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Addiction, or Therapy? Exploitation, or a Benevolent Service?

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I not only agree with Berlin Moss but enjoyed the read, very intuitive.

I believe we all at times question our role male or female.

When I worked for an agency how I viewed things is completely different to my thoughts and feelings now.

I actually love what I do now, because I answer to no one, I run things to what makes me happy & enjoy, I've used the industry to explore my own sexuality, broaden my horizions & my personal growth. 

Not many know me on here but on another board I literally tell gents what I want to try , or what mood I am in that day and theres usually a couple that step up to the plate ;)

 As any job / career there are good & bad days. Is it morally right or wrong ? I believe the answer is with in each and everyone of us and varies. Depending on the mind set you come into it with. To harm , degrade, heal, pure sensual pleasure or commpanionship. Some its fantasy, bucklist checking others its human touch,  connection there are so many varibles  of why. My take , As long as ppl are respectful, not harming others or themselves, respect boundaries and both partys or all envolved are consenting adults of the event. I personally have no issues with the moral side. 

Legally it has come a long way. Personally I think complete legalization would make things safer for sex workers.

I have laughed at my gf that was very promiscuous talking down about sex workers. She was my room mate. I asked how many guys have you had back in the last month she laughed it was lets say a few .. I asked her what she got out of it she replied half as many orgasms then men. We laughted and I replied now if you charged them you would  have over 4000 in cash and called her free hoe and we laughed so hard. She totally had a different outlook since that day and we still giggle about it.

Well thats my 2 cents

 

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On 4/7/2023 at 7:03 PM, Orpheo12 said:

My experience of compensating companions for their time has had me wrestling with ethical dilemmas. I'd like to share my thoughts and invite constructive comments.

Why is Sex Work illegal?

Our culture heightens sexual cravings by sexualizing people and products. We are conditioned to crave intimacy as an expression of our wholeness as human beings, and when under other stresses, a lack of healthy opportunities for intimacy can become an unmet need causing suffering and heightening the risk of mental illness and self-harming. So an argument can be made that Companions who provide such services are relieving suffering, and providing a kind of therapy. This has been my experience. I have appreciated the humanity and respect shared in my interactions as a client.

But I also recognize that scratching the itch often makes it worse. Once a lonely heart take the huge risk of seeing a companion, a positive experience intensifies the craving for more, more, more. So there is an obvious parallel to other forms of addiction. Some former taboos, like the use of marijuana, have been legalized and its use is now largely benevolent. By removing the trade from the hands of illegal suppliers the acceptance of such use has also seen larger numbers of people having a net benefit; just as I will enjoy a glass of Zinfandel after this post.

So if the provision of companionship can be genuinely therapeutic (relieving suffering), why does it continue to be regarded as illegal?

There are many good reasons to regard sex work as an evil. Human trafficking is an evil. Getting vulnerable people hooked on hard drugs so they can be pimped out to feed their addition is an evil. Huge amounts of money are passing into the hand of criminals who thrive on hurting people by whatever means enhances their profit. So there are aspects of the industry that are and should be prosecuted as criminal.

Under our present laws, selling sexual services is legal, but buying such services is illegal. For Sex Workers the legalization of providing services must be a great benefit, adding to the dignity and lessening the risk of choosing this profession. It is reasonable to criminalize those who seek their services?

I would argue that because much of sex work still does involve horrific exploitation, the answer is not a simple "no." But the harms are greater because the trade is still illegal for those seeking it. Were it legal, and protected as a human right (both providing and seeking), the opportunities for criminal exploitation would lessen and the mortal outrage against such activities would become harder to sustain rationally.

IMO, making sex work legal and regulated would be a positive step in the ethical evolution of our culture. Sex itself would become recognized as a healthy expression of human interactions rather than a dirty taboo, at least when paying for it.

In my experience, the companions I have met have been lovely persons with their own agency, enjoying dignity and treating me with respect in my vulnerability. Thank you.

