Speaking up my mind!

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Ok here I go. I know some will not agree with this but it has been in my mind for a while now and I just have to get it out! I know in cerb as long as nothing negative is said there is freedom of speech so by no means this is an attempt from me to stop this but just me showing another side of the coin, a woman's perspective and boy that can be complicated so get ready guys.

For months I have been reading or sometimes just seeing in the main index all the 'best whatever' threads and I often think 'The best according to who?' obviously according to whoever posted it but my point is in order to know what or who the best is you would have to try them all right? In my dictionary the best is very relative as we all have different tastes which means definition of best varies from one person to another and what is best for me may very likely not be for someone else. I have a point I promise.

I know us ladies on cerb are confident enough not to let this 'best' threads bother us as we are aware of the fact that each of us is a different individual with characteristics and skills that make us all unique but I still find naming someone the best kind of shallow. Yes, of course us ladies feel flattered with the compliments we receive but I think this can be left in the picture comments and recommendations area. I know this may and very likely will not change anything or stop you guys from posting on those threads but that's not my goal anyway but you understanding a litle more the way we or at least I feel.

In the end as much as as I said these 'best' threads have been in my mind for a while it was actually a comment in a recommendation I read yesterday that made me write this and I know the guy who wrote it meant nothing else but complementing the lady he was talking about but I found it a little too extreme so I'll quote him ' she is the way all women should be' seriously?? I may be overreacting but find this comment kind of extreme. The fact that to him this lady is what he was looking for in an escort or/and a great experience for him does not mean us other women should be like her. Am I taking this too literally? Possibly but still needed to get it out.

Thanks to those who read this!!

xoxo

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Isabella,

 

A lot of ladies feel the same way, but the guys do what they want to do. I posted here:

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=36167

 

Megan

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

Nice thread Isabella!

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Isa, I have no problem with your thread and it is a good reminder for all of us. I don't think I've posted in the 'best of' threads but I'll admit that I've gone there to see a picture. Granted it is one person's opinion but it does draw me. At the same time I can put that 1 picture or comment in context and know for me it likely isn't the 'best', or at least not 'my best'. I'm pretty sure the comment above wasn't intended to harm but when we suggest how others should look/behave it can sound hard and in particular if it isn't something easily changed.

 

I'm not sure I would suggest the 'best of' threads need to be modified/removed (and don't think you are either) but your insight is a great reminder for all of us.

 

Cub

Posted via Mobile Device

[renegade 11027]

sub·jec·tive (sb-jktv)

adj. 1. a. Proceeding from or taking place in a person's mind rather than the external world: a subjective decision.

b. Particular to a given person; personal: subjective experience.

 

2. Moodily introspective.

3. Existing only in the mind; illusory.

4. Psychology Existing only within the experiencer's mind.

5. Medicine Of, relating to, or designating a symptom or condition perceived by the patient and not by the examiner.

6. Expressing or bringing into prominence the individuality of the artist or author.

7. Grammar Relating to or being the nominative case.

8. Relating to the real nature of something; essential.

 

we all all subject to being subjective at times rightly or wrongly chuckle chuckle

[penismightier 100]

To get rid of the subjectivity, maybe the 'best whatever' areas need to be in the form of a poll or a set series of questions where people 'vote' .. that way the words used are not construed in a negative way ... just a thought

[twoblues 258]

The Internet requires a much thicker skin than many are used to having.

 

It's very easy to lash out/post one's opinions that many do not think of the consequence.

 

You must remember that there are also many out there who use the Internet as a forum for spouting stuff they would never do in person or in public.

 

The best advice is to let it just flow right off you and don't fall into the trap of confrontation because rarely does the one "in the right" ever come across much better than the person who said/did the harmful thing.

[Jabba 18389]

Good forum discussion.

I personally never pay too much heed to "best of" threads. Actually, I'm not really certain I know which threads to which you refer.

 

I hear that you are bugged. People will post what they post. I don't always agree with everything that's posted here either.

 

Question is, what can you do about it?

Do you have a solution or a proposal for this forum...or are you just simply venting?

[roamingguy 300292]

I'm with you Isabella. Personally I look at the best of threads as publicly objectifying the ladies. Every encounter I have had has been unique and special, not a case of one lady better than another, and each lady is unique and special, not one better than another

RG

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I don't know if these "Best of Threads" are objectifying women and since they are posted in the general discussion area, I read what I want and ignore the rest. Do I find certain posts annoying? Of course but I can choose to read it or ignore it. I don't think these threads should be taken too seriously. I also don't think men here expect us to look like these women because most of these pictures are a) photoshopped b) damn good lighting & airbrushing.

 

I've had so many other things consume me in my life that I don't get caught up in the trivial things in life anymore. Do I really do I give a flying fig about what one guy is looking for in a woman? Absolutely not. If we start being too politically correct about everything and start censoring our thoughts, there is no point in contributing on this board. Let the person who starts the "Best of Threads" fantasize and dream because maybe it's all he's got or it feeds his ego when he writes recos on how women should be. No offense to whoever this is.

 

Beauty is subjective and people are going to have their different standards on what they want a woman to look like. At the end of the day, I'm not going to cry on my pillow because someone is objectifying women. I've accepted this as a part of reality and the business I'm in and know that I don't have to or need to conform to what one person wants me to be.

[Guest gagagaga]

i think you may be taking all of this too literally. I for instance recently started a "sexiest female athlete's" ( I am choosing this one because i doesn't refer to anyone we all know).

 

Because I think the female beach volleyballers are the hottest doesn't mean I don't also enjoy the other female athletes listed.

 

I also looooove chocolate ice cream. saying this does not in any way even imply that I do not like other flavors and clearly does not mean I hate or look down upon other flavors.

 

If these threads are bothering you, maybe there is a reason within yourself that you could explore. The "hottest" threads are not meant to demean, belittle, or degrade anyone. And finally, on a website where men are encouraged to give their opinions on the sexual talents/services of women, it seems to me that saying "I think ______'s ass is great" seems rather fitting.

 

my two cents....

 

p.s. I do empathise with you though...it is never fun to have bad feelings.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

None of those actually I will not suggest a solution to this as like I stated in my post I am aware of as long as if done respectfully there is freedom of speech here. The ideal for me? As I also mentioned in my post is to leave those comments to the recomendations and pictures comments but by no means I'm saying those threads are right or wrong as those terms (with some exceptions of course) are relative too. I'm just saying how I feel about them.

 

Good forum discussion.

Question is, what can you do about it?

Do you have a solution or a proposal for this forum...or are you just simply venting?

 

I don't entirely agree with this. I have no doubt that ladies mentioned in those threads are truly beautiful and my issue is not the threads existing but to have some classify certain characteristics from those women as the best.

a) photoshopped b) damn good lighting & airbrushing .

 

I agree and that's why tried to make clear (looks like I did not succeed) that I was not asking peoe who post there to stop but giving my POV.

 

If we start being too politically correct about everything and start censoring our thoughts, there is no point in contributing on this board.

 

 

This is also something I mentioned in my first post,that 'the best' of whatever is very relative and I too mention that most of us ladies on cerb are confident enough to not let this bother us in a personal way so I think none of us is 'crying' because of those threads.

 

Also, I don't think the message from guys who post in those threads is them wanting all ladies to look like the ones in the pics but I may be wrong.

 

Beauty is subjective and people are going to have their different standards on what they want a woman to look like. At the end of the day, I'm not going to cry on my pillow because someone is objectifying women. I've accepted this as a part of reality and the business I'm in and know that I don't have to or need to conform to what one person wants me to be.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

None of those actually I will not suggest a solution to this as like I stated in my post I am aware of as long as if done respectfully there is freedom of speech here. The ideal for me? As I also mentioned in my post is to leave those comments to the recomendations and pictures comments but by no means I'm saying those threads are right or wrong as those terms (with some exceptions of course) are relative too. I'm just saying how I feel about them.

 

 

 

I don't entirely agree with this. I have no doubt that ladies mentioned in those threads are truly beautiful and my issue is not the threads existing but to have some classify certain characteristics from those women as the best.

 

 

I agree and that's why tried to make clear (looks like I did not succeed) that I was not asking peoe who post there to stop but giving my POV.

 

 

 

 

This is also something I mentioned in my first post,that 'the best' of whatever is very relative and I too mention that most of us ladies on cerb are confident enough to not let this bother us in a personal way so I think none of us is 'crying' because of those threads.

 

Also, I don't think the message from guys who post in those threads is them wanting all ladies to look like the ones in the pics but I may be wrong.

 

The way I see it is everyone is entitled to their opinion including posting these best of threads. Do I necessarily like them? No but I choose not to bother with them. Men by nature are visual creatures just like when they look at the Sunshine Girl everyday in the newspaper.

 

Secondly, I can understand why those comments in the reco were bothersome and that this could be construed as objectifying women but I wouldn't take it so seriously. The guy was probably on a natural high after his encounter with this woman and those were his feelings at the time. Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying I'm for or against someone saying these sorts of things but it's his opinion and who am I to argue with that? Personally I wouldn't care because you can't necessarily control what people are going to say on an internet forum. Maybe it's just me but I have learned to let these things roll off my back. Respectfully, this is just my opinion just as you are entitled to yours.

[Annessa 22743]

To get rid of the subjectivity, maybe the 'best whatever' areas need to be in the form of a poll or a set series of questions where people 'vote' .. that way the words used are not construed in a negative way ... just a thought

 

I think this may only increase the issue.....we should not have to be graded by votes beside our fellow SPs who are of all shapes and sizes.....all the ladies here on cerb are a great selection of different and unique ladies......casting a vote or poll to determine "bests" would be rather pointless IMO.

 

sidenote: I respect Isabella for her bravery in starting this thread....as I know it has been an issue that many of us ladies have squirmed about in the past. It takes guts to be the first to bring into public view an issue that some gents may not consider, that being said, I dont think anyone should be giving Isabella grief for being honest.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I think the threads are great and a long established feature of CERB. I think we've discussed this in the past and ladies that don't want to participate in them or have their pics posted there are free to say so (ie I think permission is required?). No one has to view these threads, as well many of the ladies featured in these threads are not even SP's on CERB, some are celebrities models etc.

[Miss Scarlett 25073]

No the guys do not "need" our permission, and I think in most cases most don't even ask for permission. I for one ignore them. I do not participate in them. I think the guys should ask permission before posting a ladies picture to see if she is ok with being in the thread. I think that is also another reason why it bothers some.

 

Also when the "best bums" started it showed all kinds of women, big, small, round, flat. Now it seems to be all one sided. This is also the reason I will not participate in RHAG! I AM A REAL RED HEAD! Not a brunette, not a blonde, I am a red head which is what the group was supposed to be about! Just my opinion!

 

I think the threads are great and a long established feature of CERB. I think we've discussed this in the past and ladies that don't want to participate in them or have their pics posted there are free to say so (ie I think permission is required?). No one has to view these threads, as well many of the ladies featured in these threads are not even SP's on CERB, some are celebrities models etc.

[Cato 160314]

I think the threads are great and a long established feature of CERB. I think we've discussed this in the past and ladies that don't want to participate in them or have their pics posted there are free to say so (ie I think permission is required?). No one has to view these threads, as well many of the ladies featured in these threads are not even SP's on CERB, some are celebrities models etc.

 

Well said, Scott!

Playfulness is the key.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Well said, Scott!

Playfulness is the key.

 

Well when you start a "best of the BBW's" thread, maybe I'll believe the playfulness. As I've said to you in the past, those threads are objectifying and only show one type of woman.

 

Like Nicolette, I no longer bother to read them.

 

While they are not meant to be demeaning, it can be rather demeaning to see picture upon picture of women who are most definitely not like me. Luckily I have reached a place where I am confident in myself and comfortable with my body. But others may not be.

[toine 30556]

With all due respect to Isabella, I have two thoughts to share.

First, the best of... is a strange concept.

is certainly the best in a sport with rather stark, objective measurement. Is he the best athlete? Many would disagree. For example, Messi is blessed with a god-like gift, but some do prefer

...

Second, back to CERB : an image is worth a 1000 words, but a 1000 words aren't enough to describe a sensual encounter with another human being, so pics are what they are, somebody's take on the 1000 words thing, and coming short to describing time spent together.

On a personal note, I have been told that 'junior' is the cutest little thing... but have never been told yet that I provided the best encounter, yet I am still trying and enjoying each minute of it!

[Suzirider 737]

Thread title suggestions;

"Best Guns, Gunz ...."

"Best Six Pack..."

Or " Who is Your Fave of the Handsome Mens Club ?"

[Guest gagagaga]

I think I was unclear in my comment about "bad feelings". I was in no way suggesting that you (Isabella) had bad feelings towards those who created the posts in questions. What I meant was that the fact that you felt compelled to start this thread indicated that the concept of this type of thread disturbed you or caused you to feel something negative. I was just trying to say that I am sorry that you had these feelings. sorry if I am/was wrong.

[Daniel17 3616]

I don't really know if it's my place to give my two cents, but I'll drop my two cents anyways....

 

First off, I respect both sides of the coin. This post isn't meant to state that either side is wrong or right, I'm just giving my opinion.

 

I'm not going to lie and say guys only care solely about things like personality, because that's probably not true. Most men are visual creatures and are attracted to certain physical characteristics. Now, I'm not saying each guy is attracted to the same thing, because that's just not true. Just because one guy likes apples and another guy likes oranges, doesn't mean either is wrong, in fact each guy is right.

 

At first to be honest, I didn't think there wasn't a problem with a "Best of Threads". This thread though gave me insight on the other side of the coin. And after seeing it from another persons perspective, I agree that these types of threads aren't the best thing for this community as a whole.

 

Let's say you are infatuated with an escort, we shall call her J-Lo. If you want to let the CERB world know why you think she is great, write a reco for her. That does two things

 

1) It lets you express to the CERB world what attracts you to J-Lo.

2) Writing a reco doesn't compare her to the other SP's.

 

Now think about if instead of writing a reco, you write a "Best of What an SP Should Look Like" Thread.

 

Yes it does let you express to CERB what attracts you to an SP. But then at the same time you are...

 

1) By saying it's the BEST, any girl who isn't athletic, tanned, or has a butt like J-Lo might feel insecure now. It likely won't faze all girls (most of the girls on CERB are tough like chocolate chip cookies from Starbucks, not weak like Tim Horton's tea biscuits), but indirectly some MIGHT feel less confident, less appreciated, less attractive, or just not up to par.

 

2) Setting a standard that is almost impossible to attain. Think about a lady who is thinking about maybe becoming an escort and lurks thru the forums. Reading these types of thread might have a negative impact on her decision. She might think she is not good enough and decide escorting isn't for her. So you might even have a negative impact on the market.

 

Now, to combat the rebuttal, "If you don't like it, don't read it". Yes, theoretically that makes sense. But let's be realistic people. These threads are like watching an eclipse. You know you aren't suppose to look at the sun when it's going on, but don't you take a peak anyways? (maybe that's why I enjoy colouring so much). Why do you think Christopher Columbus searched for new land, why did we send Neil Armstrong to the moon, and why did Lebron James take his talents to South Beach? Humans are just curious people, we're always poking our nose where we know we shouldn't look.

 

Think about it guys, how would we like it if the SP's created a thread like...

 

"Who has the best abs?"

"Which client has the biggest, thickest, most bad-ass mother f*cking d*ck?"

"Which client is like Super Mario and has the best pipes?"

"Which client sings like Justin Bieber?"

 

I think we can all agree if these threads existed, yes we would hate, but it's likely we probably would lurk in them. We would have this false hope that we might be mentioned, and then when we lurk & find out we aren't.... let's be honest, at least to me, I would feel like poo. Yes, dirty, stanky poo. That's not a good feeling gents. I might even feel less willing to now visit an SP, because I'm now not fitting her standards, because she's receiving so much better from other clients.

 

Guys you are free to post what you want, and say what you like in a lady, I just think there's a time & a place for it, and I don't think these "Best of Threads" are the place for it. I know you guys are all good, honest, caring people and it isn't your intention to hurt these ladies, but these threads can indirectly be demeaning to the lovely ladies of CERB.

 

An example of this is like the numerous magazines you might see in the grocery store. These magazine editors might think they are doing great things letting the world know how hot Aylssa Milano, Angelina Jolie, or the list goes on is. But at the same time, I can only imagine the poor thoughts running thru the little teenage girl who walks past the magazine stand and negative thoughts that might scatter into her head thinking things like she isn't thin enough, or not big enough boobs, or stupid superficial shit like that. Now, I'm sure the magazine editor doesn't have the intention of harming these poor teenage girls, but he/she is indirectly doing that. But at least the magazine editor has an excuse (not a good excuse, but an excuse, lol), it is their job, and they make money of it.

 

Now think about that guys next time you post these types of threads. You are indirectly doing a lot of harm, and to be honest, if you aren't a magazine editor, what are you really standing to gain by doing these types of threads?

 

Lastly, this post wasn't meant to attack anybody. I just wanted to give my two cents. The ladies of CERB are strong, wonderful, great ladies, I just think we should stop trying to break them down like car parts. Any lady will have flaws if you break them down a million times. But if you just stop in the moment, take a full step back, I think you will be left speechless, because each lady in her own right is absolutely beautiful when all the puzzle pieces are put together as one...

[Guest J******aA***l]

The Internet requires a much thicker skin than many are used to having.

 

It's very easy to lash out/post one's opinions that many do not think of the consequence.

 

You must remember that there are also many out there who use the Internet as a forum for spouting stuff they would never do in person or in public.

 

The best advice is to let it just flow right off you and don't fall into the trap of confrontation because rarely does the one "in the right" ever come across much better than the person who said/did the harmful thing.

 

couldn't have said this better

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I think the threads are great and a long established feature of CERB. I think we've discussed this in the past and ladies that don't want to participate in them or have their pics posted there are free to say so (ie I think permission is required?). No one has to view these threads, as well many of the ladies featured in these threads are not even SP's on CERB, some are celebrities models etc.

 

Well said Scott. I never saw this thread until now but you said it for all of us. Well done (can't give you anymore rep points). This way no ones freedom to write his/her mind and freedom to choose to view or ignore is violated.

 

Best features (as in my recommendations) don't have to be only physical but they could be best of personalities, best of hygiene,friendliness, best of services, best GFE, best encounters as well as physical like best eyes, hair, legs .....and everybody knows they are very subjective.

 

Additional Comments:

Shortcake, I have NEVER posted a single picture in the best of threads so I never needed anyone's permission (my very first post was today where I quoted a lovely picture of Carmen already posted) so I can't understand the negative rep!!!!!!!!!! but that's okay (I agreed with Scott's post where he also said permission is needed and I agreed). Just wished to make sure I am not misunderstood.

 

It is my uderstanding that pictures were taken from the albums put by the lady herself. And it was (re) posted within the very same board was it not? So,the question is whether permission is needed to post in the thread something that IS ALREADY posted by the lady herself in the board within the same board?. I am with Scott on this. I think if I wish to post a picture I would send a brief note asking lady's approval though I would be very surprised if permission is denied lol!!!.

 

 

Additional info:

 

Your comment is incorrect. New information reveals that Permission was granted by the person in the picture ever since last year when we all agreed upon that.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

This is good, good start...

I am pleased that Cerbites have the freedom to post and comment on best of bests, and so glad that we have them. It has been said countless times how a woman is never judged by looks alone and that the clients prefer the complete package. The complete package may not be an A++ "spinner type" to them, it's what makes the girl and body is so not important to a faithful returning client. Trying to stay humble here but I gotta say that the ladies in the industry are very beautiful, one way or another and that's how one makes a successful adult career, that and word of mouth- deserved recongnition and Cerb is the place to do it!

I gotta give recognition here to a fellow Cerbite, Cowboy Kenny that personally goes out of his way to do right and protect his fellow man(Cerbian), to make sure that the poor service/rip off's are eliminated or/and reported. And also to all of the Clients that come forward and participate in a forum discussion about who is the best of the best, so that newbies and the rest that haven't tried the best may do so, a guaranteed good-one.

When I post a picture here, it no longer belongs to me. It belongs here, for everyone to see if they choose and do as they please. My pictures however are pretty darn amateurish and I don't expect to be seen in a best of threads.

What a compliment it must be to be the best! Thanks guys! You always make our day!