An Interview With... Liza - A Female Client Hiring Male Companions

[Guest lydiahardwood]

Happy Sunday, lovers! We recently interviewed @SamGaines, a male Canadian escort. I am delighted to say we now have the chance to interview one of his Clients, @Liza ❤️  

Q: Hey Liza! Thanks so much for taking the time to answer a few questions for me. Can you tell me a bit about yourself?
A: Hi Lydia! 🙂 Thank you very much for reaching out after I left my review about @SamGaines. In short, I am a single mom of two, and I have been divorced for two years. I have a job that can be really demanding at times, a passion for dancing and a desire to not take life too seriously.   
 
Q: We got talking because you came here to write a recommendation for Sam Gaines, who we interviewed last month. Tell me, was that your first experience of hiring an escort?
A: It most definitely was a first for me. I came across his ad almost by accident. I wasn’t actually looking for an escort. It was one of those nights where I got lost on Google… and the rest is history.
 
Q: What led to you deciding to book a date with him?
A: I won’t lie, his photos and short description were enough for me to want to contact him (you can call me superficial, lol). And yes, he also has a great website, he can write, and he has strong opinions he is not afraid to voice (which is definitely attractive). But these were more like cherries on the sundae. After I chatted with him online, I realized that he had more than a good marketing strategy: he sounded like a person who genuinely cared. We had two video chats that last for hours before I told him that I wanted to go ahead and meet him in person. But to be honest, I knew five minutes after we started chatting the first time.
 
Q: Were you nervous?
A: No, I wasn’t nervous, I was waaaaay beyond “nervous” 😛 I was most definitely out of my comfort zone. I believe in connections and I am very picky when it comes to letting someone into my life. So yeah... I was a nervous mess. But Sam was good at making me comfortable. The first time we met on Skype, I was already very nervous, but it last for about 30 seconds. He is very down to earth and relaxed, and we talked about a lot of things. I lost sight of the fact I was talking to an “escort”. He quickly made me feel as if I was chatting with an old friend.
 
Q: I know the date went well because you wrote a positive recommendation for Sam! But can you tell me a bit more about it - what did he do to make you feel at ease, what surprised you, how did you feel afterwards?
A: I was definitely surprised at his ability to make me feel “special”. The first time we met, he made me feel like as if he were truly happy to see me. I lost sight of the “financial transaction” aspect of things very quickly. He is very easy going. I booked him for a full weekend, and I was afraid that I might want him to leave sooner. This definitely didn’t happen! 🙂 We had that “bubble” together, which was all about living the “boyfriend” experience fully and forgetting about the rest of the world. I know he says he doesn’t do “fake things” on his website – and I hope he won’t resent me for saying this, lol – but just the simple fact of calling it a “boyfriend experience” is a bit of an illusion. Was he my boyfriend? No. (I would have been crazy or dumb to believe it.) Was it fun pretending I believed it? YES - most definitely! We all need to fantasize and romanticize things at times I guess. Being able to "play" is important, especially in the crazy world we live in - same as when I was a kid and pretended my friends and I were knights and princesses. This whole experience was just the more grown-up version of it. Afterwards, it felt good, but maybe a bit bittersweet. It was the same as awakening after a dream: you just wish it could have been real - even if you knew it wasn’t real every step of the way. 
 
Q: We hear of men hiring escorts all the time but we don’t see it much on the flipside. Why do you think that is?
A: There is a ton of stigma about women owning their sexuality. Look at Disney princesses, lol. Are they sensual in any way, shape or form? It's a big NO. And they are the role models we grow up with. As women, we are taught to be kind, nurturing, compassionate, hard-working, independent, self-sufficient… but sexuality remains a big taboo. I think that there is a lot of shame associated with being a woman with needs and wants. On the other hand, a man is supposed to have these needs or he is not a “real” man. It’s quite unfair. And it is fake. Actually - and I’ll do my mea culpa here - I felt good contacting Sam because I could pretend that I wasn’t contacting him for sex. His website says he’s an “intimacy coach”, that he gives advice about relationships, etc. “No, I wasn’t contacting him because his photos were hot, I just wanted a serious chat with an intimacy expert.” (ahem…) I shouldn’t have felt that I needed to justify myself to myself. And that’s what I get out of my experience: it’s totally ok for a woman to admit to having needs. Are we ashamed of being thirsty or hungry? Well… sometimes. Because society makes us believe that we aren't worth anything if we are not a size 2 or 4. But should we feel ashamed of having needs that prove we are human beings? Definitely not.
 
