Funniest excuses for not wearing a condom

[Guest lydiahardwood]

Throwback to the time that my sex ed tutor put a condom on her head to prove that most guys who say they're "too big" for condoms are lying loool.

What funny excuses have you heard? Can be your own experiences or ones you've heard elsewhere. 

[Guest]

[waterat 20911]

If I'm found asphyxiated with a condom over my head, Lydia, it's your fault. Occasionally my cock thinks it's bigger than my head, or at least that it's in charge of me.

My sexual adventures began in the pre-HIV days and STI's were not rampant so the assurance of 'I'm on the pill' basically eliminated any condom discussion. Had one episode with an ex who claimed to have stopped taking the pill and was now pregnant but was, thankfully for me, lying. Not the first of many lies, whew! With my 2nd ex, within weeks of her period starting up again, baby number one was on the way....

My favourite poster of all time is of a bee flying from flower to flower and captioned: 'Bippity-Boppity-Bee, Beware of STD!' - didn't find an image of it on-line. 

Now visiting SW's who are protecting their health and livelihood, along with their client's condom use is expected and appreciated.

[peacectryguy 12547]

I sometimes wonder how I got through the 70s and 80s  without getting an std/sti or knocking up some girl. 

I'm thinking one of the more common ones are, "I've never worn one and have been safe so I don't need to". Yeah, I was young and stupid once too there youngsters.

[OldandNerdy 1304]

40 minutes ago, peacectryguy said:

I sometimes wonder how I got through the 70s and 80s  without getting an std/sti or knocking up some girl. 

I'm thinking one of the more common ones are, "I've never worn one and have been safe so I don't need to". Yeah, I was young and stupid once too there youngsters.

I've often wondered about that for myself as well, and then I remember that I'm hideously ugly, so then I have my answer.

[NotchJohnson 214136]

I can only remember 3 women that I made love with without condoms, One I was madly in love with, the second I was engaged to, but we never got to the alter, and the last was my wife.  I always force the ladies to put one on me themselves so that they feel safe.

No glove...no love !

[NotchJohnson 214136]

One excuse that I used with some of the lady I was with was "Don't worry I'll pull out before I cum !"  I've tried this on 2 of the ladies that I really loved..."There is always the other hole !" or "I just want to put the tip in a bit !"  Either way I was ready to be a father with any of those ladies but only become one with one lady only.  I heard guys tell the girl "I'll pay for plan "B" !".

[Guest lydiahardwood]

Quote

11 hours ago, NotchJohnson said:

I heard guys tell the girl "I'll pay for plan "B" !".

 

Lol woooow, sure, I'll put unnecessary hormones into my body, that won't protect me from STIs, because THEY'RE picking up the bill 😂 What a fine example of chivalry hahahah

I've heard guys use the excuse that they're allergic to latex before which makes me feel bad for the people who actually are allergic

[peacectryguy 12547]

8 hours ago, lydiahardwood said:

Lol woooow, sure, I'll put unnecessary hormones into my body, that won't protect me from STIs, because THEY'RE picking up the bill 😂 What a fine example of chivalry hahahah

I've heard guys use the excuse that they're allergic to latex before which makes me feel bad for the people who actually are allergic

There are alteratives to latex and most providers I've seen have a variety. Supposedly, they are more likely to break than latex but I've never seen it. I've used Skyn lots of times with no issues. Some ladies have a latex allergy. My ex did but we never used condoms, of course.

I think if a guy is truly allergic to latex, he should likely communicate that ahead of time so she can be prepared. Of course, we could have a long conversation on the lack of communication by people these days.

[Guest]

[waterat 20911]

Read that and now I have a new excuse. I'm a Scot.

[Guest lydiahardwood]

23 hours ago, peacectryguy said:

I've used Skyn lots of times with no issues. 

Skyn are my favourite condom brand! Also never had any issues

[OldandNerdy 1304]

45 minutes ago, lydiahardwood said:

Skyn are my favourite condom brand! Also never had any issues

I'm all for Skyn as well.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Well, here's one excuse you can't use any more

 https://www.theonion.com/trojan-introduces-new-anti-anxiety-weighted-condoms-1842619828