuse to go along with.  So, I wholeheartedly agree with you, that if someone is not  willing to meet us where we are at, they are welcome to move on.  

It is not up to us to jump through hoops to prove our worthyness to anyone.

[Abbey-Lee 4]

Thank you Emily! I love this.

 

I work in a small city (you'll be visiting soon) where screening is almost non-existent.  Like I have two heads for asking any questions.

 

Each time you visit and now this interview gives me hope that we raise the safety bar and normalize some version of screening.:) 

 

 

[Ava Maria Love 72]

Thank you @EmilyRushton and @lydiahardwood

, great topic and awesome approach to scrrening Emily.

[5thHorseman 84]

Thanks Emily 🙂

 

Personally, I feel that however a lady wishes to screen, it should be respected. Discretion is valued on both sides of the equation, and if I am looking for someone to provide companionship, I'd like to know that they are safe.

[Orpheo12 70]

On 12/1/2020 at 3:27 PM, Liv Waters said:

Screening and safety is serious business. Knowing it has differential impacts and sight lines, depending on our positions of power and privilege in this industry (which can fluctuate alot even in one life)... and, more, acknowledging that we do perform a certain drag of acceptability to be considered professional or in the know; that those problems are themselves sights of meaningful intervention, (social class, racial consciousness), 

 

I think of a few things.
 

Consumerism, respectability politics affects us in the ways we relate about safety, especially in spaces where we know our patrons see what we’re saying. Social justice takes precedence over optics, always. Each bleeding through the cracks and crevices and self-consciousness of it all. 

Very few of us would be able to effectively run our businesses in the ways described above.  But it does signal to an idea of exclusivity that can bolster our images while playing into a void where practices that stand outside of that are people who are imagined as inviting violence upon themselves. Infantilizing and, in the least, portraying people as not doing enough. We don’t have to say it directly. It just becomes invisible, inferred... the issues of power, those imbalances and that legal violence which remain. 

practical strategies, varied approaches, sharing community resources and wisdom take us outside of ourselves. 

 

What we desire and what is happening are not one in the same. In this way, when we do interviews that attempt to represent not only our business practices but also broader understandings of workers and clients  it’s good to make sure we know what we mean when we say this or that is essential. That is, especially in a racist settler culture where GFE and or companion work often involves swallowing other peoples’ anxieties about being caught seeing a companion while being pert and sweet, all the while trying to keep ourselves in a good way. There’s a coded ness to those relations that permeate between and beyond rigid client/worker identities. I sure as hell hope so. I see that humanity every day. How do we activate it?

How do we to find ways to communicate across the strictures of entertainment, pleasure and encourage deeper truth telling? 
 

Is it ok to say that part of safety is also speaking truth for what it means to do this really meaningful work (my assertion)  while taking the greatest hits as it pertains to surveillance, isolation and comforting people who themselves actively benefit from our restrained conditions of work? What is the consequence of appearing well adjusted to such notions of gentility to maintain composure? How much if that is the healer is us working with what we have?... seeing through the fluff to run our game in the face of challenges. Seeing our fullness and receiving that of others should not mean omitting some of these troubles of mutual recognition. 
 

How can I stop colluding with power to allow a way of thinking through what it means to be safer? 
 

I can become unwittingly complicit in those fascinations because those power relations have currency and we need currency/value  to exist in relationships. 
 

I do not say this to over center myself or to attack either you Lydia or Emily. It’s not about individuals. It’s more a drop in the pond of dialogue to encourage community responsiveness (making Lyla receptive to a range of experiences and street smarts) and making sure we are centering efforts rooted in community when we are talking about pressing issues of how to keep ourselves safer. Screening and even after the screening. Empathy for what it looks like on the ground. 

I struggle through the myopia of these problems and am encouraged by community constantly. They are civic issues as much as they are couched as professional ones. 
 

Being raped, robbed, assaulted are things all of us share concern in. Many who would give their full name and have references enact violence against us on regular basis (overstepping boundaries, micro aggressions, stalking). Just as much of concern. 

 

I wonder, how, we on Lyla could help encourage topical interviews that do this centering work? Rooted in collaborative/justice oriented views of safety.
 

Without this I fear we will confuse personal  celebrity culture (rugged individualism) with justice and equity. The only way MFs are going to stop raping, robbing or otherwise messing with us is if we can mobilize strength of insight to know the difference. 

Thank you for your thoughts, Liv. You draw me toward my better self, wanting to cherish the humanity in SPs. If you follow my few posts, one was a survey that passed unnoticed, I'd love your responses to it. I think you would be a fascinating person to interview, Peace.

[XXJAWXX 4]

Gotta love it.. a super hot girl with high intelligence. That's rare.

[2bigalow2 2938]

I can't tell my occupation. I do not understand why this is needed?  Yes I work.