Q: What do you think are the main reasons why women hire escorts? Do you think it’s a different reason to men hiring female escorts?
A: It’s actually quite difficult for me to answer this question because I can’t speak for all women. In my case, I was looking for a sensual experience with someone I could connect with physically - as well as emotionally to an extent. I could have gone to a bar – in theory, because with the whole virus situation and all, it would have proven difficult… but you never know who you are going to meet. There are all kinds of freaks out there, and hiring an escort felt safer. I didn’t want anything “meh”, and so I was happy to pay to increase my chances of having a good time. I guess it’s the same for men? We all feel lonely at times and dream about a “special someone”. I wanted a sense of “connection”, and that’s exactly what I got for a couple of days.  
 
Q: Do you know of many women who have seen male escorts?
A: No, I just know of myself!
 
Q: How open do you feel like you can be about this? Have you told anyone about your date?
A: I have told three very close friends of mine. At first, they were telling me that I shouldn’t have to pay and that I should try to “date” the old-fashioned way. Then, I sent them the link to Sam’s website, and they immediately told me to go for it, lol. I didn’t share details with them, though. And I won’t tell anyone else. Not because I feel ashamed, but because I don’t have that many people I want to share these things with. It was what I needed in the moment. At the end of the day, it has brought me more than I was expecting because it was about a human experience, too. I am not sure that many people can understand that.
 
Q: What do you think is the reason women hold back from hiring escorts or talking about it?
A: Shame for sure. It definitely clashes with what society tells us about who we should be. And also, most women think that if they have to pay to have a “boyfriend”, it’s because nobody wants them, because they are not “enough” or not “worthy”. I didn’t feel like that, though. I’d say that this was about taking my power back as a woman and not being afraid of owning what I wanted and who I was. Is it possible to find a hot looking guy who knows his stuff in bed and who can have a real conversation on the corner of the street? Yes, but certainly not everyday (nor every month). Is it possible on Tinder or on whatever dating apps are out there? I’ve downloaded one of those apps and kept it for 20 minutes. THAT was depressing. Hiring an escort - and the whole process surrounding our actual meeting - wasn’t. Far from it. Women probably hold back from hiring escorts because they care more about what other people might think than about how good it could make them feel. And this is the real problem.
 
Q: So… is it an experience you’d repeat?
A: Why not? But it takes the right timing, the right person, and a connection - no matter how you label that “connection”. Because as much as it is fun to pretend and play, I would be lying if I said that I wouldn’t prefer to meet someone I could call my “boyfriend” for real. It’s nice to have really tasty food, it’s a sensual experience and it could involve a lot of temporary pleasure, but it brings the whole experience to another level if you can share that awesome meal with someone you care about. To me, when there are no deep feelings involved, having sex with someone is like eating alone: it definitely is enjoyable, and it feeds you for a while, but there is still something missing at the end of the day.
 
Q: Thanks so much for your time, Liza. Anything you’d like to add?
A: I really want to thank you Lydia for your awesome work on Lyla! This forum is a very healthy place to discuss those issues and to learn about them, and even if I don’t comment often, it is nice to read what open-minded people interacting in an intelligent and respectful way have to say. And I now have a sincere admiration for escorts who do that job for the right reasons.

[charlottequinn123 7291]

What a totally awesome interview! I have always been curious about the “other side” I wanted to know, and will one day find out, what it’s like to book with a male provider ... thank you so much for this insightful and well written interview! You guys are amazing xo happy Sunday 

[waterat 20911]

Thanks so much @Liza for sharing your thoughts and approach on a topic that is so rarely discussed. It shouldn't be surprising to recognize many common sentiments from both sides of the experience of hiring an escort though I hadn't seriously thought about it much from the female perspective. I will probably come back with another question or two but I need to mull over this great interview before I do!

I always appreciate @lydiahardwood's efforts in sharing these interviews with us and @Liza already expressed it perfectly:

1 hour ago, lydiahardwood said:

A: I really want to thank you Lydia for your awesome work on Lyla! This forum is a very healthy place to discuss those issues and to learn about them, and even if I don’t comment often, it is nice to read what open-minded people interacting in an intelligent and respectful way have to say. And I now have a sincere admiration for escorts who do that job for the right reasons.

 

 

[beesh 1286]

If I had adequate time & literary prowess, I would compile Gaines's interview & this nice lady's comments & other thirsty replies to Gaines's interview  .... & write 👙 Fifty Shades of Canuck 🩲 ... and give E L James a run for her money 🤘

[vegeta85 1675]

Turns out that men's needs and women's needs aren't all that different 

[Sharpe 771]

This was an insightful interview for sure.  I don’t think I can say it any better than @waterrat did above.  Thank you @Liza and @lydiahardwood

[Phaedrus 209521]

Thansk, @Liza! Great to hear from a very rare perspective!

[Guest]

Great interview. I think it is very representative of many women's feelings around seeing a male escort.

Thanks for sharing.

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Yet another great interview, so thank you @lydiahardwood and to @Liza for sharing her experience with us.  I really like the way you expressed yourself @Liza and I also hope that seeing @SamGaines as help you fill the void in your life as for us seeing female escorts.  I know that without them we would feel empty.

[Vicky Lopez 1886]

I’ve done it! I will never regret it and can’t wait to do it again! I hire the ladies occasionally too. :)) 

I realize that I’m an escort so it makes it easier for me in some ways, but I can identify with Liza, as a woman in general. 

The one male I had hired was with Unicorns in Montreal a couple of years ago and they are not around anymore, and most of the escorts are now independent.
 It’s a totally different experience to be the one to have all the attention. At times, I found myself lost because I am so used to turning on the other person, even as a way to get myself excited too. He seemed genuinely interested in me though, so I didn’t feel insecure or anything. He handled it like a pro, so affectionate and always asking me what I like, if I like it like this or that.

I would say, “But what do YOU like?” And he’d say, “I like everything, What can I do for you?”

So, while I think that it’s definitely unique to hire someone, and I totally love to have all the attention, it’s just a different experience than the usual & traditional thing between a guy and girl. 

I would prefer a reciprocal arrangement for the long term though. 

So, all situations are great. I actually would like to mix it up. 😄 

Edit: When it comes to the guys, I’d prefer it reciprocal for sure and I dk if it’s because of being conditioned to want to please a guy in order to be excited, honestly, who knows? But I definitely like a two-way street more than being the only one to get 100% of the attention. 

[Guest]

On 6/20/2021 at 1:09 PM, Vicky Lopez said:

I’ve done it! I will never regret it and can’t wait to do it again! I hire the ladies occasionally too. :)) 

I realize that I’m an escort so it makes it easier for me in some ways, but I can identify with Liza, as a woman in general. 

The one male I had hired was with Unicorns in Montreal a couple of years ago and they are not around anymore, and most of the escorts are now independent.
 It’s a totally different experience to be the one to have all the attention. At times, I found myself lost because I am so used to turning on the other person, even as a way to get myself excited too. He seemed genuinely interested in me though, so I didn’t feel insecure or anything. He handled it like a pro, so affectionate and always asking me what I like, if I like it like this or that.

I would say, “But what do YOU like?” And he’d say, “I like everything, What can I do for you?”

So, while I think that it’s definitely unique to hire someone, and I totally love to have all the attention, it’s just a different experience than the usual & traditional thing between a guy and girl. 

I would prefer a reciprocal arrangement for the long term though. 

So, all situations are great. I actually would like to mix it up. 😄 

Edit: When it comes to the guys, I’d prefer it reciprocal for sure and I dk if it’s because of being conditioned to want to please a guy in order to be excited, honestly, who knows? But I definitely like a two-way street more than being the only one to get 100% of the attention. 

I can't imagine the number of PMs you're getting to take you up on that agreement. Lol