Being a Trans Companion - Trixicen

[Guest lydiahardwood]

Hello and welcome to another interview with our stunning community. This time we got to hear from @Trixicen, a Companion new to Lyla with a unique and interesting story to tell. I certainly learnt a lot from her words, particularly different terminologies, and I hope this will be as insightful for you to read too. Comment below with your thoughts and questions!

Q: Hey Trixicen! It's great to have you as a new member of Lyla and I am excited to get to know you better. First of all, tell me about yourself.
A: I'm excited to be verified on Lyla, I've heard so many good things about this site. About myself, I'm kind of a huge nerd, I grew up on anime, live journal, and very early 4chan (it wasn't as bad back then I swear), I'm taking a BAH in school and I absolutely love learning. And I'm kind of an entertainer at heart, I've always been making some kind of film, even before I started making porn.
 
Q: Great to meet you! If you don’t mind me asking, how was your journey with your sexuality? When did you realise you were Trans?
A: This is a really interesting question and I like that you split it up. I realised I was transgender when I was 26, and it wasn't a fun experience, but I'm doing so much better than I've ever been now. My sexuality is heavily impacted by my gender identity, and I'm going to nerd out about that here for a moment, just to warn anyone who doesn't care for this stuff and wants to skip along to the next question.

I identify as Diamoric and Trixic above all else, which is where my internet handle comes from (TrixicEn), I identify as a non-binary woman and I'm going to just let everyone figure out what that means, but Diamoric is a non-binary sexual identity. It means I'm attracted to non-binary people and as a non-binary person (and can include binary attraction as well), and Trixic is a Diamoric subcategory that leans towards femme identities (and some people include cis-women). Being a non-binary trans person really complicates things because there's even less media exposure for us, and when there is it's often androgynous people who are lovely but only one possible expression out of infinite possibilities. 

My journey in these spaces hasn't been easy, not knowing yourself for 26 years is pretty rough but when you're trans you eventually realise that most people don't know themselves as deeply as most of us end up knowing ourselves. That's a blessing to me.
 
Q: Thank you for sharing that - I’ve learnt some new terms today. Did you have much support on your journey?
A: I found a lot of support, my mother was accepting of my gender right away even if she didn't understand it. But I've always been a problem solver and compared to many other trans people I know I feel like I've been very independent. I don't know if that's healthy lol, but it's me and I'm still going strong so that's results.
 
Q: You strike me as a very strong and powerful person. What advice would you give to someone who is Trans but struggling with their journey?
A: Empowerment is key, and you need to understand your position in the world to become empowered. Know where you don't have power and where you do and when it's appropriate to push for more power. Also, get some friends who understand that so you can get more power together. I surround myself with queer and trans people and other sex workers who understand this. For me I've been working with some peers in Montreal for a cross-industry project called SWIM (sex work industrial movement).
 
Q: Talk to me about your career so far. Did you dive straight into escorting or have you done other forms of sex work?
A: I started camming before I came out as trans, I was struggling with financial abuse and my sexual identity and it was a great way to make some money and explore what my sexual limits were. I was also dealing with undiagnosed ADHD so I found it difficult to maintain my business and ended up doing that work on and off for a long time, over the pandemic I finally started a serious camming/fansite effort.
A few years before the pandemic (I'm so bad with remembering time, thanks ADHD) I started doing full service, higher risk work after I came out as trans. I found it very difficult to get hired for jobs and I still do. I knew it wasn't like camming, but I was already doing camming, and as a trans girl model it's even harder to get a following than it is for cisgender men, we're a very specific niche to put it crudely, so full service work was a good option for me. 

Q: How do you advertise? Do you state you’re Trans on your bookings? Do you advertise on Trans only websites?
A: Up until recently I was only advertising on LeoList and twitter, I was able to connect with some other local workers and was directed to this board where I found VIP Favours from and now I'm focusing on that site and setting up a tryst account as well. My twitter is also still a primary place I advertise.

I actually don't know of any trans only sites, but if anyone wants to direct me to them please do! lol.
 
Q: Can you think of any unique challenges that Trans Companions may face?
A: Clients who don't understand gender or how hormones change a body. It's kind of interesting to have to navigate these things, I don't want to feel dysphoric while I'm working so I try to educate where I can and just ignore ignorant clients if I can. Not to mention most of the agencies who do exist won’t look at you twice if they know you're trans, even though they're missing out on an entire client base by discriminating against us.
There's a strip club in Montreal that allows trans dancers so I'm trying to learn pole so I can go tour out there sometime, but we're disproportionately pushed into full service and survival work because of these discriminatory practices in the industry. It's an issue I wish there was more solidarity from cis workers about, it's not a position we have a lot of power in.
 
Q: Do you experience much Transphobia or microaggressions? Can you give us some examples?
A: Trans people are very specifically fetishized in our industry so I kind of play into the transphobia where I feel comfortable doing so. But slurs are really common (though less and less so), Trap, Tranny and shemale are terms I don't use for myself but I get them from clients sometimes. They don't even know they're slurs most of the time so I just try to educate them.
 
Q: How do you deal with people who make Transphobic comments?
A: It's pretty easy to tell if someone's trying to be antagonistic or is just ignorant. I'll block bigots and try to educate people out of ignorance when I can. It really depends on the context for me even if the impact is pretty much the same.
 
Q: Can you give some examples of things people say that they may think are innocent, but are actually harmful?
A: I don't want to call out clients, lol. But in a more general sense, people assume a lot. They assume about our genitals when trans people may or may not have had GRS (gender reassignment surgery) or might have an intersex condition even. They assume about our experiences as trans people, we all experience very different lives despite all experiencing the same violence. I think assumptions and misinformation are at the root of most ignorance and harm. Pro tip, just having a curious mind and looking things up when you're not sure are really great ways to avoid being harmful.
 
Q: What are the most common questions you get asked when booking?
A: How big my junk is and if I top/bottom. I'm currently a non-op trans girl so asking about my junk in this way is fine but it is an assumption I'm sure other trans workers get all the time.

Also what my rates are, they're always on my listings and I will always refer back to my listings. This is a time waster red flag.
 
Q: What’s your Clientele like? Men? Women? Couples?
A: Men, I've never had a woman or couples as clients but I am open to providing service for anyone. I think women tend to feel the pressure of societies sexual moralising more than men, so women are less likely to seek out services (that's my assumption at least). It's too bad though cause that's a whole half of the market.
 
Q: How can brands, fellow SWs and platforms be better allies?
A: Help us advocate against industry discrimination, there are not enough of us to push these issues into the forefront. Like agencies that explicitly do not take on trans workers, or even websites (MFC is a particularly bad one) who either outright don't allow trans workers or deprioritize us in their listings making us have to work exponentially harder than cis workers to gain the followings we need to be successful.
 
Q: Thank you so much for your time. Is there anything else you’d like to add?
A: I'm very excited to be on this platform and I hope everyone's having a wonderful holiday season! I hope I can make the holidays wonderful for some clients this year!

 

[NotchJohnson 214129]

I love this interview @Trixicen, you are making things clearer to all of us.  Thanks also to @lydiahardwood for inviting her to the interview !

[Cheeky.char 460]

Really enjoyed this one!! Thanks!! 

[callmebig69 23]

Thank you for this great interview 😘

[Prufrock's Back 165]

Great interview Trixicen!  Eye opening, and I hope that some day the world can wake up with more tolerance.  It is slowly getting there as people open up and talk more about lgbtq2s+

 

[Guest]

Great interview. Thanks very much.