Advice with helping out an SP

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Prufrock's Back said:

psychopath seems a little over the top.  sociopath perhaps?

   Neither are flattering nor describe the type of people we want to associate and do business with.

The purpose of this board should be to humanize the industry, not spread fear and old preconceptions.

  

 

[fatboyNOTslim 66]

10 hours ago, Greenteal said:

   Neither are flattering nor describe the type of people we want to associate and do business with.

The purpose of this board should be to humanize the industry, not spread fear and old preconceptions.

 

 

Odds are you interact with psychopaths on a regular basis. There is no sense burying your head in the sand. The best way to protect yourself against psychopaths/sociopaths is to learn how to identify them and keep them out of your life. That's part of the reason I'll never get married; they can be very good at hiding their true nature until it's too late.

 

"According to Dutton, the ten careers with the highest proportion of psychopaths are:^[17]

1. CEO
2. Lawyer
3. Media (TV/radio)
4. Salesperson
5. Surgeon
6. Journalist
7. Police Officer
8. Clergy
9. Chef
10. Civil servant"

[Guest]

44 minutes ago, fatboyNOTslim said:

Odds are you interact with psychopaths on a regular basis. There is no sense burying your head in the sand. The best way to protect yourself against psychopaths/sociopaths is to learn how to identify them and keep them out of your life. That's part of the reason I'll never get married; they can be very good at hiding their true nature until it's too late.

   I get your point. But the purpose of this board is to improve communication and facilitate business relationships between clients and providers.

   As previously posted, I like to meet someone in a more casual context in order to see if that person will break character and open up on the true nature of their life and actual problems. The more you get someone to talk, the more easily you can read them. If she(or he) refuses to open up, there little to incentive to help them in a significant way.

   You can put everyone in the same basket if you want to. But you'll get nothing more than cold relationships.

[fatboyNOTslim 66]

There are too many crooks and cheats out there to take anybody's word at face value, until you've gotten to know them well enough to make a considered determination.

At any rate, if the OP gets satisfaction out of helping others and expects nothing in return (not even thanks or acknowledgement) then he should continue to do so if that's what makes him happy. Who knows, he might end up with enough good Karma at the end of his life to escape the cycle of reincarnation/damnation.

If, however, he expects something in return then he is simply setting himself up for more misery and frustration.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, fatboyNOTslim said:

There are too many crooks and cheats out there to take anybody's word at face value, until you've gotten to know them well enough to make a considered determination.

     I don't see anything healthy in living in that level of paranoia.

    We can be cautious without expecting the worst from humanity.

     We got plenty of tools for reliable screening, access to positive feedback and multiple sources of information to help us understand the industry and current laws.

     Focusing on the negative, only leads to an isolated existence.

[Prufrock's Back 165]

12 hours ago, fatboyNOTslim said:

 

Odds are you interact with psychopaths on a regular basis. There is no sense burying your head in the sand. The best way to protect yourself against psychopaths/sociopaths is to learn how to identify them and keep them out of your life. That's part of the reason I'll never get married; they can be very good at hiding their true nature until it's too late.

 

"According to Dutton, the ten careers with the highest proportion of psychopaths are:^[17]

1. CEO
2. Lawyer
3. Media (TV/radio)
4. Salesperson
5. Surgeon
6. Journalist
7. Police Officer
8. Clergy
9. Chef
10. Civil servant"

how can one interact with a psychopath on a "regular basis" when they make up less than 1% of the population?  

[JessyCeleste 14078]

On 8/22/2022 at 10:24 AM, Outdoorsman72 said:

 

Tell me all you SP ladies and MP ladies how does one continually do this and feel no shame at all...but yet I'm guilty also of never saying no...

So to the gentleman who started this post move on just another scam...many hobbiest tell me don't get caught up in there drama they all have it!

 

I would love to tell you how THEY do it but I cant. All of us cant answer for what the psychopaths and sociopaths among us do, just as with any group. I find it unfair to ask all SPs and MAs to answer for what few do... just as I find it reprehensibly unfair when women say "All you men" and then go on to describe a man yes, but one who happens to be devoid of empathy, compassion, guilt and remorse. 

 

I have never and will never ask for money I have not earned. And yes, Id advise to never offer money or favors esp to someone who has the simplest way of ghosting as its the nature of the biz. Some may even intend to make up for it but something happens, they are out of the biz and are callous enough to go 'oh well' of forget all together.  So yes, its the perfect way to scam if you are a scamster and sometimes people mean well but dont care and others are just opportunistic IE 'well he offered!' The truth is, if she is an SW, why is she even having financial issues, esp if she is around for a while. 

 

There's a great French-Canadian saying, "I once had a friend. I leant my friend money. I lost my money and my friend"

Helping support someone emotionally doesn't cost money. So yes, definitely avoid that. 

