emb3750 9398 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) Ok, so here's the deal. I have the opportunity to have a Carribean getaway with a favorite SP of mine, but as usual, sneeking away without the knowledge of my SO is holding me back. Has anybody SUCCESSFULLY used a cover story in the past, that has been bullet proof for them? I would be interested in hearing from both Gents and Ladies. As this trip is not being planned until much later this year, I have time to lay the groundwork. Every bit of input is greatly appreciated. E. Edited July 26, 2011 by emb3750 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jg24 3708 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 Wow this could be a tough one plan out and keep secret Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TGirl-Kay 7484 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 You could get your self a copy of the Ethical Slut or Opening Up and use the time you have to create an open relationship, it would probably be way easyer. There's no such thing as a bomb proof cover up. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ma*be***ag*** Report post Posted July 26, 2011 As they say, the devil is always in the details. The best cover is one that is always close to the truth. The hardest stories to keep together are the ones that you need to remember the details to, because you will eventually make a mistake, and the cover comes undone. I have taken a number of weekends away by myself, with no one with me. If ever I wanted to get away, I can just say that I am going away by myself, and there is no questions asked now, because I have already done it consistently. Laying the groundwork early on can make it easier much later. Since you have some time to work on it, the sooner you start laying groundwork, the better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra-Sky 12606 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 November, while I am always a prominent advocate of open and polyamorous relationships, I have found that even those who theoretically truly believe in it have a hard time of practicing it in a healthy manner. Especially if a relationship has been closed for a long time, it's quite difficult to set different terms by then. While I am all for honesty in most cases, I recognize that a society that constantly saturates us with messages of compulsory and life time monogamy is one in which some people have little choice but to lie to their loved ones in order to live out some of their desires. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 10 great reasons why you can't take your wife to the Caribbean: 10. Lesbian vampire cult. The island breeds 'em. 9. Zombies... no... Nazi Zombies.... no... Mormon Nazi Zombies. They sing Eidelweiss like the Osmonds and then they eat your brains. You got the last set of earplugs, and the last zombie proof helmet... in the world. 8. It's the Caribbean yeast harvest that week. Can't be too careful. 7. It's Rebecca Black week at the resort. Since she only has two songs, half the trip she will be subjected to "Friday." You love her too much to let her endure that; you will face it alone. 6. You are sharing a room with Bob, the mouth breather. 5. The government has asked you to go alone. That's all you can say. 4. The resort you are booked at only serves all the food that she hates. 3. It's shark week and she will be on her period. 2. That thing she is most afraid of??? The island is crawling with em. and the number one reason you can't take the SO.... 1. You learned that you were adopted. It turns out that your father is none other than Fidel Castro himself. His dying wish is to see his son before he dies. You have been corresponding with his little brother Ramon, and Ramon tells you that your SO looks exactly like their mother. If your SO came with you, Fidel would die and it might be the impetus for a US led invasion - the world would take sides and in the end, it would be the start of World War 3. Catastrophe. Nuclear missiles flying like mosquitoes. People dying on the streets... and it all would be your SO's fault for insisting on tagging along. We can't have that can we??? 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 Old Dog, You have earned yourself a most epic high five!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 I need some more info before I can craft you a marvelous cover story. First, do you go away on trips normally? Do you normally travel for business? Or is this a trip that your SO would want to go on and be wondering why you're going without her? Honestly, without knowing too much about you, I'd go with the business trip line, but if you don't travel for business regularly that won't work. Then again, my dad doesn't travel regularly for business, and a couple of years ago went to India and then the Canary Islands to work on oil rigs. So if you can come up with some kind of extension to what you do for work (my dad is an electrical contractor and now does work with Bruce Nuclear, so doing electrical work on an oil rig wasn't a big stretch), that might work too. Work-related excuses like conferences, training sessions, industry workshops, etc work really well too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
emb3750 9398 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 I do travel regularly for work, but never south...the problem is coming home with a tan, and having to explain that one...as well as the sand in the suitcase. Tha shit gets everywhere!!! Also, my business travels are from Monday to Friday...this little adventure would include a weekend. E. I need some more info before I can craft you a marvelous cover story. First, do you go away on trips normally? Do you normally travel for business? Or is this a trip that your SO would want to go on and be wondering why you're going without her? Honestly, without knowing too much about you, I'd go with the business trip line, but if you don't travel for business regularly that won't work. Then again, my dad doesn't travel regularly for business, and a couple of years ago went to India and then the Canary Islands to work on oil rigs. So if you can come up with some kind of extension to what you do for work (my dad is an electrical contractor and now does work with Bruce Nuclear, so doing electrical work on an oil rig wasn't a big stretch), that might work too. Work-related excuses like conferences, training sessions, industry workshops, etc work really well too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 I do travel regularly for work, but never south...the problem is coming home with a tan, and having to explain that one...as well as the sand in the suitcase. Tha shit gets everywhere!!! Also, my business travels are from Monday to Friday...this little adventure would include a weekend. E. Well, I would say it was for work and just tell the wife that you're as surprised as she is that you get to go someplace nice, but that you won't get to enjoy much of it anyway, since it is for work. That'll explain the tan. Tell her that since the length of the trip isn't very long, that you'll have to work over the weekend as well, and that this was the only time that worked for both you and the Caribbean contacts. Research some companies in the Caribbean that do the same work you do and drop names. I don't know what you're doing with the sand, but I've never managed to get it in my suitcase ;) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S**a*Q Report post Posted July 26, 2011 I've got it!!! Take the wife somewhere tropical the week beforehand... Somewhere warm and relaxing for the two of you, because you have to be gone for a week for work... Then you both already have a tan, so no need to explain and all that... :) and tell her that you didn't mind the sand in the suitcase was a nice reminder of your wife while you were gone ;) Oooh that's a good one.. It's a little more costly, but it's a cover for the tan and the sand! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boomer 33202 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 Two Points As for Novembers suggestion, if you haven't developed an open relationship by now, going in that direction at this point is probably out of the question. One problem for men is they get jealous and want the benefits but aren't willing to see their partners have their own freedom to indulge. A cover story is almost impossible to carry off under such a scenario. Maybe you just have to tell her you are stressed and going to take a a little R&R on you're own in the Caribbean. She may know intuitively what you're up to but without the evidence, probably already does know you're a hobbiest. You live with the fall out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frenchbrute 1090 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 Well, for this and without knowing you or your businessw I would relate it to a work event such as other shave hinted already. Being specific about certain things is important to as well as focusing on your disdain and being "forced" to go. Down play it. Mention a work conference or training seminars and that senior management booked the location for golf or something of the sort and you had no choice in the matter. While you feel bad that you'll be in a such a location but really unable to particpate in many outdoor activities due to the scheduling on "your" specific events. Unfortunately for many people this is a reality as my family had to endure such occurences for years(yes it was true in his case). Although some people do actually enjoy thes etrips, some are forced by curcumstances to go on thes etrips and actually work. So in this case this could easily work for you if properly finessed. Good luck with your decision! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qwertyaccount 15793 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 Remember the KISS system: Keep It Simple Stupid. The more detailed you make it, the more likely you'll screw up. You could offer to take your SO on a trip right after your business trip to make up for her not being able to accompany you on the business trip. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ottawaadventurer 5114 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 I have considered such a trip before but decided it was just too risky. There are so many things that can happen. Once, I was in Jamaica and bumped into friends of ours... One never really knows who one might see. And then there are all the other things that can happen - illness, accidents, etc... I'm a bit of a control freak to begin with, and obviously from my response, a worrier. While the prospect of spending a few days with a beautiful woman in a tropical paradise was a fantasy, I wasn't prepared to take the risk. If you do end up doing it, I would agree that keeping it simple is the way. I assume your SO doesn't know anyone you work with... That was another of my problems... Mine does, so I couldn't say it was a work thing in case she ever mentioned the trip to them.. Good luck sir - let us know how it goes! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bethany Westbrooke 7532 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 What if you started playing poker or something and then made some new poker friends, who your SO would never meet, then plan a poker boys trip to the Bahamas for some serious poker playing(maybe look up a tournament) and male bonding time... As this friend(s) would be so compartmentalized as a poker buddy you could avoid ever having to introduce him to the SO... Being so organized now is a blessing as you have lots of time to build on the story... Have fun in the sun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qwertyaccount 15793 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 ...Once, I was in Jamaica and bumped into friends of ours... One never really knows who one might see. ... Great point! The world is really a very small place. I almost always run into someone I know. And these days everyone has a camera or two with them, and they post their photos and videos on the web for all to see. Many resorts also now have photographers snapping photos of everyone all day long, and post them so you can pick which shots you would like to buy. There is a good chance your SO will visit the resorts website to find shots with you in them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 Unless you want to get caught, don't do it. If you enjoy the risk, then go ahead. I cannot think of any plausible story that your SO would believe. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer but all I can envision is a bunch of tears. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted July 26, 2011 No such thing as a bulletproof cover story. Whatever you come up with you will be taking a risk of being discovered or having your cover blown. Its one thing to hide standard hobbying activity but something of this nature is much more risky. So it seems to me the first thing to do is evaluate the consequences of being discovered and decide if it is really worth the risk. You also have to ask yourself if you are really going to enjoy yourself if you end up spending a lot of time worried about being discovered. If you do go ahead with it limit the number of people that know to you and the SP (don't try to enlist people to help you with your cover story, and don't confide in anyone). Realize your cover story has to be the same for all who might learn of your plan to be away (including the surprise factor ie people you unexpectedly run into at the airport, resort etc etc). Remember that the trip is a one time experience but the cover story is permanent. You will always have to remember and stay true to the cover story if you want to keep the secret (may be harder than you realize) long after (years) the trip is over. Its always the little things (will you take photos of your trip? obviously the SP can't be in them but what about the cover story items are they in the pics?) that blow open a conspiracy or secret. It could be a lot of fun but before you invest much, make sure you know it will be worth the effort. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 Great point! The world is really a very small place. I almost always run into someone I know. True story. I met a client who was a one-night stand I had in Waterloo during first year uni, six years prior. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dorinda Bloom 44036 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 You are most brave - and generous! Definitely I echo the tan thing and the sand! I had a gent take me to Jamaica last year and I ended up getting very sick, needing a doctor etc. Thankfully, things weren't as bad as they could have been and nothing came of it. :icon_smile: Another thing to watch for is being seen with another woman at the airport. It can be fun though, to be travelling together and pretend to not know each other until you arrive! :icon_wink: Sneaky sneaky, better tip toe on this one! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra-Sky 12606 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 I like bethany's poker idea! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest E*******h S******s Report post Posted July 26, 2011 I'm with Meg on this one. If you can't afford to get caught....don't do it. Using your work as an excuse is a pretty big risk if you ever take your SO to Xmas parties or company picnics. It's bound to come out that there was no conference at a resort. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bcguy42 38594 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 How much do you want to pay for this? Send the SO and possibly one of her friends someplace she has always wanted to go. Tell her she deserves it. Then later, tell her you want some "me time" and tell her you're going to down South to bum around for a few days. There you go... the simplest story. Horribly cynical but very simple. But I agree with earlier posts that you need to consider the possibility of all kinds of crap happening: you and the SP get mugged, car accident, broken leg - stuff that when the official reports come in there is one person too many in the narrative. I've done something similar but the person I was going to see was already at the distant location and had her own resources. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
renegade 11027 Report post Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) if you have plenty of time to plan ahead set up a trip for your s/o have her visit family or an old friend or take a chicks trip -then last minute decide hey what a good time for you to slip away for a little golf or something while she,s enjoying her trip !!see you at home babe have fun !! sorry bc guy we must have been replying at the same time-lol Edited July 26, 2011 by renegade must have been typing at the same time as bc guy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites