Biggest lies ever told (or heard)

[roamingguy 300292]

Asking a fisherman about the biggest lie?

BTW we don't call them lies, they are fishing stories

RG

[qwertyaccount 15793]

Asking a fisherman about the biggest lie?

BTW we don't call them lies, they are fishing stories

RG

 

If you mean about the one that got away, that really happened, I swear!

[Winnipegcub 21293]

How about;

 

What did you get on that last hole? Hmm I think a boggie.

How many did you have? Just 2 beers.

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[qwertyaccount 15793]

• It will only take 5 minutes (anything to do with computers, home repairs, etc.)
  

[frenchbrute 1090]

I'm only a few years removed from college so I still remember some decent whoppers that I heard, yes some are pretty bad:

 

*I swear..I thought she was 18!

*No dear...the lipstick on my collar is from you before I left for the bar

*No..we went bowling..not to the strip club!

*I wanted to work of the group project..but I was was outvoted so that's why we went drinking!

...so many more

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Oh and this one from IT,

- This software upgrade will be transparent to the users.

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[Megan'sTouch 23875]

The results of a vote/contest, particularly in elementary school "The votes were SO CLOSE it was almost a tie!!!"

[roamingguy 300292]

The results of a vote/contest' date=' particularly in elementary school "The votes were SO CLOSE it was almost a tie!!!"[/quote']

 

Didn't they use that in Florida when Bush won the election? LOL

RG:icon_biggrin:

[frenchbrute 1090]

How about of the biggest lies-EVER!!! Worse part is, we've all been victims of them and all re-used the same to others:

 

*Santa Claus

*Easter Bunny

*Toothfairy

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

The results of a vote/contest' date=' particularly in elementary school "The votes were SO CLOSE it was almost a tie!!!"[/quote']

 

I remember that...the winner was always the one that was giving away free candies

[roamingguy 300292]

How about of the biggest lies-EVER!!! Worse part is, we've all been victims of them and all re-used the same to others:

 

*Santa Claus

*Easter Bunny

*Toothfairy

 

WHAT!!!!! There is so a Santa Claus and an Easter Bunny. And every time I lost a tooth as a kid the Tooth Fairy left me some money under my pillow where I put my tooth LOL

RG

[NotchJohnson 214123]

One of my employee as got a list of excuses for being sick the day after payday:

-I had seafood and got a rash

-I had a headache

-the doctor said its a virus

-tooth ache

-I twisted my foot

-I thought it was a holiday

-etc.

[Andee 220524]

I thought Jake covered it pretty well in this scene from the Blues Brothers:

 

[after a burst of gunfire from the Mystery Woman, Jake climbs to his feet, covered in mud from the tunnel floor]

Jake: It's good to see you, sweetheart.

Mystery Woman: You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.

[Jake falls to his knees]

Jake: Oh, please, don't kill us! Please, please don't kill us! You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault!

Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.

Jake: No, I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

[Elwood covers his head in anticipation of more gunfire, Jake removes his sunglasses to make a wordless appeal, and the Mystery Woman visibly softens]

Mystery Woman: Oh, Jake... Jake, honey...

[Jake embraces the Mystery Woman and they kiss]

Jake: [to Elwood] Let's go.

[He drops the Mystery Woman and walks off]

Elwood: [to the Mystery Woman as he steps past her] Take it easy.

[qwertyaccount 15793]

How about of the biggest lies-EVER!!! Worse part is, we've all been victims of them and all re-used the same to others:

 

*Santa Claus

*Easter Bunny

*Toothfairy

 

But the boogie man is real right?

[VedaSloan 119179]

Haha, ok, so this is basically the biggest lie I've ever told.

 

For years my parents thought I was unemployed (they did my taxes), so when I started escorting and suddenly had 3 grand to go to Europe for two months, I told them that I had won money at the casino.

 

I've never even been in a casino, let alone won money at one.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Berlin, that's awesome, haha!!

 

I didn't lie, but my parents were thrilled when I told them I quit stripping. If only they knew I entered erotic massage! LOL!

[antlerman 17064]

yes..I am faithful......................................................

[qwertyaccount 15793]

• That's the biggest I've ever seen
  

[antlerman 17064]

"you are sooo deep".....hahahahahahah

[qwertyaccount 15793]

• I know where I'm going, I do not need to ask someone for directions.
  

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Read my lips. No new taxes.......

[qwertyaccount 15793]

• "I can make a firm pledge. Under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes."
  
• "As president, Barack Obama will close the detention facility at Guantanamo."
  
• "I will not sign any non-emergency bill without giving the American public an opportunity to review and comment on the White House website for five days."
  

It's not fair using lies from politicians, after all it's their job to lie to get elected.

[Lowdark 5613]

Weapons of mass Destruction, anyone?

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

The biggest lie tod me, yes I am booking special time with you and then not bother to show up for out date or give a weak and totally unbeliavable excuse for standing me up.

 

So really, not classy and do I believe you, absolutly not. ! Your lies are very transparent.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

The biggest lie tod me, yes I am booking special time with you and then not bother to show up for out date or give a weak and totally unbeliavable excuse for standing me up.

 

So really, not classy and do I believe you, absolutly not. ! Your lies are very transparent.

 

Mine too and my thoughts exactly, just call/text cancel and don't waste my time because a true gentleman is waiting!!