Im starting to hate this industry

[Zoedomino 33]

Greetings to you all! 🙂

 

From what I have read an SW/Provider needs to:

a- agree to have coffee with a total stranger (before a possible session) to prove her authenticity;

b- Has to have years of experience + references to prove that she is trustworthy;

c- needs to be on an expensive review board and has to have several reviews;

What about the honest newbies? Or the down-low ladies? What about those who can't afford a 600$ subscription on Merb/Terb/ etc.

 

I require a pre-session fee (that goes towards the first session) where we can assess each other's personalities and see if we are indeed a match or not. 

My website is highly descriptive in terms of my personality, looks, services, expectations, location, I even have an FAQ page. I built my website myself (with no prior experience) came up with my application form and screening process. It took me well over a year (while learning more about BDSM/kink/taboos/psychology/sexual paraphilias/etc..)

Took my pictures, wrote my texts in both english amd french, read the DSM-5, paid for my domains, bought my outfits, shoes, accessories, ring lights, photoshoots... and so on. Subscribed to a bunch of review boards, created social media pages, etc. I spent a over a year and well over a few hundred before putting myself out there. 

Do you think I did all of this to steal a 50$ deposit from people? the thought alone insults me.

Not all of us are asking for a deposit with the intention of stealing/defrauding. Some of us do so to ensure quality experiences and to avoid time-wasting.

 

I was scolded this morning for my pre-session requirements but (not to be mean) I do not care. Screening is an important part of the job. Some platforms (🦁-list for example) are making it harder for providers to have peace of mind while working. There used to be a Blacklist page on Hump**ies where SWs would report the most heinous and horrendous crimes done to them (getting robbed during an outcall but a strung out couple, getting ribs broken after getting assaulted in their hotel room, held at knifepoint...) Some girl even reported calling the police on a guy to which the police answered: ''it's not his first time doing this, he suffers from mental illness and does it quite often''. The frequency at which these events happen, I could not believe it. (And of course they are never reported because who gives a f@#% about SWs?) 

 

As I always say, patience is a sensual act which is why I'm never in a hurry. Take the time to learn more about your provider, maybe ask if they are open to a pre-session. My pre-session is at 50$ for 30 minutes (vocal)  -goes towards the first session- but it's a follow-up of my application form and I have constructed a questionnaire to make sure we're always on the same page. I feel like I've worked hard for the right to ask for a pre-session. 

Maybe ask your provider if they would be open to a quick pre-session (vocal or video) with or without a face (according to your and their level of comfort). Maybe arrange a fee that's reasonable to you both and take it from there.

Because if you think I'm going to make myself cute and pretty, do my hair and make up to make a good first impression,  take time out of my day to have a (free) coffee convo to reassure you that you are making the right decision by picking me... 😬😩 Not gonna happen!

Let's be realistic (and respectful) here.  Both customers and providers have the right to be picky and as @Kitten mentionned, there are lots of SWs that operate without deposits. 

 

Be safe out there! ♠️

 

www.zoedomino.com

 

[JessyCeleste 14078]

Ya... ever since C-36 passed I was terrified for new SWers. What I would recommend is meeting up with the most reputable SWers in the industry, have them vouch for you. Also, you dont need to pay terb/merb for guys to review you on there and certainly not to reco you on here. While you cant be asking for them to write one for you, many will only do so with your permission. So you can just mention that you are ok with them and these are invaluable. Any scammer can pay for an add on terb, it means nothing. But when an active member reviews or recommends you, its proof your are truly an SWer. Ive never paid for advertising, my gents do it for me.

IDK what city you are in, but many have an SW collective that does have a membership fee but its a suggested amount, you give what you can and if you cant, you dont. No questions asked. Many guys trust the collectives above all others. These collectives are a for us by us thing. TO, Mtl, Ottawa, Saskatoon all have them. Id be shocked if Vancouver didnt. Not only do they let folks know you are legit, they also advertise for you as we keep a website and then the collective pays for ads which leads the hobbyists to the site and your profile on there. You can find them on google by typing ---your city's name' independent companions' or '---your city's name--- indy companions'. And drop them a line. Networking is important for other reasons as well. If you are nervous about drama, i feel you, you can still network but not get personally or too socially involved. Many do.

