What ever happened to the good ol' days?

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I was raised to say please and thank-you, to have respect for my elders, lend a helping hand to those in need, hold the door open for those behind me and to love people for who they are, not what you can get from them! I was taught to treat people the way I want to be treated. What ever happen to those days?

I am curious, who belives in this way of life? Do you try to uphold your convictions in your life? I do!

[roamingguy 300292]

I don't know what happened to those days. I was raised the same way. I know I hold doors, say please/thank you. Try to be a courteous driver (letting someone in etc)

Basically I treat others as I would like to be treated

But where has it gone, I certainly notice it seems to be lost on a lot of people. But whether someone else is discourteous or not, I don't lower myself down to that level, I still remain courteous and respectful

Thank you for the thread

RG

[Guest S**a*Q]

I think the problem lies in the generations.

Kids are raising themselves more and more these days.

There are more single parent households and the kids just aren't getting as much time with parents and good role models as they should.

Also I think that tv, music and video games play a HUGE part in desensitizing kids to the world around them.

[roamingguy 300292]

Parents are no longer allowed to discipline their child, I would love to blame parents, but that is not the truth!

 

When I was a kid if I spoke badly towards someone I would get a "clip" in the mouth! If I was hurting someone else I would be punished for my actions. Now a days there is no repercussions for peoples actions. Kids actually walk all over their parents and the parents have no recourse!

 

If you hit your child, the police and CAS (in Ont.) will show up on your door step and take the kid away and put you in jail. Even if they try to verbally discipline the kids it is considered verbal abuse and find themselves in a heap of trouble.

 

Now do not get me wrong I do not believe in beating a child, but I do believe parents should have the right to discipline the kids to teach them right from wrong. That their actions do have consequences.

 

Good point Shortcake

You know, I didn't get spanked a lot, but funny thing is, the spankings I did get I remember to this day, and I did deserve them

RG

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

I believe in a few common courtesies I rarely see practiced anymore.

 

1.) When an elderly person or pregnant lady gets on the bus, I find I'm usually the only one to offer my seat. This frustrates me to no end.

 

2.) When visiting someone's home, for God's sake, don't ever show up empty-handed. Especially if you're staying a few days! Whether it be a bottle of wine to a dinner party, a fabulous dessert to a barbeque or even just a coffee for a visit; I always bring something.

 

3.) When ever ANYONE on the road does me a favour (lets me in, allows me to proceed before them etc.) I ALWAYS wave. I can't get over how many people don't.

 

4.) Yes please, No thank you and You're Welcome!

[roamingguy 300292]

I believe in a few common courtesies I rarely see practiced anymore.

 

1.) When an elderly person or pregnant lady gets on the bus, I find I'm usually the only one to offer my seat. This frustrates me to no end.

 

2.) When visiting someone's home, for God's sake, don't ever show up empty-handed. Especially if you're staying a few days! Whether it be a bottle of wine to a dinner party, a fabulous dessert to a barbeque or even just a coffee for a visit; I always bring something.

 

3.) When ever ANYONE on the road does me a favour (lets me in, allows me to proceed before them etc.) I ALWAYS wave. I can't get over how many people don't.

 

4.) Yes please, No thank you and You're Welcome!

 

Very good points Soleil

For the few times I've travelled on a bus, I have given up my seat to an elderly person, a pregnant woman, and hell, being the gentleman that I am, just give up your seat to a lady

I practice number two quite a bit. Whether it's visiting family, and picking up steaks and cooking them, or seeing a lady (mind you I do that incall or outcall) there is something extra.

And it irks me to no end, when you let a driver in, especially with heavy traffic, and not so much as a wave

Thank you for the post

RG

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

I think it also depend in what part of the world you were raised...for me I was born in France, were I was thought pretty young some basics manners that today seem really "normal" to me...but when I move to Canada around 7 years old, I was stun to see how...not always rude but casual people are in Montréal. Just in elementary school in France no one would ever dare call a teacher by their first name...but here it is first name and "tu" everywhere. Everyone is extremely casual...so while growing up I had to change my manners, that for me were somewhat normal to be being more casual, especially in school, kids would pick at me for being polite (honestly is there such a thing at being too polite?)

 

But also I am young, I grew up with TV, computer and videos games, for as long as I can remember I had a Super Nintendo (still have it!), I pretty much raise myself, my parents were always extremely busy working and didn't have a lot of time to give me...In my life I have been punish twice, when I was 6 and the other time at 14....Most of the time they would just let it go, or send me to my room...when in my room I had tv, books, computer and videos games...but I swear when I was a teenager I would get up on the bus to let an elderly or pregnant lady sit down, I would try to open doors for people...but I swear nowadays young teens (11-14) think they are the kings/queens of the world...I swear some are so rude it's not believable. I feel old saying that, but I am ashamed of my own generation, we don't have the same values as before.

 

We grew up too quickly in a over sexual world were if you aren't like the others, you can go pretty much straight to hell in the popularity scale

[Cleo Catra 178382]

I was raised to say please and thank-you, to have respect for my elders, lend a helping hand to those in need, hold the door open for those behind me and to love people for who they are, not what you can get from them! I was taught to treat people the way I want to be treated. What ever happen to those days?

I am curious, who belives in this way of life? Do you try to uphold your convictions in your life? I do!

 

These are all part of why I left Toronto years ago. Too many people who would let the door slam back into your face rather than hold it open for you, or who would run into you on the street then turn around and tell you to fuck off rather than apologize.

 

I was raised to be polite and assist people in need. A lot of people blame the generations, and I definitely do see as well that these days the younger people are worse - but it's ot JUST a generational thing. I was born in the 80s and I'm polite.

[frenchbrute 1090]

I have been wondering what has been going on with this generation for quite some time. I myself am a younger professional guy(29) from just outside Ottawa. I was raised by two parents who were busy with life but also took the necessary time to guide me in my ways and for that I find myself extremely fortunate to this day. Whenever I find myself going in the city for basically anything the way I was raised always seems to come up. I guess I take my ways for granted sometimes but lately people have had to point out to me that not everybody is kind, or polite, or courteous or chivalrous. I mean, a few months ago I was at one of Ottawa's shopping centres and I was alone, I saw two older ladies coming up behind me walking slower and I decided to take my time then stopped and held the door for both of them to walk in before me. Well, to my surpise, after they walked in , they just stopped turned around and looked at me as if I was standing there completely naked. I knew right away what that stare meant. It sadly meant that they were surpised to see somebody my age stop and hold the door just for them.

 

Saying please or thank you anytime but especially in public, opening a door for somedy, if you see somebody with their arms full and they drop something and you pick it up for them, letting another driver into a lane, allowing a mother with children to pass in front of you at the grocery store, giving up your seat on any public transit system for somebody else and are all things that we have the capacity to do every day for not only people we know but complete strangers, the beauty of it all is none of those cost us anything but a few seconds of our time. I find it sad that most of these simple activities seem lost in today's society.

 

I find myself wondering sometimes as well what has happened to chivalry. Maybe I was in a unique situation and I'm not sure but... I observed my parents for over 25 years of marriage and I didn't see my mother have to open one door for herself or pull her own chair out in a restaurant. When a woman leaves the table you get up. When you pick up a lady for an evening or take her home you walk her to the door. If you decide to leave seperately I was always taught to either call her or get her to call you to make sure she got home ok. Once again, these activities, seem rather simple but as I have continued with my father's example in my life, I have sadly not only noticed these elements missing or not being done by other guys but several woman have commented (dates or friends) that not many guys practice chivalry anymore. Some women have even gone as far as to tell me that they think today that if a guy practices these he must be "up to something" or have ulterior motifs. Well, I hope not not in other cases and certainly that is not the case in mine. Frankly, I still enjoy the look on another persons face when I do something nice, just because it IS nice and for no other reason but to enjoy the look on their face when somebody has done something nice or courteous for them.

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

 

Some women have even gone as far as to tell me that they think today that if a guy practices these he must be "up to something" or have ulterior motifs. Well, I hope not not in other cases and certainly that is not the case in mine. Frankly, I still enjoy the look on another persons face when I do something nice, just because it IS nice and for no other reason but to enjoy the look on their face when somebody has done something nice or courteous for them.

 

Sadly here, I need to agree, when I see a guy of my age being nice, not macho, and being a gentlemen...I wonder what the hell is wrong with him? Does he just really want to have sex with me that badly? This is what go in my head normally...(talking private life here). It just isn't the norms for early 20's guys to be nice, gentle and considerated...they take everything for granted, they think that if they bring you out for dinner and pay...you need to have sex with them...it's sad:(

 

But I am really happy to have some AMAZING gentlemen from cerb...being treat like a lady at my age make me feel so good and special, I know that I am better treated that most of my friends that only date guys their age...

