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The donation delima

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This is an issue that has been discussed before but mostly from the SP's point of view (http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=41215)

 

First off, an asshole is an asshole no matter there gender, race or creed.

 

My peeve is that as a hobbyist by giving the donation up front I open my self to be ripped off and leaving the donation for the end opens the SP to be ripped off.

 

Would showing the donation at the beginning but transfer the donation at the end would be a acceptable compromise ?

 

What are your thoughts ?

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I will let the guys answer this one but if you intially do your homework and find an SP who is reputable and prides herself on providing a good service then giving the fee upfront will never be an issue. You get what you pay for.

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Your worrying over nothing. What I do is pay the donation up front, in a gift bag, along with a gift (outcalls to my hotel) or in an envelope (for incalls) At the end of the encounter a tip is given

Normal protocol is pay up front. Don't leave the lady wondering if she is going to get paid...actually you'll likely find the lady leaving if not paid up front.

I'm saying this from the guy's point of view. I've participated in this lifestyle since July 2010, that's the way I've done it, and that's the proper etiquette of doing it.

RG

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Don't be paranoid. If you've been in the hobby for a long time you've probably been burned, just chalk it up to experience and move on. By being careful and doing your research you've unlikely to get into a situation where it really matters.

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I will let the guys answer this one but if you intially do your homework and find an SP who is reputable and prides herself on providing a good service then giving the fee upfront will never be an issue. You get what you pay for.

 

Exactly what I was going to say.

 

Also, paranoid clients freak me out - so if someone feels like there's a reason they shouldn't pay me up front, it makes me think there is something wrong - so I may ask you to leave and save you the hassle of paying at all.

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Guest W***ledi*Time

Proper protocol is to pay up front. Even if you're not asked. Do anything different, and you're shooting yourself in the foot. Either you'll be shown the door pronto, or at the very least, the lady may be distracted by doubts throughout the session - when you want her full attention on having fun with you. There's really no upside in messing with a tried-and-true formula.

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I have to say that there is no reason for anyone to feel that they should not pay up front. For most of us, we check out the lady ahead of time, and should be comfortable with the lady. This in itself should be sufficient to alievate any potential concern.

 

If the service is what you are talking about in terms of getting ripped off, if you create an atmosphere that may make things a little tense, you may very well get a service that is less than you were expecting. So, put your money in an envelope and pay up front and enjoy the encounter.

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I'm not paranoid, rather inquisitive as I have read that is has been an issue for both sides. I did get burned my self, but as in the post I referred to I truly believe that want goes around comes around. So I don't worry to much about these things. There was some very interesting comments though I like the views brought up so far.

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I would never ask a girl if I could give her the money at the end because....

 

1) I just think it's bad etiquette

2) The lady won't be as focused now to do her "thing", as in the back of her mind, she probably will think she is going to get ripped off.

3)..... um awkward!!!

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I'm not paranoid, rather inquisitive as I have read that is has been an issue for both sides. I did get burned my self, but as in the post I referred to I truly believe that want goes around comes around. So I don't worry to much about these things. There was some very interesting comments though I like the views brought up so far.

 

I ask for the donation up front and I have never ripped off a client. But when I was first in the business, I fell for that old "showing me the money up front, and promising to pay" and then either not paying me or shorting me. Anyone who wants to do that, I would refuse to see. So that wouldn't work for me. I do have a few regular clients who I know would be "good for it" at the end, but my practice of taking care of business up front, prevents me or him from forgetting it. I like to stick to a routine that has worked for me for over 10 years.

 

I think Nicki and Cleo echo my sentiments. Anyone SP worth her reputation wouldn't rip you off. Not sure who exactly you have gone to see, but if any ladies on cerb pulled a stunt like that, they would be quickly found out.

 

To the OP, trust what the guys (and gals) are telling you here.

Edited by Mature Angela
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Guest 9**A*****

I usually put the donation inside a card and then place it in the gift bag for her. This past winter, for whatever reason, I put the card in my jacket pocket and not in the gift bag. 20 minutes into our date I realized my mistake, right in the middle of a kiss, I jumped up and ran to her closet to fish it out of my jacket. I felt terrible. It hasn't happened since, but I've told her that I would never feel badly to "swat me upside the head" if I ever forget the card in the first two minutes!

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This all involves trust, and I am so pleased to say that I have never had an issue with this aspect of encounters.

 

Email communication prior to meeting and having a look at forum entries is a great way to get a feel for a person.

 

I am pretty confident that this works BOTH ways!