IDK if you are bi or into doing duos but if you are, this is also a great way to get known in the industry as someone who is trusted. But most vets will be fine vouching for you once they get to know you a bit. Any one of my gents would definitely trust seeing someone new if I said I know her... its happened actually. I hope this helps! 

 

If you have any questions, feel free to text me.

Cant recall if my number is in my auto signature so i'll add it.

 

Yours in solidarity,

Jessy

xoxo xxx

438-274-3853

[JessyCeleste 14078]

On 2/23/2022 at 8:46 AM, Prince Clay said:

I request to meet first, always, for a coffee or tea in a public place. If the escort or domme refuses this, I assume they are a scam looking for an easy deposit. 

 

I have also been scammed in person by a horrible, monsterous woman in Toronto, but at least she was a real human who I actually got to meet lol

 

I'm trans, but also gender critical, and a kinkster too. I get denied service for all kinds of morally questionable reasons, but I get that it's all about preferance and comfort(the feeling is mutual). I understand that sex work is hard work, and also a form of exploitation(most work is), but I have never been so denied, decieved and betrayed as I have been among sex workers. It's extremely disappointing.

Hi Happy Saturday!

 

To each their own but there is no way in HELL I would ever meet in public, nor would most providers. This isnt tinder. We get a load of weirdos who are address collectors, let alone if we met in public for anyone and everyone to see what our face looks like, take a pic and either become a stalker, follow us or blackmail. Noooooo way! way too dangerous. Also, this is a biz, we dont have time to meet people and get assessed. Not to mention the legal implications. Under the law, we are to keep our biz behind closed doors at all times and I agree fully with this law. People have the right to eat their diner breakfast without JessyCeleste walking in for a potential client.

 

Your point that a horrible Torontonian still scammed u after meeting is my point entirely. Who was kept safe? No one. Who was put at extreme risk? Both of you and the patrons in public who had the right not to overhear such exchanges.

I also find it... several things... to assume someone is a scam in an industry for behaving in the exact way the industry works. You are deeming industry standard a sign of a scam? Here's what, most providers would block the number of someone asking to meet in public immediately. Major red flag. You may want to investigate an industry prior to deciding and spreading info on what is a sign of a scam or not. You'll find many laughing emojis, while I dont want to laugh, I hope you will see that as a sign that what you suggested is beyond unheard of in the industry. Most hobbyists would not want to do this. If you do, cool, but pls dont go around saying that women who have maintained great reps for a decade should be seen as a scam for not becoming the equivalent of a street walker for your comfort or whims on what the standard policy should be in our industry. Its insulting and dangerous hon. 

 

This suggestion goes from the SP asking for deposits to the hobbyist asking for one at a way higher value (time away) and personal risk instead of financial... hell financial too if i get stood up and then jumped on the way home. Ya... not happening lol And you shouldnt either, same reason! When I become a hobbyist (yup i wrote that.. i'll be old and nasty one day but still want pretty girls lol) I would way rather risk a 50 than personal safety and social exposure. Please for so many reasons readers DO NOT ATTEMPT OR ACCEPT TO DO THINGS THIS WAY! Worker or client!!!! On the contrary, most who request this are indeed a scam of some sort. With few exceptions relating to ignorance of how and why things work.

 

If someone is reputable, I dont ask for deposits. And for me, its a one time thing. Once we've been together, we are good.

I know it sucks to jump hoops guys. Man is it ever hard for y'all to find a new lady and for a new lady to start out. Sucks but whats the solutiion? 

 

Personally I think its this. Having a dialogue where we all say our POVs and try to find balance and once we have, stick with those who operate in the way we are comfy with.

 

I don't want to shoot anyone's post down but as a long time professional in this industry I would vehemently discourage meeting in public. Not only for the SWs sake but for your own. Blackmail works both ways. If someone ends up being a scam, you're still in trouble. Now they got your face and proof you were meeting an SW. Very dangerous idea in this industry. Fine on tinder or fetlife but for this, we are targets and so are you.

 

Be safe lovers! xoxo

And thanks for the compliments. Its my sincere pleasure to stop people getting scammed. Maybe I should start a youtube channel like the ones for call center scams but do it for SW scams. lol DEMONITIZED. Still, if only I had time, itd be so fun to expose them AND waste their time. If anyone wants to do this, feel free to take my idea with my compliments and blessing. Hate these sociopaths who make this industry more dangerous for all of us. 

One more good tip. For those who know good SWers, dont hesitate to ask if they know anyone.

 

Sometimes we know someone who doesnt advertise for various reasons and know them well enough to vouch for them to a person we value.

 

Kisses,

Jessy

 

PS To be clear. I have zero animosity toward my sisters who work the streets. Only love and compassion for their situation and a constant thought (and some small action)  on how to help. 

[JessyCeleste 14078]

On 3/22/2022 at 6:05 PM, Exotic Touch Danielle said:

 

Well said!

[Prince Clay 24]

TLDR.

Halifax is a small city. Meet me at a coffee place on Quinpool. Otherwise no deal. I live at Quingate place. I'm actually easy to please, but I'm patient and will happily wait for travelers. Send me a message if you're interested 

[MissArtois 102]

8 hours ago, Prince Clay said:

TLDR.

Halifax is a small city. Meet me at a coffee place on Quinpool. Otherwise no deal. I live at Quingate place. I'm actually easy to please, but I'm patient and will happily wait for travelers. Send me a message if you're interested 

Pardon me if I'm misreading this it's been a long day and I'm tuckered out; if I am reading this correctly, your comment is saying you expect an escort to take time out of their day, to go meet you for a coffee for you to "verify" them...totally uncompensated?🤨

[Andee of Burlington 28]

On 9/20/2022 at 1:47 PM, Prince Clay said:

TLDR.

Halifax is a small city. Meet me at a coffee place on Quinpool. Otherwise no deal. I live at Quingate place. I'm actually easy to please, but I'm patient and will happily wait for travelers. Send me a message if you're interested 

Seriously? Been in the biz for a long time And I would never agree to this. To ask a provider to do this is not only putting their safety in jeopardy but taking time away from their business for which they should be compensated.

[Prince Clay 24]

It's for both of our safety and in both of our best interest. No point in wasting time with a person you are repulsed by. A quick meeting for a coffee clears things up. I'm like a ...demisexual, but with everyone. All the time. Deal with it. 

 

Sorry to derail the thread. Bye now

[Guest]

35 minutes ago, Prince Clay said:

It's for both of our safety and in both of our best interest. No point in wasting time with a person you are repulsed by. A quick meeting for a coffee clears things up. 

     I don't want to burst your bubble. But even for arrangements, nobody doing a living on paid companionship will meet you for a coffee date unless some form of compensation is attached.

     There alternatives like meeting someone for a short session, massage, cuddling or else. And sticking to providers with a well-established reputation will avoid wasting your time.

[Bree Johnson 148]

I'm wondering what SPs do when someone smells badly?

 

I have started to screan more but as soon as I ask someone their age they usually don't answer. At first I would just cross.my fingers and know nothing about who was walking in the door. I realize someone who is afraid to give me an approximate age might speak to their readiness or paranoid tendencies perhaps

[adam4landry 245]

44 minutes ago, Bree Johnson said:

I'm wondering what SPs do when someone smells badly?

 

I have started to screan more but as soon as I ask someone their age they usually don't answer. At first I would just cross.my fingers and know nothing about who was walking in the door. I realize someone who is afraid to give me an approximate age might speak to their readiness or paranoid tendencies perhaps

Well it just a guess but I don’t want to offend anyone but the reason why they don’t tell there age is maybe because they might be worried how a sp would react on how old they are that what I think but like I said I don’t want to offend anyone.

[Guest]

49 minutes ago, Bree Johnson said:

I have started to screan more but as soon as I ask someone their age they usually don't answer. At first I would just cross.my fingers and know nothing about who was walking in the door. I realize someone who is afraid to give me an approximate age might speak to their readiness or paranoid tendencies perhaps

     I'm more the opposite. As I'm getting older, I prefer being honest about my age and be sure the lady will be fine with the age gap.

     As for the smell, a fresh shower, soap and deodorant should be a minimal requirement.

