A "How To" Handbook?

[cat 262460]

There are many threads that address individual issues that come during the course of our days in this wonderful hobby, and while surfing I have come across several good outlines for conducting oneself. But they fail to address the intricacies that often confuse hobbyists and SP?s alike. I would like feedback from both sides, as I have been compiling a ?how to? especially designed for this industry. This is a chance for people to put in their likes and dislikes and will help newbies by giving them a playbook that will help them maneuver their way thru. I would like to address any and every suggestion that covers a given situation that you have been in personally that you can see someone else having to figure out. It has been an ongoing project this year and I would like to have it finished by summer?s end. So if you have any situations that you feel are worthy of being addressed, let?s get them out here so we can discuss them?.

 

Catherine

[antlerman 17064]

Cat, possibly if yoyu are able to list what you ahve so far in point form it might jog some of these old brains out here into remembering what we wanted to know when we started......way back when.........

[shypilot 113]

Cat, possibly if yoyu are able to list what you ahve so far in point form it might jog some of these old brains out here into remembering what we wanted to know when we started......way back when.........

 

 

I was just thinking the same thing. A little structure to start things off would probably get this moving very well.

[cat 262460]

1. Deciding what kind of experience you are looking for

2. Determining what kind of SP to use?ie, agency vs indie

3. Planning the encounter, contacting, appropriate language etc

4. Fees, tipping, true cost

5. Etiquette and hygiene

6. Unusual situations

 

All of these have been addressed and once I get it done I will forward the final copy to the Mod to post in its entirety. I want personal experiences so that I can compare what I have written to the experience of the hobbiest. I have been on the client end of the stick on many occasions, as a woman I think my experience is probably very different that that of a man...

 

Catherine

[PistolPete 61421]

When you first meet one another, a very generous hug and kiss at door when you 1st meet goes a long way, and really breaks the ice.:D

 

Generally speaking from my own experiences that 1st moment really takes the encounter to a very relaxed atmosphere which is great for both parties involved.

 

Plus at that stage, I always hand over my envelope, to get the transaction out of the way.:)

 

2ndly....Some very nice two way conversation also helps you feel relaxed...who cares what you talk about..but it helps to simply relax yourself.

 

It is not a matter of grabbing your SP's hand and take her to bedroom and wham bam thank you mam...Effection/chat really does enhance that moment.

 

Finally when you are done your fun activities, I like to lay beside my SP, carress and chat if time permitting of course. It really seals the deal.

 

Hopefully Cat, these are the comments you are looking for!

 

My take on it....Pete;)

 

ps.. your personal hygiene goes a long way!! I always clean shave my facial hair, so NO whisker burns for her both regions.I'm fully showered and smell good, if requested to take another shower at her place...not a problem.

I never used foul language when meeting/during activities with an SP it is just common courtesy.Yes I know some may say...come on ------ (SP name) you like to me to fu-- you hard now don't you...sorry but that is not my way.

 

 

There are many threads that address individual issues that come during the course of our days in this wonderful hobby, and while surfing I have come across several good outlines for conducting oneself. But they fail to address the intricacies that often confuse hobbyists and SP’s alike. I would like feedback from both sides, as I have been compiling a “how to” especially designed for this industry. This is a chance for people to put in their likes and dislikes and will help newbies by giving them a playbook that will help them maneuver their way thru. I would like to address any and every suggestion that covers a given situation that you have been in personally that you can see someone else having to figure out. It has been an ongoing project this year and I would like to have it finished by summer’s end. So if you have any situations that you feel are worthy of being addressed, let’s get them out here so we can discuss them….

 

Catherine

[cat 262460]

Darling Pistol Pete,

 

This is exactly the kind of input needed....

 

Catherine

[PistolPete 61421]

ps.. your personal hygiene goes a long way!! I always clean shave my facial hair, so NO whisker burns for her both regions.I'm fully showered and smell good, if requested to take another shower at her place...not a problem.

I never used foul language when meeting/during activities with an SP it is just common courtesy.Yes I know some may say...come on ------ (SP name) you like to me to fu-- you hard now don't you...sorry but that is not my way.

 

I should say.. I do like dirty talk it does not bother me, but I just don't drop the f-bombs...I say..."you like this don't you?"

"it feels nice doesn't it" ..."I'm not hurting you am I?" :) "yes you would like more"....

[kih 458]

That first ice breaker is important whether its a firm hug, gentle kiss or both.

 

I also like the lady to be happy so I usually ask do they like something specific. Pleased and be pleased!

 

To me music playing in the background rather than the TV blaring is far superior. Soft lighting or candlelight is a nice enhancer to the experience.

[shypilot 113]

Pete is absolutely right on hygiene. What a turn off for the SP and if you look at it the other way around I am not likely to stay and definitely not likely to comeback if the SP does not really care about her appearance.

 

I may be old school but I believe it is important that as a client remembering to be a gentleman and showing the lady respect goes a long way to starting things off on the right foot. Conversely if I am greeted by a woman that shows no concern for the language she is using on the initial meet or is in a rush the effect can be very negative.

[antlerman 17064]

cancellation and what to do if you have to cancell, or if an appointment gets cancelled on you.

 

Unusual Situations sub catagory of what to do if condom breaks, testing.....

 

Planning how far in advance...week...day...hours....what to expect.

 

clock watching what to expect in the way opf a true courtesan vs. a woman who has 5 clocks in the room. Or should it be up to the client to watch the clock. When does the time start and finish.....

 

Rates what to usually expect from lower rates vs. higher rates.

 

Touring ladies Vs. Local talent working behind the scenes to help touring ladies come to town......spread the word of them and get people to help convince them...is it worth it or recomended.

[d*mm*y 887]

Here is a pretty good site on the subject;

http://sex.perkel.com/

 

Found many interesting tidbits he does mention that his perspective is flawed because he has only ever been on the user side. You could fill in the blanks on the service providers side!!!

[cat 262460]

"One more quick note about hygiene "down there". I actually came across a posting about that and it got into the gentleman as well. Perhaps I should have responded to that post but it was so old I let it slide. Anyway, all seemed to be in agreement that it should be clean shaven or very well trimmed. Wow ... that one threw me for a loop. I've tried the shaving and/or grooming things a few times in my life and don't like it at all. Is this type of grooming truly expected on both sides these days?" insidevoice

 

My personal choice is....YES, YES, YES...GROOM!!!!! Flossing with pubic hair is difficult as they are not usually long enough to wrap around my fingers for a grip and if they are long enough then there really is a problem! I also hate discreetly fishing for a stray that's loose in my mouth while trying to focus on more important things. I am sure if I ever end up on a C.S.I. autopsy table, there will be a hairball lodged somewhere inside containing multiple donor strands which they will have fun trying to figure out which belongs to whom because the strays sometimes head south before I can catch them! If you can't keep it smooth, at least keep it well manicured. Many SPs offer grooming as part of their sessions, just inquire cause it's lots of fun!

 

Catherine

[PistolPete 61421]

You would not have to worry about using any dental floss with my pubics... Cat;)...I'm smooth as a babies butt in all that region...it is so much nicer for the ladies...+ I like it...a SP also told me it also makes you look bigger..ha....ha:rolleyes:

I like it a woman are neatly trimmed or my favourite of course is they are also very smooth in their lovely region,makes for nice times, both ways:D

 

"One more quick note about hygiene "down there". I actually came across a posting about that and it got into the gentleman as well. Perhaps I should have responded to that post but it was so old I let it slide. Anyway, all seemed to be in agreement that it should be clean shaven or very well trimmed. Wow ... that one threw me for a loop. I've tried the shaving and/or grooming things a few times in my life and don't like it at all. Is this type of grooming truly expected on both sides these days?" insidevoice

 

My personal choice is....YES, YES, YES...GROOM!!!!! Flossing with pubic hair is difficult as they are not usually long enough to wrap around my fingers for a grip and if they are long enough then there really is a problem! I also hate discreetly fishing for a stray that's loose in my mouth while trying to focus on more important things. I am sure if I ever end up on a C.S.I. autopsy table, there will be a hairball lodged somewhere inside containing multiple donor strands which they will have fun trying to figure out which belongs to whom because the strays sometimes head south before I can catch them! If you can't keep it smooth, at least keep it well manicured. Many SPs offer grooming as part of their sessions, just inquire cause it's lots of fun!

 

Catherine

[r100rs 859]

one issue I deal with regularly since sometimes I have a lot of cash on me(due to my business).

 

I never know what to do if I am going for a shower or bathroom. Should I grab my valuables/should I leave them .... it's a real dilema. Of course if I'm driving or something I would leave most things in the vehicle.

 

I am inherently trusting so typically leave everything where it was but what if??

 

I don't really know if there is a solution to this - guess it is an inherent risk in being a customer just like an SP has a risk of a bad customer(definitely higher risk ! ).

 

got to go work is calling.

 

r100rs

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest f***2f***]

All good points.

On the subj of donation I'm not freaked if the lady asks me if the right amount is there or even if she does a quick check

...she's a business woman and when I procure services anywhere else the business person checks the payment. I wouldn't expect a repeat lady to do that but if we've never met I think she has a right to verify.

Several ladies have made it fairly clear right up front what is on the menu but usually before the encounter...sometimes if she's having a busy or stressful day she checks what we're going for and I don't mind that at all.

 

I think respectful language in the initial email or phone call is extremely important. I don't know this lady yet and she doesn't know me

 

Sobriety is important when you meet your SP too. Some SP sites are very explicit that there be absolutely no drunkenness or drug activity....see Pretty Paige.

if you and your SP share a little something together as mutually agreed that's one thing but showing up absolutely wasted is really rude and unacceptable behavior.

I expect the SP to be sober too upon initially meeting them, if you agree to move to another level of consciousness that should be together.

 

When I started hobbying a few months ago my first two appointments I set up as outcalls (lady comes to you) and they were both no shows. I was really pissed off and never considered employing either lady again. If you're an indy you'd better learn to manage your calendar because word of mouth will kill you or enrich you.

the ladies who are elite and successful on this board are not only excellent service providers they are reliable and trustworthy.....which brings up discretion.

 

As we've seen on this forum hobbiests need to protect their information stored on cell phones, emails and pdas. Your going to cause more than yourself a ton of grief if you are careless with SPs phone numbers or personal information i.e. leaving it where wives, bosses, coworkers or other snoops can access it. This includes notes you leave in your pants pockets about an appointment....the old technology can still get you busted. It causes the ladies a lot of angst too as they all know that there is no wrath like a woman scorned.

 

i'll probably think of more but I just got in from work and need to relax.

[amadeus65 113]

Excellent thread cat as usual.

 

Having been the victim of bait and switch's et all, I have found out a few things. In Thunder Bay the agency girls seem to be on the level, the indie that I tried made me wait hours for essentially a no show.

 

The only problem with agencies in thunder bay is they don't discuss details over the phone so its really a hit and miss. Still though after talking to the girl I did see I found out that the rates are basically the same for all the escort agencies. Tipping is not expected but I tip well for good service and I did for her and will again when I have a duo with her and her girlfriend on monday:D

 

That being said, I would only use independants in winnipeg, simply for the fact that I don't like agencies charging me 184 dollars just for the girl to show up at the hotel, and then you have to negotiate with them and many of them require a "very large tip" even if the service is awful. Read my post on "agencies vs indies" for more on that.

 

When I choose an sp, I expect to see accurate pictures, services on the menu listed and rates including any extra charged for "extras" On EC most of the girls have everything down in black and white. I know how much money to bring in an envelope etc. If they were to demand more money for services than what they advertise, I would somehow put the word out. Sometimes the chemistry isn't there, if thats the case Its no ones fault, I would pay the fee and nothing more would be said. However if I was in danger, the girls was drunk or high etc, then I think I would post that here as it would be a dangerous situation.

 

I always have fresh breath, am clean shaven, and freshly showered before I see an sp. I expect the sp, to be the same. I do smoke and if I am doing an incall and the sp doesn't smoke I will go outside, thats a given. For me a smoke while breaking the ice gives me time to get rid of the jitters I normally have, its a plus for me if the sp smokes.

 

cleanliness is a two faced coin as well, I expect my sp, to be clean and preferably shaved or waxed, nothing is worse than doing daty and she is niether of the above.

 

I always have my money in a white envelope and place it on the table when I meet the girl. Then I usually "go to the washroom" to clean up. Even if I don't have to go I do this so the girl can check the envelope and assure herself she isn't getting ripped off. If it is a regular for me like Sydnee I don't bother with the envelope, we have seen each other enough that we are comfortable with each other, but anyone that is new to me that is the way I do it.

