An Interview With... Adriana Maxwell - Hobbyists, Slobbyists and "Just Your Average Guy"

[Guest lydiahardwood]

Oooh guys I am excited for this one! 😄 I'm sure many of you will know the name @AdrianaMaxwell_TO as she's been a member of Lyla for some time now and it's hard not to notice her pics in the schedules she posts 😍

This time it's on the topic of different Clients you come across in this industry and the different terminologies used. Enjoy and please remember to like and comment! ❤️ 

 

Q: Hey Adriana. It’s great to get the chance to get to know you better. First up, can you tell  me a bit about yourself?  
A: Hi Lyla! Thank you so much for reaching out and giving me this opportunity to chat with you and your audience.  
A bit about me, well where to begin? I’m a Toronto based part-time Escort/Companion/Sex worker/whore. I officially moved back to Toronto a few years ago after moving and living overseas for three  years. The answer is yes, I followed a boy there! One thing to know about me is that I’m a true romantic at heart and do not regret this life-changing decision one bit. Currently you can find me snuggling my pup while binge watching the newest show that’s  been suggested to me. Alternatively, you can find me in the kitchen with a glass of wine in  hand, either cooking up something savoury or baking something deliciously sweet- currently really into apple crumble! I’m a lover of crime podcasts (A morbid podcast is my #1 fave),  anything to do with design / décor and Orange wine of course!  

Q: How long have you been a Companion?  
A: I first dabbled in sex work approximately 4 ½ years ago via sugaring while I was living aboard. I eventually returned home to Toronto and thought I would dabble in sugaring  again, however found the pool of men on the app/site to be drastically different to what I had experienced while overseas, so I stopped my search immediately.  I would also like to note during the time I was sugaring I did not associate it as sex-work. I  steered clear of the term sex worker due to the negative connotations society has put on  our industry. It took time and a lot of internal work to get over my own whorephobia and to be able to confidently dive into full service sex work.  
Therefore, in my mind I have only officially have been a companion/ sex-worker for little  over a year after initially joining an agency in 2019. It was always an aspiration of mine to  progress into Indy (independent) work and the pandemic certainly fast-tracked this  transition and birth of Adriana.  

 

Q: There’s a lot of terminology in this industry, so let’s break a few down! Let’s start with  “hobbyist”. What does that mean to you and do you like the term?  
A: I have seen some clients try to use this term for themselves as a positive attribute …  personally I find it repulsive. By definition a hobbyist is “someone who enjoys doing something as a hobby”. Key word in that definition being “something”.  Now, the last time I checked I was a human being and not a trinket, object, activity or  something of interest to continuously pursue for pleasure. 
My business model and personal preference is to foster and have lasting connections with  my clients, emotionally and physically. I don’t like the thought of being someone’s next  conquest to cross off of their “To-Do list”. I by no means discourage clients to see other  providers, you have to find the right fit and connection that works for you! Plus, a little  variety never hurt anyone.  
The use of this term by a potential client signals to me that they might not necessarily be  looking for a continued connection, which is also ok, however this is might not my ideal  client. 

Q: We had a thread recently on this and the general consensus was that people prefer to  use “Client”. I’ve also seen the term “slobbyist”. What does that mean to you?

A: To me the term “slobbyist” is the next level down from a “hobbyist”. Immediately I think of the typical reply guys you see on either twitter or on other standard  review boards who troll sex-workers, rank them and describe them in a highly misogynistic  way. A slobbyist in my mind and experience is a man who completely discounts our basic human rights, emotions and existence. They see sex-workers primarily as objects specifically  and only meant for their personal use and pleasure.  