[MissArtois 102]

14 hours ago, Bree Johnson said:

I'm wondering what SPs do when someone smells badly?

 

I have started to screan more but as soon as I ask someone their age they usually don't answer. At first I would just cross.my fingers and know nothing about who was walking in the door. I realize someone who is afraid to give me an approximate age might speak to their readiness or paranoid tendencies perhaps

 

Some SPs will mention in their correspondence that a shower is available (most considerate clients if coming from a physically demanding/sweaty job will get out ahead of that and ask) and offer one with fresh towels and soap ready.

 

There's many too who will just insist every client shower on arrival, regardless of what time they last showered, to circumvent that whole issue. It can be challenging to assert oneself sometimes, but that gets easier with practice. 

 

And some might choose to stop the session if it cannot be tuned out, and insist someone shower. Or may leave it for the appointment, but if the client reaches out to book again, say something then. It's an awkward conversation and one I personally have very rarely needed to have. Sometimes the client is genuinely unaware, like they may have a diminished sense of smell or similar, and they are then appreciative of the information. 

 

Things like age, race and build are perfectly reasonable to ask. It doesn't mean discrimination- if you host out of a private apartment or hotel, it's rare to happen but the wrong person could knock on your door when you're expecting someone. It's a way to make sure the right person is at your door. I agree with you that if they're not willing to share such basic information, something's fishy. 

[Guest]

20 minutes ago, Prince Clay said:

DM if you're interested in beating me up! Ladies! 

 

Thanks!

  As you wish....

[DavidRobinson 7]

On 2/20/2022 at 5:34 AM, JessyCeleste said:

Hi,

I hear your frustration, I really do and I'm not about to preach or tell you off in anyway. Only empathy & some advice on how to verify & also how to be able to tell if she is consistently available.

I've had clients I really care about fall victim. I dont know what city you are in but there are other ways to verify SWs, it gets more difficult with younger ones because they won't have the years of good reviews & recommendations. But that is certainly one way. In terms of whether they tour or are actually local, their site & their recos can also help u. You can contact those who have seen or still see them & ask if they really are in town as much as they say they are. Another hint is often if rates work on a declining scale. This will give you an idea that she prefers longer appointments over many 1hr ones, which regardless of how long each appointment your preference is, it will give you an insight into the fact that she prefers seeing less people more often as opposed to quantity or having no preference one way or the other. The trouble is a lot of the SPs who are established, available regularly and have regular agents, dont need to and therefore dont advertise as much. Myself I'm only on lyla & Twitter & although I've been available in Ottawa every week pretty much since I started, if you look into my post history, my 'schedules & announcements' wont reflect that. I'm often already somewhat prebooked & know enough of my regs will contact me regardless if I'm advertising (because they know I do this). I would hate for someone new to constantly be trying to contact me when I'm busy and get declined and give up or think I "never reply" so I just dont advertise unless I think I'll have booking time to spare. I'm also only in lyla & twitter. I'm giving myself as an example but there are many like me. 

I'm truly sorry for all you have endured. It's really rough esp for someone just starting out, on both sides of the industry. I know you are experienced. Many SWers will accept reference alone. Another key with deposits is if she has her own incall vs renting a space. The reason deposits have become such a widespread thing is because during covid, after months of no income, SWs would get booked, specifically rent their space out (many apts are either just Air BnBs or another SPs incall) they are on the hook either way, they pay the sum & then the gent cancels sitting fear of covid. This was a pandemic on it's own. It didnt happen to me as I have my own incall plus until i was vaccinated i only offered Covid-Smart apts. But it happened to many and so deposits became standard. Scammers saw this and took advantage. Many arent even in canada. (I had a hacker I know trace one cuz I was so mad they got a reg of mine) He blamed himself as he booked off leolist with someone without reviews. So anyway, the fact that SPs who are legit and consistent end up not advertising much, is adding to your troubles. If you're in Ottawa & tell me your preferences, I can vouch for many & know a diverse group. Outside ottawa I cant help. Oh! Many cities have had regular/established ladies create their own network. OIC in Ottawa, IndyCompanions in Mtl, I know TO & even Saskatoon have their own. While not all members are in for the long hall you can tell who is. 