I agree with this wholeheartedly and I have neevr understood the laws currently in place regarding this. It seems almost like entrapment. And I also think that it would lessen the risk of criminal exploitation if it were more open and people felt more comfortable speaking out about their experiences without the fear of potentially implicating themselves in criminal activity. As it sits it seems like a really backwards system and I am positive in the near future the goverment will see this too and rectify the situation. Everything has its due process and one thing at a time I suppose. Thanks for your post it was a good read

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On 4/11/2023 at 11:06 PM, Shannia Spinner said:

I not only agree with Berlin Moss but enjoyed the read, very intuitive.

I believe we all at times question our role male or female.

When I worked for an agency how I viewed things is completely different to my thoughts and feelings now.

I actually love what I do now, because I answer to no one, I run things to what makes me happy & enjoy, I've used the industry to explore my own sexuality, broaden my horizions & my personal growth. 

Not many know me on here but on another board I literally tell gents what I want to try , or what mood I am in that day and theres usually a couple that step up to the plate 😉

 As any job / career there are good & bad days. Is it morally right or wrong ? I believe the answer is with in each and everyone of us and varies. Depending on the mind set you come into it with. To harm , degrade, heal, pure sensual pleasure or commpanionship. Some its fantasy, bucklist checking others its human touch,  connection there are so many varibles  of why. My take , As long as ppl are respectful, not harming others or themselves, respect boundaries and both partys or all envolved are consenting adults of the event. I personally have no issues with the moral side. 

Legally it has come a long way. Personally I think complete legalization would make things safer for sex workers.

I have laughed at my gf that was very promiscuous talking down about sex workers. She was my room mate. I asked how many guys have you had back in the last month she laughed it was lets say a few .. I asked her what she got out of it she replied half as many orgasms then men. We laughted and I replied now if you charged them you would  have over 4000 in cash and called her free hoe and we laughed so hard. She totally had a different outlook since that day and we still giggle about it.

Well thats my 2 cents

 

The coolest part of reading this thread is that all three of the ladies who have posted here, namely Berlin Moss, Allie Zeon, and Shannia Spinner, offer quite diverse, but wonderful companion experiences. When you are with any of these lovely ladies, it is fair to say that their actions really do the talking, and herein lies the acid test of what they have said here.

The proof is in the pudding. It is to be experienced, ultimately.

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On 4/7/2023 at 11:03 PM, Orpheo12 said:

My experience of compensating companions for their time has had me wrestling with ethical dilemmas. I'd like to share my thoughts and invite constructive comments.

Why is Sex Work illegal?

Our culture heightens sexual cravings by sexualizing people and products. We are conditioned to crave intimacy as an expression of our wholeness as human beings, and when under other stresses, a lack of healthy opportunities for intimacy can become an unmet need causing suffering and heightening the risk of mental illness and self-harming. So an argument can be made that Companions who provide such services are relieving suffering, and providing a kind of therapy. This has been my experience. I have appreciated the humanity and respect shared in my interactions as a client.

But I also recognize that scratching the itch often makes it worse. Once a lonely heart take the huge risk of seeing a companion, a positive experience intensifies the craving for more, more, more. So there is an obvious parallel to other forms of addiction. Some former taboos, like the use of marijuana, have been legalized and its use is now largely benevolent. By removing the trade from the hands of illegal suppliers the acceptance of such use has also seen larger numbers of people having a net benefit; just as I will enjoy a glass of Zinfandel after this post.

So if the provision of companionship can be genuinely therapeutic (relieving suffering), why does it continue to be regarded as illegal?

There are many good reasons to regard sex work as an evil. Human trafficking is an evil. Getting vulnerable people hooked on hard drugs so they can be pimped out to feed their addition is an evil. Huge amounts of money are passing into the hand of criminals who thrive on hurting people by whatever means enhances their profit. So there are aspects of the industry that are and should be prosecuted as criminal.

Under our present laws, selling sexual services is legal, but buying such services is illegal. For Sex Workers the legalization of providing services must be a great benefit, adding to the dignity and lessening the risk of choosing this profession. It is reasonable to criminalize those who seek their services?

I would argue that because much of sex work still does involve horrific exploitation, the answer is not a simple "no." But the harms are greater because the trade is still illegal for those seeking it. Were it legal, and protected as a human right (both providing and seeking), the opportunities for criminal exploitation would lessen and the mortal outrage against such activities would become harder to sustain rationally.

IMO, making sex work legal and regulated would be a positive step in the ethical evolution of our culture. Sex itself would become recognized as a healthy expression of human interactions rather than a dirty taboo, at least when paying for it.

In my experience, the companions I have met have been lovely persons with their own agency, enjoying dignity and treating me with respect in my vulnerability. Thank you.

Hi,

This is for the first time i am able to read it in full without distraction.

Ethical and norm of our society vary depending on the region.  If you happen to travel to Samoa, you might be surprised when someone ask you openly and honestly to have sex with you.  Over there it's part of the norm.  I was surprised when a man approached me to have SEX few hours after i land on the island for the first time.  On the second day, i have few more offers, on third day i have already become a queen of Samoa lol.

It's part of their culture since they see sex as something as natural as eating their favorite casava.

"Selling" sexual service is illegal in certain countries because the "conservative, old" value of the society from religious points of view to other ethical points of view that may contradict this profession to exist legally, yet men still come to see escort discreetly. And as you mentioned, the sex trafficking and pimping make it even harder and complicated for this profession to be legalized.  Urgh.

Good things,

It's proven that decriminalization and/or legalization actually decrease the cases of sex violence.

It's proven, from my personal experience that married men can stay married because of us, escorts.

It's proven that sex, human touch and good communication in bed elevate our physical and mental health

And so on...and so on.

So yes, legalization and decrimination of escorting are the way to go.

We are blessed here in Canada.

As a client, i don't think police will bother you either if you see a legitimate, well reputable escort.  

We don't kiss and tell anyway so your secret is safe with us.

To sum it up,

Sex itself is not an addiction.  It's part of our basic needs.

Sex along with intimate human touch and genuine good conversations definitely is therapeutic. We all need that.

The third one is more complex but we want to aim as a benevolent service indeed

Happy hunting 😃

Going back home to NB tomorrow!

Allie 

Edited by Allie Zeon
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Very well written and to the point, Allie, with a valid argument towards legalization. Perhaps in the future, with open dialect, we might see changes. I certainly hope so, as a customer, and agree with all of your points! 

Welcome back to the East Coast Lifestyle!

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It's funny that people who don't visit SW'ers are so quick to villify then and their clients, but are silent on the child slavery it took to make their phone, the slavery to pick their products, kids as young as 10 recently caught in El Lay working the night shift at a slaughter house because their little fingers are better at cleaning saw blades. 

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On 4/14/2023 at 10:16 PM, Allie Zeon said:

Hi,

This is for the first time i am able to read it in full without distraction.

Ethical and norm of our society vary depending on the region.  If you happen to travel to Samoa, you might be surprised when someone ask you openly and honestly to have sex with you.  Over there it's part of the norm.  I was surprised when a man approached me to have SEX few hours after i land on the island for the first time.  On the second day, i have few more offers, on third day i have already become a queen of Samoa lol.

It's part of their culture since they see sex as something as natural as eating their favorite casava.

Sex is illegal in certain countries because the "conservative, old" value of the society from religious points of view to other ethical points of view that may contradict this profession to exist legally, yet men still come to see escort discreetly. And as you mentioned, the sex trafficking and pimping make it even harder and complicated for this profession to be legalized.  Urgh.

Good things,

It's proven that decriminalization and/or legalization actually decrease the cases of sex violence.

It's proven, from my personal experience that married men can stay married because of us, escorts.

It's proven that sex, human touch and good communication in bed elevate our physical and mental health

And so on...and so on.

So yes, legalization and decrimination of escorting are the way to go.

We are blessed here in Canada.

As a client, i don't think police will bother you either if you see a legitimate, well reputable escort.  

We don't kiss and tell anyway so your secret is safe with us.

To sum it up,

Sex itself is not an addiction.  It's part of our basic needs.

Sex along with intimate human touch and genuine good conversations definitely is therapeutic. We all need that.

The third one is more complex but we want to aim as a benevolent service indeed

Happy hunting 😃

Going back home to NB tomorrow!

Allie 

You're awesome, Allie.

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I just came here to say: 

 

OP came into my inbox asking me to offer mt insight because they enjoyed my previois comments on other posts - when I asked if they wanted to tip me for the emotional labour they declined. 
 

so I came here to say: 

 

if you are concerned about exploitation of sxworkers 

 

Dont ask them to provide uncompensated emotional and physical labour, skill, knowledge and esp knowledge from lived experience , for your own selfish desires. 
 

this topic is a wild thing to be debating - one that swer advocate orgs and swers have dissected many times. One that Marxists have discussed - all labour under capitalism is exploitative. 

 

Humans are social creatures, we not only crave but require intimate human connection - and for many people that includes sexual intimacy 

 

anyways I had been pondering this for awhile - because I was so disgusted by OP for reaching out to me specifically to interact with their post & them having zero inclination of showing any consideration for that request that I needed to figure out whether or not this was even worth saying. 
 

Dming me and asking me to contribute on this topic is a perfect example of clients - or non sex workers exploiting sex workers time energy and lived experiences to their own benefit. 
 

I shall let that simmer - and if anyone is interested in reading my complete thoughts on this topic I will be releasing a private section  to my website for lovers of mine that will include a selection of writings that I plan to publish. L

Hot topics galore dissected by yours truly. 
 

I also want to not I am sure OP's intentions werent to be disrespectful or exploitative.... but intent and impact arent always aligned. 
 

take this as a learning moment!

 

also!!!! sex workers want DECRIMINALIZATION not legalization. Legalization would look similar to cannabis in that it is still criminalized and for many people that creates barriers oppression and violence. 
but what it does allow is for the church and state to be more involved and create things like "licensing" which can result in swers being denied access to other countries, it being used in court , esp family court, being targetted by police & also being targetted for working without a license. 
 

Toronto has a stripping license - $500 

oh and a massage license $100 

 

yearly. 
 

niagara falls $400 

vaughn $250 

calgary $300 

and you cant get that licensing if you have any priors and that can include  charges  of soliciting  - which for some dancers has been them shaking hands with a club patron prior to the laws around physical contact changing. 
 

I could go on and on and on . Ans I read so so so many problematic nareative in OPs initialt comment... alas I have a scene to film so , have beautiful time and maybe consider researching sex worker activists, orgs and listening to us when we talk about these things - which we have done, many times, accross many platforms, across generations. 

 

 

Edited by SamanthaKnoxx
I wanted to add a comment but didnt want to create a whole new reply

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    I often question myself about certain board members.

Unsure if teenagers pretending to be adults or grown men incapable of rational thinking in regard to adult services.

    They inquire about ads with obvious picture of adult entertainers with no forms of references, when would never hire someone for any other type of work if similarly advertised.

     And when reading threads related to reviews and recos, some seem to believe everyone offering any form of adult services want that information shared with the world. Even for providers with considerable social media presence, not everything should be shared. And for a majority of those offering limited services with nonclinical massages, it's often not their dream job. They do to make a living. Due to limited education, criminal record, immigration status or other factors, can't get other type of work that providers more than minimal wage. Not all got the luxury to choose their clients and promote themselves. Something to keep in mind before posting specific information about providers, their workplace and special services/favors.

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13 hours ago, Greenteal said:

    I often question myself about certain board members.

Unsure if teenagers pretending to be adults or grown men incapable of rational thinking in regard to adult services.

    They inquire about ads with obvious picture of adult entertainers with no forms of references, when would never hire someone for any other type of work if similarly advertised.

     And when reading threads related to reviews and recos, some seem to believe everyone offering any form of adult services want that information shared with the world. Even for providers with considerable social media presence, not everything should be shared. And for a majority of those offering limited services with nonclinical massages, it's often not their dream job. They do to make a living. Due to limited education, criminal record, immigration status or other factors, can't get other type of work that providers more than minimal wage. Not all got the luxury to choose their clients and promote themselves. Something to keep in mind before posting specific information about providers, their workplace and special services/favors.

"Andfor a majority of those offering limited serviceswith nonclinical massages, it's often not theirdream job. They do to make a living. Due tolimited education, criminal record, immigrationstatus or other factors, can't get other type ofwork that providers more than minimal wage."

 

Did you know that you cannot obtain a license for body massage or stripping in many cities in Canada if you have a criminal record, or dont have citizenship or residency status. 
 

Sex work is also the ONLY type of work thats indicated on all visa applications as being prohibited. 
 

Sex workers do sex work. Its work. Thats not up for debate. 
 

but im getting tired of seeing so many men commenting on the industry & fueing rhetoric around things like abuse, substance use, people not liking their job etc while having no lived experience and speaking over sex workers rather than uplifting their voices (not suggesting thats happening from your comment , but it happens a lot)

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16 minutes ago, SamanthaKnoxx said:

Did you know that you cannot obtain a license for body massage or stripping in many cities in Canada if you have a criminal record, or dont have citizenship or residency status. 
 

Sex work is also the ONLY type of work thats indicated on all visa applications as being prohibited. 
 

Sex workers do sex work. Its work. Thats not up for debate. 
 

but im getting tired of seeing so many men commenting on the industry & fueing rhetoric around things like abuse, substance use, people not liking their job etc while having no lived experience and speaking over sex workers rather than uplifting their voices (not suggesting thats happening from your comment , but it happens a lot)

   I'm not judging anyone's reasons for doing this type of work. People are allowed to privately make a living, pay bills and feed their families.

  The decision to make it public belongs to them and only them. No matter if part of public discussions about massages or companionship, information shared should be limited to safety and accuracy. Anything related to actual services and specific personal details should remain private.

   What someone may or may not have done with others is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what both sides agreed on and to make it happen in a private and safe way.

   

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7 hours ago, Greenteal said:

   I'm not judging anyone's reasons for doing this type of work. People are allowed to privately make a living, pay bills and feed their families.

  The decision to make it public belongs to them and only them. No matter if part of public discussions about massages or companionship, information shared should be limited to safety and accuracy. Anything related to actual services and specific personal details should remain private.

   What someone may or may not have done with others is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what both sides agreed on and to make it happen in a private and safe way.

   

I agree wholeheartedly 😅

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Berlin's penultimate paragraph is simply brilliant. Almost every profession and a wide variety of goods have the potential to be "evil" in the hands of those with ulterior motives. Consider the fact that daily items are produced using slave labour. Berlin and Orpheo both agree that just because something can be bad doesn't mean you should outright forbid it. When our fundamental legal system already provides for successful prosecution, as long as the relevant officials do their jobs, people frequently call for "clamping down" or the creation of new laws.


 

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  The choice to support or avoid any product, service, brand or industry should be a personal one.

When done in a public way to display moral and ethical high grounds, this is where hypocrisy emerges.

  In regard to the adult industry, concerns about slave labour and ties to other illegal activities are real. Knowing who you're doing business with and an understanding of the law provide a better idea on who you're actually supporting and how to protect yourself if things don't go smoothly.

  More than once had discussions with people expressing how they would never "pay for sex". But later admitted receiving services at massage and stripper places and trying to defend as "different". It's not.

  No matter the constitutionality of current laws, consenting adults can buy and sell services. With the vast amount of available legal information, pleading ignorance is no longer an excuse.

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     On the subject of addictions, many seem to struggle with the concept of business relationships.

 There nothing wrong in humanizing services and being friendly. But once a transaction is complete, nobody owes anything to anyone.   I'm seeing a ridiculous amount of threads enquiring about providers who possibly moved, changed their names or retired from the industry. It's fine to look if someone still offers services. But going public shouldn't be the first option.

  Quite often, search engines will give you answers in minutes. If you can't find any traces, it's likely because that person moved on and want privacy. If you do find contact information and get no replies, it's maybe time to look for someone else.