Q: So what makes a good Client in your eyes? And how are they different to a “slobbyist” or  bad Client?  
A: There are specific actions you can immediate see in a good client, starting with the initial  booking email. I personally don’t mind if someone reaches out via direct email vs. filling out my booking form as long as ALL information is giving within the first email. Five simple  things; Preferred Date and time, duration of date, a brief intro about yourself and most  importantly: mandatory screening is attached. Alternatively, if you were to fill in my booking  form and send through screening immediately following or within one additional email  correspondence, this shows that you are cognisant and respectful of my time. This is a huge  green flag and proves that the sender is serious about booking, respectful and genuine – these attributes make a client stand out over a “slobbyist”. Short initial emails like “hey are  you available now” or “when can I meet you” lend me to believe it’s a time waster or a  “slobbyist”.  
Additionally, a good client is respectful and communicative during the date. Nothing beats good conversation coupled with genuine interest in the wants and needs of the companion. Although never expected, bringing a small gift, be it a book you enjoyed or wine you  absolutely love, or something off of his/her wish list is always a great first meeting gesture. Lastly, I cannot stress this enough – tip the damn girl!  

Q: Are there any behaviours that are huge red flags to you?  
A: The first red flag off the bat is if someone reaches out with a very generic email as  previously mentioned: “hey, you available now?” or “When can we meet?”. This immediately indicates that they haven’t spent the time to read through my ad or twitter bio leading to my website, which clearly states that I require screening and  additional information prior to any booking.  
The second red flag, is when they refuse to abide by my screening policy. I understand that  not all sex workers are able to adopt screening processes, however I do require them. Therefore if you choose not to abide by the rules which I have in place for my peace of mind and safety, then we will not be meeting in person. End of story. 
If you persist and state that you are a very discreet individual and do not wish to share your information for privacy reasons, guess what? My personal safety will always come first – I have no issues with signing an NDA in the even you are truly concerned about your privacy. 

 

Q: How do you deal with these red flags? Is it a case of straight up stopping communication  or are there certain red flags that you put down to naivety?  
A: In the event that a client simply refuses to send through screening or tries to make up an  excuse as to why he/she should be exempt from it, my assistant knows to cease all correspondence immediately. Simply put, I don’t like wasting time.  
However, sometimes there is some naivety involved or some technology issues especially when a client sends through a selfie or image of their government issued ID. If the client is able to re-send updated/clearer image(s) within a few emails this is acceptable.  

 

Q: What about good signs? For example, how someone contacts you/how they behave on  social media?  
A: I cannot stress enough that it does not take a long-winded email or introduction to make  a good first impression. A few simple sentences about who you are is perfect! Once my  assistant approves your screening, she sends through your email, preferred date/time and  your brief introduction to me to reach out to solidify our date. I prioritize client emails that  have a brief introduction about themselves over ones that don’t provide anything at all. I am  very active on social media; therefore, a potential client already knows who I am to an  extent. Sending a few sentences about your beloved dog, or your favourite country you’ve  travelled to breaks down the barrier between stranger and friend. It’s very similar to any current dating app out there – no one would match with someone online without knowing a bit about the other person they book at date.  

 

Q: I hope I don’t offend anyone with this question but I can’t help but bring it up because I  see it so often… So many Clients have “just your average guy” in their bios, have you noticed  that?! Why do you think they write it? And what do you think they mean by it?

A: Haha – I don’t mean to chuckle, again I’m not wanting to offend anyone, but yes, I have  seen this statement in a few bios online as well.  
Generally speaking, I think the clients that write this statement in their bio want to appear or see themselves as “safe” and approachable clients. However, what does “just your  average guy” truly mean? It’s such an open-ended and vague statement that I certainly would not feel any safer knowing that a potential client is “just your average guy”. 

Q: You can tell a lot about someone from their social media I think. Do you tend to check  out Clients on social if they have it?  
A: I absolutely agree! I specifically have a section in my booking form for clients to provide their twitter/ review board handle for this reason. You can tell a lot about someone based  on their online interactions with not only other providers but other clients and users. If the user is slanderous, misogynistic or even a time-waster it is easy to spot via their comments or tweets. Myself and my assistant check these handles when they are given.  

 

Q: You’re pretty active on Twitter - how many Clients do you get through social media?

A: Yes, I love being active on Twitter and interacting with other providers! However, I hate to say it, but I don’t actually track my analytics or bookings from Twitter as much as I should! I’m blushing while writing this because looking at these specific numbers from my booking forms has been on my to-do-list for a while now. Thank you for reminding me to get on it!  
With that being said, I have had a few clients mention to me upon meeting in person that  they actually stumbled across me via Twitter. Pretty much 9 times out of 10 the clients that  have found me via Twitter have been my preferred type of client. I believe that good clients have found be via this platform because I am fairly candid and am active. Therefore, it is  easy for a client to see if we might have common interests or if they are attracted to my  personality. In my opinion, my clients from Twitter have been the most genuine and caring.  

 

Q: In an ideal world, how would you expect to be approached by a potential Client?  A: Very simple; read my booking requirements / FAQ on my website and reach out  accordingly in a respectful manor.  
If you do choose to reach out via DM on twitter, send through a small gift-card or e-transfer  for my time. My DMs are not open for clients to ask about availability or for general  conversation. My time is valuable and I don’t have the time to respond to every request or  message – by sending through even a small gesture really stands out and signals that you  are considerate of my time and my business. Treat me with respect and that’s what you will  get in return.  

Q: I believe that platforms such as Lyla have a duty to keep “slobbyists” in check, as well as educate potential Clients on etiquette. Is there anything you can think of that we can do to  achieve this?  
A: I think that being able to have these open conversations is a good place to start!

 

Q: What would you say to Providers who are disheartened by negative behaviour from  Clients?  
A: YOU are in control, if you are not feeling comfortable or sense any negativity in an email or DM, simply delete the email or message and block the contact. It’s not worth your mental health or emotional energy to respond to the trolls out there – unless you get kicks out of  doing so (subtle shout out to Stefania for being a true bad-ass who isn’t afraid to beat down on the slobbyists out there!) 
If you’re experiencing negative behaviour in person with a client, re-state your boundaries  to the client and see how they respond. If they change their actions, great! If not, resist re booking them in future, as they will most likely not change their actions. This suggestion may not work if you sense your client might become aggressive or is hostile, in this situation  it is best to de-escalate the situation or remove yourself completely from the situation. Your safety and mental health is top priority, plan for various scenarios to ensure you keep your safety in mind at all times.  
Lastly, there is a wonderful community of humans here to support you if you are feeling down or unsure of yourself. Reach out – we are here for you!  

 

Q: Thanks so much for your time, Adriana. It’s so appreciated. Is there anything else you  would like to add?  
A: I just want to thank you again for this opportunity! I also want to shout out to my fantastic clients and friends within this industry – it’s been an  incredibly tough year for a lot of people. I am so blessed to have my regular clients in my life  and my friends that keep a smile on my face. Sending my love to everyone.  
Last but not least – gentleman, please remember this: TIP HER! 
xx  
Addy
 

[Sharpe 771]

Thank you Adriana for your views on this topic.  Some fascinating things to discuss for sure.  Can’t be said enough how clients should respectfully communicate.  I know I don’t always do some of these things.  Usually I’m paranoid about putting in The wrong number and reaching the wrong person so I usually keep my intro pretty brief.  I have visions of “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??” Kinds of responses because of a typo.
thanks as always Lydia.  I hope you get a raise or some tips with the fantastic job you do here.  Your input certainly makes all the difference.

[NotchJohnson 214123]

I'll be honest I have never seen any of @AdrianaMaxwell_TO ads on here mind you that I don't really look at the ones from Toronto because I rarely visit.  I really like the  picture that you posted of yourself @AdrianaMaxwell_TO.  So thank you for interviewing her @lydiahardwood it was another great one.

[waterat 20911]

Thanks to @AdrianaMaxwell_TO for sharing this with us. I have to admit you may have inspired me to establish a twitter account! As always @lydiahardwood my ongoing appreciation and thanks too. Keep up the good work

[Allie Zeon 2925]

Another great interview! Thanks 🙏 

[Phaedrus 209521]

Yep, great interview. Thanks, Adriana!

[Kilt Boy 29353]

Just your average guy.

[Ava Maria Love 72]

Absolutely Awesome and Ariculate interview!!  Thank you !

[AndrewR 308]

Very informative interview. I tend to always tip by I worry about being stingy.  I would like to get opinions on what an appropriate tip is. For example let's say $300 for one hour; how should this be topped up? 

[Neil young 79]

Thank you for the insights from the SP perspective.  Appreciate the candid replies.