 

I am now moving towards the use of interact email fund transfer well before we even meet, and that for me adds another positive aspect to an encounter - that "the envelope" not be forgotten, lost or otherwise cause problems.

 

The ladies take pride in what they do. You get out of this what you put into it, and maybe more so.

 

Enjoy Cerb ladies and relax with them.

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I agree that ladies must be paid upfront as their loss will be bigger if some scums don't want to pay at the end of the session. In my hobbying since last 10 years, there have been only two instances when my donation parted me without getting any service.

 

It happened when I was learning to test the waters no knowledge of the review boards, I was just a young blood over confident. First time it was in Seattle, called a model looking lady from her indie website and she after collecting the donation told me that she only offers massage where as her website was clear about escorting - can't do much. Second and last time happened in Montreal when in my hotel room I was semi drunk and called in a lady. When she came in, she collected the donation and told me that she will handover this to her driver and come back.....I am still waiting :) Second instance was fully my fault as I should have been sober enough.

 

Since then I don't drink (never more than 1 beer) and choose ladies mostly from review boards and had no issues and with lovely French ladies my experiences are getting better. May be it is that with experience I have learnt to make lady comfortable and then a friendly encounter is ensured.

 

Now if you tell the lady, you will pay after, most likely she will kick you out and in any case the friendliness will disappear for sure..

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I've never felt weird or had any difficulty taking care of business as soon as we meet. I prefer to get it out of the way and then we can focus on each other. I've never been 'ripped' off. But then again I almost only ever see respectful and reliable CERB ladies. I did have the one time, seeing a regular, I absolutely forgot. I had everything in an envelope just somehow got distracted. Hmm? She had to ask for it at the end and I was (and still am) so embarrassed. Thankfully we have a good relationship so no damage.

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First thing....always. In an envelope, I don't hand it to her, I show where I put it and just leave it at that.

 

Peace

MG

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First thing....always. In an envelope, I don't hand it to her, I show where I put it and just leave it at that.

 

Quite. And then go to the bathroom for a moment or something like that, so the lady has a moment to check that it's OK if she wants to.

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Usually for massage it's at the end unless specified: this is convenient since the options you take will change the price (and you don't have to pay twice).

For escorts, it's usually upfront, unless you know the girl and she trusts you enough and really doesn't care because she knows you will pay.

If you don't know the SP or when in the States, take the half hour (or even the 15 minutes if it's available). In case you get ripped off, you will be loosing less money, and don't forget to report her on escorting forums. Reporting her will make her loose more money than you do, for sure.

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One thing to keep in mind. For the guys, this is money that is, for most of us, a little disposable income that we use to participate in this lifestyle.

For the ladies, this is their income, their livelihood.

As Berlin says, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Pay up front, the lady will enjoy her time with you (and thus you enjoy your time with her), it's a tried and true system

A quick rambling while the coffee pot is brewing

RG

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Its been said many times but paying up front, discreetly, is the only way to go. Lets face it, this is hardly a purchase that can be returned if you are not happy with it. If you have a genuine concern after you receive the service, most ladies will be happy to discuss it with you and try to make things right.

Not paying up front violates the trust that is needed to have the best encounter possible....

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There is a simple reason for taking care of the financials up front. The person providing the service cannot "retrieve the goods". My company provides a service and payment is always resolved prior to provision of the service for exactly that reason.

 

If one enters into an arrangement where there is doubt regarding delivery of the experience one's choices are to leave or accept one's role as a betting man and wager payment made will result in experience offered.

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I assumed pretty close what would be the SP's point of vue, but still got some aspects I did not expect. But what really supprised me is the response from the hobbyist. This board make a huge difference for trusting each other (to some extent) and gives confidence to participate. There has been several SP here I would even thought twice about giving the donation up front. Not the same for D L or the news paper adds.

 

Thank you all for your replies. This was very enlightening :smile:

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There is a simple reason for taking care of the financials up front. The person providing the service cannot "retrieve the goods".

 

That says it all; if you're not comfortable with the SP, then don't bother.

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I think Nicki and Cleo echo my sentiments. Anyone SP worth her reputation wouldn't rip you off. Not sure who exactly you have gone to see, but if any ladies on cerb pulled a stunt like that, they would be quickly found out.

 

It's been a while when the paper was the only option. The interesting part is the trust that has evolved on this board. I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing when I first became a member here, new I know I made the right choice :)

 

My only problem right now is the get the business running good enough to allow me a good desert ;)

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