I was disgusted but unsurprised to hear how many gents gave $ during covid for a 'pre paid session' which never happened. (some did but for my pool, it wasn't the norm unfortunately)

I was offered such but I knew that when Id finally be able to work again, Id be wanting to make new money... how was I supposed to work off what I had accumulated over months or a year? Yes I had an unused incall to pay for. But I had to keep my head on, not just panic and accept without thought. So I refused to all but one person for 1 session. For everyone else, I thanked them, told them to wait and created my own porn site. You give. I give. Fair. I sold sexting.. I give. You give. Personally I don't see any reason to give an SW or anyone money they haven't earned. As such, I think one should be suspicious whenever it is asked or even accepted. 

 

It was a while ago so I may be wrong but as I remember this, I think it was more about moral support and general worry but turned into the topic of money. 

I just ask that we all remember that we are individuals. We are already a targeted, misunderstood, stigmatized, marginalized, at risk etc etc etc group. Like any group, we have our assholes. Like certain groups, it has aspects that predators on both sides can and do exploit. Solutions are found through discussion and understanding. Tarring all with the same brush only serves to harm. Words matter so I hope we can all choose ours carefully and not think in absolutes or extremes.

 

I'm so sorry to those of you who have fallen victim to POSs. I assure you, there are scams and victims on both sides. All we can do is expose them and exchange ideas on how to stay safe and intel on who is safe to trust with only the amount of trust necessary to make this happen... and be wary of anyone requesting or hinting more than that. 

 

Stay safe everyone! Remember, the unfeeling do not see us as good hearted, they see us a suckers. Guard your generosity jealously, if not for your own sake, for those who love you and deserve such. You only have so much time, money and energy to give. Anything lost in a scam is taken from someone who loves you and has always pulled through for you. You're better off reserving it for them so that if they do somehow need you, you're in a position to help. Don't gamble it on an unknown or semi-known. Viewing it this way has stopped me being taken advantage of. Its not enough for me to think of self-preservation. But if I think of self-preservation for the sake of my loved ones, it works EVERY time.

 

Hope this helps

Sending love to all! xoxo

[JessyCeleste 14078]

On 8/12/2022 at 8:52 AM, fatboyNOTslim said:

I can't speak for everybody, but I think most dudes are simply looking for drama-free intimacy in this hobby, so why invite problems into your life? I know a man who is miserable because he felt it was his duty to 'save' somebody, and he doesn't even get anything out of it (yet the bad boy on/off boyfriend certainly does lol).

I cant take credit for the following quote but i love it despite it having a total double entendre that can sound very misogynistic. So keep in mind I say this to good men I know...

 

ahem... "A real woman makes your cock hard, not your life"

 

I agree with what you are saying here. Although Im no mind reader, logic tells me people come to me for a vacation from reality, to relax, to let go, to just BE. Same like when I go for a spa day. We pay good money to go for a service in order to be pampered and spoiled. So thats what I try to provide myself. I impose the same work ethic I would with any job. I leave my baggage at the door. The beauty is, its a vacation for me too. I LET GO and for the hour or night, I think of nothing but pleasure, happiness, indulgence etc. By trying to provide a fantasy world, I end up in one. I know this isnt everyone's way. Some see it as phony, not real. Its totally real. I dont have to sadden you with the news that grampa has cancer and probably wont make it, or have you help me figure out my finances, in order to be real. I REALLY want us to relax and enjoy. lol Thats genuine! I want YOU to vent. You to unwind. You to feel refreshed and recharged. 

 

 To each their own. Some enjoy a girl who has no filter and wears her name on her sleeve and responds to his personal stories with those of her own. But its not what I offer. Its still reciprocal in terms of play, absolutely! But for talk, I do my best to always consider the gent and what he wants. He's paying me. If I want to air my stuff, I can call a friend or go see an RMT or therapist. I'll pay and they can leave their baggage at the door and concentrate on making comfy to vent or wtvr. Idk its how I see it but luckily there are all types for all types of experiences sought. Id hate to feel someone left more stressed or now worrying about my crap. So on many levels, its just not me. I've been asked by long-time gents, 'No but how are you REALLY? u always say 'Great and grateful. I want the real you." and I have to explain a) I truly am great and grateful b) explaining what I do here and why c) use sexuality to show him he doesn't actually care to dig on how Im doing I said I was fine I am and now thoughts have ended because her mouth is....

hahaha it works!

The one thing I do have a hard time with is biting my tongue when someone speaks misinformation. esp if I care for them because I see it as personally betraying them if I dont speak up and try to save them from nonsense. Its cost me. I should likely just shut up but my conscience won't let me. So I suggest to agree to disagree and... see above. 😁 But I never lean or burden, that comes easy as Im not even thinking of life outside the pleasure bubble I create and dont want to.

Which brings me to the beauty of this site. By reading recos, you hear what aspects the hobbyist enjoyed most, which then attracts that same type of hobbyist to the type of girl he seeks, bringing her the type of clientele she seeks. 

 

Ya... i don't get the inviting problems thing. But people are drawn to different things for different reasons. I find life complex enough so I try to keep things simple and enjoyable. I'm also someone who has no need to vent and I'm exceedingly private... so there IS that too I suppose lol

 

Prior to the Spanish Inquisition coming to twitter, I used to have a running gag of #Boobies When people would argue, it was my peace-maker. 

 

 

 

worked, didn't it?