   

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On 4/8/2023 at 12:20 PM, Orpheo12 said:

Thank you for your rich response. You name many nuances that deepen my own understanding. For now I refrain from further comment, hoping that others will engage with your observations,

You should tip her for her valuable insight. But im sure based off your own refusal to tip me after you requested I reply and interact with this post - that you wont Orpheus🥺🤪🤔🤷🏼‍♀️

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On 5/7/2023 at 10:05 PM, SamanthaKnoxx said:

I just came here to say: 

 

OP came into my inbox asking me to offer mt insight because they enjoyed my previois comments on other posts - when I asked if they wanted to tip me for the emotional labour they declined. 
 

so I came here to say: 

 

if you are concerned about exploitation of sxworkers 

 

Dont ask them to provide uncompensated emotional and physical labour, skill, knowledge and esp knowledge from lived experience , for your own selfish desires. 
 

this topic is a wild thing to be debating - one that swer advocate orgs and swers have dissected many times. One that Marxists have discussed - all labour under capitalism is exploitative. 

 

Humans are social creatures, we not only crave but require intimate human connection - and for many people that includes sexual intimacy 

 

anyways I had been pondering this for awhile - because I was so disgusted by OP for reaching out to me specifically to interact with their post & them having zero inclination of showing any consideration for that request that I needed to figure out whether or not this was even worth saying. 
 

Dming me and asking me to contribute on this topic is a perfect example of clients - or non sex workers exploiting sex workers time energy and lived experiences to their own benefit. 
 

I shall let that simmer - and if anyone is interested in reading my complete thoughts on this topic I will be releasing a private section  to my website for lovers of mine that will include a selection of writings that I plan to publish. L

Hot topics galore dissected by yours truly. 
 

I also want to not I am sure OP's intentions werent to be disrespectful or exploitative.... but intent and impact arent always aligned. 
 

take this as a learning moment!

 

also!!!! sex workers want DECRIMINALIZATION not legalization. Legalization would look similar to cannabis in that it is still criminalized and for many people that creates barriers oppression and violence. 
but what it does allow is for the church and state to be more involved and create things like "licensing" which can result in swers being denied access to other countries, it being used in court , esp family court, being targetted by police & also being targetted for working without a license. 
 

Toronto has a stripping license - $500 

oh and a massage license $100 

 

yearly. 
 

niagara falls $400 

vaughn $250 

calgary $300 

and you cant get that licensing if you have any priors and that can include  charges  of soliciting  - which for some dancers has been them shaking hands with a club patron prior to the laws around physical contact changing. 
 

I could go on and on and on . Ans I read so so so many problematic nareative in OPs initialt comment... alas I have a scene to film so , have beautiful time and maybe consider researching sex worker activists, orgs and listening to us when we talk about these things - which we have done, many times, accross many platforms, across generations. 

 

 

I understand why you feel thus way but I clearly did not offer to tip anyone. Nor did I asked to be paid for sharing my thoughts. You have chosen to be active here often. It is your choice to share your point of view. Best wishes to you.

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Allie, your writing is clear and concise, and you make a convincing case for legalization.With open dialect, perhaps things will change in the future. As a consumer, I sincerely hope so and concur with all of your arguments. 

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On 8/16/2023 at 4:46 PM, Orpheo12 said:

I understand why you feel thus way but I clearly did not offer to tip anyone. Nor did I asked to be paid for sharing my thoughts. You have chosen to be active here often. It is your choice to share your point of view. Best wishes to you.

What's HILARIOUS is you suggesting theres literally any reason what so ever for YOU to be tipped. 
 

 

you are an anon client profile....

and you are out here procurring services when you dont even think its ethical to do so..... how does it feel knoeing you are the kind of many who sees unethical behaviour, participates in it and then acts pious and above compensating sex workers for their labour. Get a grip bro. And maybe a therapist.


 

 it was YOUR choice to enter my dms and ask me to contribute my time and energy to discourse that in absolutly no way genuinely or directly supports sxx workers on this platform like myself. 
 

this just feels like you wanted attention on your post and figured Id bring something to the discourse. Which is true- and yet entirely self serving to you. 
 

of course you didnt offer to tip me. You came into my DMs asking me to provide  YOU with free emotional and physical labour......... why would I ever believe you to be the kind of generous considerate man to tip sex workers for their labour🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🤷🏼‍♀️ 

 

 

Edited by SamanthaKnoxx
Just lacking a lillllll bit of clarity

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