[frenchbrute 1090]

Unfortunately this these are the thoughts of a few ladies have and I find it quite sad. Yes, although they are admittedly rare, there are still some guys who have the capacity for all facets that a guy should be...a good friend, a dedicated professional, a courteous/respectful human being, potential to be a good father and a quality lover. If I have the ability to spend time and focus on each of these individual elements of my personality and achieve anything near to what I believe I can and keep being courteous, polite and chivalrous to any person whom I meet then I believe that would make me happy as an individual and should more than enough for another.

[Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958]

sorry folks, this just came to mind while reading this thread.

 

 

Well, animals are a lot like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated...but, like people, some of them are just jerks. Stop that, Mr. Simpson.

 

 

But on a more serious note, really some people are just jerks, especially when they're driving. I seriously wonder what the hell is wrong with some people! Or when people are trying to get through a crowded room like at a bar or something. Generally I use words like sorry, and excuse me or pardon me a moment, as I try to navigate my way through. I can't believe how many times I've had people just try to shove their way past me without any acknowledgement that they're in my space. It just makes me think: trust me son, you don't want to put me in a mosh pit frame of mind, lol.

 

I'm in my 20's and follow the rule of treat others as I would like to be treated. Seems simple enough.

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

One thing that I always find amazing is when I make a purchace in a store, especially the grocery store.

 

I greet the cashier with a smile and hello and most times he or she totally ignores me. When it's time for me to pay no words are spoken, I can see my total, then I pay in cash or pass my credit card. The entire transaction is completed without one word.

 

Once in awhile I will say loudly, " thank you very much or have a nice day". Still nothing. What is going on and how automated is society these days?

 

I love the pleasantries of life and it always makes my day when I meet someone walking and they greet me with a hello and a smile. Sadly these momemts are getting less and less. :icon_sad:

[Peachka 4334]

Actually, I've noticed that in Ottawa Grocery stores, the cashier always says hello or Hi, how are you? 'Do you need bags today?'

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

One thing that I always find amazing is when I make a purchace in a store, especially the grocery store.

 

I greet the cashier with a smile and hello and most times he or she totally ignores me. When it's time for me to pay no words are spoken, I can see my total, then I pay in cash or pass my credit card. The entire transaction is completed without one word.

 

Once in awhile I will say loudly, " thank you very much or have a nice day". Still nothing. What is going on and how automated is society these days?

 

I love the pleasantries of life and it always makes my day when I meet someone walking and they greet me with a hello and a smile. Sadly these momemts are getting less and less. :icon_sad:

 

I tend to experience the exact same thing and I thought it was a "woman thing" where some of them are catty but after reading this, I'm not alone so I think it is a change in the times. Then when I go to a cash register expecting the same attitude and I'm the one not saying anything this time around, suddenly they are very nice. What gives?

[qwertyaccount 15793]

...If you hit your child, the police and CAS (in Ont.) will show up on your door step and take the kid away and put you in jail. Even if they try to verbally discipline the kids it is considered verbal abuse and find themselves in a heap of trouble.

 

Now do not get me wrong I do not believe in beating a child, but I do believe parents should have the right to discipline the kids to teach them right from wrong. That their actions do have consequences.

 

It's sad that the services that were designed to protect our kids are actually causing some of them harm in the long run.

[Miss Scarlett 25073]

Being someone who has done work with CAS I also know that parents who have tried to remove TV/Video games have been charged with emotional abuse. Those kids REQUIRE those games for their emotional stability. I think it is horse crap that in today's day in age we are not allowed to discipline children in anyway for fear of the punishments ourselves.

 

Here is another example of how well our justice system works. If a kid throws a rock through your window. You can not have the child held accountable, the parents are the ones who get punished, and have to pay for the new one and the only form of punishment those parents can give to their kids, "now don't you do that again".

 

Sorry for my Rant but this is an issue that has been driving me nuts for a long time. I understand those laws were put into place because of people abusing their kids. But if you look at the kids that are being removed from their homes, most of the parents are good parents. The ones who are bad parents get put into rehab for a couple of weeks and get their kids back. So many times have I seen kids removed from good homes, while the bad parents get to have their kids back.

 

It's sad that the services that were designed to protect our kids are actually causing some of them harm in the long run.