I really hope this helps you and I wish you the best of luck. C36 has fed this getting worse. The states are worse too. The more laws u add, the further underground it drives it and along come the sociopaths & exploiters! Our laws were fine as they were prior to C36. Alas, all we can do is call our local MPs and organize. Anyhow, I hop my advice helps & I really hope you find what you are looking for. It saddens me because I know theres an SP out there who would love a new reg. Even those of us with regs, they do sometimes leave us before we leave the industry so keep your eyes peeled for ads that may not appear all the time yet say things like "As usual I'll be available from (insert days of the week). " and "my incall is..." if she has an apt itll always have the same characteristics. Also look for recos where the same gent posts again or says "I've been seeing her for the last ___  years" 

When you go to their sites you can often tell if they tour. Myself I dont tour but I do always set a day or two aside when I'm visiting a city. So I mention TO but it's also clear that I dont go often and dont stay long. If you see far away cities listed as an constant, she tours. Also beyond OIC and such their are twitter accounts that will offer a list of who is active & whether they are local or tour. 

Finally, network with some of the other hobbyists in your area. Send them a msg and ask who is legit & if interested in a particular SW but cant tell if shes consistently available, contact one of the reco posters & ask them. They'll definitely know if she is around a lot & easy to book with.

 

Take care of yourself !

JessyCeleste

 

. 

Hi I just wanted to say thanks for this very thorough and helpful comment I appreciated it a lot I will definately look out for these things

[MissArtois 102]

Hi to clarify I posted a DM I got telling me "calm down babe" it was just bizarre...the sender of the DM mistook me for the person who posted the thread and chose the name of it. I don't think they really understand how a message board works. I was just bothered being told to "calm down" over something I never said in the first place lol. But after  consideration I removed the screenshot because though it was weird and inappropriate it was ultimately harmless.

[Prince Clay 24]

On 10/8/2022 at 5:45 AM, MissArtois said:

Hi to clarify I posted a DM I got telling me "calm down babe" it was just bizarre...the sender of the DM mistook me for the person who posted the thread and chose the name of it. I don't think they really understand how a message board works. I was just bothered being told to "calm down" over something I never said in the first place lol. But after  consideration I removed the screenshot because though it was weird and inappropriate it was ultimately harmless.

People are so catty here and take things very personally it seems, a lot like Twitter lol. I've received constant antagonism and censorship, as well as a couple angry DM's. People get jealous and can also be petty haters. Burna Boy X Vybz Kartel - Last Last (Remix) - YouTube

[Prince Clay 24]

1 minute ago, clearbluesky15 said:

Possible. You may want to consider that the way you talk to people can alienate them and bring out their worst selves. 

 

Either way, it's not my problem. Good luck.

[Guest]

37 minutes ago, Prince Clay said:

People are so catty here and take things very personally it seems, a lot like Twitter lol. I've received constant antagonism and censorship, as well as a couple angry DM's. People get jealous and can also be petty haters.

     There also a lot of abuse in the pm system. From spam, threats to uncomfortable conversations.

  If someone going to pm a provider, better keep it business related unless friendship is earned. And this applies both ways.

     Also, inappropriate pm's can be reported.

[Prince Clay 24]

On 10/8/2022 at 5:45 AM, MissArtois said:

Hi to clarify I posted a DM I got telling me "calm down babe" it was just bizarre...the sender of the DM mistook me for the person who posted the thread and chose the name of it. I don't think they really understand how a message board works. I was just bothered being told to "calm down" over something I never said in the first place lol. But after  consideration I removed the screenshot because though it was weird and inappropriate it was ultimately harmless.

People are so catty here and take things very personally it seems, a lot like Twitter lol. I've received constant antagonism and censorship, as well as a couple angry DM's. People get jealous and can also be petty haters. Burna Boy X Vybz Kartel - Last Last (Remix) - YouTube

[Prince Clay 24]

Here's something else I find amusing. I just like to share funny stuff I find on the internet. 

