The 80s. The next installment of How I got Here

bcguy42 · July 15, 2011

The 80s. Good lord, can we skip the 80s? Guess not. The 80s brought the advent of the magic phrase "D & D free!". If anyone just woke up from a 40-year slumber, that means Drug and Disease Free. We will pass on the issue of just how sexy is it to advertise you don't have a disease. Yee-haw!

Seriously, AIDs changed the whole game. Pre-AIDs, the biggest worry was that you'd get a sore "Down There" to quote the black-and-white movie they used to show us in Phys-Ed when we were in high school to try to scare us into not having sex. Like that ever worked. And if you got a sore, "Down There", you were assured in the new age of pharmacology that there was a pill to take and all was OK.

In the AIDs era, the new reality was that you could die. Stark and simple as that. Now you had to worry about not just who that person you were boinking had slept with but who the person before had slept with and so on. If you had a written note from your doctor stating you were clean, you were laid. You were golden. Bring on the sex. Oh, wait, your note is more than six months old. Better get a new one!

Free and casual sex was dead and gone. We all retreated into our dark little huts and made sure that no one entered unless we knew that person's sexual history back to pre-school. But we had our friends. And we were pretty sure we knew what our friends were up to. So they were OK.

With the pool of available sexual partners seriously shrunken, what sex we had and who we had it with, we had it a lot. If you met someone new, you more or less held that person at arm's length for a while. No one ever came out and said so, but you were waiting to make sure that person didn't die and was clean. If they were, well come on in!

There was a group of us that met on a BBS - bulletin board - the way people communicated before this new-fangled Internet thing came about. We started out meeting at restaurants - similar to the Socials here. The more adventurous of us started meeting nude at a place on Rideau Street that had large hot tubs that could hold 10 or so people. The truly seriously adventurous of us got together after one of the hot tub runs at Jane's house (name changed).

We were sitting around talking, enjoying our wine or Black Russians or whatever. Things got a little slow. Jane and I went to the kitchen for something. We got to fooling around there. Barbara (name change) came in to see what was going on. The three of us started fooling around. We decided it would be fun to return to the group nude. So Jane, Barbara and I plopped down in the living room in our all-together.

Some of the previously seriously adventurous started to get nervous.

Barbara decided things were getting a little slow so she went down on Jane. Really went down.

Some of the previously seriously adventurous decided they were not quite so adventurous and politely took their leave.

Those of us that remained had what in some circles would be termed an orgy. Seriously. And it was a liberating experience. We felt that if one of us was not currently experiencing an orgasm, something was not right with the universe and set about correcting that.

We continued to get together. Usually, the most people participating was five. When we gathered, the first thing to happen was the shedding of clothes. We would sip our drinks, make small talk and begin gentle foreplay with each other. The particular gender of the person next to you that you were caressing was singularly unimportant.

It was in this setting that I learned to give a very good blowjob. I learned that I enjoyed anal sex - giving and receiving - not only with the guys but the girls. They had a wicked set of toys. I enjoyed providing one half of double penetration for the ladies. I enjoyed stroking into my lady friend while my male friend was stroking into me. If it could be done, we did it. And we did it until we could do it well.

This went on a while until we started losing people. People got new jobs. People moved. People quit showing up. Eventually there was just Jane, Barbara and me. Then Jane got engaged and Barb's husband got weird and that phase passed into history.

I've not seen most of those people since. I'm still in touch with Barbara. She still lives in the area and her weird husband has moved on - I think he's with some guy - and we enjoy conversation now and again but we stay dressed. He gave her one of the gifts that keeps on giving, an STD. She mentioned to me a little while back that the episode where she first went down on Jane was actually the first time she'd ever kissed a woman. Didn't know hat came over her at the time but she was glad it did.

After that, things quieted down for me and so far as I can tell, for most of my friends. I hear that back in the American Midwest town that I'm from, guys are getting together to give each other blowjobs or going to the XXX video place to get them from strangers. They think their wives don't know. They do and they think it's funny.

Friends of mine have died from AIDs. One of them is an unclaimed corpse at the Los Angeles County Coroners Office. I can go on the Internet and read about him. His siblings are so ashamed he was gay they won't claim the body. (Yeah, that was one strange conversation with his brother.) Other friends, including my oldest son's god-father, are living with AIDs. So its still out there. Living in the back of everyone's mind. That and drug-resistant STDs. Its a wonderful world we live in now.

And it all started in the 80s.

Phaedrus · July 16, 2011

The 80s. Good lord, can we skip the 80s? Guess not. The 80s brought the advent of the magic phrase "D & D free!".

Ha! When I was in the 80s, that probably referred to the people who didn't play Dungeons and Dragons. Sounds like your 80s were more fun than mine...

bcguy42 · July 16, 2011

Ha! Forgot all about Dungeons and Dragons. Sadly, I can remember when it first came out. But then again, I remember when Asteroids was a cool advanced video game.

And when the only adult video in town was at the Mini-Cinima, sixteen seats with four or five guys wearing, I swear to God, raincoats and the rustling sounds of solitary passion mingles with the odour of sweat and old semen.

Deperate times... :handjob: