Autism in the industry

[Guest lydiahardwood]

Hello everyone,

Sorry I've been a bit quiet lately. I've had lots of life things going on, but I'm back and have a really important topic I'd love to get your opinions on.

I recently found out that my nephew has autism, so I've been doing a lot of research around it and I have found out things that I'd never even considered before. For example, some autistic people struggle with analogies, innuendos or any language that "beats around the bush". They are often very direct and accidentally offend people because of that.

That then got me thinking about escorts ads and communication. We talk a lot about not using explicit language, not asking too many questions, including all info in the initial communication. Many ads use language where you have to "read between the lines". And I have been thinking how this might be different for an autistic Client or Provider.

I have very limited knowledge on this subject, so if you are autistic or have experience in this, please comment here and let me know what you think. I would also love to do an interview on this topic.

All my love,

Lydia ❤️ 

[Guest]

  I'm also not a specialist in regard to autism. But from what I understand, communications would only one of many barriers in regard to dealing with a provider.

  The biggest being the difficulty of social interactions with complete strangers. Not saying it would be impossible, but likely more plausible with someone they know and trust. And as for the interactions themselves, would likely be very specific.

  There obviously different level of autism and degrees of social awkwardness. But I suppose it would still require a dose of patience from a provider to communicate and provide any form of companionship to someone with that condition.

[Guest lydiahardwood]

1 minute ago, Greenteal said:

  I'm also not a specialist in regard to autism. But from what I understand, communications would only one of many barriers in regard to dealing with a provider.

  The biggest being the difficulty of social interactions with complete strangers. Not saying it would be impossible, but likely more plausible with someone they know and trust. And as for the interactions themselves, would likely be very specific.

  There obviously different level of autism and degrees of social awkwardness. But I suppose it would still require a dose of patience from a provider to communicate and provide any form of companionship to someone with that condition.

Absolutely. Apparently around 25% - 40% of autistic people are non verbal or don't speak much at all. Then you've got the physical touch preferences - I know many people are particular on where/how they like to be touched. I'd be interested in hearing a) how Providers handle this and b) how a Client would communicate this in advance. 

[Mikeyboy 27133]

Also not an expert in the field, although I have in a previous life worked with youth who were on the spectrum. There are so many different ways and degrees in which it can present itself that it is really hard to generalize. I've met some who would be considered high functioning (Asperger's) that it is really hard to tell. Generally though, a lack of being able to interpret what most of us consider obvious social cues is a very common trait. For example, the person may talk about something of interest to them to the point of borderline obsession, without even noticing that the other person in the "conversation" is not enjoying it and possibly even trying to exit. For the most part, the best way to interact with people on the spectrum is to be direct and specific about your expectations. Tell them the expectation outright and remind them if necessary. Don't hint at it as we are so used to doing. For example, tell them you've enjoyed hearing about this topic, but I would like to end the conversation now. It has been my experience that they prefer to know exactly what is expected of them. 

Again, these are some of my own personal experiences and generalizing is always impossible. This lack of subtlety would definitely make it difficult for many to participate in this industry in so many ways. That said, if an sp ever has a client who identifies themselves as being on the spectrum, my advice would be the same as above. Be specific about your expectations. For example, if the appointment time has ended and they are still talking away, don't be afraid to interrupt and politely tell them it is time to leave. Subtle suggestions or implications may not even be noticed. 

I would also be interested to hear as well if there are any sps or clients that are on the spectrum and what strategies they might use to navigate the industry and to overcome communication barriers.

[Guest lydiahardwood]

On 8/20/2021 at 5:28 PM, Mikeyboy said:

For the most part, the best way to interact with people on the spectrum is to be direct and specific about your expectations. Tell them the expectation outright and remind them if necessary. Don't hint at it as we are so used to doing. For example, tell them you've enjoyed hearing about this topic, but I would like to end the conversation now. It has been my experience that they prefer to know exactly what is expected of them. 

One of my best friends is autistic and he gave me this advice also, and asked me to butt in during group scenarios if he starts going off about something for too long. It's actually helped me become more assertive! I find his approach to things refreshing as hell, to be honest. I think learning to be direct is a good skill that we could all benefit from!

[Mikeyboy 27133]

4 hours ago, lydiahardwood said:

One of my best friends is autistic and he gave me this advice also, and asked me to butt in during group scenarios if he starts going off about something for too long. It's actually helped me become more assertive! I find his approach to things refreshing as hell, to be honest. I think learning to be direct is a good skill that we could all benefit from!

Absolutely.  Generally we Canadians are so polite that we rarely tell people directly what we are thinking.  We imply it,  but we rarely say it for fear of being percieved as rude.  That's particularly problematic for people on the spectrum,  although it also often leads to miscommunications and misunderstandings for us "neurotypicals" as well. We would all be better off if we could learn to be a bit more direct.  Politely of course 😉