 

Hate is such a strong word, you know? But we all love this industry lets be real

 

 

[Prince Clay 24]

You assume too much, and incorrectly. I tried blocking you but it doesn't work. Don't @ me 

[Miss-chelly 38]

well despite all that run around BS, i dont expect any money till there is a face to face contact. but if they decide to leave for what ever reason ( which has only happened one or two times ) i just say wow really if your gonna waste my time give me 20 bucks or something and i have never had a issue with that. but most the time they see i am the girl on the profile and if they want to stay for how ever long and hang out then i expect money upfront. then things have always gone smoothly and i have always seen a client more than once, if not all the time. easy peasy.lol

[Miss-chelly 38]

On 2/20/2022 at 12:58 AM, Quietfun said:

I dont care if you have a different opinion.. i honestly am so sick and tired of the scams.. all you providers expect it like its just a simple request without ever acknowledging that clients are getting screwed over sending deposits.. i am just getting over trying to have faith in SP's .. trying to find a regular is a fucking nightmare fulm of scams and rude ass women

i completely agree, its also making girls like me who want to legit earn there money somewhat difficult, is bs

 

[CarmenSantana 31]

On 2/21/2022 at 12:38 PM, Phaedrus said:

A question for the OP: could you perhaps go about this differently? The fact that you've been scammed on deposits multiple times indicates that something's up. Scammers have always been out there, but not everyone gets scammed.

How do you go about choosing which SP to see? If you just go to LL (or wherever) when you're horny, and pick someone that the little head seems to like... well, getting some scammers is inevitable. The thing is, you have to do your research, and research takes time, and is best done when you're *not* looking for some action right now. As others have said here and elsewhere: look for a proper website. Do a reverse image search on the pics. Look for an established presence in the industry; whether that's an active and reasonably long-standing social media presence, or positive feedback from other clients. TBH the long-term presence alone is probably enough - it's all I really go on. Anyone pulling a scam simply won't last all that long before word gets around and they're forced to adopt yet another new identity, and so building up that long-term presence is almost impossible if you're just trying to make a quick buck from the next mark. I don't look at ads until I've *already* decided I might want to see someone and I'm at the point of looking at rates, screening requirements, contact methods, etc. That's what happens to work for me, and obviously YMMV... the point here is that a slower approach may serve you better than making a decision in a hurry.

As regards looking for a regular: I get that this is the end goal for you, but again, perhaps... slow down? Providers get many, many messages from people claiming they'll be the best regular ever, and pretty much all of those are from people running a scam of their own (usually that they want a discount, I suspect). Claiming you want to be a regular before you've even met might be a red flag for some providers.

Even on the first meeting, making it a regular thing probably isn't going to be on the agenda immediately. Think of it like a first date: do you actually *want* to see this provider regularly? No matter how well you might think you know someone from their online presence, the reality may be different. It happens, sometimes; I've met people in the past who I thought I'd get on well with, and... we just didn't really hit it off. That's not anybody's fault; it's just the way life goes, and you have to be prepared to simply accept that this time things didn't work out and it's time to pursue other opportunities.

Finally, I'm afraid there's one thing I really must push back on:

Hate to say it, but I think you're being unreasonable here. When you book a first appointment, you're booking that one appointment... and that's all. You met, and had fun, for the agreed length of time? You've got what you paid for. She owes you nothing more at this point. She said she's available for something regular? All that means is that she's happy for you to book again sometime; it is not a commitment to being available exactly when you demand it. The way to become a regular is simply to book again, and again, and again.... regularly. Telling her you intend to do that means very little; actually doing it is what counts.

Please remember that the vast majority of people claiming they'll be a regular are, as I said, blowing smoke. No sane provider is going to abandon a tour for someone she's only met once, and the reason she didn't tell you about it before you met was that it's none of your business. If you *really* don't want to meet someone who doesn't tour, it's up to you to check providers' schedules and pick someone who doesn't - and if you take a long-term approach to your research then you'll probably just figure this out without explicitly looking for it, because most providers who are touring will talk about it. And if you're seeing someone regularly and you want to have a say in whether she tours or not.... well, to me that sounds less like being a regular and more like a SD/SB kind of relationship, which is an entirely different ballgame. If you want to keep her at home then you'd best be prepared to pay - in advance - for the privilege, and even then she may not agree.

Hope all of that was of some use to you, or at least food for thought. Good luck!

 

👏🏼 👏🏼👏🏼