 

I also ask questions, which I found out annoys some sp's. That is fine but If certain things get me off ie. positions, things like dfk and daty and it isn't mentioned in her add as being on the menu, I ask simply for the fact that if she doesn't offer these services I won't waste time booking a session. Also just like many sp's now require references, I myself will not see an sp unless I have read reviews on her both on here and cerf, just to make sure that she is the type of girl I would feel comfortable with. I have seen sydnee, mystique and elizabeth now and all of them have been excellent for me. The sp I was with in Thunder Bay told me any of her friends in the industry would easily be comfortable with me, So I guess I must be doing something right.:)

 

Hopefully this helps you cat, for you I think I might even shave below:D Nobody else though.

[d*mm*y 887]

 

One more quick note about hygiene "down there". I actually came across a posting about that and it got into the gentleman as well. Perhaps I should have responded to that post but it was so old I let it slide. Anyway, all seemed to be in agreement that it should be clean shaven or very well trimmed. Wow ... that one threw me for a loop. I've tried the shaving and/or grooming things a few times in my life and don't like it at all. Is this type of grooming truly expected on both sides these days?

 

 

Neat works very well, also Marie Sole is a full estetician and does waxing :)

[d*mm*y 887]

hahaha ... thanks, dummpy. I dunno. As I expressed I didn't like the feeling of being shaven down there. Even before all this metrosexual stuff came about it was not for me. Now, I'm not one to judge so what others do is their own bees"wax ".

 

 

ya I am easy to spot the little fat guy with the purse and purpled stripped shirt with pink ascott!!

 

That is when I am not wearing my Borat style bathing suite!

[Guest f***2f***]

The other issue with shaving is what to tell the wife? If I showed up freshly shaven the red flags would be a waving.

[PistolPete 61421]

The other issue with shaving is what to tell the wife? If I showed up freshly shaven the red flags would be a waving.

 

Start shaving everyday, there should not be any red flags.Tell you are doing it for her so she won't get whisker burns, and maybe she will DFK you alot;)

[amadeus65 113]

"One more quick note about hygiene "down there". I actually came across a posting about that and it got into the gentleman as well. Perhaps I should have responded to that post but it was so old I let it slide. Anyway, all seemed to be in agreement that it should be clean shaven or very well trimmed. Wow ... that one threw me for a loop. I've tried the shaving and/or grooming things a few times in my life and don't like it at all. Is this type of grooming truly expected on both sides these days?" insidevoice

 

My personal choice is....YES, YES, YES...GROOM!!!!! Flossing with pubic hair is difficult as they are not usually long enough to wrap around my fingers for a grip and if they are long enough then there really is a problem! I also hate discreetly fishing for a stray that's loose in my mouth while trying to focus on more important things. I am sure if I ever end up on a C.S.I. autopsy table, there will be a hairball lodged somewhere inside containing multiple donor strands which they will have fun trying to figure out which belongs to whom because the strays sometimes head south before I can catch them! If you can't keep it smooth, at least keep it well manicured. Many SPs offer grooming as part of their sessions, just inquire cause it's lots of fun!

 

Catherine

Thanks for that one cat, I haven't found an sp yet that would do that for me

[antlerman 17064]

I started shaving when I had my vasectomy.....and then I said I liked it so much I stuck with it....she is happy now that I did.

 

My buddy just started to do it "out of the blue".......he told his SO that he had heard from the guys how good it feels and how much thier SO's liked it....so he gave it a try.......that was his story...and it worked....

 

Now....

 

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1388798/how_to_shave_your_balls_remix/

 

enjoy

[PistolPete 61421]

Thanks antlerman....LMAO...good way to start a Friday!

[cat 262460]

Oh my ... my aside seems to have somewhat sabotaged your thread, Cat. Sorry about that.

 

Darling insidevoice,

 

No apology needed! This is the kind of discussion I was hoping for. Open honest communication with suggestions that are well thought out, and proven true thru experience. Every entry has something worth reading!

 

Everyone...thank you and keep it coming!

 

Catherine

[Tom_Slick 110]

Wow..an interesting topic

For me I've always been a fan of outcalls as I feel the most comfortable with that arrangement. I do prefer booking a few days in advance as it's just like waiting for Christmas. The build up is half the fun.

I'm always concerned with offending a lady so hygiene is important to me as mentioned previously by others. I do a trimming of my pubic areas the day before with the hopes that I won't have a stray hair at the wrong time. Shower, floss and brush my teeth 20 minutes before the date. I will shallow a small shot (yuck) of mouth wash just in case there is something foul brewing in my innards.(Armed Forces trick to keep the RSM happy when he's standing and yelling 1 inch from your face) I place the money in an unsealed envelope and place it in plain site. (Usually the most likely place she would place her hand bag.) I stock the fridge with a small bottle of white and red house type wines plus a coke, sprite and some fruit drink and water. When she arrives I take her coat, offer her a drink and make sure she sees the envelope.

I prefer a chat to break the ice and wait for her to initiate contact. I'm funny this way but for me it's still a date thing and her permission to touch is needed before I will do so. Like others I will not drop the F bomb and treat the young lady with the same respect I would should she be a more traditional date. I don't ask about her job etc but try and find something light to talk about or at least talk as best as I can while my heart pounds in my throat.

I prefer a slow simmering session opposed to a porn star experience. One shot on net is enough as it's the quality that counts. I do expect that she stay for the time booked and prefer that she keep track of the time. If it was an incall the reverse would be true as I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome. A cuddle / massage after the event is always valued.

I will check her website over (If there is one) and make sure that I?m up to speed regarding any of her policies.

I may have a drink but never more then 2 in the last 90 minutes before the date. Wouldn't want alchole to affect performance.

I always tip 10% regardless of service and already have that money in the envelope. If she provides a wonderful experience that I will add an additional tip afterwards.

At the end of the date I always ask if she would like to be escorted out of the hotel.

Usually when I follow the above it keeps me out of trouble and meets the requirements for the lady. I would be curious if there is anything else I should do to make the experience more stress free for her.

I do have expectations of my own which I will list.

The young lady should always live up to their own billing if listed on a website. I know a GFE experience is a very subjective thing but if you advertise DFK, BBBJ etc then please do provide that service.

If you are going to be late please call.

When having the "get to know you chat" start some innocent touching like hand on my arm etc with more forward touching as the next few minutes pass. Try not to stretch this connection time as there are limits.

Wear something that is sexy yet appropriate for the hotel. I know this can be tough but arriving dressed as a stripper and waiting in the lobby for me escort you upstairs is not fun. Wear something that wets the appetite but in a subtle way. By all means wear something eye popping under as I love the "let me powder my nose" portion of the date as she returns from the bathroom looking just fab.

If you need to cancel please let me know with as much notice as possible. If you can provide a referral to another provider then all the better.

For outcalls perfume is not really an issue but if we meet via an incall go easy on any perfume that may get on my cloths. I find that perfume on the skin does not transfer to my cloths so spray your skin not blouse.

The same hoops I jump through towards hygiene should be followed but I don't expect you to swallow mouth wash like I did.

If she doesn?t feel 100% at the time of the date she should cancel. An honest explanation of why would likely result in a repeat visit from me. Simply plowing through and only giving lack luster service will result in a no repeat.

Providing Aeroplan air miles or club Z points. (Just kidding here)

I remember seeing a website a few years ago that allowed the gentlemen to plan the date from a list of pull down menus. Such options if memory serves me correctly included selections of outfits or costumes that could worn (by her), specific acts, how aggressive you wanted her etc.

I have had good and bad experiences in the past but a few little things a date or two has done that really stand out are.

One girl in Vancouver from Carman Fox's agency used to bring me a Maxum magazine each time she visited.

Inviting me into the shower at the end of the date was always nice. (I know some ladies may not be comfortable with this)

Bringing a warm damp face cloth plus a dry towel from the bathroom after the event is always nice.

I remember one girl telling me not to leave so fast as she had me for the full hour.

One woman used to email me after and ask what I liked the best and what would I like next time.

One Agency in Montreal calls after the date to make sure that I was happy.

One lady in Vancouver used to call an hour before and ask what I wanted her to wear.

Just my thoughts... I hope it helps.